CHAPTER SIX

NEUTRAL

—

Today was a good day.

Dmitri knew that it was a good day, because for the first time in what felt like years but was just around two weeks, he woke up without a weight pressing down on his chest.

And when he got out of bed, for the first time in a long time, he wasn't dragging himself through calf-deep mud with no energy, where he could move forward, but the effort just seemed more and more taxing until he just wanted to sit down, stop walking, and wallow.

Today was different. There was no valid reason, and honestly he wasn't even extraordinarily happy or anything. He was just a seven on the pH scale, a perfect balance. Neutral.

It had been a while since he had felt neutral. Normal.

"Are you ready?" Trinh's voice blared through the closed door of his bedroom, knuckles rapping against his door. "We need to drop Eden off at school, so if you could hurry the fuck up, I think we would all appreciate it. Annoying ass."

Rolling his eyes, Dmitri tugged on his pants, grabbing a belt from one of the piles of clothes in his room and buckling it, poking his finger in the process. "Eden, Trinh's being a fuckin' annoyance," he yelled out from his room, only doing so because he was sure that Juno was awake, if her small purrs from the corner of the room were anything to go by. "Tell your girlfr— partner, fuck. I'm sorry. Tell your partner to shut their trap." Fuck.

At that, Trinh just began to pound harder on the door. I fucking hate these people. Groaning in frustration, Dmitri yanked the door open, Trinh nearly pounding their fucking fists into his face as he did so.

"What do you want?" he asked, suddenly painfully aware of the fact that his upper body was on full display. "It's not even that late, so why the fuck are you rushing me? Jesus."

Trinh just shrugged, launching themself into his bed with a yelp. "Because I like to piss you off. Brings me joy. Also, I don't mind being called Eden's girlfriend! Sure, partner is nicer, but girlfriend is good, too," they assured, tossing his shirt at him and cackling when it fell to the ground.

"You can annoy me how much ever you want," Dmitri began as he picked up his shirt from the ground and smoothening it. "You can't bring me down, because I'm actually normal today!" Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Well, as normal as I can get, I guess."

Out of nowhere, Trinh stretched their hand forward, gesturing for Dmitri to come closer. With a confused hum, Dmitri took two steps forward, cocking his head to the side and waiting for Trinh to do something.

And they did, by reaching over and smacking him directly on his abdomen, hand slapping against his skin.

"Motherfuck— ! What the fuck, Trinh?" he complained as he tugged on his t-shirt, the plain black one they were told to wear to work, thankfully without any itchy logos on it.

"That was for being annoying. You're perfectly normal all the time." Before Dmitri could protest, Trinh spoke again, "You can't argue with me, I know that I'm right. And you know that I'm right, too."

Dmitri didn't believe that, not even for a second, but he didn't really want to argue with Trinh when they were so adamant about it, so he just gave them a tight-lipped smile and a nod. Good day. It's a good day.

A minute later, when Dmitri was done getting himself ready to go to work, both physically and mentally, he bent down and petted Juno's head once, her small purrs enough to let a smile spread across his face.

"I'll be back in a few hours, cutie," he murmured as he crouched down, lightly scratching her under her chin. "Don't miss me too much."

To anyone else, he probably looked incredibly odd, with the way he spoke to Juno, and how different it was from the way he spoke to everyone else.

But no one knew exactly how much the fucking cat had gotten him through.

An exasperated groan left Trinh's mouth. "Dmitri. You do this every fucking day, she's not gonna miss you if you don't leave her alone," they urged, pulling him by his t-shirt all the way out of the room, only letting go when Eden gave them a horrified look.

"Why are you manhandling him?" Eden frowned, glancing at Dmitri, confusion written on her face when she said, "You're oddly happy today, considering it's—"

Already aware of what she was about to say, Dmitri decided to interrupt her with a cough and a clear of his throat. "Not thinking about that right now!" Or ever.

Eden snorted out a laugh as she shook her head, grabbing an apple from the table. "Okay, well— you'll be done with work by seven, right? I'll be home, so just come home, change your clothes and we'll leave for your parents' house together. Cool?"

Lips pulling into a small frown, Dmitri quickly downed his meds and shoved a granola bar into his pocket, making a mental note to eat it at work. "Don't wanna think about tonight," he repeated, taking his keys out of his pocket and tossing them in Trinh's direction.

"One day, Dmitri," they started, letting out a piteous sigh and walking out of the house, into the driver's seat of his car. "One day, we'll get you to stop ignoring your problems and start acknowledging them. Just you wait."

Again, Dmitri didn't believe that for a second. But Eden was already late, and he didn't exactly enjoy being late either— in fact, he was almost always half an hour early to everything, one of the things that had gotten drilled into his brain since he had started teaching at school.

It was ironic, to be honest. There were approximately two weeks in all his college years where he had actually made it to his classes on time, and the only reason he had even attended his classes in high school was because he was constantly encouraged to do so, with trivial words like, If you make it through the day without falling asleep during class, I'll kiss you, or Make it through the day, and I'll throw in something more than just that.

