" Some people come into your life just to teach you how to let go. "

-unknown-

*****

Dahyun POV

" Are you dating? "

" AAAAK! " I screamed when my personal manager, Miss Yoon appeared out of nowhere. Why do I deserve her, as my manager?

She pulled my hand to a place, somewhere quiet as I felt nervous. She can't know about our relationship, not now. I'm not ready yet to tell her neither my members. 

" What do you mean? I didn't date anyone. He... He is just my friend. " I said, avoiding to look her in the eyes. I swear, her stare could kill me. 

" What are you doing, Kim Dahyun? Did I ever tell you to not dating anyone? " She scolds me as I sigh, heavily. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to collect strength to confront this matter. 

After all, I choose this way to be happy. 

" Park Jimin? From BTS? A rising idol? Snap it out Dahyun. Whatever you're doing please stop it. It won't bring any good. If people caught both of you and made some rumors that you are dating him when actually you are not, you're dead and he is dead too, Dahyun. Do you know that, Kim Dahyun? " 

I sighed again, but heavier. I do realize what am I doing. I do realize it could destroy both of our images and reputation too. I swear I tried to stop to meet him, to text him, to forget about him and not to think about him. But I can't, I just can't. 

I need him. I really need him. The more I try to forget about him, the more he appeared on my mind making me miss him even more. The more I miss him, the more the feeling started to get deeper. The more I crave his love, attention, and his touch. Everything about him is just very addicting. 

"  Are you that innocent, Kim Dahyun? " Miss Yoon asked in frustration. I look at her, puzzled. What? Why innocent? 

" What do you mean that I'm innocent? " I asked earning a deep sigh from Miss Yoon. Poor her. She must really stress because of me.

" You are clearly very clueless about what is happening, Dahyun. Do you even know why he wants to get close to you? Oh, wait. Do you ever been into a relationship before? I've been in and I swear I regretted it with the whole of my life. He, my ex used to get closed to me just because I'm your manager.  I mean yeah, it has nothing to do with this matter but do you know that Jimin wants to get close to you so that he could get Mina's phone number? He is using you, you punk! "

I froze, looking at her in disbelief. Was it true? Or was it all her tricks to trick me? But, Jimin ever confessed that Mina used to be her ideal type but later he changed it. I don't know whom but it wouldn't be me isn't it? 

" Yoon-nim, I... I don't know what you're saying but...  " 

It hurts. 

Why I never thought of this before? My heart, it feels like... I don't know. It hurts so much. I've never ever felt this kind of hurt. I just felt disappointed, a really big disappointment.

" You don't know what am I saying because you simply didn't know. Look, if I did not warn you, what will happen? You will be hurting, isn't it? Okay if you didn't think about yourself and so selfish about it, how about your members? You won't know until you will feel it. You grow up because of pain, Dahyun. " I laughed, sarcastically. 

" Are you telling me that I didn't grow after my parents died? Do you think that I want to hurt myself even more with this matter? I feel happy whenever I'm with him so what's the matter? I know that you do really care about us but calling me selfish just because I am looking for my happiness is just too much. " 

I feel like, I want to cry badly I hold the tears that will come out really soon. Am I look easy to him? Am I a toy to him? The fact that he used me to get closed with Mina is really hurt. And here she is, labeling me selfish for no reason. 

" I'm sorry for - " 

" I should get inside, Yoon-nim. I need some rest. Good night and forget about what I said earlier. " I cut her off and gave her a slight bow before dragged my feet to my dorm and locked myself inside my room.

I want to cry now but my roommates are here. I don't want to make them worry and I don't want to tell them too. So I wrapped myself with a blanket and closed my eyes. 

My phone has a notification from Jimin and I read it. 

" Good night, Dahyun. Earlier, you look really distracted and I don't know what's bothering you but please don't think about it too much. Thanks for tonight and it's really been a while since we meet. "

I sighed heavily and threw the phone away before doze to sleep without replying to his text. I just want to gain peace of mind.

After a week, 

" Cheer Up is released, guys. Yeayyyyyyyyyy. " Jihyo cheered and we cheered too. I am so happy that the MV has released. We work really hard to produce this MV and I hope the MV will become a very big hit.

Well, big hit reminds me of that Jimin. I sighed. He called me last night so I answered in a rush, informing him that I'm busy before hang up.  I glanced at Mina who is cheered along with them.

...Poor Mina. I should have pity myself because I've been used. Hahaha.

My phone is beeping and I quickly checked it.

Congrats for your comeback, Dahyun! I can see your hard work in the MV so good job aye! I know you've been really busy lately so don't forget to eat and get enough rest. I miss you, terribly. 

from: Jimin 

Ne, sunbaenim. You too take care of yourself. 

from: Dahyun

I reply very short. 

Missing me? I don't know whether you're being honest or toying me, sunbae. I sighed heavily with the thoughts lingering on my mind. It's been a week I keep on thinking about this matter and it's really exhausting my mind and my body. 

I hope it wasn't true, sunbae. Tell me, it wasn't true. Tell me that you love me and only me. Not Mina or any girls but for me. 

It's impossible, Kim Dahyun. 

*****

edited: 12.5.20