May 1995

Gangnam, Seoul

Jung Hwan

I felt a nudge on my side and turned my head, surprised to find one of my friends from the Air Force Academy darting his head at me. He mouthed something and I shook my head, unable to understand.

"Pay attention!" His words came out through gritted teeth, his smile resembling a grimace.

I nodded sheepishly, looked around. There were many people here today, groups of people and couples everywhere. The restaurant looked no different than it did when it first opened, many years ago.

The first McDonald's in Seoul. In Gangnam of all places. I tried so hard to not come here that day, fully aware of the crowd and the traffic. And yet one call and I came running.

I fixed my gaze on the table, an unwitting smile on my face. Deok Sun had looked so surprised, her eyes bulging out of her face when she realized I was there.

I thought she was alone. Had I known that her two friends were going to be there, I might have said no.

Oh... who was I kidding? I would have shown up anyway just because she asked me to come. It had been worth it to see her look happy that I came through for her, whatever the reason might have been that she called me.

I had liked her so much. I bit my lower lip, focused on the grain of the wood in front of me, trying to distract myself from the predictable tightening in my chest.

It was safe to say that I missed her. More than she will ever know. More than I was even willing to admit.

I heard someone clear their throat and I looked up to see three pairs of eyes looking at me. My friend was scowling, and then apologetically looking across the table, where his girlfriend and his girlfriend's friend sat.

I forced myself to smile at her, surprised when she smiled back shyly. Her hair was smoothed back with a headband, her light brown eyes looking directly at me. She self-consciously smoothed a non-existent stray hair behind an ear and licked her lips.

Her skin was lighter than Deok Sun's. Her hair longer.

I pushed the thought away, tried to convince myself that it had been just a passing thing, though I of all people knew that was a lie. I thought of her constantly, worried about what time she was going home, if she was eating well, sleeping well. It was only natural, I reasoned. Until recently, Deok Sun had been a constant part of my life; of course it made sense that I would compare every woman to her.

I tried to tell myself this as I played with my french fries, picking one up and dipping it into the ketchup before putting it in my mouth.

I realized that in the last few months I really have taken this whole talking to myself very seriously.

"So," Ji Min, my friend's girlfriend said to me, "Yo Han tells me that you were very smart in high school. Yoo Mi here," she continued, "graduated top of her class."

Yoo Mi blushed, averted her gaze. She wrapped and unwrapped her cheeseburger, stealing glances my way.

"Is that right?" I asked, and she, as if amazed that I was speaking to her, nodded enthusiastically. I instantly felt bad once I realized that those were the first words I said to her since I arrived.

My mother would hit me upside the head for treating a woman so disrepectfully. I really should make more of an effort.

When Yo Han asked me if I wanted to go on a double date, I didn't exactly refuse. Bored out of my mind in Sacheon and unwilling to go home to Ssangmundong, I had agreed, not realizing that it would involve a trip to Seoul anyway.

"Where are you studying?" I asked quietly and she quickly chewed what was in her mouth, holding a hand up to me as if to tell me to wait.

"Yah," Yo Han chided. "Were you not listening? They both go to Seoul National University. Yoo Mi-ssi is in her last year studying Economics."

I nodded my head, attempted to look impressed.

"Do you like it?" I asked Yoo Mi, before taking a sip of my drink.

She thought about my question before she responded. "I do," she replied with a small smile. "I've always liked numbers and that and world economy always interested me so..."

I was still figuring out what next to ask when I felt a vibration in my pocket and pulled my pager out. Not recognizing the number but recognizing the area code that was paged to me, I stood up. I am always in fear that something would happen to Hyung or my parents while I was so far away.

"Excuse me for one minute," I said to the people at my table. "I'll be right back."

I weaved through the tables to the nearest payphone. I put the coins in and dialed the number flashing on my pager screen, looking behind me to see Yo Han and the women at the table, talking animatedly, Yoo Mi occasionally looking to where I was and me turning back around quickly.

She was a nice girl. A nice, perfectly acceptable girl. A nice, pretty, perfectly acceptable girl. A nice, smart, pretty, perfectly acceptable girl.

"Hello?" Sun Woo's voice interrupted my reverie.

"Sun Woo-yah," I responded. "It's Jung Hwan. What's up?"

"It's a rare night away from the hospital for me," he said. "So I'm out. Where are you?"

"You know where I am," I answered, the lie falling naturally out of my mouth.

"No, I didn't, that's why I asked, bastard," Sun Woo said, laughing. "I thought I saw your Jeep parked by the McDonald's in Gangnam."

"Why would I be there?" I asked.

"I don't know," Sun Woo said. "That's why I asked."

"Why are you in Gangnam anyway?" I wanted to change the topic, wondering why, of all places, he had to be here.

"Dong Ryong didn't tell you?" He asked. "Deok Sun scored some tickets from her job to a restaurant so we all went."

"Deok Sun did?" I was almost ashamed at how interested I sounded, embarrassed that even now, even after everything, I still did a pretty shitty job of hiding how I felt for her. Not that she ever noticed anyway.

My heart tightened at the memory of her easy, almost relieved willingness to believe that my confession had been a joke.

Even the best liar couldn't have made a lie like that. And I was never a good liar.

"Damn," Sun Woo continued, "I hoped you would be in Seoul." I heard him take a deep breath and when he came back on the phone, his voice was lowered. "When are you coming back?"

"I don't know," I said sincerely. "I don't know when I'll be back." If I'll be back, I wanted to add, but didn't say out loud.

"Yah..." I heard him make a frustrated sound. "You know you can talk to me, right? I know you're tough and you're not exactly the talkative type but I'm here if you need me."

For a second I was tempted. Sun Woo and I have been close since childhood. Maybe even closer than me and Dong Ryong were. Once we told each other everything. I thought it would be that way forever.

Until Taek became his brother and everything changed.

If there was one thing I knew to be true and believed myself, it was that family was everything. Blood, even one only connected by marriage, still runs thicker than water.

Just like Jung Bong Hyung would always take my side whether or not I was right, by default he would have to support Taek. It was just the way it was. I had learned to accept this a long time ago.

"Thanks, Sun Woo-yah," I said lightly, trying to make myself sound brighter, more carefree. "But I'm fine. It's just been really busy here in Sacheon and it's a pain in the ass to go home."

He didn't speak for a few moments and then resignedly, I heard him say 'Okay.'

