CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
WHAT'S LIFE WITHOUT A LITTLE RISK?

A WEEK HAD GONE BY AND IT WENT EXACTLY HOW BILLY SAID IT WOULD. It was like whatever relationship Billy and Diana had never happened. They went their separate ways, acting like they were nothing more to each other than English partners.

Billy was plagued with regret. Memories of their time spent together taunted him at night. Like a bittersweet film projected onto the ceiling of his bedroom or a ghost that haunted every corner of his mind. He knew there was no negotiating. He cared about Diana too much to take it back, and he had already caused her enough trouble.

Diana wasn't doing too well either. The week was long and everywhere she looked, Billy seemed to be there. Every corner she turned, he was flirting with some girl. Every time she walked by the cafeteria, there he was, sitting with her old friends with a bored look on his face. English class was the worst. She could feel his gaze on the side of her face every so often and it didn't help the fact that she was trying to get over him.

She told herself that it was barely a relationship. They never went on a date. They only kissed twice. But no matter what she tried to trick herself into believing, it still felt worse than getting over a breakup. She was mourning the loss of something that she never had in the first place.

Diana was at a loss. She didn't understand how he did it. How did he manage to make such a mess of her so quickly? How could he pretend to be okay? If there was anything the past week proved, it was that having Billy in her life was easier than going without.

The week wasn't the best for either of the miserable teenagers. The universe was torturing them, evident by their presentation at the end of the week. Both were dreading it.

It was Friday morning. Diana had already finished a cup and a half of coffee and Billy had already picked a fight with both of his parents. They both knew what waited for them at school, and that was each other.

Diana pulled into her parking spot and cut the engine. Moments later, a blue Camaro pulled up and parked right beside her. Billy hadn't parked beside her in a week, opting for a spot across the lot in an attempt to avoid her.

She took a deep breath to prepare herself for the day. A loud knock caused her to jump in her seat, almost spilling her coffee all over herself. Turning her head, she saw Billy standing outside her window.

A long sigh fell from her lips as she grabbed her backpack from the seat beside her and opened the car door.

"Hey," Billy greeted.

"Hi," she replied, her voice stiff and short.

Billy placed a hand on the top of the door, trapping her in front of him. His eyes softened as he studied her and he asked, "How've you been?"

"Nope." Diana shook her head, letting out a humourless chuckle. She shut her door and pushed past the tall boy. "We're not doing that."

Billy followed after her. "Doing what?"

She tried to ignore him as she walked through the school. People watched them in confusion. Everyone knew something happened between the pair. Before last week, they had been inseparable, making everyone jealous by their close proximity. But once the weekend passed, they had gone to school without acknowledging each other's existence.

Billy leaned against the wall beside her as she opened her locker. "C'mon, Ana," he pressed. "Doing what?"

"That." The metal door shut with a hard slam and she turned to him with a narrowed gaze. She hadn't realized how angry she was. "Stop trying to talk to me like we're still friends because we're not."

Billy sighed and followed after her as she walked down the hall. "Here I thought we ended on a good note."

"A good—" Diana's jaw clenched. If men had anything besides testosterone running through their veins, it was certainly the audacity. "Can we just get through this stupid presentation, please?"

Billy pushed open their classroom door and they started to prepare for their presentation. They were the only ones in the room and the silence was suffocating.

Diana opened her binder and handed Billy the script they had written when they had finished their essay. "Here," she said, "after this, we can go back to pretending like the other doesn't exist."

She was bitter, but she figured she had the right to be.

The bell rang and their classmates started to pour into the room. Soon after, their teacher nodded towards them and let them know that they could start as soon as they were ready.

The presentation had gone by smoothly. They stayed professional and Diana was glad that despite the turmoil of their relationship, they would still receive a good grade.

The presentation was almost done. The Great Gatsby and the American Dream: Perception, Interpretation, and Cruel Reality. Looking back, Diana found their topic highly ironic. Gatsby was so desperate to appear like he was living the American Dream, that he was living the perfect life—much like her own family. And in both cases, their attempts backfired.

