I went to the kitchen and started cooking lasagna for everyone. I realised I'd probably have to make quite alot to feed 8 people. I put my headphones on and listened to some music while I cooked. I listened to things like arctic monkeys and the neighborhood. Definitely two of my favourite bands. I was stirring the mince into the tomato mix when I felt my sides being tickled. I jumped out of my skin and took my headphones off. I turned around and saw none other than Harry bent over, giggling.

"Harry you bitch! I could've burnt someone!"
I shouted at him, he could tell I wasn't really mad though. Just in shock still.

"Sorryyyy, I was bored and wanted to say hello. Whatcha making?" He leant on the counter as he spoke to me.

"I'm making lasagna. I really hope everyone likes it, I used to make it all the time for Ryan."
I didn't even think about the fact that Harry didn't have a single clue on who Ryan was, but thankfully he didn't ask.

"I smell something good. Who's making what?" Ethan said walking into the kitchen.

"Kat's making lasagna for us." Harry said in a giddy voice.

"Sounds and smells amazing. We haven't had a home cooked meal in weeks. Daddy Josh doesn't feed us anymore." Ethan pretended to be sad but i could tell he was joking.

"Daddy Josh? What kind of nickname is that?" We all burst out laughing.

"He's the oldest and wisest. So he's Daddy Josh." Harry explained which only made us laugh more.

We all continued talking while I cooked the food, I had just put it in the oven when we decided to head to the living room to wait for it to cook.

"Please can we play mario kart! I don't wanna watch boring shit." Harry complained. They had been arguing for the past 10 minutes on what to do, while I sat there waiting for a decision to be made.

"You know what, Kat, can you please pick for us? Mario kart or movie." Ethan looked at me and waited for an answer.

"Well I've never played Mario kart but I've always been intrigued. Can we play that?"

"YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED MARIO KART!?!"
they both shouted in unison.

"Absolutely outrageous." Harry added on, I stare at them dumbfounded.

"I never got the chance to." I held my hands up in defeat.

They both jumped on the sofa I was sat on that was Infront of the tv. I was in the middle, Harry to my left and Ethan to my right. Harry handed me a controller and we started playing. They had to keep stopping to tell me the controls. Harry kept winning of course but I did beat Ethan in one race, I think he let me win though even if he denies it.

We heard a ringing on my phone, it was the timer for the lasagna.

"That's the food! Can you two go grab the others?"

They nodded and left while I went to the kitchen and got it out the oven. I had also put in a few bits of garlic bread to go with it. The smell just reminds me of Ryan and it's killing me. Tears filled my eyes, luckily no one was in the kitchen yet so I quickly wiped my eyes. Tobi walked in with a bright smile but it faded a little once he saw me. Was it that obvious that I just wiped my eyes? And why is it always him that sees me like this?

He cleared his throat and it put me out of my trance, I hadn't realised but I had been staring at him. Oh shit, how did I zone out like that? I need some air.

"You can help yourself by the way, Tobi. There's more than enough to go around, can you let the others know? I'm just gonna go get some air quickly." I said quite quickly. I rushed out the kitchen heading to the front door. I passed Simon and Vik on my way out. They gave me worried looks as I opened the door and left. I just walked around to the side of the house to sit down and breathe for a moment.

I breathed in and out, trying to get the thoughts of Ryan out my head. I felt like crying, but I know I shouldn't because they'd see. They'd question me, I couldn't tell them yet. I'm sure they'll find out everything one way or another, but for the moment, I don't want to talk about it with them. I should probably tell JJ everything else soon but I think I'd break down mid sentence. And it's not something I can just bring up with him.

I didn't even realise I had started crying but I felt tears fall onto my hands. Great, what am i gonna do now? I don't even know how long I've been out here for.

"You good?" I looked up to see Simon stood there looking down at me.

"I'm fine." I managed to say through sobs.

"You don't look fine. Talk to me." He sat down Infront of me and put my hands in his.

"If I tell you, promise me you won't speak a word of this to JJ?"

"Uh ok? What's up?"

I thought for a moment. Should I tell him everything? I trust him but shouldn't JJ know first? I need to get all this of my chest though.

"There was more about Ryan that I didn't tell JJ. You know everything I told him. There's just a few things I decided to keep a secret but I just can't keep going with this bottled up. He went further than hitting me. There was a few times where he would try to... Touch me without my consent. He raped me, Simon. He's much stronger than me, I couldn't stop it."

I started sobbing so he shuffled over and sat next to me. He put his arm around me while I cried my eyes out into his chest.

"There's... There's more." I lifted up my hoodie slightly and I showed Simon the scars Ryan had given me.

"These scars are from when he'd thrown things at me. They torment me every time I look in the mirror. I can't look at myself without thinking about him, his hands on me. It scares me knowing that he's still in London, probably wondering why I'm not there anymore. I hate knowing that he could find me again."

Simon rubbed my back as I spoke. I couldn't stop crying. Simon is calming me down a bit but I know I won't be able to go inside for a little while.

"I can't believe he would do that. I only met him a few times before you moved with him but he seemed so... Normal." Simon said sounding shocked.

"He was perfect for a while, then he changed into a monster."

After a little while of sitting with Simon and breathing in the cold air, I was finally feeling well enough to go back in.

We walked in through the front door and we saw everyone in the living room. Apparently I had been out there a while cause they had all finished their food.

I grabbed my food and sat down in the kitchen to eat. JJ walked in and sat down next to me. He stayed silent for a minute until he put his arm around me. I guess he could see I had been crying.

"If you wanna talk about anything, I'm here for you Kat." I looked up to him and then leaned into his touch. I feel bad about not telling him, but I'll tell him when the time is right.

"Thank you, JJ."

"It's no problem. After you finish, I have one more surprise for you."

"What? No not something else. I can't accept anything else from you." I said as I stood up and placed my plate into the dishwasher.

"Come on, please! It's just one more thing!"
He dragged me to the living room where everyone said thank you for the food and how amazing it was. I blushed and smiled brightly, I don't really know how to take compliments so I didn't say anything.

"So guys, are we all ready to show Kat her surprise?" They all stood up after JJ said that and ran upstairs to stand by my bedroom door. I followed them up there and waited for what it could be.

"So earlier, when you were making dinner, I sent Ethan and Harry to keep you distracted for a few hours while the rest of us did this for you..." JJ opened the door and inside was an amazing computer with about 3 fancy cameras. I stared in shock as they all looked at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Oh my god.
THIS IS AMAZING!?! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!" I hugged them all and went to look at everything.

"Tobi told me you were still interested in photography so I gave you some of my cameras. And this is my old gaming setup so you can use this for anything you want. But now that you have that, we will be forcing you to play games with us." JJ explained.

"This is amazing, I really don't deserve all this. Thank you so much."

The others left so it was just JJ and me in my room, I pulled him into a huge hug.

"So Kat, Tobi was telling me how you wanted to have a job in the photography industry. I had a question for you, if you were interested, we need a new photographer for our merch photo shoots in the future. Would you like that position? The pay is really good and we'd get to see you more!" I looked at him in shock.

"Are you serious? That would be so cool! Thank you JJ!"

"It's no problem! You can be there for all our video shoots aswell if you want. We'd love to have you around more."

"This is way too much JJ. You've literally given me my life back. Your the best." I pulled him into another hug. How is this man so amazing?

"I'm so glad you're back in my life, Kat."

"Me too."

Word count: 1740
Written: 8/2/24