"Miss, Tsubaki? Are you alright?!" Kagamine Len panickly asked, his eyes looked at the street and then her slumping body alternately.

Rin let out a 'yes' in the middle of her coughing, her hand flew to the tissue box between both of them. She immediately moved the tissue to her mouth and fisted the petals.

"I-I am alright, Mr. Kagamine. I think I am just tired." She said with a hoarse voice, the full of petals tissue was clenched tightly in her left hand as she tried to hide it from his limited sight.

He exhaled a loud sigh, his hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, "I think you worked too much, Miss Tsubaki. I suggest you to have at least a day off." The man said, without noticing the panic look on Rin's face.

"I'll try to rest, sir." She replied and was starting to feel calm until the smell of camellia flower filled the car. Rin felt like something just stirred the inside of her stomach. She felt sick.

Of course, that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde man. He sniffed the air then furrowed his eyebrows, "Don't you think it smells like camellia in here?" His voice was coated with confused tone.

She spoke up with a choked voice, "It's my perfume, sir." Rin lied and closed her eyes, hoping the burning feeling in her chest would go away because it was hurt like a hell.

"I see. Are you really alright? We can stop to buy a medicine. Your voice sounded hoarse." He offered, eyes still focused to the street in front of him.

"Yes, I am alright, Mr. Kagamine. Thank you for offer but I don't need a medicine." Rin rubbed her face with her sweaty hand, the other hand was still clutching the tissue tightly. There was a little bit of satisfaction in herself when she knew that the petals might be crushed under her deadly grip.

Rin finally could control her breathing after the inside of her chest didn't feel like it was on fire and being tied with a strong knot. There was still a little bit of frantic feeling lingered in herself, but slowly, she could feel her heart was adapting into a normal pace.

He didn't see the petals.

He didn't see the petals.

It repeated in Rin's mind like a broken disk. It sounded hypnotizing but it calmed her so much. The bad scenarios were erased from her mind immediately.

The car ride was quiet after that.

---

"You can stop here, sir. It's fine." Rin spoke uo when the car was nearing a familliar looking bus stop. She just needed to walk after that.

Kagamine Len stopped the car and watched her with furrowed her eyebrows as she unbuckled the seat belt. "Miss Tsubaki, I am not sure about this. I can take you to your apartment, my friends won't mind if I am late." He once again offered.

He was still standing firmly with his argument about 'Girls should not walk alone at night'. But Rin knew that neighborhood, she had been living there since the first time she came to this town. It was safe from those who he called as 'People with bad intentions'.

Rin shook her head with a small smile adoring her chapped lips, she certainly needed to drink water after this. "No, sir. I don't want to be a burden," She laughed gently at that and opened the passenger door.

She bowed at him before closing it, "Thank you very much for the ride, Mr. Kagamine. Please be careful on your way." Rin closed the door and walked to the sidewalk. She turned away to bow at the man once again.

The man didn't start to drive until Rin turned at a corner towards her apartment. She finally let out a relieved breath, being watch like that made her feel very anxious. Rin noticed that her left hand was still cluthing the ugly looking, torn tissue.

She opened her stiff hand and grimaced when she felt the little pain on her fingers because of cluthing so hard and tight. Rin watched in disgust as the crushed petals and tissue fell onto the pavement.

Rin once again exhaled a relieved breathe. The atmosphere inside Kagamine Len's car was so intense. If she didn't act quick, the man might know about this frightening disease. Because, who the hell would not be scared when they see someone coughing up flower petals from their mouth?

Heck, if Kagamine Len saw it, he might throw her out from his car, leave her alone and tell her to not get near him ever again.

Rin decided to not remind herself about what happened earlier and quickly walked towards her apartment.

She just wanted to take a shower, cook a spicy tofu soup and dumplings, then cuddle with Panko.

---

The few next days passed quickly. Rin was busy managing her time to work part time jobs and her college. She also had been a busy assistant for Kagamine Len, it was nearing summer break yet the man had so many works to do.

Between the hustle and bustle, she and Kagamine Len had managed to get closer somehow. He had been borrowing the Cafe In The Night's albums he didn't get to listen before from her. Sometimes, they would eat lunch together then go into his office again to continue the work they had left before.

