Louis had spent so long trying to fix himself, but as soon as those words escaped his lips, he felt free. He felt ten times lighter, and he was ready to float across the room to talk to Harry.

Eleanor huffed loudly and stormed off toward her friends, leaving Louis to go talk to the person he really wanted (and needed) to talk to. He pushed his way through the crowd, gaze never leaving Harry's curly head.

As soon as he reached the younger boy, he snaked his arm around Harry's waist. Harry's body tensed at the second unfamiliar encounter of the night, but his face lit up when he realized it was Louis. It seemed that the alcohol had helped him to forget their fight just hours before.

"Louis!" Harry squealed, throwing his arms around the older boy. Louis held him up easily, despite Harry putting almost all of his weight on the shorter boy.

"Harry," Louis replied, smiling widely but much more calmly than the curly haired boy.

Niall and Liam exchanged a confused look, glancing between each other and the scene in front of them. Niall leaned closer to Liam's ear, muttering, "Since when are they talking again?"

Liam shrugged, keeping a smile plastered on his face. "Let's just go with it."

"I'm so glad you're here," Harry exclaimed, breaking the uncomfortable silence without even noticing it. "We're having so much fun, right, lads?"

"Yeah, so much fun," Niall agreed, giving Harry an enthusiastic thumbs up and a supportive nod.

"Haz, can we go somewhere and talk?" Louis asked quietly, grip on Harry's waist tightening slightly as Harry attempted to dance to the music. Louis needed Harry's attention right now.

"I want to dance," Harry pouted. His eyes lit up again as he glanced back at Louis, adding, "I'd rather talk to you, though."

"Alright, let's go, love," he replied, happiness and anticipation rushing through him. "We'll be back soon," he said to Liam and Niall, guiding Harry carefully through the crowd.

"Take good care of him, please!" Liam called after them, a worried expression already forming on his face. "How did Harry get so wasted from like two drinks?"

"A fucking lightweight," Niall laughed, rolling his eyes and grabbing another beer. "Come on, there's still a party going on." Liam simply shook his head, glance once more at Louis and Harry as they made their way toward the stairs. He had a bad feeling about this, but he wasn't going to ruin their moment over a ridiculous superstition. They were meant to be together -- everyone besides them had seen it from the moment they met for the first time.

With his hand on Harry's lower back, Louis carefully guided the boy through the rough crowd. Harry would normally be overwhelmed by the lack of air in the room, but he couldn't find the energy or focus to care about that right now. His mind was very fuzzy and bright, and he was absolutely thrilled about it.

"Good to go up stairs without breaking anything?" Louis asked, slightly concerned as Harry wobbled on his feet.

"Of course," Harry scoffed, grasping the railings on both sides and starting slowly up the stairs. Louis stayed close behind him, ready to catch him if he fell. "Liam only gave me one drink. Actually, maybe it was two? Either way, I'm fine," he rambled, focusing intently on the stairs in front of him.

"If you say so, love," Louis shook his head, hoping that Harry was at least sober enough to understand him when he said that he broke up with Eleanor. Either way, he was glad to get the younger boy out of that crowd. Just the thought of that other man's hands on his boy made his blood boil. He didn't need anyone else admiring Harry's beauty too closely tonight.

They made it safely to the same bedroom as before with only a few stumbles on Harry's part. Louis got Harry to the bed and the boy happily flopped down on his back, stretching out his arms and legs to take over the whole mattress. He sighed happily, taking in the comforting feeling of the soft mattress against his back. His gaze floated lazily to Louis, who was standing over him with an annoyed look on his face and his arms crossed over his chest, although he couldn't keep the smile from his lips.

"Don't try to act annoyed with me," Harry accused, grinning up at Louis and rolling toward the older boy. "I know you're incapable of getting upset with me. I mean, just look at me." Harry gestured vaguely to his long body splayed out on the bed, grinning smugly.

"I am," Louis replied, rolling his eyes. He definitely liked drunk Harry. "Now, are you sober enough to have a conversation with, or do we have to lay here for a while first?"

