August 20, 1947
Anglican Church Missionary Hospital
Lahore Province

4:15 A.M.

The morning woke up with the baggage of the past yesterdays. Hefty melancholy fogged his heart's chambers. The heavens poured out in a distant land as the chilliness of the morning revealed him a new pandora box of her. His lips trembled, his hands were cold. As the leaves tickled down the dew with silent drizzle ; a tear drop tickled down his dry cheeks, immersing into his dense beard. He was silent. He had been silent since his own pronouncement. He wished he could take his words back. As the elders say..Words have the power to rip off your heart, they should be uttered wisely...used compassionately - today he understood what they meant. Today he was a wise man too.

"IT COULD BE A POSSIBLE CHILD BIRTH SCAR." He was apprehensive while giving his conclusion. He gulped trying to summon his own deduction. Khan Murtasim was sure of his examination and that traumatised him. And somewhere down the line he felt....cheated may be.. Was she really married. And she carried another man's seed. If someone asked him, at that very moment he wished the world to end ; a probable apocalypse or just let her die. Not knowing about her was painful but knowing about her was agonising. And he chose the torturous one. To save her and let her torture him throughout. The truth was painfully obvious.

"This could be any normal operation too. And besides that, isn't she your wife, Doctor Khan? How you aren't sure.." Nurse Thomas reasoned with him. He seemed a lot disconnected.

"It's a pelvis cut scar. But again, this could be anything else." He tried to console his alpha, who was preparing for disruption. "And, we are here to treat her, I would appreciate if you keep it professional. Baar baar meri biwi ke bareme mat bolo." He looked visibly frustrated. That night was hard on him. Only Nandani could pacify the raging volcano in him. Only she could carress his wounded ego. She was his...she never agreed.. he never cared... But she was his...
(Don't keep on talking about my wife)

"Hot water.. clean cotton clothes.. sanitised operating articles... Arrange them all.." Khan Murtasim ordered while removing Nandani's dirty clothes. She had drifted into unconsciousness again. Her life depended on his faith on her, which was slowly shattering with every passing moment.

The compounder brought the arranged articles on a tray. Sister Martha brought the hot water tub with clean cotton napkins. Along with the necessary items she casually carried along her a white lab coat ie; doctor's coat. The one he hadn't worn since 1940. The coat that symbolised his dreams, his aspirations, his desire of a peaceful sober life away from the chaos of feudalism and upper class hassled life with the woman of his dreams. His wife. His Nandani.

"Ye lijiye khan...garam paani aur aapka coat." Sister Martha placed the coat on the left edge of the hospital bed near Nandani 's leg. She further started arranging the sanitised articles. Sardar Khan had already prescribed a minute blood compression , bacteria cleansing and synthetic natural suture above the ligament of the open wound. There was no bullet stuck in the wound. But the residue needed immediate cleansing to stop future infections.
(Take this Khan. Hot water and your coat)

"Coat nahi chahiye... This treatment is a personal endeavour." He simply said it. Without any hesitation or further explanation. He was doing it after years. It would be his last time too.

Medicine Practice was a distant faded dream of his , which he used to visit on those solitary cold nights when he felt the want, the need to be cocooned in someone's warmth. When he craved the need to belong to someone. A life to which he could simply comeback un bothered. *It is either the Sardar title or a simple middle class dream. You can't sail in both boats. You have to give up one. Today your people need you Murtasim Khan. Our last Sardar... Mushtajab Khan has been murdered. Conspiracy and enmity took him from us. You need to take his place. Give up and come back my son. I need my son.* Dilawar Khan 's final phone to London in 1940, echoed in his mind. Numbing his all other senses. Now, he He needed to get it done. He had to visit his old life and come back before the urge to go back engulfs him. He needed to treat her now...

"Patient taiyar kare.." he announced.
(Prepare the patient)

"Ghao gehra hai Doctor. Shayad ligament tear hua hai... Tissues damage hain.. par koi internal bleeding nahi hai.." Nurse Thomas gave her observation while reopening the dressing.
(The wound is deep. There might also be a ligament tear and tissue damage. But no internal bleeding)

"Fill Laudanum 60c potent in the injection... This should give her some relief from the pain.. and won't let her drift into an unconscious state for long..while we stitch the wound." Khan Murtasim wore his surgical gloves and sat on the adjacent wooden chair near the open wound.

