⚠️WARNING: There is talk of suicide in this chapter. If you are triggered, don't read anything in italics!⚠️

"Choa! I'm home! Finally, it was a long practice..." Minho yelled into the apartment when he got home. Everything was quiet, too quiet. He made his way through the apartment looking for her, but that was when he noticed the bathroom door was closed and the light was on. Usually she'd at least acknowledge he was home and say hi. He knocked on the door quietly at first "Choa?" He asked through the door, no answer. He knocked again but louder this time, still no answer. He knew she hadn't been herself lately, but she didn't seem like she'd do anything to hurt herself. His mind was racing as he backed up and threw his shoulder into the door a few times breaking it open.

He was too late. She was in the tub with her arms over the sides, she'd bled so much that the wounds on her wrists weren't even bleeding anymore. "No no no, Choa!" He yelled as he ran to the tub and tried to wake her up. "Choa baby! Wake up!" He screamed as tears rolled down his face. "Baby, please wake up!" He knew she was gone, she was cold and her lips were blue. He was covered in her blood by the time the paramedics came and took her away. He had begged them to bring her back, but she was already too far gone. There was no bringing her back. After everyone left he sat on the floor of the bathroom with his knees pulled into his chest and cried.

Duri woke up suddenly to the sound of Minho screaming in his sleep. She sat up and suddenly got out of bed and ran to his room. She quickly pushed through the double doors and saw him tossing and turning, kicking and yelling out in his sleep. She shook his shoulder until he sat up straight gasping for air. Tears were all over his face and he was sweating. He looked like he was in that odd space between asleep and awake.

"Are you ok?" She asked him as he slowly looked over at her.

"Get out" He said wiping his face. Confused Dori stood there eyeing him. "GET. OUT." He said louder between gritted teeth.

"Minho..." She started, but he didn't want her to seem him like this.

"GET OUT!" he yelled this time. He saw Duri flinch from the tone of his voice before she ran from the room. He knew he'd have some explaining and apologizing to do later, but this was a dark part of himself that he kept well hidden from the world. He wasn't ready to talk about that with her yet. 

He hadn't dreamt of Choa in over a year. Finding her the way he did was something that fundamentaly changed him. He'd taken a year of therapy to help him deal with her loss. He didn't know what caused the nightmare, but he was hoping that this didn't mean he'd be having the same dream every single night. When it first happened he stayed awake for three days straight, just to avoid dreaming about it and reliving it. Eventually, his mother had talked him into sleeping when he couldn't even walk in a straight line. Even now, ten minutes later, his heart was still racing and he could still hear his pulse in his ears. He took a few deep breaths before finally laying back down. The look on Duri's face was burned into his brain. He wanted to just go to her room right now and hug her and tell her he was sorry, but he had a feeling she probably wouldn't care.

Duri ran back to her room instantly regretting going in there in the first place. His entire face told her that something was really wrong. No matter how hard she tried to tell herself it probably wasn't her he was mad at, she couldn't help but take it personally. She got back in bed and tried to convince herself not to cry, but the tears came anyway. Just when she thought that she'd cracked through his shell, this happened. All the times she'd seen him smile over the last month flashed through her head. She pulled her blankets up under her chin and rolled over hoping sleep would come sooner rather then later.

***

The next morning Minho went downstairs a little early hoping to apologize to Duri for the night before. When he got downstairs her usual seat at the counter was empty.

"Duri hasn't come down yet?" He asked Jae as she sat there alone eating her breakfast.

"No. I went up to her room to tell her breakfast was ready, but I guess she's still asleep."

"She's not." Minho said frowning as he sat down to eat.

"What did you do, Minho?" Jae accused as she pointed her chopsticks at him. "I thought you two were getting along?"

"We are...were...I don't know." He said putting his face in his hands. "I yelled at her last night. My nightmares decided to make a comeback, the ones about Choa....She came in to make sure I was ok and I yelled at her. It was just a gut reaction, but we kissed last night and ---"

"YOU WHAT?!" Jae said a huge smile creeping across her face.

"It doesn't matter now, Jae. I screwed it all up like I always do." He shook his head and stared down at his plate. "I can guarantee that's why she's still upstairs."

"Minho, go apologize to the girl."

"I want to, I just...I-I don't think she'll talk to me." He said still sadly looking down.

"You're going to have to tell her eventually. Choa was a huge part of your life." she said getting up and hugging him. He groaned in frustration.

"Jae, I don't know how to do this. I really think I'm falling for her and the last time that happened....she doesn't even remember the things I did in the first two months of this. I was horrible to her. I brought girls home just to piss her off. How do I tell her that without losing her? Cause if I don't and she remembers she'll definitely never forgive me for lying to her."

"You'll figure it out, sweetie. If you really care about her, you'll find a way to tell her." That was when they both heard a loud sniff from behind them.

"You did what?" They both whirled around and saw Duri standing there crying.