In all my years in Avonlea I hadn't once attended a wedding. It was just my luck that the first one I was to attend was Prissy's. She and Mr. Phillips were going to be married. Just the idea of it months ago would have had me bawling my eyes out in my pillow. But I had grown used to the thought of losing her, and although it still pained me she seemed to have really wanted it. Who was I to get in the way of her happiness?

All I would have to do now was to begin removing her from my heart. But she made it difficult to do so.

So when she ran off leaving Mr. Phillips at the altar hope bloomed inside me that I had to ignore in chase of her. As I reached her side the smile etched on her face was enough to have me smiling back at her. She began to laugh and the sound of it had me doing the same.

Even months after the incident, it seemed that her decision was for the best. Although some would have disagreed.

"How did you feel when you got engaged?" I asked her and from the way she stiffened I knew I had struck a nerve. Months later and the topic was still a sore subject to talk about. Unconsciously I found her hand and held it beneath mine as I murmured apologies.

"I felt ecstatic," she told me dismissing my words. I supposed I would have felt the same if I thought it was the right person. But it wasn't the right person so I didn't. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." At the look on my face she knew to drop the topic and squeezed my hand gently, unaware of how that small gesture made my heartbeat pick up.

Deciding it was best to break the silence I spoke about the rumors that were going around. Apparently we were to have a new teacher, a woman. And from what I've heard, she was a case.

"Mother didn't like her," Prissy said and I could only wonder what she had done to get on her mother's bad side.

"If she's better than Mr. Phillips I won't mind," At one of the girls response to Prissy I looked to see her reaction. Her smile dimmed and she couldn't meet my eyes.

"Jane what do you think?" I had asked the question to fill the silence and only when she spoke did I turn to see Prissy again. She had been looking right back at me for comfort as I saw her eyes glaze over.

But as the door opened I moved my eyes to see the teacher coming in, unaware of how close we had gotten.

~~~

Even as the school day ended I could tell that Prissy had still been thinking of Anne's words from earlier. To clear her head of any negativity I strode to her side and wrapped my arm around her. Taken by surprise she went to push me away until she saw who it was. With a small laugh she stepped in closer and we walked towards her house.

It had become our tradition to walk to hers and spend the day together. But now, with my parents constantly on my back, it was an escape. With a skip in my step I went on about anything that popped up in my mind. Even if she did comment on my uncharacteristic behavior.

"When my parents heard of Miss Stacey you would have thought it was the end of the world. They were downright shocked." Laughing at my words I felt her move away to look at me. It came to no surprise at how her smile affected me in ways not much did.

"I believe it alright ," she began. Pulling even farther away from me as she took my hand in hers and continued, "What I don't believe is how worse your parents are than mine."

Her words held the truth. After all my complaints, the picture she had of them had been how I had viewed them. Controlling and heartless.

And it wasn't an exaggeration. Ever since I was deemed old enough to get married they were quick to search for suitors. They had told me only last week that they found a suitable man to have me married off to. We were to meet before the wedding and I constantly tried putting it off. I had no say in the wedding and if I had a choice I would have run away. Although it seemed over the top it was my only opportunity to have my freedom. Who known maybe I could find love and spend the rest of my life with them in isolation.

"What's up with you?" At the lack of my contribution to the topic of conversation Prissy looked to me concerned. It almost made me believe she returned my feelings. "You became quiet all of a sudden, is something on your mind?"

Coming up with an excuse I said, "I'm just thinking of the amount of work I have to do when I get home."

"You don't have to go home," she said with a smile. "You can stay at mine. My parents won't mind."

"No, it's fine." The amount of time we already spent together was enough. If she saw the way I retreated into myself she said nothing. I took my hand away from hers and avoided her eyes. Although I hadn't wanted to I said, "If I don't get started now I don't know when I'll finish. I'll see you tomorrow."

Without another word I left her standing there and walked away. No matter how many times I tried to delude myself into thinking she felt the same as I did, I had to remind myself that it was only my wishful thinking.

Lost in my thoughts I finally made it home and as I tried to make my presence unknown, my mother was at the door as I closed it. And to think I could have sneaked my way past her bat like ears.

"It's about time you got home." She came up to me to take my things away. The gesture although uncharacteristic of her, was appreciated. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and think my life choices over, not that I had many. "I don't know why we let you go to school if your not going to college."

"My day was fine thanks for asking." I saw her eyes roving over me and she shot me a look of distaste. "If you need me I'll be in my room," I said as I excused myself. I went to leave and just as I had made it to the staircase a voice called out for me.

"Not so fast young lady you have yet to greet our guest," my father said. The sunken feeling in my stomach made me stop in my step. Before I could turn around I heard as someone approached me. Without needing to ask I knew who it was but father still told me. My eyes as my mothers had before roved over him.

He didn't look as I had imagined, which might have been a good thing. He was young. He was handsome, but not in the way it made my heart flutter.

Going to shake his hand instead he took mine in his and pressed a kiss to the back of it. I smiled at him making sure not to show my displeasure at the action. I walked down the steps and went to his side looking to my parents for what to do. But instead they left the parlour leaving us unattended.

Knowing I couldn't do anything to ward him off I sent him another smile and hoped that he was kind enough to return it. He did.

"Your parents were telling me about you," be began with a shy smile. He looked away as if bashful.

"What did they say may I ask?" Curiously I looked to him. I poured myself a cup of tea and did the same for him.

"Nothing bad I can assure you."

"Since you happen to know me why don't I get to know you."

And that was how I spent my afternoon even if I did want to run back to Prissy.