"Uhhh.. Murtasim " she hissed in pain trying to open her eyes... As he pierced the sharp needle into the mass of her right hips making her flinch. She had always hated injections, also scared of needles. "Murtasim... Mmm.. I hate you." She again growled in pain.

"Calm down... It would not take long.. see you will be fine within the next 20 minutes" Murtasim let his fingers skim across her shoulders.

"Nurse, give me 20 ml Biguanides in a sterile article." Khan Murtasim instructed the assisting nurse Niveditha Thomas who was standing at the corner looking at the doctor with awe. He was too quick and there was precision in his work. A lot to learn from him.. a lot...she thought.

"Nurse..!" He repeated.

"Yes Doctor... I am making the solution." Nurse Thomas immediately unsealed the new bottle of antiseptic sterile solution and measured the required amount before filling it in the article.

"Nooo..!! Stop..ahh.. stop." She cried in pain as Murtasim put the drops of solution in her open wound. It was an anti bacterial solution. It was supposed to create irritation in the open wound. It was painful for her. Murtasim pinned her arms, stopping her to touch the wound.

"Bas ..bas ho gaya.." he rubbed her tummy, occasionally gliding his fingers on that abdominal scar.
(Yes.. it's done)

Biguanides started taking over her senses , resulting in the numbness around her wound area. Murtasim immediately went on with the final step- Natural Synthetic stitching. The synthetic organic soluble thread ran through her skin tissues, stretching and joining the tissues together. With every knot, it pulled the edges of her skin ; looping the synthetic thread through each side he finally closed the open wound.

"Bring Betadin 30c potency for the surface area." He asked still cutting the ends of the synthetic thread. The wound was closed. Healing would take time. But she would be fine. She needed to get well soon. Nurse Thomas applied betadin in prescribed potency before dressing Nandani 's wound. The patient was properly attended by the in-house doctor.

"Fentanyl, oxycodone aur Tramadol.. inhe subah shaam patient ko khaane ke baad dena hai.. aur ek injection jaldi ghao bharne ke liye. Medicare stock se mangwa lijiye... Inhe jaldi theek hona hai.." Murtasim scribbled on a blank page while instructing the assisting staff before handing them the prescription of Patient Nazma Begum, w/o Murtasim Khan - quoted in patient details.

Nurse Thomas and staff left the patient with the doctor. Murtasim removed the surgical gloves and washed himself clean before coming back to her. She was still unconscious. Her breathing was slow, he could hear occasional whimpering. He caressed her moon kissed face, which radiated warmth in that rainy day. Rain hadn't stopped since the day she stepped in Lahore. It seemed as if the sky broke down the dam of his suppressed emotions, pouring it on Lahore. The weather was overwhelmed by the presence of their Little freedom activist.

"My little khan boy.." he sighed remembering her years old confession wrapped in naivety. She had hidden things in the past ; she is hiding now.

••••••••••••••••••••

August 20, 1947
Khan Haveli
Lahore Province

7:05 A.M.

The glittering sunrays spread various hues of shiney silvers and golds. The Khan Haveli shined in gold. It was a bright sunny morning. The faint chirping of birds echoed in the open garden. The fresh dewdrops over the grass had a crystalline effect making prism across the open area. The air was light, everything screamed a new innings. For Khans it was a new beginning for Sardar Khan and Eliza who was supposed to reach within 2 days. They all were waiting for this supposed profitable union. An aristocratic power couple post independence.