Rin didn't meet Miku that often anymore, both of them were busy studying for the upcoming exam. When they made a promise to meet up, they usually go for a coffee together and talked about what was happening lately in their life. Rin never told Miku about the dinner deal and the struggle she got with Kagamine Len.

Just like that, weekend finally came. Rin had finished her literature class when that familiar buzz came from her pocket. Her smiled widened with she noticed it was Saturday. Like what she expected, the message was from Kagamine Len.

Kagamine Len
I suppose you don't forget about today, Miss Tsubaki?

Me
Of course, Mr. Kagamine.

I had just finished my last class and
I am on my way.

There was no reply after that, but she knew the man was already waiting her in that cafe.

---

Over The Rhone cafe still had the same quiet, comfortable atmosphere when Rin visited that cafe for the second time. She walked in and immediately greeted by the worker there, Rin nodded politely with a gentle smile on her lips. She looked around the room to find where Kagamine Len was sitting- but she didn't see him. She also made sure to check the seats at the cafe's terrace but he was nowhere to be found.

Rin furrowed her eyebrows and decided to check her phone, she opened their chat room only to see that her last message wasn't read by him. That made her even confuse- if he left the cafe, he could just tell her.

When Rin was about to send him another message, the door that headed to the cafe's backyard garden slide open, revealing a familiar looking blonde man with a tired expression as he was staring at his phone with furrowed eyebrows.

"Miss Tsubaki, you're here. Did you wait long?" He asked when their eyes met, a worried tone coating his voice.

Rin shrugged, "No, sir. I have just arrived and I could not find you." She fixed her backpack's strap that was slipping off her shoulder.

"I apologize. I received an important call that I have to take outside. Follow me," He walked to the seat where they had eaten dinner together in that cafe for the first time. The seat near the vinyl collection.

When they finally sat down, Kagamine Len flipped open the menu. Without looking up from it he asked Rin, "What do you want to order, Miss Tsubaki?"

Rin had just realized that she was staring at him. Gosh, that was so embarassing, she hoped no one see her drooling over her crush. Rin immediately looked down at the menu, she cleared her throat, "Er, I'll have the creamy mushroom soup, garlic bread, and mashed potato, please. For the drink I think would go with a coke."

Kagamine Len stared at her and then playfully snorted, "It has been a busy week, huh." He mumbled which only made Rin laugh because she knew the man intended to jokingly offend her big appetite.

"Yes, sir. Especially with all of my part time jobs." She shrugged with a simple smile adorning her lips. It felt so good to know that she didn't need to pay for the food and also, that made everything she would eat two times better.

"I am still surprised that you manage to balance your study with all of those part time jobs you have said." He narrowed her eyes at her before looking down to read the menu again, it seemed like he couldn't choose what to eat. "I guess I will have the same thing you order, Miss Tsubaki." The blonde man sighed loudly as he closed the menu in his hands and called the waiter.

Kagamine Len brought up her part time jobs topic again when the waiter walked away with their order written on his small notebook. Rin didn't seem to understad why the man wanted to talk about it again.

"Miss Tsubaki, may I ask how many part time jobs you need to do in a week?" He linked his hands together and put them under his chin, Rin didn't want to think like this since the man sounded so serious, but damn- Kagamine Len looked so cool doing it.

Rin cleared her throat once again to gain some self-confidence, "It depends actually. I usually work in the same place for one or two weeks then I quit and search another job. The longest part time job I've done is at the bakery." She played with her fingers under the table.

"Why is that, Miss Tsubaki? You don't like the boss?" He stared at her deeply as his fingers drummed against the surface of their table.

"Not like that. I think.. I just like working in a new place. You know, to find another new experiences. But working in the bakery... it always feels different every single day. The workers and my boss there are like my own family. So I never thought about quitting from that place." Rin sighed through her nose and leaned back on her chair, she stared at him, waiting for a reply.

The blonde man hummed in understatement. "That means you have more than three part time jobs in a week, considering that you always apply for a new job?" He connected the strings together.

Their conversation got interrupted when the same waiter came back to their table with the coke they had ordered. Rin decided to spin the straw in her coke, the satisfying sound of ice cubes hitting the glass filled their table. She wanted him to just drop this topic, because Rin didn't like talking about part time jobs with other people except Miku since the leek lover was her best friend.

