Book: Code Blue
Author: Aurora and Athena
parineeta3107

TOTAL: 71/100

Every story has pros and cons and so has yours. I read your story and by providing the review it will only help you to improvise your writing.

Starting with the thing which ran in my mind all through the story was bondita was way too harsh on Anirudh. Means if he hid something it had a reason and she was being childish enough not to understand him. Choti-moti nok jhok would have been okay but his mistake was not that big that he had to see his wife becoming widow in front of his eyes.

The way tapur changed sides was strange. Once she asked him to not unfold this thing in front of ANYONE!! and the next moment she changed and said bondita not comes in this category.

Anirudh seemed a bit helpless and him not taking a stand seeing two ladies becoming a widow infront of his eyes among whom one was his wife itself even if he was in a very emotional state and him not knowing a way to seek bondita's forgiveness was unacceptable.

Thats why I have deducted marks in character development and this is the sole reason why the plot digraded a bit as it was rotating around the same thing.

But inspite of this the way bondita took a stand for herself fearlessly was marvelous and her way of that tit for tat thing to show him her feelings was cherry on top. The way tapur took a stand for her sister and confronted ani was fab and proves the point that he is like a brother so she has that she has a very right on him which a sister have

Taking about the way you write you have to make improvements in it. You have to try to narrate each and every thing as if its a movie running in front of your eyes and not just that this thing and that thing happened. Like in the following paragraph.......

Anirudh consoled her and wiped her
tears... As Anirudh was about to kiss
her, Bondita stopped him and told him that she would agree to his conditions but she has a condition... When asked,she tells that he needs to keep upthe transperancy promise and thenonly she would consummate their Marriage...

The way you have portrayed that bondita stooped him, agreed to his condition etc. you can use dialogues in this place it would be more interesting and will kill the feeling of rush which is taking birth in here.

Some of the words are not proper like "asha karti hu ki aise ek aur mauka mile" it should be "aisa" and then "ki hu" it should be "karti hu" etc. you should recheck it once as this can be the work of our on the top keyboard.

The authors para you gave in the starting of each chapter contains the hint like this is gonna happen in this chapter which is killing the suspense. And in some dialogue you didn't wrote who said it. This way of writing dialogue can be used when two people are talking but if there are more it creates a confusion as who is saying what.

And yes Anirudh didn't knew that bondita was ill so how his alter egos did ?? Afterall its him only...

The shayari , by god it was marvelous I have no words for it each sentence brought a smile on my face and as I said I have no words I will just say keep it up!

Conclusion:
Try to improve the way you portray your characters and keep their characteristics in mind. Because characteristics only make a character . Add a bit more description of tge scenes you are showing. You are working hard and I am sure you will rock ..