**** TEAM'S POV *****

-- At Win's Room -

I was now helplessly being dragged to enter Hia Win's spacious room.

I wanted to argue with Hia Win because I don't want to stay with him in his room but he seems so serious that I was not able to find the courage to talk back to him and besides, my whole body already feels too weak.

I have a lot of things in my mind that I wanted to tell him but I just kept silent and overthink by myself.

I wanted to tell him that I don't want him to take care of me.

I wanted to tell him that he doesn't need to worry over me.

I wanted to tell him that he have no obligation towards me.

He may be my trainer at the Swimming Club but we are not really that much related to each other and I don't think we can already be even called "friends" so he doesn't need to do anything for me.

Although I wanted him to know that I appreciate him being nice and caring to me as his nong but he doesn't need to take it too seriously, acting as if he really is supposed to take me as his responsibility.

I wanted to tell him to just completely ignore me even just for today.

I wanted to ask him to forget that he saw me looking pitiful and unconscious earlier.

If possible I also just want him to forget that he needed to save me earlier.

I know I shouldn't have tried to end my life particularly in that place that is precious to many other students just like me.

I know I might have caused a huge scandal if other students found out what I did and worst it might have bad effect on the whole university.

To be honest, at first it wasn't really my intention at all but the pain I was feeling earlier have just became too unbearable for me that even being under the water which is supposedly my remedy doesn't help me feel even a little numb.

Moreover, I think Hia being able to see this weak side of me plus the fact that he actually found me just at the right time that I have finally decided to give up my life was already too much to handle.

I have already shamed myself in front of him too much that I believe he already have more than enough information that he can use to control me or to make fun of me in the future.

I can't help but wonder why he had to be there and why did he have to save me...

If he didn't arrived there, this fucking endless pain I am feeling in my heart could have finally ended if I really died earlier...

And if it did happen, I wouldn't have to be feeling this horrible again.

I wouldn't have to be reminded that my freaking whole life here on earth is nothing but full of enormous tragedies and sorrow.

Maybe it was actually not yet my time to give up because I still have to at least pay last visit to my mother's grave as well as to bid goodbye to Granny...

But I can't help but wished it was not Hia who saved me earlier...

I wished it was not him who were able to witness that terrible scene...

I clearly felt how horrified he was as his whole body was shaking as well.

What if he was not able to save me?

He might have been traumatized.

What if he was actually traumatized right now but he was just trying to act cool in front of me?!?

I don't think I can ever forgive my self for making him feel bad because of my selfishness...

I know I shouldn't have let my guard down this early but I just really can't help not to get attached to him specially the past days that we have been spending a lot of time together.

He have been really caring and attentive towards me...

I feel terrible and so freaking terrified right now...

I am afraid that he might suddenly change the way he treats and sees me...

Almost same scenario have already happened a lot of times in the past... People who I thought was really concern about my well-being and who have already taught me to open up will out of the blue get tired of me because they say I am too much to handle and some have even used my weakness for their own benefits...

Just why did it have to be him?!?

Why Hia Win?!?

He was just able to let me see and feel his real warmth within him just the other day...

My heart has already softened up to him...

Will I lose him as well after this awful day?!?

My heart just clenched more...

Fuck this unceasing pain!!

Oh Lord, tell me please..... do you really want me to be alone forever??

I covered my face before I broke down and sobbed like a child forgetting the fact that I am not alone and not realizing where I am at the moment.

I was already shivering so badly.

Out of nowhere, it felt like I was wrapped up with a warm feeling...

   
Someone just hugged me....

I was suddenly locked in a warm gentle embrace...

I am afraid to look whoever the person is hugging me right now but his body feels so warm and soothing.

One hand was caressing my back lightly while the other hand was holding me close to his body.

When I realized that the person consoling me right now is no other than Hia Win, I can't help but sobbed even harder.

I cried and cried until I feel so exhausted to the point that it almost felt like my tears have already run dry.

Hia just kept on comforting me and he just let me cry in his arms for I don't know how long.

"N'Team, I don't know what happened to you but all I can see is you are having a hard time... It's okay to cry your heart out... You can keep on crying until you feel better... I will be right here beside you to accompany you..." he said softly and I can actually feel that he is really sad as well.

"I'm so sorry that you are hurting this much. If only I can take away some of the pain on your behalf, I will do it right now." he continued while I just listened silently still in tears.

My head was still resting on his chest as he still keep on hugging and rubbing my back simultaneously to comfort me.

I wanted to hug him back but I can't bring my self to do it as I feel scared that he might feel disgusted being touched by me.

