Five years later:

The salty taste of tears streamed down my cheeks, and the darkness seemed endless. Like a labyrinth, each day was difficult to endure, and sleep proved to be the greatest solace. It was painful, so fucking painful. It felt as if someone had ripped my heart out of my chest, replacing it with a scrap of paper to patch the hole. Like eternity, each day grew longer. The pain grew stronger, and my body weaker.

I couldn't do anything about it.

I didn't want to do anything about it.

My thoughts drifted into memories of when I was alive. I was seventeen back then, he was a few months older. We went to the same school, shared the same passions, and above all, we complemented each other. Like a puzzle, it was beautiful, delicate, filled with pain and hatred. Human jealousy knows no bounds; it will go to any length, regardless of the consequences.

- Hey, Sarah. Are you coming to the cafeteria with us?

- Sure.

The darkness disappeared, and then the doors opened. Did I die? I thought at first. It turned out to be a letter from Harvard declaring that I had been accepted. Oh, that was close-I almost fell into depression if not those doors. Several times a day, my friends visited me after Nathan left me.
I was on the brink of anemia, not wanting to eat or drink anything. For three long years, I fought to live another day. I cried, pitied myself, like a typical teenager after losing someone who loved with all their heart. Although I remember those days all too well, they seem like a blur.
But I think it's even better this way.

I don't want to remember him anymore.

I want to forget.

The past no longer matters; what matters now is what is here and now. I am proud of myself for coming this far because if I had given up, I wouldn't be here now.
I wouldn't have met the wonderful new friends who surround me, and I wouldn't have chosen the "Psychology" major, which is the total opposite of what I liked as a teenager.

Also, I wouldn't have met him.

Mucking around with my food, I watched the guy sitting a few benches away. Blond hair, tall, well-built, promising football player. His name is Isaac White, 23 years old, and he's not some playboy or fuckboy. He's just a good guy with pure intentions, and that's what mattered. Not to mention, he's insanely handsome. But despite all that, something holds me back.
It's been 5 years, Sarah, let it go and move forward as Alex said...

- I think he's into you. - Noticed my friend and roommate Camilla. Together with my other friend Archie, they were eating popcorn, watching Isaac as if he were standing there naked.

- Where are these suspicions coming from? - I laughed, pretending I had no idea what she was talking about. I'm not a naive 17-year-old anymore; I knew very well that Isaac was into me, but I didn't want to get into any relationship at the moment. I wasn't ready yet.

- Girl, I'm gay, but even I can see how he looks at you. - Archie scolded me with a glance, finishing off the popcorn.

- I heard girls were checking him out in the locker room, supposedly he's well-endowed. - Camilla whispered, causing Archie's jaw to drop.
They both turned their gaze to me to see my reaction, but unfortunately, they weren't impressed by it.

- Sarah, are you okay? Should I take you to doctor? Let them dig around in your head and see what's in there. - Camilla laughed.

- I think someone should dig into her lower part. - Archie added, prompting Camilla to burst into laughter along with him, drawing the attention of the entire cafeteria.

- Ha, ha, ha, very funny. - I responded slightly annoyed. Every day they try to set me up with some guy despite my objections, thinking I should have someone to relieve me 'down there'

- It seems to me that someone else is in her head. - Camilla said after a moment of thought. She was closely observing my reaction; she had known me for almost 3 years, and in such a short time, she knew more about me than I did myself.

- Look, it's just not like that- Archie and Camilla interrupted me, they knew exactly what I was going to say.

- 'I need time, I'm not ready for a relationship right now, that's all' - They said it at the same time, not even a hint of surprise or emotion on their faces. It was as if they had rehearsed this moment countless times before, perfectly synchronized in their actions and words.

- Girl, you're wasting away! You'll soon wither away like my fern because I haven't watered it in ages. - Archie exclaimed, waving his arms. Slowly, I began to worry about how much they were worrying about my lower part.

- How long ago? - Camilla asked, confused.

- A long, long time ago... - Archie admitted, avoiding Camilla's eyes. She gave him the fern, he must have forgotten about it.

I chuckled lightly as I watched my friends bicker, then involuntarily turned my gaze to Isaac, who was eyeing me.
He stood with his teammates and a few cheerleaders who were trying to catch his attention. I smiled friendly at him, and suddenly he said something to his friends before starting to walk towards me. Shit, I didn't think this through.

Glancing at my still arguing friends, I grabbed my things and stood up to approach Isaac heading my way.
I wanted to spare myself the embarrassment my friends might cause me in front of him.

- Hey, where are you going? - Camilla asked, noticing me gathering my things. She turned around, and her eyes met Isaac's. Immediately, she grinned widely and started to whistle. - Hi Isaac! - she chirped.

- Hey there. - Isaac's voice was warm, his eyes locking onto mine with a mix of curiosity and anticipation. - Hey, Sarah. - he added, his tone softening as a small smile played on his lips.