"I'm very sober!" Harry protested. "I've just had a drink or two. Does that make me not sober?"

"You're ridiculous," Louis laughed, sitting down on the bed beside Harry. He shoved the boy lightly to make room to lay down. "Give me some room, you big oaf."

"Don't call me names," Harry pouted, though he obliged and gave Louis enough room to lay down beside him.

"All in love, Haz," Louis reassured him, keeping his eyes trained on the ceiling above them. His heart swelled from the lack of pressure. He was free to do what he wanted without the guilt associated with his girlfriend. He was free to love who he wanted to love, and there was a perfectly lovable boy laying right beside him.

"I'm sober," Harry repeated quietly, almost as though he were talking to himself.

"Whatever you say," Louis replied. "Let's just lay here for a couple of minutes, yeah?"

Harry simply nodded in reply. Although he was usually the one thinking about love, the alcohol swirling around his head had him thinking about something else. He watched Louis carefully, taking in the older boy's peaceful appearance. Louis looked completely relaxed, and for some reason, that just didn't seem right to Harry.

"Louis," Harry said slowly. "Are you sure you just want to lay here?"

"Well, you're too silly right now to have a serious conversation with."

"We could do something else."

Harry rolled over onto his side to get closer to the older boy and Louis immediately lifted his arm to allow Harry to press his body against Louis's side.

"Like wha --"

And suddenly Harry's lips were on Louis's neck and all of the blood in Louis's body had rushed down from his brain to another part of his body, and the only thought pounding in his head was Harry's name, over and over again. The whole world was frozen around them. Harry sucked lightly on Louis's neck, tongue darting out from between his lips to brush over Louis's delicate skin.

In one smooth, sudden motion, Louis flipped Harry onto his back, hovering over the curly haired boy. Harry's eyes were blown as he looked up into Louis's dark blue eyes.

"You're really something, aren't you?" Louis breathed, truly taking in Harry's appearance for the first time. As Harry opened his mouth to reply, Louis dipped his head down to press his lip against Harry's, moving his lips roughly against the younger boy's.

Harry moaned lowly as Louis's tongue slipped into his mouth to explore, bucking his hips up slightly to find friction against Louis's. Louis's hand found Harry's hips, holding him down against the mattress with one hand and slipping his other hand behind Harry's neck.

"Be patient, baby," Louis mumbled against Harry's lips. Harry groaned in response, but allowed Louis to take control of the kiss. He liked the feeling of Louis on top of him, pinning him down.

Louis finally broke the kiss, leaving both boys gasping for air. He moved his mouth to Harry's neck, sucking gently on the tender skin.

"Lou, please," Harry moaned, tilting his head to give Louis better access. "I need --"

"I got you, baby," Louis said, blowing cool air on the dark spot he'd just left on Harry's neck. Harry shivered in response, and Louis couldn't take it anymore: he pressed his hips down against Harry's, desperate for any sort of friction.

And suddenly, Harry was completely sober. The alcohol had numbed the moment for him, but with that simple action, he was somewhere completely different. Somewhere he didn't want to be.

"Wait, please --" Harry said suddenly, grasping Louis's shoulders to push him away. Louis didn't get the message, his lips still firmly attached to Harry's neck.

"Please, stop," Harry begged. His chest felt tight and the room was dark and he was trapped beneath this other body, and that person on top of him wasn't Louis and he didn't love him and he was completely helpless.

"Please, don't hurt me."

At those words, Louis immediately pulled away, rolling off of Harry without hesitation. Harry scrambled back against the headboard, pulling his knees to his chest as he tried to force air into his lungs. He kept his eyes tightly shut, telling himself over and over again that this was just a terrible, terrible dream and that any second, he would wake up and be in his bed. Safe.

Louis furrowed his brow in confusion as he took in Harry's distressed figure -- one minute everything was going perfectly and suddenly everything was wrong. He reached out to touch Harry's arm and the boy flinched away, opening his eyes and finally raising his gaze to meet Louis's.

