Requested by ScooterBooterBike

More often than not Josie would come by and spend the night. To say the least it seemed like she spent more time here than she did in her own home. Which was undoubtedly the reason I kept to staying in my room. I didn't need to see her for more time than I needed. Which was at school and, at times, dinner.

Upon hearing the knock on my door announcing supper I closed my notebook shut and set it down at the end of my bed. Getting up I moved over to my dresser and fixed my hair, it had been a habit of mine since Josie pointed it out. Probably one of the reasons I resented her, because of all the things she tried fixing about me.

Taking one last look at myself I walked to my door and headed downstairs to the kitchen. In there i could see Josie and Jane talking to each other. Without paying any mind to them as I passed I helped set the dinner table.

It didn't take long and soon the whole family had made their way to the dining area. Steering myself away from Josie I chose to sit as far away as I could from her. It didn't help that anywhere I decided to sit either Billy or Jane would rope me into a conversation in which Josie was a part of. For which I was glad Prissy had decided to join us for Christmas holidays.

Christmas was a few days away and I still had no idea why Josie hung around here when it was a time for family. Pushing that thought away I sat by Prissy and mom. "What are you planning on doing for the holidays?"

"Probably spend some time with my friends and get out of the house." My eyes instinctively went to Josie who coincidentally was sat across from me. I cleared my throat hoping Prissy wouldn't notice my mistake but from the look in her face she could tell. "Maybe if mom and dad allow it I could spend a few days at my friends."

I raised my voice a little to catch their attention and it worked as their eyes moved onto me. I smiled sheepishly at them as I twirled my food around. They casted glanced at each other as if communicating telepathically and I had to sit and watch in silence for them to come to an agreement as they nodded to each other.

Turning to look at my dad he let out a sigh and I could almost feel the relief bubbling up as the rest of the table became quiet with anticipation. "You have to be back on Christmas day."

I felt like a hypocrite. But if it meant not seeing Josie it was fine by me.

I got up from my chair and walked over to him to give him a hug. Billy could think all he wanted about being the favorite but we all knew better. "Can i begin packing?"

He rubbed his hand over his hand but he had already gave in. A nod was all I needed to leave the room with a thank you and I raced to my room. They didn't need to know but I had already taken a bag out for my things. It was currently sitting in the corner of the room.

As I picked it up I could hear footsteps behind me and a knock at my door. It opened with the gentleness of the motion and I could see Prissy peering in. Letting herself in she sat in my bed as I rummaged through my closet. "Who are you staying with?"

"Delilah, she's already talked with her parents about me sleeping over." I take out my clothes and set them down on the bed as I hear another knock. This time announcing themselves as I turned around and saw them in my room. Has anyone ever heard of privacy? Ignoring them as they sit by Prissy I continue to look through my clothes. "We've already planned what we're going to do over break. But the first thing she wants to do is go ice skating."

"You don't know how to ice skate," Prissy said with a laugh and I joined her before I heard Josie start talking.

"Didn't you mention something about skating? We should do that." I looked up to see Josie questioning Jane. Rolling my eyes I look away.

"The other day you told me that sounded boring," Jane said and I snickered as Josie was caught in a lie. "Besides I mentioned going to one of Billy's games."

"If Billy's going than I am." I looked at Jane to see her rolling her eyes. I never understood why she was friends with her if she couldn't stand her at times. At least that was something we had in common. Not that we had anything in common. "When's the game?"

Rather than listening to their conversation I took a pile of my clothes and fit them in my bag. I hated putting up a facade in front of Prissy. After a few minutes I was done and I turned to look at Prissy. "What are your plans?"

"My friend and I were planning on Christmas shopping. Which reminds me I also have to get her something," she muttered the last few words as a mental note for herself and I almost brushed it off before remembering who her said friend was. There was a reason she didn't mention a name.

"Are you bringing her over for Christmas dinner?" I asked recalling a conversation Prissy and I had about one of her friends spending the holidays alone. The room fell quite, the silence was demeaning as all eyes turned to us. Even if it was two pairs the weight on both was too much.