But of course, Kagamine Len didn't give up. He stared at her with those intimidating blue eyes, his lips pressed into a thin line- that maybe looked normal to some people, but Rin knew the man waited for her to continue and she couldn't pretend like she had forgotten what they were talking about earlier.

Rin continued her talking after she took a few gulps of her coke, "Yes. You can say that. But don't misunderstand this whole thing, sir. My parents also send me some money, but I am against that idea. They need to pay for my little sister's school fee too. I told them a few times that they don't need to send money again, they didn't listen though. So I just saved the money they have sent to me in case they have an emergency or something and use my own money to pay for my college and my other needs." She almost ran out of breath after explaining it.

Kagamine Len blinked a few times, trying to process everything she had just said. He chuckled gently, "That was a lot, Miss Tsubaki. But I am glad that you are comfortable to talk about it with me."

My man, I can talk about EVERYTHING with you.

"Maybe because I have been working with you, sir. I think I am just.. familiar with your presence." She gave him a faint smile, even though deep inside her heart the reason was different.

They continued talking about random things as they wait for their food to come. Rin was surprised because Kagamine Len did most of the talking between them. Both Rin and Kagamine Len were the 'good listener' type of a person. They didn't really start a conversation, they always wait for the other person to talk and they would listen then give their opinion about it. So that was why Rin was surprised when Kagamine Len started to talk much more than the first time when they met.

Their order arrived ten minutes later. Rin was drooling when she smelled the deliciousness coming from the plates in front of her. She hummed pleasantly after tasting the creamy mushroom soup. Then she continued eating her garlic bread and mashed potato, completely unaware about the man in front of her who was staring at sight with an amused smirk adorning his face.

It was when Rin dipped the garlic bread into the creamy mushroom soup she realized his stare. She felt her cheeks warmed up, "Are you not going to eat, Mr. Kagamine?" She noticed the man had not yet touched his cutlery.

He chuckled once again, grabbing the spoon with his right hand and scooped a spoonful of the mushroom soup. "I was just adoring you, Miss Tsubaki." He said truthfully after tasting the soup. She heard him let out the same pleasant hum.

Rin almost dropped her garlic bread, and if she was munching on her food right now, she would probably choke to death upon hearing him. "A-Adoring me, sir?" She said with a tight voice.

Oh, no. This was bad.

She totally didn't want to ruin their dinner with the cursed white camellia petals. She felt the lump crawling through her throat.

He took a bite of his garlic bread, "Yes. What I am trying to say is, you appreciate everything so much. I could say this is a small dinner with a simple menu, yet you manage to make it like it is the greatest thing in the whole world. You appreciate every simple things, and I think that is something I need to learn from you." The blonde man said without looking up from his food.

It might mean nothing to other people. But to Rin, that meant everything. For the first time in her life, she heard someone said that about her. Rin knew she wasn't a good looking girl, popular, or smart. But hearing that about her from other people actually erased all of the negative thoughts she had.

"Thank you, sir. I... You don't know how much that means to me." This time, she gave him a sincere smile, truly feeling touched by his words earlier.

He stopped eating and gazed at her with an an unreadable light dancing in both of his eyes, "You're welcome, Miss Tsubaki."

It went silent after that. The slow jazz music and the sound of people talking softly mixed on the background. Rin spinned her spoon in the mushroom soup a few times, thinking about something that had been disturbing her mind.

Rin knew it was risky for herself to ask about it, she could already feel petals crowding her throat and she was breathing shortly. If she asked about it, in no doubt, she would be coughing up- or worse, throwing up petals in front of Kagamine Len.

But she just wanted to know. She just wanted a clarification. At least she needed an explanation for what happened a few days ago, it was hard for herself since she would always cough up petals every time she remembered it.

After gathering all of the courage she had in herself (which wasn't much since her crush was there), Rin finally asked the man, "Er, sir. I hope you don't mind asking me this.. But.. about what happened a few days ago in your office.." She trailed off, hoping that the man would remember about it since she felt so embarrassed for bringing it up.

He put down his garlic bread onto the plate and raised a questioning eyebrow at her, "What happened?" She internally screamed at that question.

Rin took her time to brace herself. She gulped down her coke before explaining. "When you said... I had a beautiful smile- I mean, I just want to know if it was a joke, because I don't want to get so serious about it.. Haha.." She suddenly felt numb, her mind was clouded.

