Connor Murphy X Reader
Songfic, Sad

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal Thoughts, Abuse Mention

It all became so lovely,

She found me, breaking down in the hallway. She helped me up, and she calmed me like no one else was able to.

Those bluest skies above me.

We laid on the grass in the park, staring at the clouds.

Those funny feelings I had never felt before I met you.

She taught me happiness.

I thought I'd stay a while,

We became friends. She didn't care I was different. She embraced it.

I tried to learn to smile.

I tried to turn over a new leaf and be a better person, like she knew I could be.

So many colors I had never even known..

My eyes were opened to the beauty of the world. I could appreciate every living creature.

Maybe I'll find myself sitting on that distant shore.

We stared out at the ocean, the sun setting. Two best friends on the perfect day.

Maybe I'm not alone.

I wasn't alone anymore.

Then I see the colors fading..

I now realize life might not be as beautiful as it seems.

Gentleness of light escaping..

I see the harsh reality. No one can be happy, in a world where people harm other people because of frustration.

Shadows of my fear invading..

I don't want to hurt her.

Have I seen this all before?

I've gone through all this before, with my sister. Zoe.

I know that there's something residing,

I tried to bury my pain, I tried to hide who I am.

A terror deep inside me..

But someday, I'll lash out at her. I'll hurt her.

I couldn't understand how you could be so bold..

She always believed in me. Why? I'm a hopeless, violent, lost cause. I'm a pathetic excuse for a human.

Maybe I'll find myself smiling on that distant shore..

Maybe I'll be able to escape. No one will notice, and she'll be safe. The world will be happier this way. I'll be happier this way.

Maybe I'm not alone........

I know this will work. Everything will work out once this is over.

Author~Chan: "I don't have a lot to say tonight. Enjoy.   Sincerely, Me."