Mikuno

We were sitting in the living room, watching some TV. I was cuddling Oreo, who was actually okay with me holding him.

Dad's phone rung. His face turned slightly pale looking at whoever was calling. He then held up his finger to me and began pacing in the back rooms so I couldn't hear, talking to the mystery person on the phone.

I didn't think much of it; I was kinda sleepy and bored, so I ignored it and continued to watch TV. After a few minutes, Dad walked back in, grabbing the remote and shutting off the TV.

"What was that for?" I asked, snapping out of my daze a slight bit. He sighed, before sitting down beside me.

"That call was from the hospital." He said. My heart began to beat harder in my chest, my stomach beginning to feel sick.

"Okay...?" I asked.

"Y-your mother... she..." Is gonna be okay?

"...passed away last night." 

...

No...

"You're kidding, right?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, Mikuno, I'm not." She's gone...

"No! You're lying! Please... Tell me you're lying..." I don't want her to be gone. There's so many things we didn't get to do together... I didn't even get to tell her goodbye...

He stood up and leaned over, wrapping his arms around me.

Dad never hugs... He's not kidding... She's gone...

"I'm really sorry..." 

My eyes filled with tears and I was frozen. This was the worst feeling I'd ever felt. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak... I couldn't breathe. 

I'll never see her again... I'll never get to experience the warmth of her hugs... I'll never be able to crack a joke with her... Again... She's gone....

After a few seconds of the hug, I broke down. Mom had always been there for me. I felt distant, even though I was being hugged. It didn't feel real; nothing felt real.

The tears rolling down my cheeks onto the back of my dad's shirt weren't satisfying enough. They didn't let out my true sadness. 

I wanted to be alone, but I didn't want to move. I felt sick and frozen. 

I was going to visit her tomorrow... Tomorrow... If only I'd gone yesterday... I would've... Properly said goodbye....

~

I stayed in the living room because I didn't want to move. I couldn't think of anything except mom's face, hoping I never forgot it. Hoping I never forgot the memories we forged. 

I had stopped crying eventually. I came to the conclusion it wouldn't fix anything. It still was a struggle to speak sometimes due to the lump that would form in my throat. 

I just stared out the window and watched the raindrops fall, listening to them patter on the roof. Dad forced me to take my medicine, so I guess it was taking away from the emotional pain by making me tired. But it didn't remove it.

Dad DID tell me that I didn't have to go to school the next day. So I laid on the couch, Oreo in my arms, watching the rain. 

Please... Just... Be happy in Heaven... And know that I love you.

My phone rang several times with Sakurai calling, but I didn't answer. I couldn't speak, anyway, so why bother.

My phone lit up with a voicemail from her. I hesitated, before turning off my phone. I can't handle anything else right now... I'm sorry, Sakurai...

I stared at the sky until the blue began getting lighter, and soft light began coming through the window. I stared out that window from 9 PM to 6 AM.

Finally, though, exhaustion got to me. That was the only thing that would stop me from looking out that window.

~

When I woke up, it was 1 PM and Dad was at work downstairs. Of course, I didn't want to get up. But my stomach roared with hunger.

After a few minutes of moping, I sat up and walked to the kitchen to fix a simple "breakfast" for myself. 

My sense of taste seemed to have completely vanished. Nothing felt real at all.

~

"Mikuno, you've got guests." Dad said, walking into the living room. It was around dinner time now, and he had just walked in from work.

"Who?" I asked, not really caring.

"It's Sakurai. Her and her parents tracked you down. She said she was worried about you, and that she needed to tell you something. What do you want me to do?" Normally he would've forced me down. But I knew this was a test.

 I sighed, "I guess I'll go see her." I said.

"At least get dressed and comb your hair. I'll tell them you'll be down in a minute..." He walked down the stairs to where they were.

~

"I apologize for my appearance," I said to her parents, "I haven't had the best past two days." I explained.

"It's alright... How about we leave you two alone?" 

Now we sat on the bench outside. The rain had cleared up, but it was a nasty day. The sky was grey and most people were indoors.

"What's been going on?" Sakurai asked.

I sighed, "Lots of stuff. But it's okay." I said.

"No it's not. Your voice is shaking. What's wrong?" She asked.

What?? I couldn't even tell my voice was shaking. Dang, she's good...

"Well... We got a call from the hospital... You won't be meeting my mom any time soon..." 

She gasped lightly, "Oh no... I'm so sorry." She said.

"It's oka-" Suddenly she wrapped her arms around me from the side, putting her head on my shoulder.

For the first time since my mom passed, I felt something again.

"No, really. I know you cared about her... I'm really sorry." She said.

"I-it's okay..." She made my heart pump... When no one else would... When I felt like I was dead... Being around her made me feel okay...

"Sakurai..." My throat lumped before I could say what I wanted.

You can't tell her that now... Your mom just died... Don't go off telling your crush that you love her... That's disrespectful to mom.

But... I'll tell her, in just a while. I'll tell her how I'm SURE I feel.

*Author's Note*

Okay, I literally cried while writing this chapter. I've never killed off one of my own characters. It HURTS MY HEART!!!

And, I'm really sorry I had to do that, but I felt that it needed to happen to progress the story. I hope I didn't make you cry too hard.

Anyway, thank you very much for reading this emotional chapter, and I'll see you in the next one!

~Angel Lynn~