There was no memorial service; no large outpouring of support from your team, and no words of remembrance spoken. The only people allowed at this final moment with Maggie were you, Steve, and Tony. Your trio refused to come along, not wanting this memory of their baby sister to be the last that they had. You didn't argue, and you understood; it made a strange sense to you that it would be just the three of you here, and that was enough if not almost too many. Of course, as a part of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, when one of them fell or became victim to trauma or sorrow, the media felt the right to push themselves into your life without regard to your feelings. Ever the vigilant guardian, just as he had done after your accident, Vision stood strong at a far periphery of the small cemetery, casting a hazy field around you so that their prying eyes couldn't see the private moment.

You had cried so much that there just wasn't anything left. Now, as you stared blankly at the damp and cold ground that would hold her instead of in your own arms, your eyes burned with the pain of dryness and desperation for even just one of the tears that you had given up on. Nothing was going to make this hurt any less so wasting tears felt pointless now. Someone was holding your hand, but honestly, you weren't sure who; the skin against yours was too rough to be Tony's, but Steve had been keeping his distance over the past few days so it was unlikely that he would step up now. Tony had been just as much of a mess as Steve, if not more; at first it seemed as if he were handling this the best of all of you, but when he showed up today with a clumsy stumble in his step and just the hint of a slur in his speech, you weren't sure who to be more concerned for. Ultimately forcing yourself to turn away from the sight of the hollow ground that matched your heart, you were shocked at who you found to be next to you.

"Steve?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I haven't been here for you these past couple of days, or for the kids. I've been really lost and I just don't..." he paused, sucking in a pained breath, "I don't understand."

"Some things aren't meant to be understood," you nodded reluctantly, working diligently to keep your eyes on him. "Some things just happen. We did everything we could."

"You did everything right," he agreed readily, finally looking back. "She was so lucky to have you as her mom, (Y/N). They all are. I'm so thankful that the triplets are okay, you know? I'm thankful that I didn't do this to them too."

"Steve..."

"Um, listen," he continued, dropping his voice to nearly a whisper, "after we're done here, I think I'm going to go out to the house for a while, back in Brooklyn. I need a few days to get my head on straight, and I can't do that at the compound, it's just too much there."

"Okay, I understand."

When he didn't get the answer that he was expecting, he turned his body fully towards you, and you could see the tension beginning to leave his shoulders as he exhaled the worry away heavily. He needed the time to work though this, and to get back to the husband and father you all deserved, but he didn't think that you'd so readily just let him go when there was so much pain happening within your little family. He didn't think that you would let him leave you behind so easily. "Wait, you do? You're not mad? Why aren't you yelling at me? Buck said that I'm being a chickenshit but you're just okay with it?"

"If taking a few days away is what you need to realize that this wasn't your fault, then of course I want you to go, Steve. You just need to promise me that you're not going to do anything stupid. And...that you'll come back to us."

"I promise." He wanted to lean down to kiss you, and to feel anything to remind him of how things used to be not so long ago; he wanted so much to feel normalcy and to make this unrelenting pain go away, but he knew that it would never be enough. Steve turned back towards the ground in front of him at the sounds of shoveled earth being tossed atop the small casket with a tight gasp that grabbed his chest and caught his breath in his throat. This was it. This was the last moment, and he wanted to be anywhere but here. He could feel his panic starting again; it was the same panic that held him tight to the wall that day in her hospital room, leaving him mute and immobile. He tried to pull away from your hand and run in any direction to find air, but you wouldn't release him.

"Watch, Steve. Breathe."

"I can't watch, (Y/N)," he panted, his breaths ragged as his emotions overtook him. "Please, don't make me do this."

"You can't leave her now."

He knew you were right, that if he turned and walked away from this, he would never forgive himself. He swallowed his tears away and straightened himself, the grip of his hand around yours close to crushing the bones within it, but you paid it no attention. Nothing could have drawn either of you away, and you stood silent in reflection until the very last tap of the shovel to smooth the ground beneath it. When it was finally time to leave, and when you thought that you had actually survived one of the worst days of your life, it somehow got worse.