"I'll call you soon," I said, stopping myself from asking about Deok Sun, even under the guise of friendship.

"Yeah, okay," he replied. "Call me once in a while, will you?"

I made a noncommittal sound and hung up the phone, my mind trying to convince my heart that this was necessary, that this was the only way. I wasn't perfect but I knew that there was one thing I was proud of: that I always did right by my friends... no matter the sacrifice that was asked of me. I may be shit at everything else, but at least, I was consistent in my loyalty.

I shook my head, tried to get my bearings. I had just taken a step out of the phone booth when I looked outside the glass paneled walls of the restaurant.

It was raining.

Deok Sun

I watched as Sun Woo ran towards the phone booth only a couple of minutes since he paged Jung Hwan. I tried to look nonchalant as I drank a sip of beer and wiped my mouth, told myself that I wasn't jealous that Jung Hwan would answer Sun Woo's page and not mine.

Except I hadn't quite gotten around to paging him yet. I wasn't quite sure what to say, even now. I'm still trying to get my head together so that if and when we meet again I would be able to stand in front of him as a calm, rational, adult human being and not as the emotional mess I was sure he remembered me as.

Why is Sun Woo speaking so quietly? I tried to lean closer towards the payphone to catch what he was saying but he turned around and spoke even more softly, if that was possible.

I picked up a piece of chicken from the basket in front of me and took a big bite. Dong Ryong, who was munching on a drumstick in front of me, raised his brows but said nothing. I kept on eating, trying to ignore the fact that Dong Ryong seemed intent on studying me, much like he did that night.

"Why isn't there anyone?" I asked miserably. "I guess I'm a woman who has no right to be loved."

Dong Ryong and I sat on the steps, the night after I found out that Jung Hwan had given my birthday gift to his brother. I thought he liked me, was convinced of it, in fact, so why did he do that?

"Deok Sun-ah," Dong Ryong said.

"Yeah."

"Do you like boiled sweet potatoes or baked sweet potatoes?"

I didn't have to think about my answer. "Boiled sweet potatoes."

"Do you like Lee Moon Sae or Park Nam Jung?"

Again I answered without hesitation. "Lee Moon Sae."

"Me or Taek?"

This was a no brainer. "Taekkie."

He sighed audibly. "How annoying. You hate me?"

I shook my head. "No, but I still like Taek more."

His tone became more careful. "If that's the case, do you like Jung Hwan or Sun Woo?"

What was he getting at? I looked away. "Don't ask questions like that."

After a brief moment of silence, he spoke again. "Deok Sun-ah. How do you feel?" I didn't quite know how to respond. "Instead of people liking you, what is it that you like? You're so clear about the way you like to eat sweet potatoes. Don't you know the type of person that you like? You can like someone without them liking you, right?"

I hadn't known how to answer any of his questions. Maybe because I didn't know the answer, or maybe because I didn't like the answer. I knew I liked Jung Hwan, though. I don't know why I didn't admit to it.

I regret it now. Not saying it when I felt it. Not telling him when I should have.

I looked up when Sun Woo slid back into his seat. "Nope," he said, shaking his head. "He's in Sacheon."

"Of course he is," I said, hating that I sounded so forlorn about a known fact. He's been in Sacheon all this time. "There are many people who drive Jeeps in Seoul."

"I think he may have been out on a date or something," Sun Woo said, grabbing the pitcher of beer and pouring himself some. "He definitely wasn't alone."

I dropped the chicken I was holding loudly onto my plate and blinked at him. He lifted his shoulders and looked at me, as if asking 'what?'

"I think it's great if he's dating," Dong Ryong said, his tone pointed. "I mean he can't be alone forever, right?" Sun Woo nodded his assent. "Our Jung Hwan is smart and funny and if he stopped scowling long enough, he would even be handsome. He has a great job and you know he'll be successful at whatever he does because, well... because he's Jung Hwan."

"That's right." Sun Woo's barely indecipherable words were spoken through a mouthful of chicken and I snatched the drumstick he was holding and slammed it onto his plate in a fit of temper.

"He's not dating," I said. How could he be dating already? I wasn't even dating. He can't be dating. Wasn't it just a few months ago that he was telling me that it's always been me? I thought it went without saying that it would always be me (except, I had to remind myself, he had been joking.) "He can't be dating."

I didn't even realize I had spoken the words out loud until I saw Dong Ryong and Sun Woo looking at me, their chopsticks suspended mid-air.

"Of course he can," Sun Woo said carefully. "He's single, so why not?"

"He can't be dating," I repeated, a lump forming in my throat.

"It's not as if he has anyone waiting for him here so I don't see why he wouldn't be open to it," Dong Ryong commented. "Or does he?"

I said nothing and took such a long gulp of beer that by the time I was done the glass was empty. I stared miserably at my glass and was reaching for the pitcher when Sun Woo's arm shot up and stopped me.

"Deok Sun-ah," he said worriedly. "You know you can't drink. Your sister made me promise her I wouldn't let you go home drunk."

"I need a drink."

Sun Woo and Dong Ryong looked at each other then back at me.

"What's wrong, Deok Sun-ah?" Dong Ryong asked.

I shook my head, as if in doing so I would banish the images of Jung Hwan with another woman, smiling at her like he used to smile at me. Wondering if he would confess the same way. If he'd tell her 'don't go' if she tested him.

He'd probably kiss her, I thought spitefully. We're all grown-ups now and he would definitely kiss her.

"What's wrong, Deok Sun-ah?" I heard someone repeat the question and I took a deep breath. Hesitated. Then thought what the hell... they'll soon find out anyway.

"I like Jung Hwan," I said, then corrected myself. "I love Jung Hwan." I lifted my chin in feigned defiance, as if daring either of them to challenge me.

"What?" They both asked, a little too exaggeratedly, in my opinion, as if they weren't surprised at all. "Since when?" The last question came from Sun Woo, who at least tried to sound a bit more taken aback.

"I liked him since 1989," I admitted. "I loved him I'm sure since then, too, but I didn't realize until a couple of months ago."

They exchanged another glance. "What happened two months ago?" They sounded so funny asking the same exact question at the same time that I probably would have laughed any other time.

But not tonight.

"Taek told me he liked me," I said. Neither of them looked surprised, as if this was something they knew all along.

"And you said no," Sun Woo said.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Because you liked Jung Hwan more?" Dong Ryong asked, his tone somewhat impassive.

