(you have a disease that's life threatening in this chapter😁)

(F/F) = Favorite Flower

!𝖳𝖶!
𝖣𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁

(manga = chainsaw man)

Ray was just sitting down under the same familiar tree while you were sitting on top of one of the branches with your legs dangling on the edge, looking down at the raven-haired boy with awe.

It was a comfortable silence when you suddenly had an urge of asking Ray something. You glanced at Ray, seeing that he's still reading you decided to wait until he finished reading.

He closed book with a thud, letting his back sink into the tree. You jumped off from the branch and sat yourself down beside him.

"Ray, can I ask you a question?" He chuckled "You just did." you rolled your eyes playfully, also elbowing him in the stomach.

"Ouch, of course. What is it?" You faced the forest, avoiding Ray's gaze "Do you like anyone here--" you paused, scrambling for the right word "--um romantically?"

He was shocked by your question for a second; somehow though he managed compose himself the second later "Well.. I suppose yes."

"Oh is that so? And.. who is it?" He sighed, facepalming himself "I wouldn't tell you, it's.. too embarrassing." he put his arm up to cover his flushed expression.

Feeling satisfied, you grinned "That's all I wanted to know, I have to do something now." you stood up, dusting the dirt off your uniform.

Soon, he was left alone with his own thoughts.

_________

You sat in your bed, trying to decide whether to keep certain words from the letter you wrote for.. a certain boy we know of.

'He might think I'm weird. But then.. this is the only thing I can do to express my feelings without dying on the spot.' You felt your face heating up at the thought of expressing your feelings to him.

Would he accept? Would he decline? Or.. would he say that he isn't ready?

So many thoughts and feelings yet so little words to express all of them. Maybe if you worked up the courage you'd be able to talk to him and pour out all your feelings.

Though this was the first step for that! So it's just as important as the last steps.

• Step 1 : express your feelings through a letter and gifts [who doesn't like gifts? (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)]
• Step 2 : build up courage
• Step 3 : confess face-to-face!

It was not so easy to write in words, and of course it was harder to do it in-action. You had gained help from Gilda and Emma; even though they aren't exactly love experts, they sure helped you a lot! It's great having friends like them.

Gilda had suggested to plant a few flowers for Ray, she had different options since.. there was a lot flowers symbolizing a certain type of love such as: unconditional love, immortal love, etc.

You had decided on a specific type of flower; orchids. It was a significantly easy plant to grow, plus it's has a beautiful look to it.

• Step 1 : express your feelings through a letter and gifts [who doesn't like gifts? (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)] ✓

Next step was a bit harder, you had practiced confessing face-to-face with Emma for the last months. You still can't help but stumble over your words but it had build up a good sum of courage.

• Step 2 : build up courage ✓✓

And now... it's the hardest part of the list, confess to him face-to-face.

'if you wanna know who I am, meet me at the roof 11pm (to stargaze together)'

You shakily sealed the letter and put it ontop of his bed. You sprinted towards the roof and sat down, waiting nervously.

What felt like hours of waiting was only a few minute; somehow before you can even notice, the raven-haired boy has already settled down beside you.

"So it's you huh?" You jumped at suddenly hearing one's voice. You quickly gathered yourself together and nervously gave admitted to him that it was you all along.

A comfortable silence was surrounding the two, suddenly a (F/F) was covering your vision and that's when you realised he brought up a (F/F) to your face.

You carefully took the single piece of flower from his hand, accidentally brushing your fingers with his in the process of accepting his gift.

You examined his face only to see that he was looking away, oh if only you knew that the poor boy was so flustered by his own gesture; yet you brushed off his behavior and instead examined the (F/F) he gave you.

That didn't last long though; a blinding light was covering your eyes. Your grip on the flower loosened and it just dissapeared into the void. You began to panic and scramble around to see if anything was there.

For what seems like an eternity, you finally regained your vision again; yet you wished you didn't get it back after the horrifying sight you saw.

Ray was sitting in a chair beside the infirmary bed; holding your hand which still has the (F/F) in it and then there was Ray, sobbing loudly. You were confused to why, until you recalled of what actually happend.

"Ray, I---" And at that exact moment you felt a painful sting on your chest, you coughed again and again. He started getting worried and ended up carrying you to the infirmary; immediately informing Isabella about you.

Isabella started treating you and told Ray to sit beside your bed "So Ray, they haven't told you yet?" Ray looked at her with confusion written all over his face, but he knew what was coming surely wasn't good.

She let out a heavy sigh and explained the situation, he hasn't felt this sad and betrayed for so long. He thought you were staying; you promised. Was everybody just gonna lie to him?

You quickly rushed to his side, desperately trying to embrace him and tell him that it was just all a horrible nightmare.

But it was over. The list was over.

"Why couldn't you tell me your time was up?! I- I.. could've tried finding a way to help you." He put your intertwined fists onto his forehead.

"I love you too." That was what you wanted to hear for a long time; unfortunately, it was far too late.

You sucessfully confessed to him, but at what cost?

• Step 3 : confess face-to-face✓×?¿.

author's note
favorite song to listen to when you're sad? i like listening to jealous, suck it up, nobody, washing machine heart, your best american girl, sports, why didn't you stop me? ya gurl doesn't know what to feel