K I N S L E Y ' S P O V

Breathe.

Just breathe.

   But I can't. It's impossible. It's like i'm trapped in my own world, drowning. I can't find my way to the surface.

   They've been yelling at me to wake up. To stop being so selfish and wake up.

But I can't.

Wake up, Kinsley.

Just wake up.

   It's not that easy. I'm tired. Exhausted. I've been trying to wake up, trust me I have. I've missed you all so so much. But I just can't.

"She's crashing."

T H I R D   P E R S O N    P O V

   The boy rolled over on the uncomfortable bed, staring up at the blinding white lights. The door opened, revealing a very worried looking Luca. "Matteo." He whispered, coming to comfort his distressed brother.

   The monitor sped up, "No, Teo, calm down brother." Luca grabbed a hold of his brother's hand. Matteo only looked at his brother, sending the one glare that told him that it wasn't ok. It wouldn't be ok.

   Matteo gripped the wires, tugging on them, ripping them from his arm. "Kinsley, I need to see Kinsley." He rasped. Luca's eyes widened, "She's not doing so well." He whispered, looking to the ground.

   "I need to go see her." He whispered, tugging on the wires once more. "No, Matteo you have to wait, she need's ti-" "Shes in here because of me. She's having problems because of me." He yelled, his voice breaking at the end.

   "No, It was Marios fault. You are not to blame for this brother." Luca explained, trying to calm his brother down. "We should have been looking for a her a long long time ago. We shouldn't have even had an appearance in her life! She would have had a better life without us." Matteo spat, trying to break free from Luca's hold.

   Luca sighed, "Without us she would still be with those monsters, Matteo. I can tell she's so so happy to be with us." It was Matteo's turn to sigh, looking me in the eyes. "Ok, listen can I just go look in the window, to see her?" He asked, getting ready to get up from the bed.

   "I really don't think it's a good sight for you to see right now." Luca whispered. "Please, Luk, I need to."

   Luca somehow understood his brother's reasoning. He too felt bad about what had happened to his sister. Somewhere deep down in his brain he too thought the same things Matteo thought. They just didn't have the right words to describe it.

   But fear was a good word to describe everything. They feared losing their baby sister after just getting her back. They fear that it's strictly their fault for what has happened to her. They fear that when she wakes up, if she wakes up, she's going to blame them for everything.

   Fear was something they didn't feel. Something they didn't like feeling of. They thought that if they pushed the fear down deep enough, it wouldn't be there to poke through at any given time.

   Luca looked down at his brother, slowly letting go of his hand as if he was going to slip away at any given time.

   Matteo slowly got up from the uncomfortable bed, ripping the wires fully from his arm. "Mat-" "Save it Luca. I don't want to hear it right now." He groaned, walking slowly out the door.

   "Mr. Russo! I don't think you should be walking around." One of the nurse's stated from the doors. He shook his head and kept walking. "Mr. Russo, Mr. Russo." The nurse caught up with the boy, grabbing a hold of his arm.

   He jerked it towards himself, glaring down at the nurse. "Leave." He pointed towards the door. "But si-" "I said leave damnit!" He yelled, causing his family in the waiting room to jump to their feet.

   "Son, you need to get back to your room." Their father spoke softly to the boy, as if he were some sort of child misbehaving. "No, you weren't here. You wouldn't understand." Matteo pushed past his father and up to the closed doors.

   Doctors ran around aimlessly, like a chicken with no head. They didn't look like they knew what they were doing while the fragile girl lay on the bed.

   He opened the door slightly, welcoming himself into the room. "Mr. Russo, you cannot be in here right now." He doctor said softly to the boy staring wide eyed at his sister.

   "She's stable now, Dr. James." Another doctor said, taking off his gloves. Dr. James nodded, keeping his attention on the distressed boy. "You cannot be in here." he said again, placing his hand on Matteos shoulder.

   Matteo only glared at the man, causing him to retract his hand. Matteo sat next to his sister, grabbing a hold of her hand. He broke out into sobs almost instantly.

   "God, I'm so sorry, Kins. I didn't mean it." He pled. "I just need you to wake up. Please. I miss you, we miss you." He begged.

His family stood at the door, their own tears falling freely at the pleas of the young boy. "Please, Kinsley. I need you here, you don't understand. I need you."

It was silent for a few minutes, the family soaked up the sight of the boy that wasn't known to love. They reassured him, told him it was ok, that everything would get better with time.

"I don't want time! I want my fucking sister." He yelled. "Matteo listen to me. Give her time son. She's healing, you're healing. You probably need to get back to your room." The boy's father spoke.

Matteo glared at his father, "You fucking left her. Again. You went on some business trip, you didn't help us. Where the fuck were you! When the fuck did you plan on helping?" He broke again.

The boy returned his attention back to his sister. "Please, Kinsley, please just wake up." He whispered.

K I N S L E Y ' S P O V

Wake up, Kinsley.

They need you out there.

They're going crazy without you.

The thoughts raced her mind. A few months ago, they had no clue that I was even alive. So why now? Why not just disappear again? They wouldn't realize.

They wouldn't realize if you had disappeared.

They wouldn't care.

Just let go Kinsley.

Let go.

But I couldn't. I couldn't leave. Not now, not with how they are acting. I felt selfish. Why couldn't I just wake up, stop worrying my family?

Why did I have to be different from the rest of them? Why couldn't I have been taught to protect myself from these situations?

Why wont you wake up, Kinsley.

Just wake up.

But I can't. I'm still exhausted. I just need time. I need the proper time, proper treatment.

Most people are scared of time. They see time as a big black hole that gets you know where in life. Someone once told me, "Time is a storm in which we are all lost."

For me, time is the world's way of repaying me. Time is what I lost while I was under the care of my mother. Time is what I lost when I was forced doing thing's I didn't want to do. Time is what I fear the most in life.

But without time, I wouldn't have learned. I wouldn't have grown. I wouldn't be the person I was today. And maybe I was ok with that.

Maybe, just maybe I was ok with being alone, without any sort of time. But the people never get what they want. I understand that.

come on Kinsley. Wake up already.

Just open your eyes! It's not that hard.

I feel like i'm still drowning. Nobodies hearing my silent pleas for help. I don't want to be stuck in the black hole where time is ticking away. I don't want to be alone with my thought anymore.

You'd feel better if you'd just let go.

Just give up.

'Just let go.' The thought had slipped my mind. If I let go, I wouldn't be in pain, but Id cause so much more. If I didn't let go and kept my act up, they would feel better. They would feel complete.

Then wake up.

Come on Kinsley, just wake up.

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Thank you for the reads, the comments, and the votes! I appreciate it so so much!!

<3- K

p.s. i'm getting mixed feelings about this part..