"I'll make sure to ask."

~~~

It seemed I couldn't escape her as my friends and I reached the ice rink. I tugged at Delilah's arm and she turned around in a flash, making me wonder if she got whiplashed. My eyebrows furrowed, laced with concern before she shook her head as an indication she was alright. "Do you want to come back another day?"

Her mouth gaped open and I immediately felt bad but the dread of having to see Josie overpowered that feeling. She spun around to see what the reason might have been for my change of heart. While our other friends had stepped on the ice we were still feet away. "You can't run away from Josie forever."

"You don't understand I can't stand her." I tried explaining myself but she wouldn't see sense.

"You haven't even spoken to her once." I could see where she was going and I wanted to end this conversation before it progressed. And it was as if she knew what I was thinking that she shut me up. Her eyes widened into a stern look and I closed my mouth. With a finger raised she said, "At least make an effort before you decide to hate her."

"I've already decided." She gave me a look that silenced all my thoughts and I stared back at her more than a little intimidated.

"It wouldn't hurt to try." She murmured as we continued walking. She stepped on the ice and left me on my own
Looking around I could see Josie only a few feet away
I closed my eyes as I mentally prepared myself repeating her words.

With slow and measured steps I made it to her side and assumed she was a little surprised by my presence
I was a little hesitant especially with the way she was looking at me. As if though we were already friends. "I was wondering when I'd see you here."

"Lilah and I woke up later than we expected." I explained even though I didn't have to. But I did decide to listen to Lilah and as she saw us she wouldn't accept if I just left. "When did you get here?"

"We've been here a few hours." I nodded in acknowledgment. Noticing how she was rubbing at her arms. Normally I wouldn't do something like this but I took my gloves off to hand them to her. She looked down at them and shook her head.

"You're freezing." With a little more persuasion she gave in and I was glad my hands were naturally warm. Although at times I hated it, but it was on my side now. Waving goodbye with nothing else to say I reasoned she wasn't so bad. But it was one interaction. And I knew how first impressions lasted. Which was a reason my hatred for her had grown.

Looking at her she smiled at me and I reluctantly returned it. It wasn't like we would be anything more than acquaintances. Treading through the snow I sat down and immediately put my skates on.

"How did it go?" Seeing Delilah approach me as I finished tying my skates I extended my arms and she took them in hers. "I couldn't tell since you both had different expressions on your face."

I rolled my eyes and looked at her as she guided me throughout the ice. Hoping to change the subject I asked, "Did I ever tell you I don't know how to skate?"

She made a motion as though she were going to pull away and I immediately latched on to her. Laughing I could feel her chest move under my touch as my arms engulfed her. My heart was beating out of my throat and I could feel her arms moving up slowly to steady me in place. "Is she as bad as you expected?"

I didn't want to answer knowing if I did I would prove her right. So I said nothing, which was just like admitting she was right and I was wrong. And I didn't like being wrong.
"When does the game start again I want to leave before it begins."

"You know Kayla wants to watch it," she groaned and I was glad she had left our conversation behind and out of mind. But her emotions changed with it as she looked at me pleadingly and a little resentfully.

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Marissa and Talia are leaving to go home and do their chores and if you go that leaves me."

"You don't have to stay." She groaned in frustration as if I didn't quite understand her and I was beginning to think I didn't. Spinning around to calm her breathing she took a moment for herself and faced me again. "No one is forcing you to stay. Besides I can't leave without you, you're the one with the keys."

She had a smile on her face at my words. "Then don't leave, like you said I'm the one with the keys and if I have to stay so do you." I rolled my eyes giving up as I knew she would be stubborn and our conversation would go nowhere if I tried persuading her. "We're her only friends and she needs time to adjust. And who else would help me with her and Moody?"

I could have just as easily taken the keys that she so tauntingly held back and forth in my face but I didn't. Looking to Kayla I could see she was watching intently as Moody talked to his friends. Giving in I looked back at Delilah and she immediately knew my answer as she took me by the arm and dragged me to where Kayla was standing.

"The game starts in an hour," She said without turning her head. How she knew I was going to ask was beyond me and how she knew it was us I had no idea but I let the thought go as Jane approached me.

Turning to her curiously I wondered what she wanted before I saw her friends following in tow behind her. "I heard you wanted to leave, you're not going to leave before watching Billy play."

What was with her and making decisions for me. I understood she was older but not my much. She has such an older sister complex it infuriated me at times. "Whats it to you?"

She didn't answer as she shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes focused on what was in front of her to care about answering my question. And she wondered why we didn't get along at times. "Do you still want to continue skating?"

Delilah nodded her head as she eyed Jane. After years of complaining about her I think I rubbed off on her. Rolling her eyes she held my hand and helped me on the ice. To say she was a natural wouldn't come close to describing her but as she slowly loosened her grip on me I felt unbalanced.

"Do not let me go," I sternly said as I tightened my hold on her hands. But they easily slipped through as a smile made it's way to her face. Waving my hands uncontrollably I felt as though k was falling back and as I braced for impact I felt my body righten itself. Hands made their way to my own and I looked to see Josie. Instead of thanking her I said, "I didn't know you could skate."

"I've been practicing these past few days," she claimed And as if she needed to explain more she added, "I asked Billy to teach me."

"I'm surprised you learned, he tried teaching me once and let's just say it didn't go well." It might have been long ago but I still remembered how he blatantly gave up after an hour of no progress. Rolling my eyes at the memory I realized we had been skating together. My heart beat faster when I saw she had let go.

I looked at her and saw her smile as my nerves calmed down. All it took was a few minutes compared to the hour long practice. This was the second time she had taken me by surprise.

Maybe I should stop pretending.

