TURNIPTHEBEAT
Hey, guys.
I'm really sorry that I haven't been active recently.
I've just had some family stuff going on.
BUT.
Do you remember that girl I was dating?

YOU
Leah?
Still the same one from the old chat?

TURNIPTHEBEAT
Yeah! Her!
You've got a really good memory woah.

YOU
One of my charms.
*hair flip*

GLOWING.JIN
*One of the many.

YOU
Stop lying, Jace! You're making me blush.

GLOWING.JIN
Awwww cutie.
That's my baby.

YOU
Jaaaaace!
wAIT.

WANGTHEFUCK
Uh oh. You're in for it now.
I don't know what she found out but she found something out. And it's about to rain down hellfire.

HOTAE
Fuck. I forgot my umbrella.

STEAMYJK
HAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU ADDIE

HOTAE
I sure hope so.
We're married.

HERESYOURRAMEN
Don't remind me.

YOU
YOU, TOO, IMOGEN.

WANGTHEFUCK
Well, I gotta go.
Skurt skurt.
Don't know why she's mad but imma head out.

YOU
fuCKING S L E E P, YOU DEMONS.

STEAMYJK
Aaaaaaaah.
That's it.

HOTAE
Did anyone else hear Markiplier's voice, or was that just me?

WANGTHEFUCK
Honestly, I don't even know what we're talking about at this point or who is mad at who, but marmite on bread is my addiction.

GLOWING.JIN
Hayle probably checked the clock to see what time it is over here in Korea and then saw how late it was in New Zealand.

YOU
yOU GOT THAT DAMN RIGHT.

SKZJIHYO
Oh no.
Mama Hayle has been awoken.
We're dead.

WANGTHEFUCK
Yup.
Imma head out.
But I gotta grab my marmite toast before I go.

HERESYOURRAMEN
Veggiemite is superior.

WANGTHEFUCK
oh I knOW YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT.
MARMITE CAME FIRST, YOU UNCULTURED BOGAN.

TURNIPTHEBEAT
Okay, wow.
I know four languages, but this isn't one of them.

YOU
How the fuck did we even get here?
I was just trying to yell at my boy and my child to go to sleep, and then this crack happened.

HOTAE
Hey, crack don't smoke itself. Somebody's gotta do it.

SKZJIHYO
👁👄👁

STEAMYJK
I'M DEAD HAHAHAHA LMFAO

YOU
I would say lmao, but I don't have an ass to laugh off.

GLOWING.JIN
I'm just saying ... 'my boy'. That sounds really good.

YOU
I'll call you whatever you want, Jace.

GLOWING.JIN
Call me daddy.

CHANGAROO
thAT'S A NO

STEAMYJK

FENNEC.F.CKER
How did he even —
Chris was sleeping.
How did he—

TURNIPTHEBEAT
It's the mom instincts.
No matter where or when, the mom instincts always kick in.

WANGTHEFUCK
*mum

CHANGAROO
Okay, but no unholiness in this chat.

HOTAE
Unless Jungkook's curly hair comes up.

STEAMYJK
yeS.
I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR JUNGKOOK.

YOU
...
On that note—

SKZJIHYO
Okay, but Jihyo.

WANGTHEFUCK
mOMO.

HERESYOURRAMEN
yES. TWICE. MY QUEENS.
LET'S DANCE THE MOTHERFUCKIN NIGHT AWAY.
BABABABABABABABA

FENNEC.F.CKER
Someone please stop him.
Skip. Please.
He's dancing the night away at 4 a.m. in my room.

DANDYBOI
Got it.

HERESYOURRAMEN
ONE TWO THREE LET'S GOJGYSJLAFDAWLDUQLWHJAS

YOU
I'm very concerned for his mental health.

FENNEC.F.CKER
Nope, it's fine.
Skip just came in from his room with Sean and tackled him.
So be concerned for his physical health.

DANDYBOI
The threat has been nueteralised.
Goodnight.

YOU
What the hell ...

CHANGAROO
I just don't question it anymore.

YOU
anYWAYS
Sky.
Before this conversation got so de-railed, what were you going to say?
( And I'm also still waiting for you idiots to sleep. )

TURNIPTHEBEAT
Oh, right!
Um, yeah! Leah and I got engaged!

YOU
WAIT REALLY?? MY PARENTS

WANGTHEFUCK
OHMYGOD YES

HOTAE
SKY REALLY?!

STEAMYJK
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS OH MY GOD

CHANGAROO
Sky, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you!

FENNEC.F.CKER
Damn!

CHANGAROO
Language, Jon.

HERESYOURRAMEN
I'm so happy, Sky!!

SKZJIHYO
waiT GAY OH MY CHICKEN

TURNIPTHEBEAT
Haha I love you guys so much.

TURNIPTHEBEAT sent a photo to SATAN SOULMATE MAKNAE TEA SPILLING EXPOSERS LIVE IN HELL

YOU took a screenshot
SKZJIHYO took a screenshot
HOTAE took a screenshot
WANGTHEFUCK took a screenshot

YOU
Okay, my parents are so precious.

TURNIPTHEBEAT
Awwww, thank you, Hayle.

YOU
Okay, now that we got that amazing news out of the way, I want the boys to go to sLEEP.
Imogen, you, too. It's like 4 a.m. over there.

CHANGAROO
Correction, it's 4:27.

YOU
That makes it woRSE

CHANGAROO
I K N O W.

HERESYOURRAMEN
Well I'll be sleeping for all eternity because Skip literally murdered me.

STEAMYJK
Dammit, Skip, you beat me to it!
I mean—

HERESYOURRAMEN
I am ... disgusted.

YOU
NOPE. NO MORE SIDE CONVERSATIONS. IT'S LATE.
S L E E P.

STEAMYJK
Says the one who was blaring Lucifer at 3:45 a.m. yesterday.

YOU
heY, THAT WAS ONE TIME

GLOWING.JIN
Ooooooo she has taste.

YOU
Iconic bop. Change my mind.

TURNIPTHEBEAT
Hayle, what were you doing up then???
That's so late for you!

YOU
I'm soft that you know that omfg.

HOTAE
Yeah, she had an insomnia attack.

STEAMYJK
We both stayed up with her.
At first we tried to help her sleep, but she just couldn't.

HOTAE
So instead, we decided to binge-watch the entire Barbie movie franchise.

TURNIPTHEBEAT
I. Love. It.

YOU
Okay, but seriously.
You guys really need to go to sleep.

WANGTHEFUCK
Okay, fine.
I love you guys.

GLOWING.JIN
Talk to you guys in the morning.
I love you, princess.

YOU
I'm soFT.

HOTAE
Hayle, you're always soft.

YOU
Fair point.

A/N: I'm sorry for being MIA for so long :/ I had no motivation to write, but I hope you gays like this chapter. Please stay safe and happy in quarantine. I'm always here if you ever need someone to talk to.

-Hayle