Something seemed to shift inside of him as he realized where he was. He wasn't alone. He was with Louis. He was safe.

"Lou, I'm so sorry," Harry said quickly, trying desperately to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes. "I'm such an idiot, I just -- I'm sorry."

"Harry," Louis replied seriously. He scooted closer to Harry on the bed, careful not to touch the younger boy. "Baby, what happened? What's wrong?"

Harry shook his head. He couldn't tell Louis. He couldn't stand for Louis to see him the way he saw himself: damaged. Unlovable.

"We don't have to do anything if you aren't ready," Louis said, desperately trying to fix a problem that he didn't even understand. "I don't want to force you into anything."

"No, it's not that," Harry replied, sucking in a deep breath. "I want to be with you. God, I want to be with you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life."

"Then what's wrong? Talk to me, please," Louis begged, studying Harry's face intently as he tried to read the boy's mind.

And as much as Harry didn't want to tell Louis, he wanted more than anything to tell someone. He wanted someone to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay. He needed someone to tell him that he was okay, despite everything that had happened in the past year.

"Something happened last year," Harry began carefully, trying to ignore the strained feeling in his chest. He focused on his breathing as he continued, "I was at a party with my friends. At my old school. And this guy that I had a huge crush on told me that he wanted to show me something upstairs, and I -- god, I liked him so much, so I went with him."

Louis's heart clenched as he started to understand where the story was going. He couldn't stand the thought of something terrible happening to Harry. Kind, loving Harry. Trusting Harry.

"He took me into a bedroom and he started kissing me. I was so happy at first, but then things started to go in a different direction. And I told him that I wanted to stop, but then he changed. He got rough and aggressive and he kept going and he --" Harry wrapped his arms more tightly around himself, pulling his long legs closer to his chest. His eyes were glazed over as he recounted the memory. "I can't say it, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Louis assured him. He knew without Harry having to say the word.

Harry snapped out of his trance, raising his eyes to meet Louis's as he studied the older boy's reaction. When Louis didn't say anything, Harry knew that his preminitions were right. Louis was disgusted with him, and he would never see him the same way again.

"I'm sorry, I never should have told you," Harry said quickly, standing up from the bed and straightening his wrinkled clothing. "I'm sorry, I just -- I need to go."

"Harry, wait," Louis said. "Please, I'm just, um, trying to process this. I just need a minute to think."

In all honesty, Louis didn't think that he could formulate a coherent sentence. There were so many emotions rushing through him that he couldn't even set his feelings straight. He was angry, he was sad, and he was hurt. He was happy that Harry had shared this with him after all of this time. He was relieved that he finally had an explanation for Harry's jumpiness. He wanted to kill the person who did this to his baby. But despite all of these emotions, he was completely speechless.

"It's okay, Lou. Take your time to think, I just really need to go. I can't be here right now," Harry replied quickly, crossing the room to the door. The room was closing in on him, the four walls pressing closer with every second that passed. He needed more than anything to get out of there.

He glanced back once more to take in the expression of pity on Louis's face. He knew that Louis would see him as damaged, but the confirmation hurt more than he thought it would.

"Harry, please don't go," Louis said, standing up to follow Harry.

"No, I need some time alone. I can't handle the way you're looking at me right now. Take your time to think -- I need some time, too."

Harry pulled the door open, light from the hallway flooding the dark bedroom.

"Harry," Louis called. Harry turned his head to look over his shoulder, and Louis had never seen the boy look so sad. He'd never seen him look so broken. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too."

Louis was sorry that Harry had to go through such a terrible experience alone. He was sorry that Harry hadn't felt comfortable telling him until now. He was sorry that he had practically triggered Harry into a panic attack only minutes before. He was sorry that Harry had ever felt that kind of hurt, when all the boy did was make other people happy.

Harry was sorry that he'd told Louis anything in the first place. He was sorry that he'd ever agreed to go upstairs with that stupid boy from his old school in the first place. He was sorry that he had ever fooled himself into thinking that Louis could love someone as damaged as him.