Suffering without you

How bad would it be if I said now, that I've been avoiding Myles for 3 weeks ?

No it's not a joke, I haven't heard a word from him in 3 weeks.

I don't know how he is, where he is and what he's doing.

Ethan kept calling me to see how I was doing but as soon as he started talking about Myles I cut him off, because the guilt only got worse.

I'm on my way to therapy right now and I hope it will make me feel better, because the last two weeks have been just horrible. I hardly eat anything and I notice that my body is getting weaker again. Luckily my mother hasn't noticed it yet, otherwise she would have sent me back to the doctor straight away.

———

When I entered the room, most of them were already sitting in a circle of chairs. The usual familiar faces smiled at me except for one person I couldn't find.

Jaden.

I haven't seen him for so long, it's weird because he wasn't here last week either and the week before that too.

"Ms Baker do you know where Jaden is? I haven't seen him for a long time." I asked ihr therapist.

"No dear, unfortunately I don't know where he is either. He has been absent for three weeks, but you don't need to worry, the last time I saw him he told me that he would stay with his aunt for a while, he is probably still with her."

I just nodded to her answer but it didn't calm me down one bit. I still had a weird feeling in my stomach.

Back at home I went to my room and went straight to bed. I've been kind of tired lately, so I thought a little nap wouldn't be so bad. But before I could even close my eyes, my cell phone rang.

"Hey Ethan." I said.

"Hey Madellaine how are you ?" He replied.

"I'm fine and you ?"

"Umm well, okay I guess." He said hesitantly.

"Why, what's going on ?" I replied.

"It's Myl-" he started.

"No don't say his name, please."

"Listen to me, I know you don't want to hear anything from him, but he needs you okay, you don't know how broken he's been for 3 weeks. He hardly works out, eats nothing and his whole psyche suffers from it. Please Madellaine."

"Ethan... you know I can't. I can't look him in the eyes."

"I know what happened between you and him, I understand that it's hard for you, but I'm telling you if you don't sort this out soon, you're both going to suffer. Please Madellaine, just go to his house and be there for him. I know that when he sees your face he'll feel better." He begged.

I know what you're thinking,

Run to him, he needs you, there is nothing to think about.

But it's so hard for me.

I know if I just look into his eyes for a second, all the memories and the guilt will come flooding back. But when I hear how he's doing and most of all I know it's my fault, I don't have a choice.

I don't want his boxing career to suffer from this, but most of all I don't want him to suffer.

I think we both have been suffering from this for weeks and I think once we see each other for a little bit we'll be better.

Because I know I want it. No. I need it.

I want his nearness. I want to smell him again. His strong arms around me. I want his beautiful lips to touch mine again and catapult me ​​into another world.

It's up to me now, one visit could change everything. It could make everything better. Or worst case scenario, he hates me and never wants to see me again.

Welp, I wouldn't even blame him.

A short chapter this time, but I did it on purpose🫢

And I wanted to thank y'all for over 1k reads. I'm so incredibly happy and can't wait for us to experience and end this wild journey of Myles and Madellaine together❤️