"Oy. Dmitri," Eden's voice said as she rapped on the window his head was leaning against. "Remember. Come home after work, I'll be waiting, we'll leave whenever you want. Got it?"

When did we even reach the school?

"Got it," Dmitri replied, because honestly, he was too zoned out to actually process the words Eden was saying.

Quickly leaning her head forward, Eden pecked Trinh's lips once, and then again, before raising her hand up as a wave to Dmitri before leaving, disappearing into the school.

As Trinh continued to drive, they shot Dmitri a questioning look through the rear-view mirror, one that he just responded to with a raise of his eyebrows.

"What do you want?" he asked, eyes flitting down to his phone, and then back up at them.

They gave him another look, this time less questioning, more 'what the fuck are you doing?', as they said, "You know, Eden's not the only person you can talk to, right? There are other people you could talk to."

Huh? "Are you jealous? Or— ?" I'm so confused.

Trinh just barked out a laugh, earrings glinting in the morning sun. "Dmitri. No. Just— no." Shaking their head, they laughed again, softly this time, before saying, "What I meant was that you can talk to me, too. I know that you have your trust issues or whatever—"

"Fuck off, I don't."

"— Shut up and listen to me. I met you at a pretty fucking low point in your life, and you said that that wasn't even the lowest." Where are we going with this? "We've known each other for less than a year, and I know that you still see me as Eden's partner or whatever, but... I'm just saying. Eden's not the only person you have to trust."

This was definitely not a conversation that Dmitri wanted to have.

Still, he appreciated it. He appreciated the effort that Trinh was putting in, especially since he wasn't the easiest, or the happiest person to deal with.

Humming as a form of acknowledgement, just to let Trinh know that he had heard them, Dmitri nodded. "I appreciate that," he managed to say, voice stiffer than he expected it to be. "Thank you, Trinh." I sound so fucking weird. Who the fuck speaks like this?

Giving him a small smile, Trinh parked the car outside The Blackbird and stepped out, only entering the coffee shop when Dmitri was out of the car, too and had matched his step with them.

"Okay, so," they started, looking up at him as they spoke. They were so tiny, barely reaching five feet, that it would have been funny if they weren't one of the most intimidating people he knew. "I won't be around much today, I have some bullshit legal work to do, so I won't be here. You know what to do, so just— go do your thing. Dazzle some customers with that smile of yours."

A laugh left Dmitri's mouth at that as he shook his head, gaze falling to the ground. Plastering on a wide, fake smile which soon turned into a genuine one when he realised how stupid he probably looked, Dmitri asked, "This one?"

"Exactly!" Trinh grinned, giving him a thumbs up. "I'll see you in a bit. Maybe not, I dunno. Go, go!" they urged, pushing him to the back of the counter, before going into the back room, shutting the door behind them.

While Dmitri waited for customers to come by and for the place to fill up, he took his granola bar out of his pocket, munching on it as he tried to calm his nerves.

It was a good day, there was no denying that. Nevertheless, the thought of having to meet his stupid fucking parents was still running rampant through the back of his mind, and no matter how much he tried to forget about it, it was still there. And it was stressing the fuck out of him, if the rapid pounding of his heart was anything to go by.

At least Eden was coming with him. She could keep him sane. Hopefully.

Just as he was about to pull his laptop out of his bag and start working on the most recent article he was told to write, someone walked into the shop, pulling out a stool near the counter and sitting down.

Tariq. "Where's Trinh?" he asked, pulling out a few bills from the pocket of his jeans. He hadn't looked up yet, hadn't seen Dmitri there. "Can I have a—"

"Black coffee," Dmitri finished for him, the words leaving his mouth without him even having to think about it. "I know what you drink." Why do I speak?

Shrugging, Tariq's eyes roamed the area behind the counter, finally settling on the granola bar in Dmitri's hands. At once, his eyes narrowed.

"Is that your breakfast?"

What's it to you? was what he wanted to ask, but he couldn't bring himself to do so, the words dancing on the tip of his tongue, refusing to come out. So, all he said was, "Mhm."

Tariq let out a deep, disappointed sigh, accepting his coffee with a reluctant, "Thanks," and doing another quick scan of the food in Dmitri's hand. "Just— eat something more, maybe?" he suggested.

If it was a bad day, Dmitri would have snapped at Tariq, maybe asked him what the fuck his problem was. However, today wasn't a bad day. Today was a good day.

Today was a good day, and Dmitri intended on it staying that way.

"I'm on—" Dmitri began, but paused almost as soon as he started. I'm on antidepressants, and one of the side effects is constant nausea. Or maybe that's just a symptom of the depression. Do I even want to talk about this? "Okay," he relented, placing a few dollar bills from his pocket into the drawer with all the money. "I'll eat something from here."

A look of mild shock crossed Tariq's face, eyes widening for just half a second, maybe even less. "Wow, uh— okay. Good. Didn't expect you to just— I don't know. Anyway," he rambled, pushing himself off the stool. "See you." Then, he left.

I'm so confused. Dmitri shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts as he looked around the shop. Barely anyone was around, a few middle aged people looked to be working, and an odd teenager or two were seated alone. All in all, it wasn't a busy day, which gave him an ample amount of time to work on his articles.

