The next morning, I woke up impressed I actually got a good night sleep. I looked around at my unfamiliar surroundings confused where I was for a second, before remembering I was in treatment. I grabbed my phone from the night stand beside me, and sure enough there was a text from Vic saying he was hoping I would have a good day. I quickly texted him back I will try, and got out of bed. After quickly making my bed, I changed into a pair of leggins and a t shirt, and walked to the bathroom. The nurse was outside the door, meaning there was another girl in there, luckily I was next.

"Good morning Kai, how was your first night?" nurse Joyce asked.

"Pretty good actually, i got a good nights sleep" I replied, smiling at her.

Taylor walked out of the bathroom and stuck her hand out.

"Dude, I just pooped, high five!! This is so exciting! I haven't pooped in like 4 days, I have to wake up Annie! Oh and sorry about the smell" she giggled, running into Annie's room.

"The girls are really open and excited when they have a bowel movement, so you'll get used to it" nurse Joyce chuckled.

I laughed, and walked into the bathroom immediately turning up my nose at Taylor's aftermath.

After breakfast I had my first session with Michelle. I was really nervous because I had no idea what to expect from it and I had no idea what we were going to talk about. I sat down in the overstuffed chair, and nervously played with my hands. Michelle sat across from me with a notepad and a pen.

"So Kai, how have you been settling in?" she asked.

"Pretty good, the girls are awesome, and I like it so far" I replied.

She nodded, "so do you have any questions before we get started? From what I know this is your first meeting, I know you weren't in a program when you were in the hospital".

I shrugged, "not really"

"How long were you in the hospital for?"

"A little over two months, I'm glad to be out though, I hated it there".

We spent the rest of the hour talking about my experience in the hospital. After my session, I joined the other girls for snack.

"Oh joy, I got almonds and pudding today. Why must I always torture myself?" Taylor complained.

I laughed, "hey almonds are tasty! At least you have the pudding, plus it's chocolate. I have a rice krispy and fruit".

Taylor and I managed to finish our snack no problem. It felt good to support someone else and to complete my own snack.

After snack, we had a psychotherapy group, which was pretty an open discussion about anything, no judgements or rules.

The other girls talked about their problems at home, or the struggles they were going through since they've been to the program. I remained silent through them, nodding in agreement or giving a small encouraging smile when they looked like they were falling apart.

Finally it was my turn. "Kai, was there anything you wanted to talk about today?" Laura asked me.

"Not really, I'm still getting used to the routine and all the food. It's overwhelming, plus I really miss my boyfriend and my friends" I said honestly.

"Did you want to talk about it? Talking about it helps, and it helps relieve some of the weight from your shoulders" she encouraged me.

I sighed, "I guess that I just have a lot of pressure on getting better. I mean, I don't want to sound like a stupid celebrity or stuck up bitch, but girls look up to me, and it's just that much more pressure. I'm just scared of failing and then relapsing. It's hard to just be here, and at the same time pretend that I have everything together when I don't. I feel like I'm going to fall apart soon."

Some of the girls nodded in agreement.

"I can relate to you Kai, even though I don't have a million fans and everything," Annie laughed. "But I get what you're saying about the pressure to recover quickly and staying recovered. I have a pretty big family, and I feel like I'm getting better for them, instead of myself".

"And that's hard when you have a extra pressure from not only yourself, but every one else. But you know what, it's your recovery, your body, and your life. It can be hard to keep reminding yourself that, but everyone in this room deserves to recover, and live a life with their eating disorder" Laura said.

I nodded agreeing with her. It felt good to get it off my chest and to share it with the other girls. It's amazing how you can step out of your comfort zone and open up to people, and they can relate to your problems.

After group, we had a 2 hour break before lunch. I was planning to go to my room and cry, when Rosie approached me.

"Hey, so I brought my guitar, and I was wondering if you wanted to jam with me or something. I just need to be distracted right now" she asked me.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I should probably not isolate myself either. I brought my guitar too!" I said excitedly.

We walked into Rosie's room grabbing her guitar then to my room so I could grab mine. We decided to sit in the back patio since it was beautiful out.

"What do you want to play?" I asked her. She shrugged.

We fiddled around with our guitars before strumming a few notes. Before we knew it, it was almost lunch time and we were half way through a song.

"We should finish it next break! It sounds really good so far!" Rosie beamed.

I nodded in agreement. We walked to the dining area and sat in our spots.

"So I heard some amazing music coming from outside, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't the birds" Annie chuckled.

"Yeah, Kai and I thought it would be a good idea to jam outside, and we managed to come up with a song!" Rosie smiled.

"How cool would it be to have a talent show here? Like we can invite our friends and family over for a night, and just have fun. I think we should really have one next month!!" Annie, said excitedly.

"That sounds like a good idea! I can ask the team later today, and I'll let you guys know by the end of the week" Michelle agreed.

Having a talent show wasn't actually a bad idea, it would help prepare me to play in front of crowds again, and I know the guys would be stoked to hear me play again.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, I was caught up in groups and appointment. As I climbed into bed, I was beyond exhausted, who knew that talking all day could wear you out? Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

~~

Hey guys! Sorry if it wasn't the best chapter, I thought I might as well post something.

So I'm back in treatment, day program to be exact, and today is my second day. I am beyond exhausted, but I'm so motivated to get better. I'm thinking of making a tumblr for Eating disorder recovery and self harm recovery! Let me know what you think!

I hope you are all doing well!