seventeen - you're insecure, i know what for

When Louis woke up, his arm was still wrapped around Harry's waist. Harry's full lips were parted slightly and his head was resting on Louis's chest. Louis reached over to grab his phone off of the nightstand and Harry nuzzled his face further into Louis's neck, trying to get closer to Louis even in sleep. Louis smiled at the sleeping boy fondly before tearing his eyes away from Harry to check his phone.


He frowned seeing that he had at least 10 missed calls from Eleanor. He had told her that he was sick, so he couldn't understand why she could be upset with him. He sent her a quick text, wanting to resolve the problem as quickly and as easily as possible. He hated people being upset with him, especially the important people in his life.


Eleanor was his girlfriend, so she was important. "Girlfriend" meant she came first. He just had to keep telling himself that, despite the curly haired boy he was currently holding between his arms. This didn't mean anything, as long as he kept Eleanor happy.


When Harry finally stirred in Louis's arms and slowly blinked his eyes open, Louis groaned loudly and stretched. "Finally! I've been waiting hours for you to wake up," he complained playfully, squeezing Harry's cheek fondly.


"How do you feel?" Harry asked immediately, yawning widely.


Louis's chest swelled at Harry's concern for him and suddenly realized that he felt much better than he had last night. "A lot better actually," he admitted, smiling widely.


"Good enough to go to school? You should stay home if you're still feeling bad," Harry worried, biting his bottom lip. He wanted to make sure that Louis felt okay, and he felt responsible since he had taken care of Louis last night. Also, Harry never wanted Louis to feel bad, so his priority right now was making sure that Louis got better.


"No, I feel okay," Louis assured him, tapping Harry's cheek lightly with his index finger to get him to stop nibbling at his lip. Harry immediately complied, smiling sheepishly at the older boy. "I'll be fine, I promise."


"Are you sure?"


"I'm sure," Louis rolled his eyes, turning away from Harry and rolling out of bed before Harry could see his fond smile. "Let's get some breakfast and get to school, yeah?"


Harry nodded in a agreement and the two boys sprung into action, getting ready to go in comfortable silence. Louis slipped into some of Harry's clothes without even asking and Harry headed down to the kitchen to make some breakfast. They were out the door just in time and started walking in the direction of school. It looked like the start of a beautiful day.


Once the school parking lot was in sight, their casual conversation was abruptly interrupted by a shrill voice calling Louis's name. Harry's stomach churned at the sound of her voice, but the two boys turned back to see Eleanor walking quickly to catch up with them.


"Louis!" she said again, grinning at her boyfriend and kissing him on the cheek. The smile fell off her face when she turned to look at Harry, but Louis didn't seem to notice. Harry, of course, did, and he was torn between rolling his eyes and breaking down crying.


"Hey, El," Louis greeted her, continuing their walk toward school. Harry fell into step beside the couple, not sure if he should be leaving them alone or not. Louis didn't ask him to leave, so he wasn't going to.


"How are you feeling? I was worried about you being sick last night," she fretted, wrapping her arm around Louis's waist and pouting slightly.


"I feel a lot better actually," Louis replied, stealing a glance at Harry, who was walking with his eyes glued to the ground in front of him.


"Did you stay in last night and sleep? I know you said you were going to sleep it off but --" she stopped abruptly and snapped her head to look at Harry. She glanced between the two boys a couple of times and then stopped walking.


"What's wrong?" Louis asked, stopping to stare at her in confusion. Harry stopped walking as well, finally raising his gaze to see what the problem was.


"We need to talk," she said, shooting Harry a glare before turning her attention to Louis. "Alone," she added, raising her eyebrows.


Louis furrowed his brow in confusion, but shrugged in agreement. "Alright," he replied, turning to Harry. "I'll see you later, yeah?"


Harry nodded, eyes lingering on Louis for a moment longer before turning and heading toward the school. Louis watched him go before turning his attention to his girlfriend.


As soon as Harry was out of earshot, Eleanor accused, "I went to your house last night and you never answered me. I thought you were just sleeping it off but you were with Harry, weren't you?"


Louis simply shrugged in response, blood rushing to his face at the truth of the accusations. "Why does it matter?"


"Because, Louis," Eleanor hissed angrily. "I'm your girlfriend! You should be coming to me for help, not him."


"He's my best mate," Louis defended. "You don't want me to have friends?"


"Not if you're going to pay more attention to them than me!" she exclaimed. "I've already told you how I feel about this -- this is the last time. I don't want you hanging out with him anymore."


"Eleanor, he's my best mate! I'm not going to cut him off because you're insecure."


"Fine," she crossed her arms, staring up at him stubbornly. "If you keep talking to him, I'll tell everyone that you're gay."


"I'm not gay," Louis denied, trying to ignore the pit forming in his stomach. He wasn't gay. He couldn't be gay -- right?


"Well, you better start acting straight then. And you can start by not talking to that fag anymore," Eleanor spit out.


Louis opened his mouth to defend Harry, but no words came out. He couldn't do it. Anger spread through his veins at that word, especially describing Harry, but he knew what he had to do. He closed his mouth, pressing his lips together into a thin line, and nodded curtly.


"Let me talk to him today, and then I'll keep my distance. At least for a while," Louis said, still trying to justify and clarify his actions in his own mind. "Until you can get over your insane insecurities."


"Thank you," Eleanor sighed. Her body visibly relaxed and she moved a bit closer to Louis. "This is for the best, I promise. This will make us so much stronger."


Louis nodded and started walking in the direction of the school, wanting more than anything for her to stop talking about this so he could think in peace. He had to figure out what to say to Harry.


"That boy has been the problem all along. We're perfect for each other, Lou," she said, falling into step beside him. Louis nodded again and let her slip her small hand into his, trying to ignore how wrong it all felt.


He knew that this was wrong. He knew that he wanted it to be Harry beside him, his warm hand wrapped around Louis's smaller one.


He wasn't gay, though. He had never felt like this about other guys. He had always like girls, but with Harry, everything was different. Every time he was with the boy, his heart swelled ten times bigger and he couldn't think straight. He knew that his feelings for Harry would never go away if he kept spending so much time with him.


And he wished he was strong enough to admit his feelings, but he just wasn't. At least not yet.


So for now, as much as it hurt him and Harry, this was how it had to be. 

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