~~~

Today was the last day I would be at Delilah's and we still had one more thing to do before break was over.

I waited for Delilah on her front porch hearing the commotion coming from inside as I assumed she was still looking for her coat. We were already late to meet up with our friends so I still had yet to figure out why she wasn't hurrying up.

Letting out a sigh I stood up to go back inside when the door opened reveling she was ready to go. "I thought I'd have to leave you."

She let out a groan and my brows furrowed in confusion. Looking to where her eyes were I could see Jane Billy and Josie walking together a few feet away. Turning to look at Delilah I widened my eyes trying to communicate with her through them.

Hearing their footsteps grow closer I spun back around and felt Delilah take my hand.

Jane walked ahead as I could see Billy trying and failing to get close to Josie. I rolled my eyes as Jane approached us. "Can I join you? I can't seem to get them off my back."

Delilah and I shared looks, and before we came to an agreement we looked at the couple behind Jane. Josie looked as though she wasn't paying attention to a word Billy was saying. At least we had something in common. But why she continued to let him court her I could not even think to imagine.

"We're going to Talias birthday party," Delilah explained as if her words would convince Jane to think twice about accompanying us. But instead of taking the hint she had a wide smile as she pulled us apart and linked our arms.

I looked back and saw Delilah already looking at me. She nodded toward Jane and I shrugged my shoulders. "Can i bring some friends?"

She took our silence as a yes and we didn't bother saying anything. I let out a breath and prepared myself for the next few hours. I knew my day would be ruined the moment I saw them but I hoped for the best.

-

As we walked to Talias house where the party had already begun I slipped away to greet her. I immediately felt Delilah's cold hands in mine and was assured we had left them behind. Walking to the parlor room I spotted Talia with the rest of our friends and classmates and I went in for a hug. "Happy birthday! Did you get our presents?"

Her eyes widened and she said, "I was wondering who that was from, thank you."

Kayla and Marissa stepped forward and I embraced them in a hug. As we began to talk I noticed Kayla's eyes drifting to something behind us. We could all tell after an hour of conversing that she had not heard one word. I didn't have to turn to know it was Moody she had her eyes on this entire time. She was never in her right mind whenever he was around. Her head turned around us and I moved to give her a better view. Looking at Delilah we shared a look and I dismissed myself.

This seemed to catch her attention as we all laughed at her and I left in search of Moody who had left the room. Walking through the house I looked at everyone in case I had missed him. But it would be hard to miss Moody.

Turning the corner into the kitchen I stumbled upon someone and an apology immediately left my lips. Locking eyes with Josie I stumbled back to keep my distance and cleared my throat unsure of what else to say. "You're in a rush. Where are you going?"

I could see a drink in her hand and Billy a few feet away watching her intently. The look in his eyes was dazed as she looked the same. I could tell he liked her.

"I'm trying to find someone," I explained without revealing much. I didn't need her asking anymore questions as I tried loving past her but she wouldn't let me. I couldn't bring myself to move as her eyes followed me.

"Can I accompany you?" It seemed she was trying to occupy her mind so I conceded.

With a simple nod she took to my side as I went in search of Moody. And she was silent through it all. As I climbed the stairs to the second floor I looked behind to see if Josie was still there. And in prescinde she was but her mind wasn't. "Are you alright?"

She shook her head as though shaking her thoughts and composed herself enough to look me in the eyes with all the seriousness she could possess. Walking ahead of me she turned to the bathroom and tried opening the door with no luck. It was obvious someone was in there so she moved along to the next room. Following quickly behind with far too many questions she could answer we made our way to an empty room and she headed for the window.