I don't know how long we stayed in this position and how long I have been crying like a fool. I have already been too oblivious with our surrounding as all I can hear is the loud heartbeat which I am not really sure whether it was mine or Hia's.

It was so loud and fast but somehow it makes me feel calm.

I feel like I will pass out any minute now and my head was throbbing painfully so I closed my eyes and just let my body lean on him more.

I then felt his hand tried to wipe away the tears on my face gently.

"Shhh... Hush now... Stop thinking too much... It's okay... You can rest for now..." he said softly before he helped me to lay my body down.

I didn't even realize that we are already on his bedroom and that we have actually been sitting on his bed the whole time I was crying.

I was already laying on the bed comfortably when he let go of me and when I felt that he was about to leave, my hand automatically reached out to him.

I was not able to say a word so I just looked at his eyes before I looked down to my hand holding his arm tight.

My heart and mind feels like having an argument whether to let go of him or not.

I felt so scared to let him go thinking that he might really leave me and never come back again.

I wanted to tell him not to leave me but I know I don't have the right to tell him what to do so I just closed my eyes again and loosen my grip on his arm.

He suddenly held my hand and squeezed it lightly making me feel assured.

"You don't have to worry... I won't leave you... I am just going to get you a glass water... I'll come back quick..." he said and I don't know whether to believe he was saying the truth or not so I just nodded as response without looking back at him.

I was now left all alone with the deafening silence of the room.

I felt my heart tightened again.

"I'm here now... I'm sorry it took me a while..." he said as soon as he sat down beside me and immediately wiped away the tears that I didn't realize have flowed down.

"Here drink this water first before you rest." he stated while helping me raise my body a little for me to be able to drink.

Even swallowing the water felt painful for me but Hia insisted to make me finish the whole glass so I have no choice but to oblige since I can't even talk back to him at the moment.

He helped me lay down again then he positioned himself beside me.

I really want to ask him to hug me to sleep but I can't bring my self to utter a word..

He was staring at me intently and it made me feel weird so I just closed my eyes to avoid his gaze.

I felt his fingers gently brushing off some hair strands away from my face before he caressed my face again.

The light touch of his fingers made me yearn for his warmth more that I was not able to fight back the urge to lean some more towards his direction.

He might have sensed that I wanted him to touch me more so he moved closer towards me.

He suddenly  draped his arm under my head before he gently positioned it over his chest.

I was again locked in his warm embrace.

I can now hear the soothing sound of his heartbeat again.

I don't know if I have just been too focused on listening to the sound of his heart or to the feeling of warm body towards mine that I was startled when he suddenly held my hand before he placed it over his chest beside my head.

His other hand was rubbing my back slowly while his other hand was still holding my hand over his chest.

I then felt like I melted on his embrace and his smell once again made me feel more calm. 

I moved my head towards his neck so I can sniff his scent more.

I used to love to do this to my Mother and to Granny whenever I feel overwhelmed by my emotions and it never failed me even once. When my Mother died, I have almost became inseparable with Granny because I can only sleep peacefully whenever I can smell her scent and after my father chased her away from our lives, I never had a good sleep again.

That was until last night because I must admit that I had a peaceful sleep while sniffing Hia Win's scent and hugging his arm.

I moved my nose further towards his face and I just stopped when it was already touching his neck. I felt Hia's body stiffened a little and his hand even suddenly stopped moving but I still continued snuggling his neck to take more of his manly scent perfectly mixed with the sweet-flower-like smell of either his cologne or body wash.

I felt afraid that he might push me away but luckily he immediately recovered and let me keep doing it.

I felt warm and contented that it made me smile.

I was about to drift off to sleep when I felt a warm hand touched my face followed by a feeling of something soft lightly touched my forehead. 

-----------------

**** WIN'S POV *****

Finally, Team have already fallen asleep.

I was so freaking scared to death earlier.

I don't know why I was that scared but all I know at that moment was I can't just give up on him.

I was so freaking glad I didn't immediately gave up when I felt my arms almost became numb. 

 What could've happen if I stopped pumping him earlier?!?

What could've happen if Mike didn't found him there?!?

What could've happen if I didn't rush over to him!?!?

FUCK!

I would definitely blame my self for the rest of my life if he really died earlier.

I wonder what happened to him... I knew he was going through something yesterday but he was already looking better before he fall asleep...

Did something happen again to him this morning that pushed him to his limits?!?

My heart is in pain already just trying to imagine how hurt he must have been for him to want to end his life.

