track 5 - i want it all

trigger warnings: vaping, slight drinking and slight nsfw ;)

- - - -

clay woke up in cold sweats, bedsheats lightly sticking to his body as he kicked them off.

wiat was that a dream? thank god.

wait, i dreamt that? what the fuck is happening to me.

his mind started racing as he tried to recall the dream. but its hard. the only thing he can remember is the feeling of skin on skin and soft lips on his neck. it felt so real?

he felt so real

wait a guy? yeah it was definitely a guy.

he closes his eyes to try and recall more of what happend

he remembers the raven haired boy sloppily kissing his lips and immediately something flutters in his stomach, the feeling slowly going more and more towards his v-line

george.

he dreamed about kissing- no, having SEX with is best friend.

thats not okay, come on dude i know you've fallen for him but isn't this a bit to far to fast?

he remembers the way he yelled his name and then everything comes back to him, the image of them on that bed slwoly forming a bulge in his boxers.

no no nono this can't happen, ignore it, just go do something else, distraction. yeah yeah distraction.

he gets up and walks over to his desk, sitting down uncomfortably. deciding to just play some games and wait till ~it goes away.

be clicks the space bar of his gaming keyboard a few times in hope that this will fasten up the process of booting up his pc and atfer a few seconds the screens flashes on, slighty lighting up the dimly lit room.

his eyes shift to the corner of his desk where he threw his vape last night and reaches over to grab it. he sits back and rests the vape to his lips, inhaing the white smoke and throwing his head back while slowly blowing it back out.

his sceens load on, automatically loading twitch and discord on his side monitors.

the icons on the side of his screen on twitch show that george is streaming. he hesitates but clicks on it. the screen loads and soon shows the stream, facecam is on, minecraft moving behind him. karl and sapnap run though the screen and he notices the large buildings of the smp.

he looks over to the facecam while bringing the vape back up to his lips. pressing the button and allowing thr smoke to take up the space in his lungs, but coughs it back out as he catches George rolling his eyes.

god that's hot.

sapnaps character runs towards george and starts hitting him, he tries to fight back but fails miserly. the ''you died'' screen shows up but clay's seyes are glued to george. the older man throws his head back and grabs the top if his chair as he aggressively rolls his eyes.

his mind ran wild, thinking about kissing george, grabbing him by his hoodie, pulling him close.

no clay, stop.

he tried to stop thinking about it but it only got worse and worse. clay wanted to see him up close, so real.

god, what the hell is wrong with me?

and oh how bad dream wanted to se how beautiful he'd look all bruized up and under him. chocolate brown eyes staring up at him.

his thoughts only made the pressure in his boxers worse, and he knew that it was gonna take a a long time to wait for it to go away. but hell no, he was NOT touching himself because of what his mind made up about him and george.

so, he didn't. he grabbed the vape from where it had fallen to the ground and takes a long hit, holding it in for a while before blowing back out and turning to his discord.

he looks at the vc that his friends are in and gets up. he grabs a big, fuzzy blanet and his phone from his bed and tucks the vape in his hand before thowing the blanket around him

of course it was comfy, but it was mostly to cove rup the bulge in his sweats.

he walks over to sapnaps room and opens the door, geeting him with a ''good morning''

''hehe hey dream, good morning. you look,, comfy'' nick says as he looks over the blanket thats fully covering his body while dream buts the vape hack to his lips.

''george is yelling at you to join call, and isn't it a bit to early for that?'' sapnap eyed the smoke that's slowly coming out of dreams mouth. clay siply responded by flipping him off and then closing the door again.

as he walked to the kitchen he pulls out his phone, joining the call to sapnap talking with a meowing karl in the background.

''-s nothing george shut up'' sapnap says with a light smile

''yeah george, shut up.'' he says before placing his phone nown on the kitchen counter.

''DREAM'' george yelps happily.

''jesus, you sound like shit bro.''

''thanks Q, i just woke up.'' he replied as he turned back to his phone with a bowl in hand.

''yeah i can fucking hear that.''

''hey dream, what did sapnap mean with 'you look comfy' george really wants to know the fit check.'' karl says while slightly giggling.

dream almost chocked on another bit of white smoke but quickly huffed it out. ''okay fit check because george wants it so badly. im wearing a plain white shirt with gray sweatpants and i have this HUGE fuzzy blanked around me because its comfy.''

he pulls up stream just in time to see a soft smile starting to form on georges lips.

he giggles and brings the vape back up, ready for the white smoke to slowly intoxicate him and take over a part of his mind.

''its litrally a fucking souna in this house why are you wearing a blanket'' sapnap asks.

his cheeks flush and he blows out a cloud of smoke before hesitantly replying.

''its just comfortable.''

''thats fair but get out of that kitchen before its filled with smoke.'' sapnap replied

''wh- it doesnt even-'' he stops himself from exposing himself on vaping. ''im just grabbing cereal man why attck me like that.''

''wait aren't we out of your cerea- OMG KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY COCO PUFFS YOU ASSHOLE''

he heard him take off his headphones and running over to the kitchen. he started lauging and quickly made sure the blanket was still fully wrapped around his body.

''bro you're to late i already ate half a bowl. NO WATCH OUT YOU ARE GONNA MAKE A MESS.''

''I DONT CARE''

a few laughs could be heard from the phone that was still laying on the counter

''NICK STOP ITS GONNA GET ON THE BLANKET- NICK WHAT''

sapnap laughed loudly while dream started to wheeze, grabbing his phone and vape from the counter and leaving the bowl. he started to wobble back to his room.