"Allah...! Maryam bibi apne kamre mein nahi hai... Shayad woh phir bhaag gayi.. " Dai Amma came running towards the hallway where all the family members gathered for their morning tea. The real reason for their gathering was the future alliance of Murtasim Khan and Eliza. Dilawar Khan wanted them to get married...soon.
(Maryam isn't in room. She must have run away again)

"Maryam ko dawai di thi..? Aapko pata haina usko dawai waqt pe na do toh usko attacks aate hain.." Ruqaiya Begum scolded Dai Amma.
(Did you give medications to Maryam. You do know right if she isn't medicated properly she gets attacks)

"Han.. hum unko waqt pe saari dawai dete hain...par ab asar nahi hota...." Dai Amma was guilt ridden for not looking after her properly. For letting her slip at this early hour, when her condition critically prohibited human interaction.
(Yes, I give all the medicines to her, but now the medications aren't working)

"Toh dawai ke doses badhao.." Ruqaiya Begum instructed.
(So increase the dose of medication)

"Dawai ke doses badhane se kuch nahi hoga... We need a proper psychiatric help for Maryam." Nadia Khan intervened the conversation with her first hand suggestion. She knew, medications were a way of suppressing the ailment but it wasn't the cure. The cure needed them to go out and ask for help. But they would never, the social stigma attached with a psychiatric patient stopped them ; resulting in the worsening mental health of Maryam in every passing year.
(Nothing will happen if we increase medication)

"Meri beti pagal nahi hai..." Ruqaiya yelled further confirming her delusional belief.
(My daughter is not mad)

"Usse main pagal nahi keh rahi.. par aap ye toh maanti hai, ki usko madad ki zarurat hai." Nadia reasoned with her, trying to make her take a step towards her daughter's recovery.
(I am not calling her mad. But you do realise that she needed help.)

"Usse jab sabki zarurat thi, tab aap log nahi aaye.. ab meri beti ko akela chor do.." Ruqaiya bawled.
(You didn't come when she needed you the most. Now leave my daughter alone)

"Bhabhi, jo bhi 1939 ko hua usmein sabki galti thi.. Don't let Maryam suffer for this.." Nadia consoled a sobbing Ruqaiya.
(Whatever happened in 1939, everyone was at fault)

"Sabki galti nahi... Singhs ki galti thi... Unki ladki,, Nandani ki galti thi.. aur tum sabne usko jaane dia..main usko kabhi maaf nahi karungi." Ruqaiya exasperated. She could never forget what happened on that fateful night of winter 1939. Ahe could never forgive Singhs; especially Nandani.
(Not everyone was at fault, but Singhs and their gurl Nandani. I will never forgive her)

" Dai Amma, jaake Maryam ko dhundho, woh shayad garden ki taraf hongi." Nadia ordered, taking Ruqaiya with her to the baithak.
( Dai Amma, go and search Maryam in the garden area. She would probably be there)

" Nandani mere bache...kaash tum yahan hoti.. Mere Sardar ka sukoon, unka chain..unke dil ka aaram..sab yehi hota.." Dai Amma sighed and moved towards the backyard door which opened to the garden area.

But it was not how people thought it would be between their Sardar and his lady. Their love never gave them peace. It never calmed their souls. Their love was like wild flower growing on pond. Nandani was terrifying and wild. A wild minx. Something he should had run from. But the beauty she was, captivated his vision of life. She became his life. She made his heart beat faster.... Hence he stayed with her... This time their love will culminate into something more profound. Stars had given the sign. She had returned to him...for him.

•••••••••••••••••••••

August 20 1947,
Anglican Cathedral Missionary Hospital
Lahore Province

9:00 A.M.

"Stop moving... Usko sone do.." Murtasim pulled Newton's leash..a jute knitted thread which he had tied around Newton's neck while rescuing him from Zamindar Haveli earlier that morning.
(Let her sleep)

Newton was uncontrollable. He was growling in frustration. He wanted to go near her. He wanted to feel her warmth. He had missed Nandani. He had never stayed apart from her since the day she took him into her shelter. For Newton, Nandani was his 'momma' , his world. But he knew, he had a contender. The moustache man was trying to get between them. He hated this man and his moustache - it moved rhythmically while he spoke. But he never really spoke, he commanded, shouted, killed people.. dragged his momma.. and now she is unconscious because of this moustache man. He barked at him.. he wanted his momma back.

"Wo theekh hai..bas dawai ki wajah se behosh hai.." Murtasim rubbed his back trying to console the oversized moody pet of hers.
(She is fine..she is unconscious due to medications)

Newton whined.. taking few steps back he looked at Murtasim. * Is he trying to make me sick too.. just like my momma..This moustache man was trying to be friendly with her too and now she is not talking.. what should i do.. biting.. would biting help. But momma can't run. I won't let him go near my momma..*

"What is it..? I know you love her a lot.. she will be fine..come here." Murtasim tried to pull the leash once more.