~~~

Weeks after having met Charles wasn't enough to have me falling for him. Even if he was kind and loving. It wouldn't do him any good to be spending his time with me when he could have been looking for someone who could love him back.

But as much as I was trying I couldn't. I knew that.

As I had done countless times before I pondered on my marriage. I hadn't noticed how Prissy shook me back to reality. Throughout the past few weeks she was getting tired of my secrecy. She had resulted in trying to get me to talk to her but if I did there would possibly be no hope for us. Even if there never was or ever will be.

"I'm worried about you." She raised an eyebrow at my continued silence. I didn't know what to say even as her eyes peered deep in my soul."I'm trying my best to get you back to how you were before, but I can't. If you only told me what it is that's bothering you I can help."

"I don't want your help," I said more coldly than I thought possible.

"You might not want it but you certainly need it." I heard the disdain in her voice. Before she could make a move to take my hands as she wanted I shuffled away. With a sigh she said, "I've been watching you go about your day as if everything's perfectly fine but I know you better. I'm only going to ask this one more time, are you okay Y/n?"

"I'm fine."

"We both know that's not true but I'll drop it for now."

"Prissy," I began feeling the guilt rise up. I cleared my throat and looked to her. Even if I wanted to look away I stared into her eyes and asked, "Will you always be by my side?"

"As long as you'll have me."

"Forever then," I said with a laugh to relieve the tension.

"Forever," she repeated. She took her pinky out and led it out towards me. I hooked it with mine and smiled at her.

The words were at the tip of my tongue but I held them back. If I said them out loud I was afraid she would hear the real meaning behind them.

