Search: offensivehumor
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tea: why you talking as if you ain't built like a keebler elfcrumpets: FOUL 💀💀------The pros of blue lock behind cameras (bars).written on pure impulse, don't come after me lmao

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Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed)

"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him."I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." **Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede?Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... **Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #BillionaireAmazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -ReaderFantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **

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Caffeine | PUBLISHED

[Caffeine is out now in paper back and Kindle!]"Medium black with three sugars, please."Isaac Hensick was your typical popular high schooler. He had tanned skin, girls on each arm and lungs full of cigarette smoke. But what most people didn't know was that he had a passion for drawing and a taste for black coffee. Most people, that is, except for Aspen.Highest rankings: #1 in fiction, teenromance and smoking, #2 in player and teen, #3 in mentalhealth and chicklit, #4 in young adult, #5 in anxiety, #8 in love!!completed: 09/07/20word count: 110,579

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The Coffee Pact

The only thing Mia Hope has in common with Jake Carpenter, Artwood High's most popular quarterback, is a love for the coffee served at The Coffee Pod. He wants her to tutor him - and if she can do it without a single cup of coffee, he'll pay her triple. Easy. Nothing could go wrong, right? *****When Jake learns he's failing English, he knows he needs to pull his grades up or he'll risk being kicked off the football team. He strikes a deal with the elusive Mia - the quiet girl with secrets. If she can't go without a single cup of coffee, she has to tutor him for free. If she can, he'll pay her triple, and with Christmas around the corner, there's nothing Mia needs more than money. But as the pair grow closer, Jake learns the real reason for Mia's bad habit, and what starts as an innocent bet between enemies grows into something more serious. Can the pair survive the next two months with their hearts - and secrets - still intact?Content/trigger warning: This story contains themes of assault and abuse.[[word count: 60,000 - 70,000]]Cover designed by Jenna ConradThe Coffee Pact now has a sequel: The Kissing Pact

6.1M 38 198.1K Full
Jokes/memes/facts/burns

I think everyone deserves a laugh so I got some crazy stuff in here only thing: some may be offensive.

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v a n i l l a   c a n d y

Where Kuroko and Murasakibara have a sort of Love-hate relationship but what if Murasakibara starts to feel only Love for Kuroko.note: Kuroko no basket is not mine, The pictures are not mine. I apologized for the mistakes in grammars and typo from this story. Please call me out when I accidentally said something offensive or sensitive.

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Different Worlds (KavehxAlhaitham)

What if Kaveh was a merman and he fell for a human named Alhaitham?-Discontinued-

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FNaF ship stereotypes

WARNING:If you get easily offended by offensive humor or opinions, do not come to me and complain. Try to be nice, please. You have been warned.Thank you.(Cover art by: MEEE BLITCHES)

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No Chance - Steddie (Steve x Eddie)

"If you can't find a girlfriend, why don't you just find a boyfriend?" Dustin asks."No chance" Steve says defensively.

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Checkmate

[FREE STORY w/ bonus paid chapters]When a scandal hits perfect seventeen-year-old Rose in the run-up to an election, she starts to believe that her dreams of becoming Class President are over. But in the shreds of her reputation is where she meets Blake - Archbury High's favorite troublemaker. As morally corrupt as he is handsome, Rose knows that asking for his help is a risk, but it could help to claw back her dignity. What starts off as a mutual arrangement soon begins to unravel, and as the pair grow closer and secrets are spilled in the run-up to the election, Rose starts to learn that maybe perfect isn't everything.

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The perfect host

After a traffic accident, Izuku meets 4 symbiotes that take over his body and save him, but from then on, life just gets weirder and weirder as a whole new face of the world is revealed to him.

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Rush

Pregnant and on the run from an abusive husband, Anastasia ends up under the protection of a grumpy CEO with a secret soft spot for her.

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Summer Forever

"Tell me what you want.""All I want is you."Isla Monroe is officially out of her tiny hometown, Shellside Bay. She's starting her first week of college and she's living in the heart of the city with her best friend, River. Things couldn't be more perfect.There's only one problem - her boyfriend Everett is half way across the world.[Sequel to Isla but can be read as a standalone]

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Ishq -e- Laa

This story is dark and full of angst ‼️Children are advisable to stay away ‼️This story has mature and sensitive content read at your own risks‼️I don't support any abusive content written in this story but it is bitter and dark reality of our society.The story is about Meerab and Murtasim where Meerab is somebody else's wife and in an abusive relationship.As the story progresses we are going to see what happens when Murtasim enters into her life will he remove her misery and save her or will he add on more problems to her already miserable life.Read the story to find out!

