"Where were you on the day of today? I dare you to fucking lie to me. "

Silence.

"Not talking, huh? Tell me everything or I'll be sure to talk to the D.A. about extenuating circumstances!"

More silence.

Niall comes to Louis' side. "He's not kidding around, man, I've seen him do it!"

Just as Harry adjusted the rest of his outfit, he leaves their shared hotel room and ventures around outside the hotel to find Louis and Niall. And just as he had expected...they were being idiots.

"Louis, Niall- what the fuck are you doing??"

The Merc doesn't turn to his boyfriend, still interrogating his....victim. "Obviously, Curly, I'm trying to scare this stone cold bitch into telling me what he knows!"

"Maybe because that's not a person? That's a used blow up sex doll.... and it's a woman."

Deadpool replaces his katana, still slowly growing out of his defensive mode. "That's just what they'd want you to think. Niall, great job. We're that much closer to getting me laid."

Louis walks away as Niall jumps at the statue. "I know where you live."

Harry facepalms. This would be a long week in Paris.

"H-Harry."

The man looks to see Louis gaping at him. He has a wide grin on his face.

"Just where did you get that outfit from? And that hair, your lips are....." Louis was rendered speechless.

 "So you do like how I look?" asked Harry innocently, directed towards Louis and Niall.

Niall gapes. "That doll isn't the only woman around here."

Louis looked wounded with the way he openly stared at Harry's exposed legs and the tats peeking over his blouse. For the first time in history, Louis couldn't talk.

Louis couldn't breathe.

This was to be expected, but it still made Harry blush the way Louis was eyeing him. It was a look inspired by a present Fran Drescher, one of Harry's role models when it came to fashion. So, he added extensions, a bit of make-up, plucked in some blue contacts, and he went shopping for women's clothes. If there was one thing to know about the man, it was that he liked to be pretty every once in a while. It gave him confidence.

"You look...weird," Niall frowned, earning a hard slap on the back of the head courtesy of Louis and Harry. "You asked my honest opinion! If you didn't speak I would have thought you were a girl."

"That's the point! I'm in disguise so I'm meant to look unrecognizable!"

"I don't like vagina but if you had one, Haz, I'd.....do whatever straights do with those things." Louis sure did know how to make him feel special, thinks Harry sarcastically.

"Like put your penis in it?" Niall provides. 

"Haha no, I wouldn't take it that far. A high five goes a long way." Harry glares at him as Niall laughs to himself.

The curly man shivered as the cool breeze hit his freshly shaved legs. "Maybe the shorts should go. In the meantime, Lou, how's the search coming along?"

"Well, I talked to Liam and he told me to go fuck myself," Louis lists. Harry rolls his eyes.

"Great. Glad to see we're making progress."

"Let me finish," Louis interrupts. "But then I told him about what's been happening and he said he'd come to help us once he's finished with whatever it is he's doing."

Harry adjusts his clothes self-consciously. "You could have said that first."

Louis stood out like a sore thumb  dressed up on the sidewalk in his usual attire. The same went for Niall in his own green suit. 

"So where do we start, Louis-"

"Ah ah, what did I ask that you call me as leader of this group?"

Harry groans, massaging his temple. "Jesus Christ. Where do we start, Pimp Daddy?"

"Thank you, but please calm down with all the pet names, you're embarrassing yourself." It took all of Niall's strength to hold Harry back before he could tackle Louis while the man had his back turned. "I found a store for Niall and I to shop at before we head over to my guy's house. Don't worry, we'll be completely unrecognizable."

Paris sure was beautiful. Very chilly, but pretty. Niall could practically smell the foreign foods waiting for him to try. Harry didn't want to distract himself, but he was reminded at every turn that this was the city of love. It was such a shame that he and Louis were here on business, because he'd love for them to go on a date. He always fantasized about getting proposed to on the Eiffel tower, not that he wanted him and Louis to be married right now, but it was just a thought.

Harry fanned himself. Right now. Did he want to marry Louis in the near future? They hardly knew each other!

"Spid- I mean, babe, are you feeling well? You were cold a few seconds ago and now you're red and heated."

"I was just thinking about uh....that threesome we mentioned earlier! Yeah, threesome. Nothing about marriage or commitment or something unrelated to the mission. You're so silly, Lou. You should stay on topic."

Louis quizzically raised an eyebrow and scratched his ass cheek. "Sorry I mentioned it?"