Opening it she let the cold wind flow in and the weight on her shoulders seemed to have lifted. She looked less tense than when I found her. Her eyes were closed as her heavy breathing became steady.

Before I could ask the question that had been playing in my mind she said, "I can't keep seeing Billy."

Her words had me confused as moments earlier they couldn't seem to separate from each other. Or rather he couldn't seem to leave her side.

"I thought things were going well between the two of you," I muttered as she hung her head low. The silence of the night had only made her crying seem louder than it was. I cleared my throat when she didn't respond and stood next to her with my back on the wall. My eyes didn't leave her as a tear trickled down her face and she turned to look away. "I don't know what it is about you—"

I stopped to gather my thoughts as her head turned to look at me intriguingly. Her hand wiped her face as she leaned closer to hear what I had to say. Her lips were parted and I looked away before she could notice.

"But you make him a better person." She took a step back as if that wasn't what she wanted to hear. And it wasn't what I wanted to say either. "I have to go. I still need to find Moody."

Without another word I left the room and the distance from the door seemed to last forever as I finally stepped foot outside in the hallway. With a deep sigh I closed my eyes leaning against the door. "Something on your mind?"

I knew that voice from anywhere. Moody was stood at the top of the stairs as he made his way over to me. But before he could reach me I fastened my pace and took a hold of his hand. "I've been looking for you."

"Inside that room?" He said with a laugh which went unappreciated as I led him to Kayla.

"You know my friend Kayla right?"

~~~

Christmas Day had not been all that I had expected. It left a void in me I needed to fill but to do that I would have to talk to Josie. And I hadn't talked to her since, which were the longest three weeks in my life. Avoiding her in my home became easier though. Because if I did face her it would bring back feelings of that day. Feelings in which I wanted to forget.

Making my way downstairs with my book in hand I made sure my steps were quiet as I raced to the parlor room. I had yet to unpack my bag from upstairs but I figured I could leave it to another day. But I knew somewhere in the back of my mind I would have to do it today.

Setting my book down I looked around for a pencil and saw one at the end of my dads desk. Taking it from his office I headed back to the parlor and made myself comfortable on the couch. This weekend was a needed break as it was the only day in which I was left alone with my thoughts. Which often was a bad thing.

Staring out the window I tapped the pencil on my notepad and could see Josie through the window. Wondering what she was doing I went to the door and opened it before I could hear a knock on her side of the door. Startling her I gave her a smile to ease her and she returned it with one of her own. "If you're looking for Billy he's still asleep, and if you're looking for Jane she is too."

I thought that would be the end of it but she stopped me with a shake of her head. "I'm actually here to talk to you."

I looked away from her curious as to why she was here for me. But I had a few ideas. Furrowing my brows I looked back at her incredulously and let her in without another word. "I apologize for whatever I did to make you hate me."

Although I knew my hatred for her was obvious I hated how she made me feel when she said those words. Because truth was hatred wasn't the reason I was avoiding her now. And maybe it hadn't been for a while now. My feelings always did conflict me. I even thought I had feelings for Delilah at one point. Not that I ever told her but i think she knew.

"It's all in the past," I said truthfully hoping I didn't have to explain and hoped that she believed me. Because if I said another word I worried the whole truth would leave my lips.

"I hope not all of its in the past." I knew what she referred to. Before I could hold her back from her words she spoke again. "You like Moody i get it I saw you with him the other night." At this point she was grasping for something that wasn't there. She was being delusional if she thought i had feelings for him when she had clouded my mind since the revelation of my feelings for her and well before that. "And don't deny it because I saw you holding hands."

"I don't like Moody," I said going against her advice of denying it.

"Then what other reason—" She fell silent as footsteps were heard walking down the stairs. Rolling my eyes at the interruption I took her hand and headed out the door. No one would look out there and we would have the privacy we needed. "What other reason would warrant avoiding me and your feelings?"

"I could list a few." I didn't notice her hand still in mine as she stroked her thumb across my palm. As weird as it sounded it was soothing. I felt my eyes tear up and tears fell before I could do anything about it. "Whatever we have we can't do anything about it."

My voice broke at my words. Every emotion I've felt for the past month unwinding into this moment.

"Jane mentioned you'd say that." I looked into her eyes curiously at what she meant. At what she could have meant and endless possibilities came up. Surely she wouldn't tell her. "She's the one who encouraged me to follow my heart. And you're it."

I don't know how true her words had been. And she was it for me too. I pulled her close her touch wasn't enough with the distance I had created.

This would have to suffice.