For the past few months, Agnus and I have been setting up the nursery. I love setting things up to look pretty.

Anyway, Yusuf is in his crib while I lay on the side sofa. The sound of foot steps approaching catches my attention so I quickly fake sleep. It's a habit from being on my phone at 3 am when my mom came to check on me, scary.

I hear someone come in and stop in front of me, walk to the other side to open the closet, and then feel them put a blanket over me.

When I think the coast is clear, I squint my eyes open. It's Elias, and he's in the corner of the nursery, praying Salah. Wait did I pray, oh wait, after giving birth you don't pray for a good month or two. Oh my god, that means I can get my nails done! Yay.

As I stare at the decor on the walls for a bit, I hear Elias clear his throat. I quickly shut my eyes hoping he didn't notice.

"I saw you."

Ugh. I slowly open my eyes.

"How're you feeling?"

"Surprisingly perfect. Alhamdulillah." Honestly I thought people would feel kind of sick the weeks after giving birth, but for me, I feel better than ever.

"Amara do you want to talk about yesterday?"

I roll to the side. "What more is there to say?"

"Jenny was broke. She had nowhere to go. When I dated her, I made her quit her job at the club and promised to provide for her if she stayed with me..."

Does that even make anything better? I let him continue.

"Wallah I didn't love her. I let my ego take a hold of me. I was a bad person Mar. But it would be unmerciful to throw her on the streets after I was the one in the wrong. So I gave her a place to stay."

I think for a bit. Okay that's what Jenny told me. "What about you visiting her?"

"I admit I did go to the penthouse a couple times. But it was for paper work or electrical related things. I promise. I even made her go upstairs so I can check everything with my workers."

I don't know if I should trust him.

"Please believe me. Wallah I'm telling the truth.."

He did say wallah. Just then Agnus walks in.

"Amara dear- oh did I interrupt?"

"No not at all."

"Here's a glass of water, I also ordered the baby things you told me to."

"Thank you. Also can you book an appointment at the nail salon please?" I expect her to say yes, but she looks at Elias.
"Why're you looking at him for, does he want his nails done too?"

"No it's just that I can't book anything without his per-."

Elias cuts her off, "Yes it's okay with me. I'll take her myself." How lovely.

-

"Please Amara I don't want to." Elias pleads.

"You have to."

"No."

I made an angry face and look away. I hear Elias groan, "Fine." I smile.

The poor Spa lady had to wait for me to convince him. "Yes he wants a mani padi done while I get my nails done." I smile at her.

"Right this way."

I get seated at the nail table while Elias sits on the pedicure chair while he continuously gives me unamused looks. He's such a drama queen.

I be basic and choose an all white for all my nails. I look to check on Elias and see him making funny faces as the man scrubs his feet. I cant help but laugh at him. I look away just as he catches me laughing because I see him slightly raise an eyebrow.

I just get flustered when he does things like that, I can't stand looking at him. Even when I was younger, I couldn't say a word to my crushes because I'd be intimidated. Did I just compare Elias with a crush...ew.

We walk to the car as I admire my nails, I can stare at newly done nails for hours.

"Let me see." Elias holds my hands to examine my nails. After a moment, "Beautiful."

I press my lips together because once again, I cannot take compliments.

Elias's hands on the steering wheel actually look nice. Especially with his tattoos. I mean the manicure.

It's good that I made him do something for himself for once. Him and I have just been so busy the past few days because Yusuf would be keeping us up all night. I finally got the baby to sleep while Agnus was with him, right before we left.

Elias repeatedly blowing towards his forehead catches my attention.

"What're you doing?"

"Blowing my hair out of my eyes." His hair is pretty fluffy and long from the top, but they don't cover his eyes. Once again he's having a drama queen moment.

"Pull over for a sec." I tell him.

"Why?"

"Just do." He finally pulls over.

I take the scrunchie off my wrist. "Come closer." I gesture him.

"Gladly." He smirks.

I roll my eyes as I leave forward to put his hair together into a mimi ponytail on the top of his head. I smile at my work. I take Elias's phone and take a picture, his hairstyle looks so cute.

He looks at the picture then back at me boredly.

"Stop you look cute." Frick.  "The hair. Like the hair style. I made it like look cute.."

"Mhm." He hums to himself as he drives back onto the road. Someone needs to deflate his ego, I'd love to.

His hairstyle reminds me of my baby pictures when my mom used to do hairstyles on my very short hair.

I miss my mom. Even though for the past few  years we weren't close because of my dad passing away. I doubt she's even fazed about not being able to see me. But whatever it is, she's still my mom. The same mom that raised me. The same mom who loved to go on family trips with dad. And the same mom who's now lost her sparkle.

We arrive at the mansion but I don't get out of the car. "Elias."

"Yes ma'am." He says as he turns of the car.

"I want to meet my mom." I don't like his reaction. He seems kind of disappointed.

"Amara...you can't-."

"Why not. She's my mother. I've been stuck with you for months, for gods sake I even have a child now. My mom would love to meet her grandchild."

"It's dangerous." He looks as if he feels bad, but if he really did, he'd let me go to her.

"How!"

"I cant risk having people find out who your mom is. She'll be put in danger, and I don't want that to happen."

"How would that even happen?" I ask annoyed.

"Amara you do know that I have, many, and I mean a lot of enemies. They aren't just people who hold grudges, they're people that track my every move and destroy what matters to me. It's part of the reason I keep you at home."

"And who got me into this in the first place..." I say calmly as anger begins to boil inside of me.

"Mari..."

"Don't- don't even start. You selfish..." I think of more insults, "Self centred evil psychopath!" I get out of the car stepping into the rain, making sure to slam the car door after me. I know guys hate that. 

Of course prince charming comes following after me. The rain starts to shower on me completely. "Amara wait." He stops me. "Mara. I'm sorry. And I am so so Sorry. I mean it."

"You're not! And an apology won't fix anything. It won't fix my life. It won't fix the destroyed life plan I used to have. And it won't fix that fact that most importantly, you kidnapped me!" I yell as loud as I can through the thunder.

"Amara. I'm a bad person and I make mistakes, I know! Okay, I know. I have prayed for forgiveness everyday ever since. But you're right about one thing, I am selfish. And I'm so sorry that I am. I'm selfish with you. I need you."

"I-I don't know what the hell to say Elias!" My stress levels are at an all time high.

He takes a step closer to hold me. "Then don't Mar. Don't say anything. I just need one thing, please forgive me."

I let my tears blend in with the rain on my face. "Elias.." I cry.

"Amara. I love you. I have loved you since the day I laid my eyes on you. I love you even more every day of my life. And I will always love you, in this world and the next. I love you."

I just break down in tears. My life has to be the most chaotic one to exist.

Elias holds my chin and whispers, "Is it okay if I..."

I lean in as he gives me a kiss. As my clothes get heavy from the water. As his mini ponytail tips down as it gets soaked. I don't know how to explain my emotions or thoughts, but all I know is that this time, I wanted to kiss him...

________________________

firstly I love every one of you guys who are enjoying this book, it means a lot.

also, I didn't know I had to say this again but, if you don't like mafia romance, then you shouldn't hate on this book because it kinda is a mafia romance. Like you chose to read it. if you genuinely don't enjoy it then don't read, i promise i'm not forcing you.

If you want a normal cute romance, read my other book 'twisted.' <3

What do you guys think so far?!!
(don't say "take this part out" or smtg pls, cuz i won't)

<3