When you inherit a
broken family, you can't
throw it away and get
a new one.
What you can do is
find people and situations
that provide for you what
your family cannot.

Rosy
————

⚠️Mention and attempt of suicide⚠️

Being stuck with him in that elevator is all I could think about.

On the ride home, it was awfully quiet but not awkward.

Even now as I enter the house, there was a big smile on my face. I closed the door behind me and turned around to see my sister standing with her hands folded and a huge frown on her face.

Now what exactly does she want..

"Where have you been?" Her face looks red and a bit ugly. I'm used to seeing her with makeup all the time so her face being completely bare right now is very new and not so pleasant. Her lips are bigger than mine because she got fillers just recently and boy..I'm just glad we don't look alike anymore.

"What are staring at?! I asked you a question?" Her frown deepens even more and I sigh.

"It's non of your business but as you can clearly see, I went shopping" I answer her and she narrows are eyes at me and then at the amount of bags I was holding.

"With who?" She scowls at me and I roll my eyes.

"Non of your business" I walk past her but she follows me and stood in front of me again and took out her phone, scrolling a few times before landing on a picture and points it in my face.

It was a picture of Spencer, Felix and I. One of the many selfies we took together.

It's a nice picture. Spencer and I were grinning with raised eyebrows and Felix..well, he had a plain expression and folded arms. He still looks very handsome.

My sister clears her throat making me look at her with a smile on my face. "It's a lovely picture" I look at the picture again.

"Why were you with them?"

"Why do you care?" I fire back at her and groans in an annoying manner.

"Why can't you just back off" she yells at me.

I tilt my head to the side and furrow my eyebrows at her. "Whatever do you mean by that?"

"I mean stay away from them! They don't even like you! They probably just want something from you and then they'll forget about you" she yells again and took a step closer to me "you think they like you?" She lets out a humourless laugh and I stay quiet and she took it as a sign to continue "they don't. They just want to get in your pants. But again what boy would want to do that? Especially with a worthless redhead like you" she has a victorious smile on her face thinking her words got to me.

"A redhead who's way prettier than you and managed to get the attention of the guys you want without even trying" her smile falls from her face, replaced with a frown.

"You think you're prettier than me?" She points a finger at me and I glance at it before looking at her.

"No. I know I am" I look into her eyes.

"I hate you!" She moves closer again.

"The feeling is very mutual sister" I keep my stance in front of her.

"You should've died with your grandmother, better yet just die and reunite with her. You miss her don't you?,  go join her then" she just crossed all limits by mentioning her.

"Don't talk about her that way" I fight back the tears and she noticed making the smirk appear on her face again.

"Or what? What will you do? You're so pathetic. You're just like her! You're weak and useless" I blinked the tears away.

"And that is why she never liked you. You're rude and so self conceited. That's why she never had time for you, why she always invited me for holidays and why she always got me toys that you always steal and why she loved me more than anyone else" I tell her calmly and I could see her own tears forming.

"You think that affected me? It didn't. I didn't like her anyway" she turned around and stomped to her room.

I let out a sigh as the tears flow freely now. Her words stinging to my core. She has said a lot of things to me but this beats all of them.

better yet just die and reunite with her..

I walk to my room and throw my things on the bed. I removed my cloths and entered the bathroom sitting in the hot water in the tub.

Just die and reunite with her.

I place my head under the hot water for what felt like ages before coming back up for air.

Just die..

Do I even have a reason to live? I might be with my grandma if I just die. Wherever she is.

At least I won't be in this godforsaken household.

I got out the shower and I looked in the mirror. My eyes were puffy from all the crying and my lips red from the hot shower. My hair was sticking to my body.

I got dressed and unpacked my things.

I sat on the bed thinking about how my sister managed to ruin my day in a split second.

Just die

I can't get what she said out of my head and that's when I noticed the pocketknife nana gave me sitting on the bedside table.

I shouldn't...

But I moved to take it and open it. Revealing a sharp silver blade. I can even see my reflection on it. It had red embroidery on it making it look ethereal.

I looked at my wrist.

I shouldn't..

I closed my eyes, a few tears running down.

You're useless.

I place the blade on my wrist.

You're so pathetic.

I was about to cut when a knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts making me jump and drop the knife on the carpet.

I was sweating and breathing heavily. With shaking hands, I took the knife and closed it and hid in my wardrobe.

I was about to do it...

Without even thinking about my new friends and how disappointed grandma would be.

Goodness..

Another knock sounded on my door again. I wiped my tears and looked at the mirror and put on a smile. I'm used to doing that a lot around this household.