"Guys," Niall thankfully cuts in, "I found an outlet in my GPS. We should hurry up and get our disguises and make our moves. Remember our vehicle is a rental."

"God, you've only said it about 69 times." Deadpool rolls his eyes. "Niall you can't be seen without your camouflage, and neither can you, Hazza. So I'll go get us some threads while you two go back into the hotel."

Niall and Harry agree and bid Louis farewell while they waited upstairs. Harry contemplated on getting a purse, but decided against it so that he'd have some sort of limit to his inner kink of being pretty.

"Harry, why are you a girl? You had so many outfits to choose from and you decide on this."

"Because I want to. If I wore this in the city back home, I'd be ridiculed for it. I like dressing up sometimes and feeling soft cotton material on my thighs, especially after I shave them." He picks at his pressed on nails while rubbing his smooth legs together, shuddering. It's been so long since he's had the courage to wear an outfit like this.

Niall shakes his head. Harry knew he wouldn't understand. No one would. It was one of the many secrets he kept to himself.

"Why? Is it a crime for me to wear women's clothes?"

"Just never took you for a cross dresser as all," he shrugs, laying across the king sized bed.

The hero takes a deep breath and counts to ten to not angrily lash out. "I'm not a cross dresser, I wear this because it gives me piece of mind. Being a hero is stressful, and I don't smoke or drink so this is the best alternative."

"I'm just saying that it's weird, OK. Men don't wear women's clothes unless they were a cross dresser. Saying you aren't one is like taking a cock up the arse and saying you're not gay."

"Then I guess you're a real leprechaun if you wear a leprechaun's clothes. You know, since you're Irish," sneers Harry. His chest is rising and falling rapidly. Harry hasn't let people get to him since his college days when he wore flower crowns and ribbons all the time. It was already tough enough when they assumed he was gay by doing so and then coming out under the pressure.  

Niall glares at him and waves him off. "Whatever. Don't have to be so defensive about nothing." The villain yawns and closes his eyes, completely ignoring Harry now. The boy is livid.

Don't get upset. Don't get upset.

Harry calmly soothes himself, doing himself one better. Before he gets over it, Harry already has his boyfriend on speedial.

"Ah, yes. I see you sensed that I was thinking about you. Don't worry, I know it was hard to get rid of the older Kevin McCallister tagging along with us everywhere, but I'll make sure you get at least three fingers in you before you come."

".....I'm doing just fine, Louis. How are you?"

"So you don't want phone sex?"

"No....and I'm starting to get the feeling you really want us to fuck for some strange reason."

"What? Boy you crazy. I am a gentleman who will gently stroke you until I feel you pulsing beneath my hand- and I'm doing it again, aren't I? Are you mad?"

Harry pauses, biting his lip. "Say, Louis. What did you really think of my outfit today? Be honest."

"Well...do you like it?" he asks.

"I feel good wearing the clothes I like freely, yes."

"Then it's lovely. I think you look beautiful," the merc admits seriously. "Why? What's the problem?"

"The problem is...you rarely ever make me mad. You always know just what to say, and I don't want to change you. I want you exactly the way you are."

Harry can hear background noise and a little bit of sniffling until Louis answers again. He sounds like he was hoarse.

"I don't care if we ever have sex," he whispers, a genuine tone in his voice. "I mean that, Haz. I really am happy that you're with me. You don't hear me say this often, but you really are one of the main reasons that make living forever worth while, knowing that you're here for a small part of that sentence. Sorry if I make jokes about us banging all the time, though. Just want you to know that I do what I do because I lo....think the world of you."

"I think very highly of you, too. That's why I tell you I don't want you to change. But as much as I love us having serious, relationship-laced conversations, I was wondering if I could give you a suggestion for Niall's outfit style...."

-

"In times like these, I do rather wish I had better skin." Louis examined his face while rocking his Adidas hoodie and sweatsuit at his own leisure. His blue eyes stood out in comparison to his sandy skin complexion, but Harry thought he looked really cute.

"Whatever, we're blending into society. You should be more like Niall, he's really enjoying his outfit, and he's getting in touch with his Irish roots," Harry smirks.

"Fuck you, Styles!" Niall's outfit consisted of a white button down and a green vest, green shorts, knee high socks, and a shiny green top hat. "Why am I a leprechaun?!"

"I thought it would look adorable and it does," Louis reasons. "You're so adorable!"