"Things don't end well for the dreamers in this book," Billy said, making the concluding statements. "Gatsby died trying to protect Daisy, even if she was a pain in the ass."

The class chuckled at his choice of words while their teacher scolded him with a fond smile. Diana, however, was not so impressed. Billy wasn't following their script, which only meant trouble.

"For Gatsby, Daisy stood for everything he wanted. She was his dream. They tried to make it work, and maybe if the timing was better, it would've."

The more Billy spoke, the faster her heart sank to her stomach. He wasn't talking about The Great Gatsby anymore. Her head lifted to look at him only to see that he was already staring at her.

"In the end, neither of them could go back to the person they were before they met each other."

The rest of Billy's conclusion was a blur. Diana stood at the front of the room in a dissociative daze. It felt like her head was spinning. As soon as their presentation was over, she asked to go to the bathroom.

Letting out a shaky breath, she stared at herself in the mirror. Billy was right. They would never be the same people they were before meeting each other.

How was she supposed to get over that?

The door behind her opened. She paid no attention to it, thinking it was some freshman who would pay her no mind. But when her gaze shifted, she realized that the person behind her was anyone but that.

"This is the girl's room."

Billy stepped closer to her, but he made sure to keep his distance. "You okay?"

His concern only angered her further. "Stop doing that," Diana demanded, spinning on her heel to face him. "Stop checking up on me. You were the one who ended whatever this was. You were the one who didn't want this. Then you pull the bullshit you just did and think you can to ask me if I'm okay?"

Billy's jaw clenched. "You're mad."

"Yeah, no shit."

He took another step towards her, trying to stay as calm as possible. His attempts were noble, but he never had the best temper. "Diana," he snapped, "this wouldn't work."

"Because you're too scared to try," she argued, taking a step forward.

He let out a scoff. "No, because I'm not good for you!"

"I can decide that for myself!"

With their chins lifted and shoulders straightened, the pair stared at each other with fire behind their eyes. Their chests moved rapidly with every frustrated breath, and they realized how closely they stood to each other.

The silence snuffed out their aggression and the tension dissipated into the longing they tried to avoid. The invisible string that existed between them tied itself back together, its frayed ends double-knotted and never to be cut again.

"You're annoying," Billy stated, though any genuine meaning was lost in the subtle upward turn of his mouth.

Diana crossed her arms with stubborn glare. "And you're an ass."

The longer they stared at each other, the faster their pain faded. Slowly but surely, their demeanours shifted until they were fighting off smiles.

Billy was no stranger to making mistakes. He blew things out of proportion and forced her into a cell for a crime she didn't commit. Maybe he was wrong. After all, Diana had seen the ugly parts of his life and she still stayed by his side. She could handle more than he gave her credit for and he was blinded by his own insecurity.

But she understood why he did it, despite the bitter feelings his decision elicited. Self-sabotage was a familiar friend to both of them.

Diana wouldn't change or beg or break. If Billy didn't want her, then so be it. She would get over it eventually. But if he did... If he wanted to be in her life, she'd gladly welcome him back after an apology for being stupid.

Billy didn't need to hear her say it. He knew what he needed to do just by the look in her eye. He was an arrogant son of a bitch, but he would kneel at her alter and beg for forgiveness. He would break his fingers knocking on her door and suffer splinters across his knuckles if it meant he could take it all back. He would do anything if it meant his self-inflicted exile would end with her call back home.

Raising his hand, he rested them on her arms. "I don't want to risk fucking this up, Ana."

As she shrugged her shoulders, the corners of her lips lifted ever so slightly.

He could hear the words before they were spoken. Prove yourself wrong. Make it a challenge. The hardest one yet. He was never one to back down and they both knew it. There was no sense starting now.

Something flashed across his stare. Whether it was acceptance or excitement, Diana wasn't sure. But she did know one thing. She had him right where she wanted him. So in the silence of the girls' bathroom, her voice rang out.

"What's life without a little risk?"