Not being good enough.

Being too weak to defend yourself or others.

Being too scared to take the next step.

To hesitate at any and each moment.

To overthink every move you make.

Not being able to keep up.

You have noticed all these disadvantages in yourself in the last few days. Every time you made a mistake or failed at doing something the feeling of guilt ate you up from the inside.
Seeing those disappointed faces before you made you feel like shit.

To avoid that feeling, you have to become stronger, and faster, work harder, and always try your very best.
But sometimes it just doesn't work.
Even if you do anything you could.
It's the way of the world.

You'll just have to try again.

♡ • ⁠♡ • ♡ • ♡

You and Scaramouche have been walking for some time now. Though this time you didn't mind it. The pleasant breeze of the wind and the outstanding scenery made you hope that this journey would never meet its end.
The landscape of the Nation looked much more pleasant than the one in Snezhnaya did. All the locals that you and Scaramouche had passed by seemed a lot more happy and joyful than the ones back in Snezhnaya too.
It made you think about what living in this Nation would be like.
Would you still miss the Nation you were born in?
Or would you leave your homeland behind without looking back?
Without leaving any regrets?

You continued walking through the bright green-colored grass. It felt unusual to see it in such a bright color. Usually, it was covered by snow, not letting you see its true nature beneath.

You looked up from the grass forward at Scaramouche noticing that he had stopped walking. His eyes were focused on something particular near him. Following his gaze, you turned your head to the side revealing a small hilicurl camp. Up until now the two of you had ignored each and every Enemy/Monster camp, so it took you by surprise to see that something as usual as an hlichurl camp had caught his attention

"Y/N."

He uttered in a quiet tone, trying not to draw the Hilicurls attention
"Yes sir?"
You questioned, turning around to face him
"See those hilicurls over there?"
He said pointing his finger forward at the camp

"Eliminate them for me would you?"
He arrogantly spoke while crossing both his arms.
You looked at him with wide eyes.
There is no way you would be able to accomplish that.
You almost died by some random guy's hands last night, and now you're supposed to kill a whole hilicurl camp?!
This man really wants to see you dead.

You let out a sigh before responding
"Of course, but I am still missing my weapon, Sir"
The indigo-haired male let out a scoff before snapping two of his fingers together.
Within seconds one kneeling Pyroslinger Bracer appeared out of thin air before Scaramouche. He held your sword in his hands before Scaramouche took it from them
"Demiss."
He drily spoke, making him disappear again. He then dropped the weapon in your trembling hands, saying
"Problem solved."
"Now continue your mission"
He teasingly exclaimed.

Looking back at the Hilicurl camp there were three normal Hilicurls and one Mitachurl.
'This shouldn't be too hard right?'
You tried to encourage yourself while walking up to the dancing monsters. Suddenly you stepped on a small branch, the cracking sound of it drew the monster's attention toward you. Your eyes whined the moment they all rushed to you. Tightening the grip on your sword you jumped to the side to get a better look at their fighting pattern.
Suddenly something attacked you from behind. It grabbed onto your shoulder trying to push you down to the floor, you reacted to its movements by swiftly moving your back downwards smashing the Hilicurls body to the floor.
Stabbing your sword into its chest it disappeared into a million pieces. Looking back up from its disappearing figure you noticed the other two Hilicurls rushing forward you from both the left and right side.
Both were inches away from you before they could burst into your ribs.
You led you a deep sigh before you crouched down to jump in the air. Doing so, they both crushed against each other. As you landed on the floor again you walked up to the blurred Hilicurls seeing as they also disappeared into thin air.
You smiled proudly before hearing a loud growling Sound behind you.

Your smile instantly disappears the moment you feel the gigantic shield of the monster
busts against your back. Making you fall to the floor you let out a loud groan in pain. It felt like half of your ribs just broke into pieces. Trying to pull yourself together you grabbed onto the affected spot, to numb the pain. Without much luck, you heard loud footsteps approaching you seconds later. your heartbeat fastens once you turn to the side, seeing the Mitachurl standing right beside you.

Your body froze.

There is no way out.

This is the end.

Accepting your fate you closed your eyes, waiting for your final death blow.
The world went absolutely quite for those few seconds. It felt like nothing in this world would matter anymore. All your worries and regrets disappeared.

But hearing those same electrical sounds caused you to break free from those thoughts and to open your eyes again.
You were still alive.
And the monsters corps layed dead beside you
"Did you really fall asleep just now?!"
Scaramouche irritatedly asked, raising one of his hands in the air and creating a small electro-like ball with it
"No!- uh my body felt Frozen to moment I saw the Mitachurl attacking"
"My apologies."
You spoke out with disappointment hinting in your voice.
Scaramouche looked down at your fallen figure before mumbling
"It was your first time after all…"
You brushed his cocky personality off before getting back on your feet again. Beating the dust off your dress you walked up to Scaramouche again
"Where almost in liyue so better try to stick your head down"
He exclaimed while tilting his hat up to get a better look at the glowing sun

"Why is that?"
I asked Scaramouche curios
"Let's say that the Fatui is also well known there"
"We had already much luck to begin with, that we stopped by Monstad at night but we will probably have to spend some more daytime in liuye"
He uttered with a serious tone

"Understood"

A/N:
Ngl I am hella proud of myself that I managed to finish this chapter in one day. I honestly didn't plan on writing one this week since I have edited all of the latest Chapters but yayy I still did it. Also if something with the storyline doesn't add up it's probably because of that. Or it's just because I am stupid and forget about certain things.
Anyhow, thank you for reading. See you hopefully next week!!