And that was exactly what he did, minutes blending into hours as he typed away at his keyboard, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He worked up until his lunch break, which he always used to visit Juno, give her some food, check if she was okay. And when he got back, he just worked some more, alternating between serving people coffee and typing out article after article.

Somehow, without even realising it, time had sped by and it was almost past seven in the evening when he checked his phone. What he didn't expect to see was three messages from Eden.

e <3 -
Hey hey hey D I'm so sorry😪 I can't come today, my sister's in labor rn????🤰🏿 She's like a whole month early wtf

e <3 -
I'm so so so sorry, I think Trinh mighttt be free, I'll text them??

e <3 -
Fuck okay they're not free, fuuuck, do you want me to come by?? I can if you need me😰😰😰

Those messages were sent over half an hour ago.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Dmitri didn't know what to do, what to listen to— the first side of his brain screaming at him to just cancel, prevent himself from going through something that would almost certainly end with an argument, or the second side of his brain telling him to just suck it up and go without Eden, that he was an adult, that it could be something important.

Setting his phone down, he reached behind to undo his apron, or at least, tried to, though it was proving to be difficult with his hands that just wouldn't stop trembling.

"Need help?"

In an instant, Dmitri looked up, only to find Tariq staring back at him. "No," he tried to say, but it came out as a hoarse whisper instead, bowling ball in his throat preventing him from getting a simple word out.

Tariq rolled his eyes, making his way behind the counter, stopping behind Dmitri. "Move your hands."

"I don't need your help."

There was a pause, and for a moment, Dmitri thought that Tariq had just left. He wouldn't blame him for leaving, he could admit that he was being insufferable.

But then, out of nowhere, he felt a pinch on his hand, followed by a slap on it.

"You fuckin' whore motherfu—"

"Just—" Tariq interrupted, undoing his apron for him with a quick tug. "You're so annoying."

While Dmitri wanted to give him his usual snarky reply, he physically couldn't bring himself to speak, throat scratchy because of the lack of air entering his lungs.

Finally, he just said, "Shut up," because why the fuck was Tariq even talking to him? They had successfully avoided all conversation with each other right from that day at the mall, up until now.

They hadn't spoken about the fact that Dmitri had nearly cried in front of him at the mall, something that he never did in front of people, and they hadn't spoken about the fact that Tariq had stayed with him until he was calmer, until the ringing in his ears had stopped.

Of course, they hadn't completely ignored each other, that part was impossible when Tariq got coffee from downstairs every morning. But they didn't talk this much. This wasn't normal.

"I thought I was supposed to be the one with the shaky hands," Tariq stated, re-appearing in front of him. Then, voice just a decibel softer, he said, "What's wrong?"

For once, Dmitri decided to be honest. What did he have to lose? "I have to visit my parents." Well, I don't have to. But I probably should. I think.

At the mere mention of his parents, Tariq's face soured, eyebrows furrowing. Felt. "Alone?" he asked, and when Dmitri nodded, his face soured even more. "Gross. Just cancel," he offered up as if it was that easy.

It probably was that easy, but at that moment, it definitely didn't feel like it was.

"They said that what they have to say is important," Dmitri muttered, even though he already knew what Tariq was going to say.

"Important enough to put your mental health at risk?"

Called it. "Well, I mean—"

Of course, since Tariq had zero fucking patience and he could never let Dmitri finish one fucking sentence without interrupting him, he said, "Do you want me to come with you?"

No. What the fuck? What in the fuck?

Apparently, Dmitri was taking too long to respond, so Tariq spoke again. "Your parents can be tough to handle alone. I can come with you if you want me to."

Fuck, he didn't know what to do. On one hand, Tariq was the only person who knew just how bad his parents were, but on the other hand, Tariq had no filter, and he would definitely curse his parents out.

Mouth working faster than his mind, Dmitri agreed with a shaky, almost pathetic, "Yeah. Y-Yeah, that would be— yes. Please."

He didn't know why he agreed, to be frank, he didn't know what the fuck was going on. It was late, he was tired, his energy had been spent on making the same drinks over and over and over, and on writing article after article for a few extra dollars. To put it simply, his mind wasn't functioning as well as it should have been.

"Okay." Okay, what? Taking in the confusion that was definitely evident on Dmitri's face, Tariq sighed "I'll come with you. Lemme lock up everything upstairs, and we'll be good."

So, Tariq just shot him one last look, a look that Dmitri just knew meant something along the lines of 'Don't leave without me', before going up the stairs, his thin frame disappearing into the room on the left.

Hand immediately reaching out for the counter, Dmitri gripped it tight to prevent himself from shattering to fragments of glass on the floor of the coffee shop; because if someone else stepped on his glass, they were bound to hurt themself.

That was the last thing that Dmitri wanted.

Fuck.

Today was not a good day.

—

+3200

AN: i said angst didn't i

i didn't think i could get this chapter out, tbh😪 very very busy with school rn, so if i miss a day of updating, pls don't hate me thank u 😌

as always, thank u all for reading !!!!❤️ ur support is everything to me hehe :,) have a good rest of ur day !!!!❤️