三十一
memories

Ever since Itachi had rescued the Fragrance from Orochimaru's captivity, he had been distracting himself with gathering information on Danzo's motives and Sasuke's well-being. They were the best ways to distract himself from that troublesome little thing.

But vainly, that didn't seem to last very long when he was forced out of his room due to aggravating commotions in the living room. When he made his way there, he spotted that every Akatsuki member was present, including the Fragrance.

They all stood in a circle, blocking him from viewing what shocked them. The Fragrance in particular was shaking from head to toes, her face was completely agitated, and her breathing was rugged.

As Itachi was about to walk over, the Fragrance turned away from the crowd, a twisted expression etched across her face. She pushed past everyone and even past him without waving at him like she normally would.

Itachi raised his brows slightly as he calmly walked over to the crowd. Right in the middle of the commotion was Deidara who was completely battered. One of his arms was severed off and blood dripped onto the waxed wooden floor. Right beside Deidara was Sasori, except it was only his exterior puppet.

There was a layer of tears in Deidara's eyes, but he furrowed his brows to remain tough. Itachi instantly knew that, to his condolences, Sasori had faced his demise.

He glanced at the broken puppet once more and then at the Fragrance's room at the end of the corridor. The door was wide open as if she had rushed in there with reckless haste.

He sighed as he, almost instinctively, tore himself from the crowd and headed towards her. He knew that a sensitive woman like her probably could not accept the death of even an acquaintance she barely knew. Like how, she would shed a gallon of tears just because he had a shallow stab wound on him, Sasori's death would break her.

How helplessly miserable she was. Thus, he decided he would check on her to make sure she didn't do anything stupid.

He walked into her open room and spotted her sitting behind her bed, hugging onto her knees.

He crouched to her level, feeling utterly uncomfortable seeing her broken like that. "Fragrance," he called. "You barely know Sasori, why are you so helplessly sad?"

She probed her head up at him, and to his surprise, she wasn't crying. Only a layer of tears lingered in her eyes.

Her brows scrunched up in pain as she tore her gaze away from him. "I'm not sad. I'm just frustrated," she spoke, her voice sounding like a soft whimper.

"Frustrated?"

She briskly wiped away any signs of tears with her palms. "I have always thought I could defy destiny. But the truth is, I can't do anything. His death just slaps me in the face that I really can't do anything. Even though I know how everyone will die, I can only just watch them walk straight to death." She sniffled as she tilted her head back. "I just feel like it's all my fault."

Itachi let her words sink into the silence as he tried to think of something to say that wouldn't worsen the situation like it normally would. He was tempted to give her some philosophical lecture, but he immediately pushed that thought out of his head.

And as he looked at her, he was reminded of himself, his foolish past self. He was once just like her, wavering to emotions as he witnessed a war first hand at four and seeing comrades after comrades fallen. But through the years, he had become numb to death.

But as for her? She was still inexperienced of the world. She had yet to come to embrace that time wouldn't stop even if everyone in the world were to perish. She had yet to achieve zen with the true painful and worldly nature of life.

He watched her hug onto her knees, her eyes filling with fresh and pure sadness. She seemed to be struggling hard not to cry. A layer of tears welled in her eyes and once she blinked, tears fell down her cheeks and a sharp breath left his lips.

"Don't cry." His words tumbled out, tender and warm, surprising even himself.

She wiped her eyes against her knees. "I can't help it."

His brows furrowed, hating how she was in tears every time he saw her. And he wished she would smile more. He knew he once told her he didn't like her smile, but to tell the truth, that wasn't far from a lie. He did like her smile. It was sweet and innocent.

He lowered his voice as he tore his gaze away. "Then would letting it out make you feel better?"

She looked up, her tears wavered in her eyes. She sank her teeth into her quivering lips as she nodded.

He let out a soft breath and stood up. "Alright. Then let it out. I'll leave you to have the time to yourself," he told her as he glanced towards the ceiling, weary. "Don't dwell too much on things you cannot change. It would do you no good to ever blame yourself," he spoke, giving his last attempt to find words of consolation. And with that, he turned to leave her.

But before he could make his way out, she instantly shot up from where she sat as she grabbed onto the edge of his sleeve. She tugged him back, her gaze lowering.

He let out a sigh. "What is it?"

She clenched her fists onto his cloth. "Can you. . ." Her voice tumbled out, her brows drawing together. "Just for a second. Please. . ." She murmured, her voice feeble and on the verge of crumbling down.

And although she didn't say what she wanted, Itachi understood from the look in her eyes. He dropped his gaze, his jaw clenching in hesitation. But when he glanced at her eyes, he found himself surrendering as he reached for her. He placed his hand at the back of her head as he stiffly pulled her towards him. "Just this one time, understand?" he breathed out as he awkwardly held her.

She sniffled as she laid her forehead against his chest, blinking down her tears. She nodded as she sobbed softly, her warm breathing flushed against his chest and her tears stained his shirt. The silence engulfed them as he rubbed her back to ease her faint cry.

He didn't like the feeling of being intimate with her, but he found himself relaxing the more she stayed in his embrace. It was just a harmless act of comfort and neither of them should think much of it.

The Fragrance sniffled as she buried her face into his chest. "In the end, just like Sasori, you will leave too," she muffled almost inaudibly.

His eyes grew sombre as he looked down at her. "But I'm still here, aren't I?"

She closed her eyes. "I just don't want that day to come."

"I know," he cooed as he stroked her hair. "But you understand it's merely inevitable, right? Me and even you, we both will leave; life is not eternal."

A painful laugh scraped out of her throat. "That's exactly what Sasori told me."

"Is it? But did he also tell you what is eternal?"

She shook her head.

"Memories," he muttered as his face softened. "It will always be there with you."

At his words, her breath hitched as she probed her head up at him. Her round eyes wavered before they morphed into acceptance. She pressed her lips into a sad frown as she closed her eyes. They both lapsed off into silence and only the soft sound of their breath could be heard.

And as she stayed within his arms, for an injustificable reason, he found himself truly worried for her. She was not much younger than him, but she still had a lot to learn. He wouldn't always be there to give her emotional support nor protect her. There would ultimately be a day he would face the same fate Sasori did.

It was strange to feel a rush of pain when he thought of how she would react if he were not there anymore. And it pained him even more to think that he could not - and was never in the place to - cherish her happiness.

His face darkened as he shook off the fleeting feeling that overcame him.

It didn't matter. Eventually, she would have to learn to accept the cruelty of this world.

*

𝐹𝑅𝐴𝐺𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸
うちはイタチ