"No," I said. "Because I liked Jung Hwan, period. There is no 'more.' I love Taek... we all do, but how I feel for Jung Hwan and how I feel for Taek are completely different things. They're not even related."

There was a tense silence for a few minutes before Dong Ryong started clapping, much to Sun Woo's amusement. "Wow, Deok Sun-ah," Dong Ryong said. "You finally figured out what you wanted."

"You know I'm slow," I mumbled. "And now it's too late."

"No way," Sun Woo said. "You've already done the hard part... the figuring out part. The rest is easy."

"Says the guy dating his first love." I looked him straight in the eyes. "Not everyone has it as easy as you."

"Yah," he responded in all seriousness. "You really think I have it easy? Have you forgotten who I'm dating?" I didn't answer and he continued. "I don't think that it will be as bad as you think it will be, though. Jung Hwan's bound to come home."

"Is he?" I asked and they both nodded. "When? Give me a date."

Neither of them responded to my demand, choosing, instead, to stare at everything else but me.

Two hours later...

Jung Hwan

I stood under the awning, trying to figure out a way to leave without making it look like I was trying to leave. Yo Han and his girlfriend were talking quietly and Yoo Mi stood idly by, looking as awkward as I felt.

"Do you guys want to have a drink?" Ji Min asked. "I know a place not too far from..."

"I can't," I interrupted before she even finished her sentence, earning a glowered from Yo Han. "My mother wants me to go home," I said, by way of explanation, "so I'll be heading out."

"Your mother told you that?" Yo Han asked, his voice skeptical. "When?"

I coughed and cleared my throat. "Just a little while ago. She paged me."

Yo Han frowned at me, as if trying to suss out if I was telling the truth, but didn't say anything else.

"I had a great time," Yoo Mi said, holding out her hand. I reached mine out and shook it gingerly, trying to at least be a gentleman. "I hope I see you again soon."

Her sentiment surprised me... I didn't think I was that good a company. I spoke when I was spoken to, made the appropriate comments to show that I was paying attention. But still... I didn't think I had done enough. I certainly didn't expect that she would actually want to see me again.

I struggled with how to respond until a little voice in my head nagged at me. You have to move on, it said, you have to try.

Surprisingly I found myself nodding. "Sure," I responded. "I'd like that." I turned to Yo Han. "Will you be okay getting back to Sacheon?"

He nodded. "Yeah... I'll crash at a friend's house tonight and take the bus first thing tomorrow."

"Shall we, then?" Ji Min said brightly, taking Yo Han's arm. Both Yoo Mi and he nodded and they took off in the opposite direction. I stayed in the same place, watching them walk away. When they were almost at the end of the block, Yoo Mi turned around and waved.

I lifted my hand and waved back.

Once they were out of sight, my shoulders sagged, my head bowed low. I was so tired all of a sudden. The rain was still falling steadily on the pavement, making the black on the ground look almost translucent.

I looked up and saw that the clouds still looked heavy, as if the rain won't be stopping anytime soon.

I hope Deok Sun has an umbrella. She never knew when to bring the things that actually mattered.

The thought, though not entirely unexpected, still filled me with a bitter taste in my mouth. I hated that my every memory was connected to her, resented that though she felt nothing but friendship for me, my feelings for her had not changed at all.

Those feelings have become so ingrained in me that it seemed I couldn't get rid of them even if I wanted to. Dear God, though, I wanted to.

Perhaps the only thing I despised more than these feelings was my inability to brush them off, as I have been able to do everything else.

I'm going to keep trying. I have to keep trying.

With that thought in mind, I pushed the memories of Deok Sun aside. I ran out from under the awning and made my way towards my car, ready to make the six hour drive back to Sacheon.

Deok Sun

We walked out of the restaurant, the three of us, and were greeted by torrential rain. Sun Woo and Dong Ryong scrambled towards the bus stop, and I stopped to pull my umbrella out of my bag.

And then... a flash of memory. Jung Hwan standing in front of me, an umbrella over my head. I closed my eyes.

Over the last few months I have tried to banish the memories away, convinced that if I did so, the thought of missing him wouldn't quite hurt so much. I tried it so many times but never broke through. I thought it was because I was weak, until I realized it wasn't that at all.

I couldn't erase the memories because I didn't want to. I wanted to savor them, hold them close to me, as close as they could possibly be. I want to imprint them on my skin, evidence of what we could have had. What we could have been. I wanted to keep them with me as long as I possibly could, in a way that I couldn't do with him.

In my mind's eye I saw him as he always looked, all derision and scorn. A sense of humor so dry it was a wonder it could be considered that at all. But also... something else. Kindness and loyalty. Friendship and integrity. All in one person. The one that I love.

I opened my eyes, found myself reaching out a hand, palm upturned towards the rain. I wondered if it was raining where he was. Wondered if the rain made him think of me. Wishing that it did.

I have never wanted anyone to show up with an umbrella in all my life.

October 1995

Jung Hwan

My house telephone number flashed across my pager screen and I put it down, tempted for one second to ignore it. After a long day of physical training and classes, I had no plans for the rest of the day except to take a shower, eat and then sleep.

I looked at the number again and reconsidered, remembering how upset my brother was the last time he called me and I didn't respond. This could very well be him. With a sigh and a shake of my head, I picked up the phone in my room and began to dial.

I could never resist my brother, and he knew it, too.

The voice that answered was definitively not Hyung's, though, but someone else.

"Jung Hwan-ah," I heard Omma say, her voice filled with affection.

"Omma," I said, glancing at my watch. "Is everything okay?"

She didn't usually call me at this time, and certainly not on a Friday, when her afternoons to evenings were spent gossiping with the neighborhood ahjummas then drinking the night away.

She and Appa have been doing the same thing for years. At least, ever since all of us went to university.

"Oh yeah," she said breezily. "I just wanted to hear your voice. Are you eating enough?"

I bit back a laugh. Omma never wanted to know anything except if I was eating. Even now she still hasn't forgotten what it had been like when we were poor and had to scrap all our money just for a decent meal.

I softened. "Yeah, Omma. I'm getting plenty to eat."

"And rest, too?" She asked. "They're not working you too hard, are they?"

"Are you kidding?" I asked. "And mess with Ra Mi Ran?"

I heard her laugh, low and rich, and found myself smiling as well. I adored my mother. I always have since I was a kid. She was an amazing woman. An amazing person.