I opened the door and the nanny, Stella was standing there with a sad expression on her face "are you okay dear? We heard the argument between you and your sister earlier. She shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm so sorry" the tears threaten to fall but I smiled and blinked them away.

"I'm fine. I'm used to her words now" I lie. The lie sounding unbelievable to my own ears.

She sighs and hugs me and plays with my hair "if you say so Rosy. Oh and there are two people here to see you" she pulls away and smiles warmly at me.

I tilt me head telling her I'm confused "who would come see me at 10pm" I ask no one in particular.

"I don't know them Rosy" she smiles and I nod. I didn't bother changing my shorts and silk crop top. They're probably friends of my sister or my parents.

I walked down the stairs and to the front door and opened it. My eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the people I'm seeing in front of me.

"Hey my munchkin!" Spencer yells which got an eye roll from Felix who diverted his attention to me and checked out what I was wearing before looking back at my eyes with his mouth slightly open.

He clears his throat and look away. He was also in Pyjama pants and a hoodie. Spencer was dressed almost the same.

"You guys are eye fucking each other again. You have no shame whatsoever" Spencer shakes his head ending our staring contest.

I blush at that. I wasn't even eye fucking him.....yeah.

I clear my own throat "w-what are you guys doing here? It's late" they were still standing outside.

"First of all, let us in. It's freezing out here" Spencer comments and I quickly let them in and lead them to the warm living room.

"Damn. Your house is huge!" Spencer comments again.

"Uhm.. thank you?" I tilt my head again.

"So basically, Felix forced me to come here at this time" he got a flick on his head from Felix for that. And an eye roll.

"Ouch dude. He really did! He told me we didn't hear you sing and so the day should not end without hearing you sing" he moves away from Felix who looks like he's about to throw a fist at him.

Felix sighs "you literally woke me up to come here. I did mention her not singing, but didn't force you to come here" wow, that has to be the most I've heard him speak this week.

His voice is beautiful.

"Oh well. So Rosy...will you sing for us? We're not leaving till you do" he folds his hands behind his head and gets comfortable on the couch with a grin on his face.

Felix follows his position without the grin.

Good thing my parents and brother aren't home and my sister either went out or is already asleep in her room.

I don't care about her anyway.

I sigh and shake my head at the two idiots who in a way, saved me from making a huge mistake today. If they didn't come here..I'll probably be dead by now.

I clear my throat again and thought of the melody of growing pains by Alessia Cara. It's one of my favourite songs. I relate to it too much.

I close my eyes and let out a breath..

[(A/N you can play the song up there if you don't already know it;) ]

Make my way through the motions..
I try to ignore it, but home's looking farther the closer I get.

I open my eyes to see both of them wide eyed. Spencer, being dramatic, even had his mouth opened.

Don't know why I can't see the end, is it over yet? Mmm

I sing the full song with my eyes closed and then when I'm done I open my eyes and Felix was staring at me with the most intense gaze I've ever gotten from him.

"Oh. My. Fucking. Nuggets" Spencer was looking at me with his mouth opened widely.

He started clapping and nudged Felix who broke his gaze to join him clap.

He did. And so did Stella and Harry, who I didn't realise walked in.

"That was beautiful. Your voice is magic" Stella compliments me and I blush looking down.

"Thank you Stella" I smile at her.

I turned to look at the two boys in front of me. Felix was still looking at me and Spencer was looking at...Harry, who seemed to be looking at him too. Felix must've noticed the exchange because he turned to them and then to me.

I shrug and he did the same.

I clear my throat and they stopped looking at his other.

"Uhm...as I was saying, you're going for that audition and you're going to win it!" He tells me with confidence.

"I don't know guys, I don't think I can. I truly cannot. There will be too much people and I'll have a panic attack-

"Not if we're there to support you" Spencer looks at me with excitement and expectation.

"He's right. We'll be there for you" Harry joins in.

"You can do it" I heard Felix's distinct voice making my heart race.

I nod slowly "I'll do it then" I answer

"Yes!" Stella, Harry and Spencer celebrate together and Felix offered a small smile that is barely noticeable but it's enough to be called a smile.

"It's late. You guys should get going now" I tell them and they stand up "yup. It's past my bedtime" Spencer says making Felix face palm.

"What? A man needs his beauty sleep okay." This made us laugh. They said their goodbyes and I closed the door.

Stella gave me a look and I narrow my eyes at her "no" I tell her.

"I didn't say anything" she continues to smile and I shake my head. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight" I tell them and they sang a goodnight before heading to their rooms.

I like the fact that they stay with us.

And the two idiots just managed to make my day in just a second too.

They might not know it, but they saved my life tonight and I will always be grateful for that.

————
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