*Never..i am never going near you. You are those momma says to stay away from. I will have to protect both of us from you * Newton wrapped his legs around one of the leg stands of Nandani 's hospital bed and sat attentively looking at Murtasim. Not blinking once.

"I see...you too are possessive of her. I don't blame you, that brunette has it in her. " Murtasim smiled looking at Newton who was holding the leg stand tightly. Murtasim looked at Nandani who was sleeping after the stitching procedure. She looked serene and at peace. He further tilted his head towards Newton who looked at him with thinned eyes, "You know, I fell in love with this punk rock girl when she was a child. A girl who was no one but her. And after that, nothing less would ever do.." he sighed rubbing the stomach of the pet who refused to let go the bed stand.

* Who the hell is he talking about..This moustache man has a weird obsession with my momma.* Newton held the bed more tightly than ever.

Four Hours Later...

1:00 P.M.

"Mmhh.. paani.." Nandani groaned. Her throat was dry. Her lips were chapped. She was dehydrated for 7 hours now. She needed water.

"Aaram se utho.. nurse get a mild hot drinking water in a bowl and spoon. " He called out the nearby nurse while supporting Nandani to sit , holding her back. He knew that the pain will grow now. "Tum ab kaise feel kar rahi ho..dard jyada ho raha hai..?" Murtasim asked holding her in his arms. She looked weak and feeble. Her eyes were red, her lips were dry. She didn't look like herself.
(Get up carefully, how are you feeling now. Is it paining)

"Aap theek hain Sardar..?" She asked arching her head backwards trying to find his eyes. He looked like an insomnolent, drained out and exhausted.
(Are you alright Sardar..?)

"Tum theek ho..sab theek hai.." he replied holding her..not making an eye contact..but looking at the water bowl which Sister Martha kept at the side table. "Chalo aage ho.. thoda paani peelo.. " Murtasim fed her spoonful of water..

"Ah.. ye garam hai.. thanda paani chahiye.Bohot pyas lagi hai" Nandani cried spitting out the hot water. This made Newton bark.. he came and stood beside her looking straight at the moustache man.
(This is hot. I want cold water. I am thirsty)

"Relax i am not going to hurt her.." Murtasim looked visibly annoyed with Newton's tantrums. "Aur tum.. thanda paani nahi milega . Ab jab tak theek nahi ho jaati yehi peena padega. Warm water kills germs and will heal your abdomen. Lo have it.." Murtasim filled another spoonful of water.
(You will not get cold water. You will consume warm water till you get better)

"Mujhe sona hai.." she curled back with a grumpy face.
(I want to sleep)

"Meri neend udakar.. tumhe sona hai." He mumbled under his breath.

"Kya kaha..?" Nandani turned towards him.
(What did you say..)

"Nothing... So Jana, pehle nurse se apni dressing change karwao." Murtasim said signalling Nurse Thomas to change the dressing.
(You may sleep after getting your dressing changed by the nurse)

"Aap...aap kaha ja rahe hain." She asked holding his hand-firmly.
(Where are you going)

"Main..? Ab main sirf tumhara personal doctor nahi hun.. I am Sardar too. I need to take care of a lot of things. Toh Jana hoga. Tum apna khayal rakho. " Khan Murtasim straightened himself curling his moustache.
(I am not only your personal doctor, but sardar too. I need to go)

"Aur ye..apne paas rakhne. Kuch bhi gadbad lage.. chala dena. I will take care of everything." Khan Murtasim said vaguely handing her his Webley Revolver.
(Keep this with you. If you find anything suspicious just shoot)

"Jee.." she simply nodded looking at the grey iron-steel metal.

"Aur tum... Iska dhyaan rakhna.." Khan Murtasim said to Newton who had now almost climbed on the bed. "Main jaldi wapas aaunga.." he said placing a small jasmine before leaving her.
(And you take care of her. I will return soon)

"Main intezar karungi Sardar." Nandani replied from behind; making him smile. He was happy. Not because she was with him. Not because he could get her..but because even with years of dilemmas, apprehensions, doubts they could still manage to talk to eachother.