"Jung Hwan-ah," she said, the laughter disappearing from her voice. "Are you coming home soon?"

I shook my head. I should have expected this question. She never fails to ask the same thing every time we speak. And every single time, I couldn't give her an answer.

"I don't know, Omma," I replied. "Things are crazy around here right now and..."

"Taek's birthday is in a few days," she interrupted. "You guys always celebrate his birthday together." I stopped talking. She wasn't telling me something I didn't already know. "I think you should come home. Things haven't been the same around here, even with your friends."

"How would you know, Omma?" I teased. "Sun Woo is busy in med school and Dong Ryong is busy being Dong Ryong. Taek is playing baduk everywhere, and Deok Sun," I cleared my throat. "Deok Sun is barely home."

"You'd be surprised," she said. "They have all been coming back a lot more often. Bora, too, which you know pleases Il Hwa to no end." My mother's voice faded, as if she was speaking to someone else, but then came back so quickly I couldn't make out what she just said. "But I am telling you... something must have happened among your friends. Deok Sun, especially."

What? I thought, trying to remember if Sun Woo had mentioned anything the last time we spoke. With his residency schedule as hectic as it was, the closest we had gotten to getting together is talking on the phone. And Dong Ryong... didn't mention anything either.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh... you know, just this and that," Omma replied, sounding as vague as one person could possibly be. "Sun Woo's Omma said that Taek rejected Deok Sun so they haven't been talking all that much. Deok Sun's Omma said that things were... dicey."

"WHAT?" My voice came out louder than I had intended and I stood up, unable to believe her words. Taek rejected Deok Sun? Taek... rejected Deok Sun?

"Yes... can you believe that?" Omma continued, oblivious to my surprise. "And Deok Sun, that poor girl," she tsked, "had been sooooo miserable that every time she has a day off she comes home. And you know what she does?"

"No," I said, reminded that I have not had a conversation with Deok Sun since my botched confession.

"She comes over here and hangs out with your Appa," Omma said, clucking her tongue. "As if he needed more encouragement."

I was still stuck on Taek rejecting Deok Sun. Why the hell would he do that?

"And Taek," my mother said, her voice full of censure, "is already dating someone else! Who would have thought that a nice boy like Taek would treat her so badly? And on White Day nonetheless."

I found myself running my fingers through my hair, concern and anger washing over me.

How dare he? How dare he treat Deok Sun like that after I kept my mouth shut? Did he not even realize how much it took out of me to let her go? He was supposed to treat her well. He was supposed to make her happy.

Not make her sad. Dammit!

I knew Taek was a little slow at times, but he's not mean. Had he been I would not have been as conflicted about what to do about my burgeoning feelings for Deok Sun. If I thought he was not a worthy person, I might never have taken a step back.

Dammit, Taek.

I found myself pulling a shirt out of my closet and putting it over my white T-shirt. I grabbed my keys from the side table and was about to walk out the door when I realized I was still holding on to the phone. "Omma, I have to go," I said, my voice distracted. "I'll talk to you later."

"Oh?" She asked. "Okay, then. I guess I'll talk to you so..."

I hung up the call before she could finish. In less than an hour, I was on a plane.

Deok Sun

"I swear," Jung Hwan's Omma complained, hanging up the cordless phone, "the things I do for you people." She glowered at all of us: Taek standing next to her, and Sun Woo, Dong Ryong and myself sitting on the wooden platform outside the gate. "Just so you know, I wouldn't normally lie to my own child, but since it was for the greater good, I suppose I'll let this pass."

She scrutinized each of us before disappearing behind the gate, already calling for my mother. She had been in the middle of setting up some drinks and side dishes when Sun Woo dragged her out.

"I really don't think this is going to work," I moaned, ripping the packaging off the popsicle I picked up on my way home from the bus station.

Sun Woo released a breath. "It was worth a shot anyway. Never thought I'd say this, but I miss that punk's face."

"Me, too," Taek said quietly. "How long has it been since we were all last together like this?"

"One year," I said. I gave Taek a small smile, relieved when he smiled back at me, an image of the old Taek I know and love.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "It's already been a year."

After his confession and my response, things did get a bit awkward for both of us. I wasn't that surprised... I had expected it to. I probably would have been more baffled had they not. But within a couple of months, it was as if nothing had happened.

We didn't speak of it again, not necessarily because we were avoiding the topic, but because there was nothing else to say. My feelings weren't going to change.

The problem with having been friends for so long with people is that you know them so well. My honesty may have seemed cruel at the time Taek was telling me how he felt (God only knows my delivery could have used some help,) but there was no way around it. I was not going to let him misunderstand. That I just happened to have realized how I really felt for Jung Hwan at that moment was beside the point.

I loved Taek, like I loved all my friends. I was protective of him, and I worried about him. A friendship may be based on those two things, but a relationship based on those two things alone wouldn't survive.

Taek needed a woman who will challenge him and not want to coddle him, and I... wanted Jung Hwan.

I pouted and took a huge bite of my popsicle, wishing that the ground would swallow me whole. I wasn't sure which was worse: that I've resorted to lying just to get Jung Hwan home, or that I now trust these bozos to fix up my love life.

Although, why they would even think that telling Jung Hwan that Taek rejected me would do the trick is beyond me. Jung Hwan may have been confessing (in a joke way that hadn't been funny at all- I don't even know how I could have smiled after it), but didn't he already give me up?

"I don't think this is a good idea," I said, feeling suddenly nauseous. I glared at the iced sweet I held in my hands and gingerly put it to the side, my appetite gone. "I don't even know why I agreed to this."

"You know why you agreed," Dong Ryong chided, frowning at me, "You've been miserable for months and I can't stand it anymore."

I looked away, mortified. For the last few months I have really tried to nurture my feelings on my own, wanting to be truly ready when he sees me again. I wanted to be in control, a more impressive woman. I wanted to be as magnanimous as he was. I wanted to be able to say "see, I could like you on my own. And I could even wait!"

I thought I was doing a great job staying positive. Apparently I was not a very good actress.

And now it has come to this. A half assed plan concocted by Dong Ryong (when he was drunk I was sure,) of how to get Jung Hwan to come back home. And I admit it, the idea that there was even a minute chance that he would take the bait made me too weak to say no.

But this... is just crazy. I'm still jetlagged from my last flight. I'm not exactly emotionally stable right now.