I kept on rubbing his back lightly for him to continuously feel my presence because I am afraid that he might suddenly panic if he will feel that he is alone.

I found my self staring at his peaceful sleeping face.

"Team, please promise me you won't ever attempt to this again..." I softly whispered to him before I plant a light kiss on his forehead.

Oh God!! He is burning up with fever!!

I slowly take his head off of me and lightly fix him on the bed.

I carefully stood up from the bed to get a towel and a basin with a little cold water to help lower his temperature.

I wiped his body with the wet towel starting from his face, to his arms, hands and to all the other places that I can. I also placed one towel over his forehead and I just continued wiping his body until I felt his temperature became better.

I tucked him in a blanket and placed pillows at both of his sides for him to feel that someone is beside him.

I went to the kitchen to look for something to cook because I think he still haven't eaten any breakfast and I can't make him take medication without ensuring that he have already eaten something. Fortunately, I found chicken breasts on my refrigerator so I decided to cook a Chicken Rice Porridge.

I tried to cook as fast as I can when I suddenly got a call from Dean.

Damn it! I forgot to text him that I can't go to school today.

---- Phone Conversation ----

Win: Dean, sorry I forgot to text you that I can't come to school today.

Dean: Why?! What happened to you?!

Win: Nothing happened... I am.. uh... just not feeling well.

I obviously lied because I can't let anyone else know what happened to Team to avoid getting too much attention.

Dean: Come on~ Why are you lying to me?! You obviously do not sound sick.

Oh fuck. I forgot that this is Dean the smart ass guy I am talking to. 

Win: I uh.... was sick earlier but I already feel better now..

Dean: Ai'Mike already called me earlier so stop lying already.

Win: Damn that Ai'Sat Mike!! 

Dean: Now spill it already...

Win: I can't tell you anything yet but I promise I will call you back later. Please just cover up for me for now.

Dean: I already did inform our professors that you are not feeling well but still you owe me an explanation and I want to hear it now.

Win: I'll call back as soon as I can... let me just finish cooking porridge before Team wakes up.

Dean: Ai'Sat Win! What did you do to Nong Team?!!

Win: Oi! I didn't do anything... Didn't you say Mike already called you?!

Dean: He did but he didn't tell me the any details.

Win: Sat! You said you already know I am lying and now you are telling me for the details?! I'm hanging up now. I will call you later.

Dean: Win, I am warning you! Team is our nong from our precious club and let me remind you that he is one of our ace member so don't you dare mess with that kid.

Win: What the hell are you talking about, Dean?! Just what did that Ai'Sat Mike told you?!?

Dean: Actually he just told me that you might not be able to come to school but you might forgot to inform me so he initiated to call me but he said that he won't tell the reason why because you still owe him an explanation as well.

Win: But how come you know I am with Nong Team?

Dean: Because that's the only information he told me and he kept on asking me about that nong. Now tell me what I need to know or I will go there to find out my self whatever it is that you did to him.

Win: Hey, are you really my friend?!? Why are you making it sound like I will do horrible things to him!? 

Dean: I actually am your friend that's why I know you so well. 

Win: Uh! Whatever! Believe it or not but I am not doing anything horrible to N'Team cause I am in fact trying to help him by taking care of him as a good senior of him because the kid is sick. Now I am ending the call cause I am really in a hurry.

Dean: Okay fine. I'll believe you for now but Ai'Win, you better behave yourself and spare that innocent kid. 

Win: Fuck off! I'm dropping the call.  Bye!

---- End of Phone Conversation ----

Damn that crazy friends of mine!

Finally, I have already finished cooking the porridge.

I still can't help but wonder what Ai'Mike told Dean for him to talk to me like that!!?

Arrggh~!! I am getting frustrated and I was about to call him when I suddenly heard weird noises from the room.

SHIT!!!

Team must have woken up already!!

I hurriedly ran towards the room and there I found him still sleeping but it seems like he is having nightmare.

"Help me!!"

"Please don't leave me..."

"Help!!!"

Team kept on screaming and it took me a while before I was able to wake him up.

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Author's note:

Published -  June 3, 2020

3,120+ words!!!

Thank you to you guys for patiently waiting for my update and for continuously enjoying this story. This is a little bit slow paced because as I said before I really want Team and Win to grow together first. I don't know why I have this imagination of the two of them getting personally attached with each other because of an incident that have changed not just how they feel for each other but changed something in their selves as well.

There's a continuation of this that I hopefully will be able to post tomorrow.

Thank you so much for the 6,150 reads and 278 votes!!!

Your votes and comments are all well appreciated I promise~~