''WHAT why are you after me i left the bowl, i surrender!!''

nick stopped running and turned back to the kitchen while clay closed his door and collasping in a fit of wheezes with the others laughing along from his phone speakers.

he gets up from where he fell to the ground and leaves call to join back on his pc. he pulls on his headsead and leans back again.

''dream get om minecraft.'' george says quickly.

''no. ask nicely.'' he replies while already starting up the game.

''ohmygod- dream coulf you please join the server.'' george says in a soft tone that sends tickles down his spine.

''fucking bottom'' he mumbles under his breath whil clicking on the server, but it was just loud enough for his mic to pick it up. quackity and karl expload with laughter as dreams character moves across his screen to go to where the others are.

''wh- what? what was that for?'' george asks, confused.

''did i fucking lie?'' clay says with the green stained vape between his lips. he presses the button and puts it back down.

quackity starts laughing even harder while georges nervous giggles can be heard in the background.

''laughing, but not denying.'' dream says as he arrives to the place. georges character runs up to dreams and hits him.

''i cant wait to do that irl.'' he says and turns away.

dream pulls out the netherite axe and starts killing george.

''wait- look at vc?''karl says and dream looks to his other monitor while deciding this is a good time to take another hit, white smoke filling his mouth and lungs while reading the message.

--karl: when are we telling them that we're flying out to dream and sap's in a month?

--dream: dont tell them. just be there when we stream, it would be way more fun.

--quackity: lol i almost forgot we were coming

--george: of course you did

''HEY what the fuck is that supposed to mean'' quackity says as karl and sapnap both start laughing.

''quackity, shut up.'' george says quickly.

dream just now realizes that george is comming to see him. and he knows that he is for sure gonna mess something up.

he is litrally sitting with a vape to distract his mind and a boner that he got because of his best friend that he's gonna meet in a month. his mind races.

he takes a few more hits out of the small black vape as his mind drains out the sound of his friends in his ears.

he really wants to see george.

but he is longing for being more then friends and he knows that that will mess everything up.

he is longing to be toutched, by the raven haired boy.

he remembers a call that he had about a year ago now. a late night discord call, with george. he remembers the taste of cola tingling on his tounge while talking to the drunk boy.

And then suddenly it hit me. it's a year ago

Since I drank miniature whiskey and we shared your coke

he remembers talking about first kisses, george admitting that he hated his first kiss, and whe clay asked him why, he simply just said: 'girl'. and then immediately shut himself up again

the conversation replays in his head.

---''you seem like someone that would go to a party, JUST to play spin the bottle to kiss some random girl.'' george said, words slumping together due to his state. ''WH- AM NOT'' georges laughs start to roll in his ears. ''well you seem like someone that would kiss someone and then immediately run away because you're scared of rejection.'' clay giggels sofly. ''okay im- i actually did that one time so i cant laugh.''---

Ain't it just like you to kiss me and then hit the road

why are all these songs calling back past memories that connected perfectly to them.

why right now?

''jesus christ dream i swear im gonna burst into your room if you dont answer.'' sapnap sounds irritated but a hint of worry can be heard.

''fuck, sorry.'' clay rubs his eyes, noticing that the substance in the vape is starting to take over. ''what did i miss.''

''dream are you okay? you were gone for like 4 minutes, just like yesterday.'' george says carefully.

''yeah im okay i just zoned out again.'' he presses the vape to his lips again, wanting it to take ove rhis brain compleatly now.

''you gotta take less hits of that hing bro.'' sapnap says, slightly giggling.

''shut up sap. don't expose my hapits because i know you also have one and i know a lot more shit that i can expose you for.'' he wheezes slightly at the end of his sentence.

he look at the stream, seeing georges questioning face and people asking what it is we are talking about.

''i'll be right back.'' dream says quickly, pulling his headset off.

he walks down the cold stairs and over to the kitchen, forgeting to bring the blanket, lucky for him it wasn't that bad anymore. and also sapnap stayed put in his room.

patches walkes behind him. she brushed along his enkel and he bends down to pat her head.

''NICK! DID YOU GIVE PATCHES FOOD YET?'' dream yells up the stairs.

''NO'' he yells back and dream turns back around to grab the big bag of cat food to pour some into the bowl and also grabbing some new water.

he looks at patches while she's eating for a while. and then remembers why he came downstairs.

turning to the counter and grabbing the unopened bottle of vodka, not bothering to grab a shot glass before dragging himslef back upstairs.

he flops back down on the chair. pulling the headset back up over his ears.

''im back, just had to feed the child and,, grab something.''

''child?? i didnt know tommy was in florida.'' karl says and they all expload into laughter.

''obviously i meant patches because mr. sApnAP here always forgets we have a cat walking around that needs food too'' clay says, still slightly laughing.

''WH- i moved in like a month ago, dont fucking blame me.'' sapnap says back.

dream giggles while reaching for the bottle and turning the cap open. he lifts it up to his lips and takes a sip. letting the liquid burn in his throat. he really doesnt care about the burning he likes the feeling of it. so, he takes another sip.

he knew this was gonna happen. he knew he was gonna try to drown out his thoughts in any way he can. he knew he wasn't even going to think about giving in to the the thoughts soon. so he let himself drown them out. 

he likes feeling the alcohol rushing through him.

he likes the way it makes his brain foggy when the substance in the vape cant. 

 i want it all - a form of longing 

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word count : 2357

hi. this was meant to be more of a filler. i have a lot of ideas for the next chapters so please i swear it will get better :) 

feedback is very appreciated