To them it was to see their old friend. For me it was a bit more self-serving; I wanted to see him. I wanted to talk to him.

I wanted him here. I wanted him with me.

My thoughts ran the gamut from very mature to elementary, all in the space of one moment. Jung Hwan has always reduced me to this.

"What makes you so sure that it's even going to work?" Sun Woo asked Dong Ryong, his eyes wandering now and again to the pager on his hip. Now that he was dating my sister openly, he was also a lot more open about his frustration at having to wait for her all the time. He was now lying down on the platform, right behind me, the picture of someone who didn't worry at all.

"Jung Hwan is much too smart for this," Taek remarked, looking unimpressed.

"You'll see," Dong Ryong said confidently. "Someone is buying me pizza if he shows up tomorrow, two if he shows up tonight."

"Is my love life only worth a pizza?" I asked, fighting the urge to smack him. "If he doesn't, you're buying me a drink."

"He'll show." Dong Ryong sounded certain. "Man... do you guys not know Jungpal at all?" Sun Woo, Taek and I looked at one another, wondering what he was about to say next. "Do you know why I came up with this strategy?" We all shook our heads no. "Because... There is only one thing that will trump our friend's misguided sense of right and wrong and his inexplicable need to be a martyr."

"What's that?" Sun Woo asked.

Dong Ryong suddenly sat up and gave us a beatific smile. "His instinct to protect."

By the time the night fell, it was just me and Taek outside on the same platform. He sat next to me, as quiet as he always was, his expression calm as he perused the night sky.

"Taek-ah," I said softly.

He turned his head around and looked at me. "Hmm?"

"Thank you for being my friend." I smiled. "Especially after that time."

"What time?" He asked, smiling back, before looking away. "You were one of the first people who made me feel like it's okay to be myself. I think with you, and Jung Hwan and Sun Woo and Dong Ryong... if it wasn't for all you, I still would be alone. I was your friend before I liked you... I was still going to be your friend even if you didn't like me back." He nudged my shoulder with his side. "Just don't be saying stuff to me like, 'you're going to find a good woman. It's not you, it's me.""

I wrinkled my nose. "Who has been telling you this stuff?"

He cocked his head towards his house. "Sun Woo." He chuckled. "He says those are the worst things a man can ever hear from the woman he likes, short of 'let's break up.' He wants to go on double dates with me."

I nodded, impressed. I suppose I always knew that Sun Woo was the best big brother, having seen the way he treated Jin Joo, but seeing that he was the same exact way with Taek only reinforced that thought. "He wants you to learn about dating from him and Unnie?"

Taek began to laugh. "Yeah... He says I'm terrible at this whole dating thing, and that I need to learn to walk before I could run, whatever that means. Though I'm not really sure what I would learn between him and Noona. She likes to order him around."

"He shouldn't take it too personally... Unnie likes to boss everyone around."

"Maybe I need someone like that," he joked. "Someone who will fight with me and stuff."

I raised my eyebrows. "You think so?"

"Yeah," he said with a bashful smile. To this day it still amazes me that Taek looked like an angel, and marveled that though I loved him so much, that it never went beyond friendship. "You always treated me like a baby."

What he said shut me up for a minute, realizing that he was right. "Taek-ah..."

Jung Hwan

I flagged the first cab I saw out of Gimpo International Airport and entered it in a hurry. I gave breathless instructions to the driver to get me directly to our neighborhood in Ssangmundong. When he pulled off the curb, I was beset with a sensation of having done this before.

Not exactly all of this, with the mad dash to the airport, to the hour plane ride to the now fifteen minute cab ride just to check up on Deok Sun. But something like this.

I don't even know what I was thinking when I hopped on that flight... Omma didn't even say that Deok Sun was even home. What, exactly, was my plan if she was not there? For all I knew she was flying out this weekend.

Christ... I ran my fingers through my hair. I once thought myself the most careful of people, but it seems there was still a bit of fight in me left.

I leaned back against the backseat of the cab and watched as the cab driver passed one green stop light after another. The sense of deja vu came back, as if I was back in 1994, right before I confessed. Except a year ago, all the lights had been red. I was caught at every stop, seemingly almost destined not to get to where I needed to be when I needed to be there. At the time I had blamed fate and timing, only to realize that it hadn't been that, but my own hesitations and fears, that had kept me back all this time.

It was so much easier to blame Taek. It was much simpler to say it was because of him.

Except it wasn't the whole truth. Not then, and not now.

My only sin was caring a little too much about my friends, but where was the fault in that? I hesitated all the time because I learned from growing up with my brother that life takes away just as it gives, and that we have to protect ourselves from the inevitability of failure, death and loss. How many times did I think that I would lose Hyung?

Maybe that had been my mistake... that inasmuch as I allowed myself to fully care, I never let those around me do the same for me. And I had paid the price for it. Deok Sun was forever out of my reach.

For the past year I had allowed myself to stew in regret and guilt, and I was tired of it.

If there was something that I realized while I sat on that plane, restless and nervous, wondering how Deok Sun would be when I see her, it was that though I had done a fine job of convincing myself that I was past all this, I, in fact, wasn't. And more importantly, even after a year, I still wasn't ready to let her go. Maybe I will never be able to let her go.

But I could be in her life. In whatever capacity she will allow me to be in it. In whatever role she wanted me to play.

I just needed to know that she was okay.

I just needed to see, with my own eyes, that she was doing fine.

The cab screeched to a stop and I handed the driver a wadful of cash, not even bothering to count it out. With a hasty 'keep the change,' I practically jumped out and made my way towards my parents' and Deok Sun's parents' houses, unsure of who I would find and what I would say. From this distance I could see that someone just closed the door to Sun Woo's Omma's house, but I could see nothing else or no one else.

It wasn't until I was almost in front of the gate that I saw someone standing by the wooden platform, her eyes barely hiding her shock and I slowed down my pace. Her hair, always short in my adolescence, was even longer now than it was even a year ago. Almond shaped dark brown irises blinked under a line of bangs, a delicate hand coming up to touch her neck.

Deok Sun

"Taek-ah..." I was just about to apologize when he interrupted me.

"You shouldn't worry so much about what Jung Hwan will say when he gets here," he reassured me. "I am sure it will be fine. You've liked him for a long time, right?"

I looked down at my feet, covered in slippers, and took hold of the ring under my sweater. I nodded slowly.