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Quiet melody - Haikaveh

Haikaveh one shotsthere's Cynonari in it so if you hate that i don't recommendNo angst bc I'm sensitive so yeahThis will most likely be really bad bc it's my first time SUGGESTIONS AND TIPS ARE WELCOME

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When Bunnyx Brings a Baby

Marinette thought she was up to any challenge. She was Ladybug after all! But when Bunnyx arrives with a baby in her arms asking her to babysit, Marinette quickly learns that Akuma battles are easy compared to taking care of a baby. A baby that seems to know her and for some strange reason... Adrien?

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Stuck Up Meets Crazy. [COMPLETED]

"Wait let me get this straight, you want me to get fat?" Cara does not know if she should be offended or threatened. Was this his grand plan to make her pay for the scene she caused? It's nuts. "Pregnant, so yeah,""You are going cuckoo, I am leaving." "A million dollars which you can use for payment of your mum's treatment and the rest, I don't care what you do with it." Cara stops to she process his words.~~~What happens when the billionaire meets one of the craziest girl on the planet? Well, for sure there's gonna be; Publicity stunts, hilarious arguments, living togetherFake relationship, surrogacy, sex and many more. But is there gonna be love? There's only one way to find out.....I assure you 100% humor,100% romance,100% crazy.WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES AND GRAPHIC LANGUAGES, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!Cover by: @quirksofchole

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My Abusive Husband

"please don't hurt me.. i beggged"..what if your husband is tired of you because you beat him every day and when you look at it you have no mercy

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FICTITIOUS WORLD || FIVE HARGREEVES [1 | DRAFTED AND EDITING ]

❝ There's nothing you can do once the world has turned against you. Time and time again, no matter what we do, we will fail. I wasn't meant to be in your world, Five. We live on different sides of the mirror. You're not real, and you never were. I'm not gifted, and I never was. ❞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𖣌 ⃝𖣘 highest rankings    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗45 in five⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗214 in theumbrellaacademy⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗100 in umbrellaacademy⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗15 in aidangallagher⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗54 in fivehargreeves⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗41 in fivexreader⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗3 in fivehargreevesxreader⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗123 in netflix⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀➳⌗70 in hargreeves

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The Wanted Unwanted

Being abused by some one you love is PAIN! Not being able to express and defend yourself is HELL! Running away from the cause of you nightmares who happens to be the one you love takes alot of STRENGTH and COURAGE! Seeing the cause of your nightmares staring right back at you after placing back the pieces of your life together is.....Join Avery on her hell of a journey IF YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF CONTROLLING MEN AND SEMI SUBMISSIVE WOMEN... DON'T READ!

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To Escape a Possessive Mate

Nora hates it when werewolves and vampires make themselves known to the world. All she dreams about is escaping to a human community, when she gets chosen to be the mate of werewolf Vincent. Upon learning of her desires to run away, Vincent does everything to keep Nora by his side.

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The Two Assassins ; Five Hargreeves

A FIVE HARGREEVES FANFIC ; In which two coffee obsessed adults travel back in time in order to save the world. Must be hard in your teenage body huh?

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The Sand Castles - Larry Stylinson

[A short Story - Finished] "I love you." Louis nuzzled his face into Harry's bare chest which still had a hint of sweat on it from their last events. "I love you too, my boobear." Harry wiped Louis' sweaty fringe out of his forehead just to place a kiss. Soon enough, Louis is drifting off to sleep where he dreamt about a day that doesn't end with Harry slapping him across the face and then making love to him to apologize for everything he never means to do to Louis.Or, one where Harry is struggling with his mental issues and Louis is trying his best to stay composed with everything going on in their lives. But he's destined to break at some point, isn't he?This book is about an abusive relationship and this may contain triggering content for some people, so please read at your own risk. I have done my research on the mental issues talked in this but if I ever got something wrong or offensive please do tell me. The cover is made by me but the photo credit goes to whoever that took those photos. Happy reading beautiful people! (: xxx - Ash© 2018 @lousbumtohazsdik

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Looks Can Be Deceiving

Naomi Moreno and William Luther, too different souls with two different personalities. He's cruel, She's sweet. He's arrogant, She's modest. He's powerful, She's powerless. It's like yes and no. But that doesn't stop fate from bringing them together.Or, well, at least everyone thinks it was fate.*****

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