"I should be dead, not her," Tony mumbled, dropping himself sloppily onto his knees next to the freshly settled grave. "What do I have left to prove, (Y/N)? What else can I do with my life that I haven't already done? She didn't have more than a few days to know what life was, and I was an arrogant asshole to decide that it was enough."

"Dad, don't do that to yourself. They couldn't save her, no matter who would have stopped them."

"I would've given her anything she needed to just fucking live, (Y/N). They could've ripped my heart out of my chest and I would've helped. Why didn't I say that? You asked me to fix it, and I broke it completely. You have to hate me so much. I hate me so much. Dad was right, I'm a failure."

"Tony, come on-" Steve tried, but his words were cut short.

"I can't sleep," he finally admitted to you, making everything so much clearer, "and every time I close my eyes to try, it just keeps playing over and over and over in my head. No matter which bottle I grab, and no matter how much I swallow, I can't drink it away." When you released Steve's hand and tried to go to him, Tony stood quickly with raised hands, looking almost desperate to keep you from touching him. "No, don't do that. I don't want it. I don't want your pity, or your forgiveness. I don't want it."

"Dad, please-"

"No! Just go back to Steve. You have enough pain without me giving you more." He stumbled back slightly, his feet bumping into each other when he turned around, but he paused and regained his center before beginning to walk towards his car. "I don't want it," he muttered again, waving you off.

You exchanged a frightened look with Steve before turning to find Vision not standing far away. "Don't let him go," you commanded him, rushing to your teammate. "Viz, I need your help. Dad's drunk and about to leave. He can't drive."

"Pay it no worry, (Y/N). I will have him home safely."

"Thank you," you sighed, allowing him to set a gentle hand on your arm as he passed by to catch up with Tony. It was a strange feeling to look back at your husband and feel a sense of relief in knowing that he would be gone from you for a while, each of you dealing with your grief in your own way, but without each other. This was the first time that you welcomed his absence, but you couldn't place why. Maybe it was so you could focus on Tony, because he clearly needed help, or maybe it was so that you could immerse yourself in your other three kids to be sure that they were okay, but no matter what it was, you were almost anxious for him to leave.

"What are you thinking?" Steve asked, approaching you cautiously, the dark threads of his suit coat making him look pale and fatigued, and somehow smaller to you. His hands were thrust into his pockets and he didn't reach for you this time as he kept some distance between you; he was starting to pull away so that he could make it easier to leave.

"I'm thinking...that...wait, is that Wanda? What's she doing here?"

"Dunno," he shrugged, joining in to follow you to meet her.

"Wanda, what's going on? We asked that no one else come here today."

"I had to, (Y/N), I'm sorry," she answered readily, looking anxiously between you and Steve. "There's something happening that I need to show you." She held her hands out, one to each of you, watching with wide eyes and a nod of encouragement for you to take them. "Please, I need for you to see this."