"Thank you for not making this between me and him," he said softly. "Though I think I might have had a role in that, though he never called me out on it." He paused and looked at anywhere but me. "He liked you too, you know."

"When?"

"Right around the time you liked him," he answered. "I knew it then but chose to ignore it. I thought that as long as he didn't say the words out loud, then it wasn't real. As long as he didn't ask me to give you up, then I wasn't hurting him." He breathed a heavy sigh. "I made some mistakes, too. I guess this was my way of making it up to him."

I shook my head in disbelief. "By pissing him off?"

"By getting him home.'

The sound of a fast approaching car had us both turning around, and before I knew it, the sound of a car door slamming followed. Taek stood up, his face brightening, before he wrapped an arm around me and engulfed me in an embrace before I could ask what was going on.

"Deok Sun-ah," he said, his voice rich with laughter and relief. "We owe Dong Ryong two pizzas."

Before I knew it, Taek had disappeared around the gate that would lead to his and Sun Woo's house, and I was left standing on my own. I turned around, not quite getting what he had been talking about, until I lifted my gaze and a pair of brown eyes caught mine. I felt the tears form behind my lids and I closed them, wondering if this was just a dream. If I had dreamt him back into my life. If he really wasn't standing in front of me. I grabbed hold of the heavy ring that anchored my necklace, the weight bringing me back to the present and to what was real.

Afraid to find out that I was once again only daydreaming, I opened my eyes slowly, only to see Jung Hwan walking towards me, his hair standing on all ends, as if all he's been running his fingers through it many times. And then something that made me even more confused... this supposedly real version of Jung Hwan was wearing a pink shirt, one that looked remarkably like the shirt I had given him almost six years ago. Except it was wrinkled. As if he wore it all the time. As if it was the first thing he had grabbed.

But how is he here? I thought. He was in Sacheon.

Unless Dong Ryong was right. If I hadn't been in such shock I might have laughed. Maybe Dong Ryong really was a genius.

Almost afraid to break the moment, I stayed silent, just letting myself watch Jung Hwan as he came slowly towards me, his normally even expression fraught with concern. His eyebrows narrowed, his pretty eyes zeroed in on my face once he was almost close enough for me to touch. I had to put my hands in my pockets just to keep them from reaching for him, reducing me back to my teenage years when I thought up of every excuse to touch him, and before he could even utter one word. I studied his face once he was standing over me, his eyes searching mine. A perfectly sized nose sat in between high cheekbones, his strong jaw tense. His upper teeth latched onto a generous lower lip, as if he was unsure of what to say.

"Deok Sun-ah." My name fell out of his lips slowly, almost reverently. Was this always how he said my name? How could I not have known?

"Mmm?" I answered, trying to muster up a smile.

"Are you okay?" he asked hesitantly, his eyes never leaving mine. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I didn't even come for your birthday this year, but..." He cleared his throat. "You are, right?"

"I'm what?" I could barely ask. All I wanted to do was fling myself into his arms and ask him to speak later.

"Okay?" It seemed as if the answer really mattered and I nodded.

"Yeah, Jung Hwan-ah," I said. "I'm good."

He nodded too, almost sheepishly, as if just now realizing that after all the time he had stayed away, he came back for some reason that apparently didn't pass muster to himself, and looking less put together than the Jung Hwan I always knew.

"Okay," he said quietly and walked towards the gate that housed both of our parents' homes. "Are you coming in?"

It was so reminiscent of how Jung Hwan used to always be... always retreating, always walking away. Almost instantly, the sight of his back made me angrier than I have been all year. It was almost as if all my tears and all the waiting and all the frustration melded together and all I could think about was hell, no. He is not going to do this again.

"Wait," I called out. "Was that it?"

I crossed my arms over my chest defensively and stood in place until he turned around. As if just now realizing that I must still be talking to him, he turned back around and looked at me, a question in his eyes.

"Was that what?" he asked. He was back to sounding like the Jung Hwan that I always knew and I gasped, incredulous.

"You..." I started, trying to lower my voice, aware that all of our families and friends lived on this one block. "You stay away for a whole year, and that's all you have to say? One year without me, and that's really all you've got. Wow, Jung Hwan-ah. I didn't expect much and maybe I still expected too much."

I didn't really mean what I was saying. I knew this even as the words flew out of my lips, just like they always used to do whenever I argued with my older sister. It's almost as if once a switch has been turned on, it would take almost an act of God to shut me up before I start saying things I knew I would regret.

He remained stone faced, almost expressionless, the way he had always been, and it did nothing but make me even more upset. I would have thought him completely unaffected and indifferent, had I not seen the clenching and unclenching of his jaw, an angry tic starting on one of his cheekbones.

"Where did you get that shirt?" I asked, and he didn't respond. Not that his silence surprised me much. Since it didn't seem as if he would actually reply, I decided to just keep asking questions. Surely he would feel compelled to answer at least one. "Did you even miss me? Or any of us?"

Again, nothing.

I took a deep breath and he remained impassive, his eyes firmly on me. Had I been sixteen years old I might have tried to figure out the expression behind them, but frankly, I was tired of this shit. I wanted to just get everything out in the open, so that if what I need to do was move on, then that's what I'll be able to do, knowing I've done my best.

"What have you been doing in Sacheon?" I asked. By this point, I wasn't even expecting him to respond at all anymore. "Did you date? Were you happy?" I began to pace in front of him, filled with a nervous energy I couldn't quite control. I stopped, addressed him. "Were you really joking when you told me you liked me?"

I was about to release a gasp of frustration when he finally answered. "Does it even matter now?"

I glowered at him. "It does to me."

"Why?" he asked. "It never did before."

"Oh no," I retorted, shaking my head. "You don't get to throw that back at me. You don't get to play the role of someone that's been wronged. You didn't even give me a chance to respond. You can't just drop a bombshell like that and then be upset that I didn't quite know the right thing to say. And then... You didn't even give me a chance to process my thoughts before you were like... 'just kidding!' You can't go around confessing and then taking it back. It was cruel, and mean, and you know what? It was not funny. And you know what's even more unfunny? The fact that you left before I could even talk to you. Like we weren't friends at all."

He blinked at me, a sort of admiration in his gaze? My anger must be making me delusional. Bolstered by the fact that he was finally standing in front of me, I just kept on rambling on.