He scared her more because he didn't say anything for a few seconds that felt like hours.

"Correction; 'have'." He started which invited the confused look on Rin's face.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't use past tense. You still have a beautiful smile." He bluntly said, "And it was not a joke. I want you to take it seriously."

She literally--literally-- stared at him with wide open mouth. It might not look good, but she was so speechless at this point now.

Rin usually didn't like it when people complitmented her too much, like 'you're cute!', 'you have the best laugh!' or 'you're so beautiful!' and everything that had the same energy like those sentences. It just felt.. awkward and--totally--cringy in her opinion.

But--as cliche as it sounds-- it felt different when she heard it from Kagamine Len. She didn't know what happened, she just felt... happiness.

He noticed Rin didn't speak for almost a minute, so he cleared his throat to get her attention. "I apologize, Miss Tsubaki. I think that is uncomfortable for you." The man played looked down at his mashed potato.

"Well, not uncomfortable, but I guess a little bit cringy? It's just.. someone has never told me that before and it's weird when I heard it for the first time. Usually, I find it to be really awkward and, like what I have said, cringy." She replied truthfully as she raised one of her shoulder, staring at him with a doubtful look.

His lips widened into an amused smirk once again, "I don't really understand you, Miss Tsubaki. Most girls love being complimented." The blonde man then continued his eating.

Rin felt her cheeks were getting warmer. "Well, I guess I am just different." She slowly hide her face.

"But I don't want you to feel awkward and cringy when I tell you the truth." He suddenly murmured another ambiguous sentence.

Rin swore she was going to explode because to understand what was the man talking about was like solving a math problem- WHICH she really hated and never bothered to solve anyway.

He sighed loudly, seemed to be a little tired of her not understanding what he was trying to say every time, "I was telling you the truth, Miss Tsubaki. You do have a beautiful smile, I did not say as a joke and I want you to take seriously." The blonde man blurted out, not caring that it would make Rin thump like an insane person and bunch of camellia petals coming out from her mouth.

Rin swore she just gagged, but the man didn't seem to notice it. "Th-Thank you, Mr. Kagamine. I... I will take that complitment seriously." Her voice was tight as she said it.

Kagamine Len seemed to be satisfied with her answer. He nodded with a brief smile on his lips and went back to enjoy his food.

She silently stared at his face. His blue focused blue eyes, the messy blonde bangs that fell right across his forehead, his pale skin, his cute nose, his delicate fingers and his beautiful lips.

Everything. She just loved everything about him.

"Mr. Kagamine," She called with a tiny voice but the man luckily heard her.

"Yes?"

"What if.. a man, says the same thing like what you have said to me every day, every hour, and every seconds to a girl he likes?"

"Then it is different."

"How come, sir? Doesn't that mean he really loves her?"

"But it has lost its special meaning."

"Special meaning?"

"Yes, the man says it just to see the girl happy because of his words. But he will never feel the same feeling like when he says it for the first time to his girl. To me, it just means that he had lost his feeling towards the girl."

He stopped right there to take a deep breath. Then he looked her straight on the eyes without putting any expression on his pale face and said,

"It doesn't mean anything."

Rin felt the pain pierced through her heart. It was just a simple sentence, but Rin felt so hurt by it. She felt the hope she had built repeatedly since the first time shattered into tiny meaningless pieces.

She could feel the tightness in her chest, the lump in her throat, and the burn crawling from the inside of her lungs. The garden bloomed and bloomed and bloomed.

"It doesn't mean anything."

Then what does all of this mean?

What is this between us?

Did you say it with a meaning?

Or without a meaning?

Did you say it with a feeling?

Or without a feeling?

Do you see me with a feeling?

Or without a feeling?

She felt her body moved by itself and she ran to the restroom after muttering a quick apology.

---

[not revised]

WE👏TAKE👏THE👏ANGST👏AND👏DRAMA👏SERIOUSLY👏IN👏THIS👏HOUSE👏

anyway, i want to announce a change in this story. at first i made Rin entered a pharmacy university but i changed that to art. so Rin studies theatre there and len teaches acting.

dont forget to give this chapter a vote and comment! i will see you guys with a new update!

-mochi.