Bitchass Coach: Hello everyone, and thank you for coming to the first football practice of the season that we're probably gonna fuck up big time, so to start this bitch of a season off let's do some attendance. Alright, first off; Micheal "Yo'ass". Is there a Micheal "Yo'ass" up in here?

Micheal: Umm... it's pronounced Yoas.

Bitchass Coach: No it's not! It says on the paper Micheal "Yo'ass". Go sit yo ass down on that bench over there! We ain't messin' around this season. You got me. Yoas? What type of bullshit is that. Alright, next. Radley K'napp. Do we have a Radley K'napp here?

Radley: Umm... here, but my last name is Knapp.

Bitchass Coach: So now we got two bullshitters up in this bitch. Okay...okay... just testin' me. Okay... okay. You now what, you can go sit yo ass down next to Micheal "Yo'ass" , you hear me? You makin' me look like a mother fuckin' idiot, not knowing how to read, god dammit. Now everyone's better fuckin' know I don't mess with shit like you guys. I don't think it's funny! Jesus Christ. Alright, next... and no bullshitting this time! Gordon Cagafuck. Is Gordon Cagafuck here? *long pause* I guess he's not here. 

Gordon: *raises hand*

Bitchass Coach: Alright you are here, good. You ain't fuckin' around I can see...

Gordon: It's pronounced Cagafooce.

Bitchass Coach: Oh my FUCKING god! You see this bitch right here? You see him? You know this little " me pronouncing names wrong" game your playin' with your homies over on the bench over there? It ain't makin' anyone fuckin' laugh. So go sit down on that FUCKIN' bench with your BITCHASS fake MOTHER FUCKIN' name gang and think about what the FUCK is wrong with you! Enough with that mother fucker. No messin' around anymore. It goes for all of you. Next up is Dylan Beyar. Dylan Beyar?

Dylan: It's Dylan Biar-

Bitchass Coach: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!