"For your information," I said, "I liked you too! In high school, I liked you so much I made myself sick. You think I just happened to be in the same empty bus with you at like half past five in the morning? Jung Hwan-ah... you're smart. Why the hell would anyone be with anyone on a bus before the sun is even out? In case you need it spelled out, I woke up early to be with you. And you know what? I WANTED you to come to that concert. I wanted it so badly I dreamt that you actually said you'd go. You know how happy it made me to see you smile? It was sickening how happy what one of your smiles did to me. I would have done just about anything to keep you smiling and laughing. So no... you don't get to play the role of the boy with the unrequited love, okay?!? Your love was requited. It was reciprocated." I took a deep breath. "Do you still have nothing to say?" I waited for him to have any kind of response, and resisted the urge to strangle him when he did not. "You are so frustrating!"

He was looking at me like what I had just told him shocked him, as if he really didn't realize that I felt the same way. Seeing that as my chance to close the gap between us, maybe take him by surprise even, I took a step towards him and he took a step back, his eyes wary, as if he was afraid I was lying, or worse yet, that I couldn't possibly mean it.

"You're...joking, right?" He asked, his eyes shuttered now, as if he was blocking them back away from me. "This is a joke. Your pride was hurt when I joked about it a year ago. This is my payback, right?"

Jung Hwan

She had to be kidding. It can't possibly be the truth.

In high school she liked Sun Woo, and then she liked Taek. It was never me. It still wasn't.

Wasn't it just a year ago that she eagerly anticipated Taek's arrival? Was it not just a little while ago that she was heartbroken from his rejection?

"You're... joking, right?" I asked, almost ashamed of how vulnerable I sounded. I tried to keep my expression flat as I looked at her. "This... is a joke. Your pride was hurt when I joked about it a year ago. This is my payback, right?"

She shook her head, and her hair, loose behind her, flew every which way. "No," she said. "How can this be payback when my pride wasn't hurt? This," she said, bringing a hand up to the left side of her chest, "this hurt. It hurt a lot." A whisper of a smile, a sad one, formed on her lips. "And I'm not joking. Once upon a time we were friends. You know that I only tell the truth. I... am not like you. I don't, and I can't joke about things like that. I don't know how to hide how I feel. I'm not like my sister, who can compartmentalize. Right now I wish I was... or else I wouldn't be making a fool of myself in front of you."

I shook my head. "No," I said, more to myself than to her. "You're perfect just the way you are."

"You're not allowed to say those things to me," she said, her eyes burning. "You can't say things Iike that and then give me nothing else." She looked away. "Anyway, arguing about this is futile. Really, as much as I would like to know, it doesn't really make that much of a difference whether you like me or not. I have already made my choice."

Nothing, I guess, can ever really prepare anyone for the woman they love confessing about loving someone else. Maybe it would not have been so bad had I been faultless, but this moment felt like a rehash of what happened last year, except now I don't get to be the one to bow out of the situation, pretending that I was barely unscathed. As soon as the words come out of her mouth, they will be the truth. They will be real. They will take shape and take hold, bear a life unto themselves. Once she tells me once and for all who it is that she loves, it really will be over for me. Whether or not I liked it. Whether or not it was fair.

I didn't know which hurt more... the idea that maybe once, she did like me like that and I didn't realize, or the fact that even though Taek did not like her, she was still willing to take that chance on him.

"I..." she said, her voice breaking. "I choose you."

I blinked at her, unable to believe what I was hearing. I almost found it laughable had it not been so painful, that I might get this chance, even though I was only her second choice. Even worse yet was that I might have found a way to be okay with that.

"It's because Taek rejected you, right?" I asked and if looks could kill, I would have been slaughtered. Right here on this spot.

"Why do you keep bringing Taek's name up?" She asked. "You're the one who keeps talking about him. And you're supposed to be a smart guy. No."

"The only way you'd choose me over Taek is if he didn't feel the same wa..."

"You still don't get it," Deok Sun said, resignation coming over her face. "I didn't choose you over Taek, you idiot. I choose you over.... everyone."

I could only stare at her as her words finally took hold, my heart latching on to what she said. Was it true? I wanted to believe it.

"It probably might have been easier if it had been Taek," she continued, almost wistfully. "It probably would have been more comfortable. I'm a simple girl." She stopped and licked her lips, her hand touching her neck, much like they did when I first walked up to her, as if holding on to something there for reassurance. Or for courage. "I could probably have spent my life being with Taek, knowing exactly what to expect. There would be familiarity, and friendship. I would have been content, and safe." She shrugged her shoulders then looked at me directly. "But what can I do? I... love you."

She released a breath, as if she didn't just say something that changed my world completely. "I really wanted to wait it out, you know. To make us even. I wanted to be able to say that I held it in just as long as you did, so that maybe, you would take me seriously. I would ask you how you feel about me, except I realized that it didn't even really matter. I could go on loving you on my own even if you don't love me back. But I'll continue hoping, because I think you're worth that chance. And if you never do, then maybe, I'll get over it eventually. Just like you did." She gave me another sad smile. "You know what the difference is, though?"

"What?" I almost had to force the word out, the idea of her getting over me just as I was finding out that she loved me in the first place bringing on an ache in my chest.

"You'll get to live your life knowing that I did love you. That I do love you. I don't even get to have that." She brushed a careless hand over her cheek and I realized that she was crying. "When you look back on this, Jung Hwan-ah, remember this. You're the one who didn't believe in me. You're the one who didn't give me a chance."

Maybe it was the sight of her tears, or maybe it was the resignation in her voice... but something finally broke through. It felt as if my eyes had finally been opened, and the first thing I saw was Deok Sun, her heart laid out in the open, without pride or shame.

I realized two things, all in one moment. The first was that the woman I loved was much more courageous than I was, that she always had been. And the second was that this was the moment. The one that would seal my fate, though I could argue that it had been decided the moment I fell in love with her.

"So," she said softly, "I'm going to ask you again. And this time will be the last time. Whatever answer you give me, I will take as the truth." She took a long, deep breath. "Do you love me?"

Deok Sun

"So," I said, feeling raw and spent, exhausted now, my heart in my throat. "I'm going to ask you again. And this time I'll take your answer as the truth." I paused, took one last reassuring breath. "Do you love me?"

I felt vulnerable standing in front of him, with nowhere to hide. I've said everything I wanted to say. Everything I needed to say. The rest is up to him, now.