Harry folds his arms and turns away. Louis didn't say he looked adorable when he changed his outfit. Well, he did kinda rub himself on Harry when the younger hero snogged him as he came back from the mall outlets, but that could mean anything.

"Harry, you're more adorable," smiles Louis.

"I know." Harry loves being complimented.

Louis tugs at a strand of curl hanging from Harry's face and twirls it. "You're going to be a hit at James' party tonight."

"Who is James? I thought the guy's name was Shahid?" Niall fishes his underwear out from where the sun don't shine and huffs. His shorts were much too short for him.

"James is Shahid's younger, cooler nephew that I'm using as a pawn to get closer to Shahid. He may be a greasy piece of shit but he has major connections that make it impossible to get him alone and wipe him out."

"Whoa!" Harry smacks his hand away. "We can't unalive him!"

"I know, I know, we need to find the gem first. Then that roll of toilet paper is going down." He proves his point by pointing a finger gun to his own head and banging  several times.

"No I'm saying we aren't unaliving anyone. You promised you'd be a hero, and heroes don't unalive."

"But Batman doesn't-"

Hey stupid. Batman isn't part of this universe! No one knows who that is.

"Oh, thank you voice in my head! I forgot."

Stop talking to us in front of Spidey. If you lose him, that's a wrap. Your left hand is all you'll have left

"Guys, have we not talked in that long? I jack off with my right." Louis loves jacking off with both hands, actually.

"Who's that?" Harry asks.

"What?"

"What?"

Louis looks away and whistles. Thanks a lot, insanity.

"Look, I know it's hard, and I told you not to change, but this is different. You're abiding by the hero code. I know you're going to continue slaughter, but only when you really need to, and right now there is no need."

Louis pulls out his katana from the holster. "I'll miss you, my baby. How will I live if I can't puncture you through a man's skull?"

"Aw, but Daddy," Harry flutters his eyelashes. "I thought I was your baby." Harry douses the final fire when slides the sweater down his shoulder really slowly, exposing his collarbones and his swallow tat.

The Daddy comment was the beginning of his first and final mistake.

"Niall, go in the other room. Now."

The man stops fishing for the wedgie in his trousers and pales when he sees Louis' stone cold face. "Sure thing, Boss. You make the rules. See ya!"

And well, Harry probably fucked up, because Louis is slowly moving towards him and Harry's slowly backing away, until they're up against the wall and Louis is towering over him. He was still deciding if what he started was the wrong thing to do or the right.

"L- Louis. Let's talk about this. Y- you said we didn't have to have se-"

"Oh, it's Louis now, is it?" The mercenary dances his fingertips across Harry's abdomen. "And we still don't have to do anything, but I can tell you what I would do to you if you allowed me."

Harry's breath catches as Louis' mouth catches his own, his tongue slowly but firmly breaching his mouth and pushing against his for the dominance that it already has.

Harry decided he did the right thing.

"I'd finger you, digit by digit, until your sweet spot is abused and my whole fucking fist is in you. Then, I'd flip you upside down, split your legs apart and eat you out until you're crying bloody fucking murder." Harry's shivering, spreading his leg so Louis can hike it up and press their groins together for sweet, sweet bliss. "After that, I'd slowly f*ck your tight, practically virgin hole, grabbing you by the base of your pretty little c*ck so that you won't come until I let you. Then, when I finally do, I'm not stopping until I've come at least twice in you, and I won't touch you until you come from just my c*ck. Finally, I'd call baby Nialler next door, where you'd tell him how you let Daddy give it to you because you're a filthy minx with no shame. How's that, sound good to you?"

 All that time, Harry was grinding into Louis' crotch, locking his arms behind Louis' head and gasping even though the friction wanted is no where near as good as the real thing.

"P- please, Daddy. I wanna- I need-"

"Do you know what Daddy needs to do, princess?"

Harry shakes his head no, all care for his hair and makeup gone from his mind. "What?"

Louis smirks. "Daddy needs to express some rage."

-

I :) took :) so :) long :) to :) update it's 5:30 am and I wasn't stopping until I updated this chapter

My laptop broke and I waited to get a new one and aye dios mio it sucked waiting. I'm sure you're all like 'SMUT SMUT SMUT' and want to chew my head off because it stopped but hey, it's almost 6am #holdmadick

QOTC: Why do you think Harry is so defensive about his clothing choice and lifestyle