Steve took her hand first, closing his eyes to prepare for the sensation of Wanda entering his mind and the inevitable vertigo and nausea that came after. You reluctantly followed suit, taking her other hand with a small groan, closing your eyes and allowing her access when there were terrible things in your mind that you wanted no one to see. A small slit of an opening in one peeking eye allowed you to see her looking back, her expression telling you that she had already found them.

~~~

"Open your eyes."

When you followed her command, you found yourself standing in a strangely familiar environment, one that you had seen before, but couldn't quite place right away. It was Central Park, you knew that, but it had a strange glow about it, and it didn't feel genuine. You spun around to survey it all, and it gave you an uneasy weighted feeling in your gut and your heart skipped.

"Wanda," Steve began, "why are we here again?"

"Again?" you asked, stepping closer to him.

"This is where I stopped you from...from leaving me...forever."

"Oh my god," you gasped, "you're right. Wanda, what are you doing?"

"Giving you the only thing that I know to offer. I hope that I'm giving you peace."

A high-pitched squeal and giggle sounded from a few feet away, both you and Steve turning towards the sound together, but each with your own marked reactions to what you were now seeing. He didn't reach for you at all when you dropped to your knees in an immediate sob, holding your stomach much as you did that day on her hospital room floor; in contrast, he stood steady, his gaze locked on the small girl with shining blonde hair and a smile that was brighter than any light he had seen here before. He was entranced and terrified at the same time.

"Maggie," Steve whispered, taking a few steps forward, "it's her, isn't it?"

"She was here," you gasped, trying to control your breaths, "I saw her when I was here. Dad was pushing her on a swing, but I didn't know who she was. Maggie was always here, wasn't she? This was always going to happen."

"Yes," Wanda answered softly. "There was no way to change it. You saw her here because she was already with you then, but you didn't know it yet."

"She looks healthy," Steve finally whimpered quietly, his voice breaking, "how she was supposed to be. She looks so happy, (Y/N). But...why hasn't she gone through yet? Where is it?"

"She wanted to go together, so she waited."

You pushed yourself up, and your legs began to shake under the weight of not your body, but the emotions that had washed over you like a floodgate opened without warning. Steve took your arm in hand to help, but his focus was straight ahead and he almost missed his grip in his inattentiveness, which you shared as well. Maggie really did look happy, maybe all of a few tender years old at best, smiling back at you with a small wave of her tiny hand. "Who waited, Wanda?"

"No," Steve suddenly pleaded, releasing you and taking several steps back as a new sight filled his vision. His eyes immediately squeezed shut as if he was struck by agony, his hands out before him defensively to keep himself safe from what he was seeing in front of him. "No, this isn't happening. I don't want to see this. Take me back."

"Steve, she waited so that you could see her one last time," Wanda explained, reaching out for his hand gently, "she waited for Maggie so you could say goodbye to them both. So you could start to heal knowing that they had each other now."

"That's not Peggy."

"It is."

"Honey, look at them," you urged, despite not wanting to look at them either, "this is the last time you will ever be able to. Don't waste this chance." He reluctantly opened one eye slowly, then the other, allowing you to take one of his hands to lead him closer to them. "Come with me, Steve. We need to do this." He didn't argue, but he followed slowly, reluctantly, and filled with anticipation of what was about to happen. When you closed the space that hung between you all, you knelt down in front of your girl and took her face in your hands.

"Hi, baby."

"Hi, Mama."

"Oh, god," you mumbled, trying to stay composed. "I want you to go with Peggy, okay, sweetheart? Stay with her, because she's going to take care of you for me, and for Daddy. I promise you, even though I'm not with you, I love you so very much, and I always will."

"Steven," Peggy smiled gently, reaching out but recoiling when he shied away from her, "it's alright, darling. I will give her all of the love that you would have, and more."

"That's impossible," he hissed, leaving her to only smile gently with understanding of his pain. Steve too then knelt down next to you, holding out his arms for Maggie to rush into them. He held her so tightly that he hoped that she would just become a part of him so that he could hold her forever, to make up for his wrong of not doing so while she was alive. "I love you too, baby. More than you know."

"Alright, Maggie, my love, we must go now. Take my hand."

"It's okay," Steve sniffled, releasing her, "go on. It's okay."

The tiny girl took Peggy's hand and looked back at the two of you as they walked away, still smiling but now with a sadness in her eyes as she got farther away. Because neither of you wanted to see the moment that she would be gone, for the second time, you turned to each other and allowed Steve to envelop you in his hold, whispering reassurances to each other until they were both fully out of sight and Wanda was ready to release you. When you opened your eyes again, you were back in that small cemetery, and darkness had fallen around you. It had a painful honesty to it and echoed the emptiness that hollowed out your heart.

Steve took your face in his hands and leaned down to kiss you one more time, knowing that it would be the last time until he could bring himself back to you as the man you wanted him to be. He had promised to come back, needing a few days to clear his mind and work through his guilt, promising you that when he returned, he would be your Steve just as he had always been.

After two months had passed with no word, you wondered if you would ever see your Steve again.