I looked at his handsome face and could almost see the wheels turning, that brilliant mind of his weighing his choices, considering the possibilities. My careful Jung Hwan. My logical, sensible, cool-headed friend. The man my heart beats for. It seemed only fitting that it would be him that I would love, the perfect opposite to my impulse and carelessness. No matter what happens now, there will never be another like him. Not for me. Not ever.

"Deok Sun-ah," he said, his voice almost a whisper.

"Hmm?" He appeared as if he was being careful what to say next. His silence made me impatient. "I swear to God, Kim Jung Hwan. If you're just working up the courage to tell me another lie, I'm going to ex..."

"I've always loved you." He said the words quickly, as if he couldn't get them out fast enough. "I still love you. I never stopped."

Finally, I thought. Finally.

Joy bloomed in my chest, making me almost giddy, and he... looked as if he couldn't believe what he was saying himself. I almost laughed. His mouth broke out in a wary smile, a weary smile, and I felt my heart squeeze, wondering how hard it must have been for him all these years, when I only had a year and it was torture.

I took a step towards him and he watched me wordlessly, the intensity in his eyes something I don't think I would ever get used to.

"Did you hear me?" He asked.

"Of course I did," I said, when I was finally in front of him. "You just said you loved me."

"Okay..."

I cocked my head to one side. "I already said I loved you, so I guess, that's... good news?" I took another step towards him until we were only inches apart and looked up at his face. I threw my arms around his neck and he stiffened in surprise before taking a step backwards.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"What we should have done a long time ago." I tsked at him before puckering my lips for a kiss.

"But we're right in the middle of the street."

"So?" I asked. "Dong Ryong was the one who came up with the plan to get you here. I can pretty much bet that everyone's been listening anyway. And besides," I added, "everyone already knows I like you. But if it'll make you feel better I can go to my house and tell my parents and then your house to tell your parents, and then everyone's houses..."

I was still speaking when he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, a strong arm sweeping behind my back. My arms tightened around him as he pulled away, his eyes closed. I watched as they opened and looked at me, love practically pouring from his gaze. It made my throat tighten, and I found myself tracing his jaw with a finger, amazed that this strong, kind, wonderful man loved me back.

"I love you," he whispered and I smiled.

"Me, too." I pulled his head down until our noses were touching. "This is my first real kiss and I want to enjoy it."

He frowned. "Your first real kiss?" He sounded strangely disturbed by this and I wondered if I'd said too much. "So you've been having a lot of not real kisses?"

"What?" I asked, feigning innocence. "Have you?"

"No."

"I don't believe that," I said, pulling him down. "But that doesn't matter now anyway, what matters is..."

"Who have you been kissing?"

"Really, Jung Hwan-ah?" He scowled at me and I softened, my heart filling with such love I didn't know what to do with myself. His eyes locked on something on my neck and I held a breath as a tentative finger traced my chain, lifting it off my skin until his ring came into view.

"Is this..."

"Yeah," I said, watching as his eyes melted into pools of warm chocolate. "You said it was mine so I went back for it. You can't have it back."

"I don't want it back," he said. "This ring represented everything I worked hard for, you know. My past. My future."

I ran a tender hand over his forehead, and down over his cheeks. "So what do you think?" I asked, "does your future look good on me?"

He smiled. "It looks perfect."

Mi Ran

"Mi Ran-ah," Il Hwa said as she opened another bottle of soju, "do you think we should close the windows?"

The sounds of Deok Sun and Jung Hwan's voices were still drifting into the house, as it has the whole time I realized that my son had come home.

I shook my head and picked up a seafood pancake with my chopsticks, dunking it into the gochujang before putting it in my mouth. "No," I said, chewing. "Leave it open. It doesn't sound like they care if anyone hears them anyway. Well, at least Deok Sun doesn't sound like she cares all that much." I chewed on a piece of dried squid. "I've always liked that girl. It took her a while to find her footing, but man... she's got balls."

"As if you'd say you didn't like her with her Omma here and her being the person your son loves and all." Seon Young's eyes were laughing as she took the shot that Il Hwa poured and downed it in one go. "Did you know Deok Sun liked Jung Hwan?"

The question was directed at Il Hwa, and she nodded. "You know my younger daughter... she doesn't really know how to hide her feelings. If she's happy, the world knows it, and if she's sad... well, the world knows that, too."

"And you," Seon Yeong continued, "Did you know?"

"Absolutely." The bald faced lie rolled off my tongue. My son was impossible to read most days, even more so when he's actively trying to hide something.

"Young love, huh?" Il Hwa remarked. "I feel like I've been through a roller coaster listening to them."

I nodded. "When you're young everything feels so extreme and so urgent. You remember how that felt, right?"

"That's right," Sun Young answered.

"But, Mi Ran-ah," Deok Sun's mother said, her voice careful. "Are you sure they will be okay? They can't seem to stop fighting and arguing."

"Let me tell you something, Deok Sun's Omma, silence is my son's default mode," I said. "Getting two words out of him is so difficult sometimes. Deok Sun is perfect for him. She'll keep him arguing and bickering. She'll keep him talking. He needs that. Left to his own devices, he would just stay quiet all the time. She'll keep him on his toes and not take his shit."

"That's true," Sun Woo's Omma agreed. "Everyone needs someone who's a little different from them. Life would be boring otherwise."

"So," Il Hwa said, "I guess that's one more thing the psychic was wrong about. Jung Hwan won't be on his own."

"No, Il Hwa-yah," Sun Young said. "I think she said he'll do fine on his own. Not that he would be on his own."

"I'm sure he would have been okay on his own," I said. "I never worried much about Jung Hwan. But why should he be? My son deserves love. And now he has it."

Il Hwa shushed us, as if listening, before releasing a sigh of relief. "I think they're finally done fighting. They're quiet now."

"Maybe they've killed each other," I deadpanned and both women started giggling. "Or maybe," I lifted one shoulder delicately, "they're just doing what young people do when they're in love."

Both women nodded and I poured another round of shots.

"Should we make a toast?" Seon Young asked as she lifted her glass. "To family?"

Il Hwa and I shared a smile as we lifted our own glasses. "To family," we both said.

"And friendship," Il Hwa added and I gave her a silent nod.

"And love," Sun Young piped up.

"Okay, okay," I finally said, touching my glass to theirs one more time and drinking the soju. "Enough. If we toast to everything we'll be drinking all night."

"Isn't that what we always do anyway?" Il Hwa asked.

"You're right," I answered, wrapping my arms around both women. "You're right."