- Hey, what's up? - I asked, trying to steer the conversation. As I spoke, I unconsciously tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, my heart fluttering nervously in my chest.

- I'm great, - Isaac said with a hint of hope in his voice, his eyes brightening with anticipation. - I've got a few more classes left and then practice, and I'm free. Would you like to go somewhere with me? - He shifted slightly, his posture open and inviting, waiting eagerly for my response.

- Sorry, I'll be a bit busy... I need to study, yeah, - I lied, and my friends had to react.

- Cough, she's lying, cough. Ehem, did somebody said something? - Camilla said, her eyes twinkling mischievously, while Archie on her left barely contained his laughter.

- Although, I think it'll do me good. - I agreed under pressure. I didn't want to let Isaac down; I knew he held genuine feelings for me. So, I had to pull myself together and forget about what once was.

- Great, how about 4 o'clock? - Isaac asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes as he leaned forward slightly, awaiting my response.

A warm smile spread across my face as I nodded in agreement. - Sure, no problem. - I replied, my voice filled with enthusiasm.

Isaac's grin widened, his excitement palpable as he leaned back in his chair. - Okay, see you then. - he said, his voice tinged with anticipation.

- See you. - I responded, giving a small wave as I watched him walk away.

- See you, Isaac, - Camilla and Archie chimed in, mimicking my voice with playful grins.

- You're behaving like little kids. - I said, placing my hands on my chest and giving them a reproachful look.

- You're behaving like little kids~ - they echoed my words. With a roll of my eyes, I waved them off before heading to my classes.

- It's about Nathan, right? - Archie asked, looking at Camille who gazed at Sarah leaving.

- She still hasn't forgotten him.. - Camilla whispered. - Let's hope, that some miracle will happen, and someone else will bring her to life like he did.

The clock was ticking slowly, each tick of the second hand echoing in the empty space. It felt as if time wanted to showcase its relentless power, reminding me that it flows inexorably, whether we choose to accept it or not. I hate that feeling when time seems to slow down, when minutes stretch into hours, and seconds linger for an eternity. It's the sensation of everything being suspended in a vacuum, while I stand still, trying to grasp something tangible, something that assures me I still exist.

I stared at the sheet of paper in front of me, on which words were scribbled with my trembling hand. The world outside the classroom was engulfed in silence, and I was caught up in the whirlwind of my thoughts, unable to comprehend what these words truly meant. They could have been notes from class, perhaps an attempt to understand a complex concept, but to me, they were just abstract symbols on the page, devoid of meaning.

After what felt like an eternity, the bell finally rang, marking the end of the lecture. I had been eagerly anticipating this moment, yet now that it had arrived, I hesitated to leave. I had always been one to stay behind, ensuring I understood every detail before moving on. As I stepped out of the university gates, my phone buzzed in my pocket, interrupting my thoughts. I glanced at the caller ID and recognized my mother's number.

Hi Mom, - I greeted, answering the call and adjusting my pace to a leisurely stroll.

- Hi sweetheart, how was your day? - her voice filled with warmth and concern.

- It was okay, just busy with classes and assignments... - I replied, trying to sound more upbeat than I felt.

- How's school going overall? Any exciting plans? - she inquired, always eager to hear about my academic progress and social life.

- School's going well, and as for plans, not much really. - I replied, not wanting to burden her with the details of my personal life. - Ah, okay. Well, I'm actually meeting up for coffee with a friend later. - I added hesitantly, knowing she would probably press for more details.

- Oh, a friend? That sounds lovely! Anyone I know? - she asked eagerly, her tone betraying her curiosity.

- No, just someone from one of my classes. - I replied, trying to keep it vague.

- Ah, well, that's nice. I'm glad to hear you're getting out and socializing. - she said, her tone shifting to one of subtle encouragement.

- Yeah, me too. - I mumbled, feeling a pang of guilt for not being completely honest with her.

- Sweetheart, I'm really proud of you. Moving on after what happened with Nathan can't be easy, but you're handling it so well. - she said sincerely, her words catching me off guard.

- Thanks, Mom. - I replied, feeling a lump form in my throat. - I'm trying...

- Of course, dear. Just remember, I'm always here for you, no matter what. - she reassured me, her motherly love palpable even through the phone.

- Thanks, Mom. I love you. - I said, feeling a surge of gratitude for her unwavering support.

- I love you too, sweetheart. Take care. - she said before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Uncertainly, I stood in front of the café, which seemed to be one of those magical places where time flows slower, and hearts can find their peaceful shelter.
My eyes wandered around the building until I finally spotted Isaac sitting at a table in the corner through the window.
I watched as the waitress incessantly asked him if he wanted to order something, but he politely brushed her off. He seemed immersed in his thoughts, and the café seemed to be a kind of solace for him.

And as I gazed at him, I realised that maybe, just maybe, this could be the beginning of something beautiful.