It was all there

I love you

~~~

School was finally over and although I should have been overjoyed at summer break I wasn't. This was what my parents were waiting for since arranging the marriage.
Now word was out of my engagement and sure enough Mrs. Lynde spread it like wildfire.

I had been meaning to speak with Prissy about it but by the time I had the courage she had heard of it.

"You're getting married?" She asked. Just as I had been at her she was angry. But hers was justifiable. I was her best friend and I hadn't told her I was getting married. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a secret," I said I stead of the words I'd wanted to say.

"A summer wedding," with a sigh she laid back in my bed. I went to her side but didn't lie down. "Different to mine. Are you excited about it?"

"Truthfully, I'm more nervous than I am excited."

"That's normal," she said as she pulled me back.

For a moment the room fell in silence. Neither of us wanted to break it. But even so I needed to speak in the matter.

"He wants to move to France after the wedding," I quietly said and I felt her stiffen at my words, her hand stopped pushing the hair out of my face.

"You told him no right?"

"I don't have much of a say," I said honestly. Laying over on my side I watched as she did the same. We were now closer than ever. I felt my heart fasten and cursed myself that I still felt for her. Ignoring it I continued to say, "My parents don't want me to chase him off if I say the wrong thing."

I hadn't noticed I was fidgeting until she placed a hand over mine. I started at the contact for a moment until I had to meet her eyes. "You know how we promised to be by each other's side?" I nodded as she rubbed a finger over the palm of my hand. "We can't do that if you leave. I don't want you to leave."

I licked my lips as I took a breath at the close proximity. If I wanted I could pull away but I don't think I did. Some part of me thought she didn't want to either. "Who knows? Maybe I'll come visit you."

And just as before the room fell in silence, but not for long.

"That won't be enough." As she let go of my hand she perched up on her elbows looking me over. "What if instead of marrying him you marry someone else?"

"He's probably the best choice," I said pondering over her words. "He's nice, better than I could've asked for."

"I love you Y/n." The words seemed to render me speechless. But I passed them off even as she looked to me expectantly.

"And I love you," I said as her eyes pierced through me. Taking a turn of the topic I went back to what we were previously on."But your plans are proving useless."

"No, I love you. Marry me."

"You don't mean that." I sat up wiping my eyes in the process before she could see the tears in my eyes.

"I do." From the way the sheets of my bed were moving around she was moving toward me.

"Let's say that you did, we couldn't marry even if we wanted to."

I felt her chin rest on my shoulder and it was my mistake to look towards her. I saw as she glanced down at my lips but I didn't give her a chance to make the move.

I moved before she could make her descent and saw her face fall. I stood up pacing the room.

"Let's runaway."

"There's no hope for us," I said with a strangled cry.

~~~

I had not thought the last time I would have seen Prissy before my wedding was at the service. I had wanted to catch up to her and tell her everything I was too afraid to say the last time we met up. But it seemed too late for that.

Walking down the aisle I searched the room for her and when I found her she was smiling at me. Even in a situation such as this she would be smiling.

Reaching Charles' side he held my hands steadily. They were cold on mine and I couldn't help but compare them to Prissy's.

With a breath I tried to pay attention to the words the priest was saying but I couldn't. My eyes moved to Prissy. It only took a moment to realize that I would be throwing my life away. A life I had not wanted but was forced upon.

Was this what Prissy felt? They eyes of dozens of people on you as you contemplated your mistake. I looked over to Charles and saw his smile dim. I had not been as sucky at hiding my emotions as I had though. He seemed to see right through me. He loosened his hold on my hands and I took it as the opportunity to run away.

My head was still spinning even as I heard the calls of protests and shouts of my name. I wondered whether I would be stopped. Whether Prissy would run after me or stay behind.

I ran and I didn't stop to look back to my parents calling out my name. Even in a dress I could run so I did as fast as my legs could take me. I ran to the cliff top by the ocean. It had taken some time but I had made it. My knees buckled underneath me as I let myself breath freely. The wind in my face and nothing but peace.

It was a way to clear my head.

Just as I had opened my eyes I saw Prissy step in front of me evening her breath out. "You're crazy."

She took my face in my hands and I leaves in closer to her.

"Then you're just as sane as I am," letting go of any doubts I made to move close to her. Taking her face in my hands as she had done I saw her eyes widen before she nodded and i quickly crashed my lips on hers. They were sweet like candy and it took everything in me to pull away

"Did I mention I love you." The feeling of her lips grazing mine made my heart melt.

"Once or twice," I answered gazing into her eyes.

"What's the plan?"

-

This is so rushed I kind of hate it but it's an update. Yay!

Also not edited so there might me some mistakes.