As Khan Murtasim moved through the church corridors, his salwaar pocket made mild clanking sound. He stopped and searched, only to find her sea shell locket. The locket held memories of distant past, which they both didn't wish to visit. They both had moved on. They had separate worlds , where they had no place for either of them. Yet, the locket told the story of the unfulfilled desires, broken promises and heart breaks.

"Meri saari umra mein...ek hi kami hai tu.." he sighed, unsure of what he really wanted. Putting the locket in his pocket, he moved out.

•••••••••••••••••••••

2:00 P.M.

Nandani narrowed her eyes looking at Nurse Thomas while she prepared to change her dressing. "Relax Khaani, jyada dard nahi hoga." Nurse assured her.
(There won't be much pain)

"Khaani..?" A bewildered Nandani asked.

"Jee Sardar Khan ki biwi.. humari Khaani.. aap." The poor nurse replied.
(Yes Sardar Khan wife , our khaani. You)

"Main..? " Nandani couldn't utter any further.
(Me)

"Jee aap.. Sardar Khan ne humein bata diya hai.. itne saalon se woh shaadi-shuda hain..humein pata hi nahi tha." Nurse Thomas replied nervously.
(Yes you.. Sardar Khan had told us everything)

"Aur mujhse hui hai unki shaadi..!" Nandani was beyond pissed.. looking at the Webley Revolver she remembered his words *agar kuch gadbad lage toh goli chala dena.*
"Jaldi Wapas aao Sardar." She said firmly holding the revolver.
(And he is married to me. Return soon sardar)

Nurse washed her wound with antiseptic liquid before applying the prescribed medicine tube and dressing it. Antiseptic liquid burned a little causing her to flinch. Her sudden movement drew the attention of the nurse on the abdominal scar. The scar looked old. Might be 6-7 years old.

"Koi purana operation hua tha aapka.. ye nishaan kesa. Aapke Shauhar bhi bata nahi paaye.." gathering a little courage the nurse asked.
(Is this some old operation mark. You husband couldn't answer too..)

Nandani froze. She looked at the nurse wide eyed. Did he see it. Did he know about it. Then why didn't he question her. Will he hate her more now.. Will he feel disgusted of her now. Where did he go.. "woh mera tumor ka operation hua hai...usika hai.." she finally replied after a long pause.
(This is the mark of my tumor operation)

"Sardar really cares for you a lot.." The nurse completed that day's dressing and left.

Nandani was left speechless. This was the only thing that she didn't want the world to know. Her dirty past had come crawling back to her. She knew if Murtasim ever got to know about it, he would never forgive her. She had no strength left for fighting him. Reality hit her..she needed to reach Rawalpindi sooner than ever.

Newton mewled while rolling his head, bringing Nandani back from her trance. He was pleased not to see the moustache man around them. Now his mama and him can spend time together. Like old days in Amritsar. Nandani tilted her head towards Newton caressing his forehead when her eyes fell on that tiny jasmine flower on the side table. She looked at it...tears started to roll on her dry cheeks reaching her chappy lips.

"He fell in love with me too early in life... He loved me with all his heart and being.. he was there for all my smiles. But..., will he be there for my scars too..? " she looked at Newton who had now put his head on her lap. "No..! He will never choose me for my scars. After all he is a Feudal Lord and i am a weak broken winged angel. No match. He is the sky... bright and never ending. I am underwater, hidden, dark and passed by. Not for eachother." That day she cried holding that jasmine. She cried her heart out. She knew, he would never look at her the way he did. He would never desire her ever again. But she had to live her life with everything she had..."

"Aafton ke daur mein... Chain ki ghadi tha tu.." she mumbled looking at the flower left by him...she curled back into her blanket holding that small white jasmine.

•••••••••••••••••••••

Some 224 miles away...

Society of Children Welfare
Municipality of Rawalpindi

4:00 P.M.

He slurped the kesar milk while drawing on his black slate with chalk. He used to stand up occasionally and look at the main gate of the orphanage building. Finally losing his patience, he went on to the house warden, who sat near the candle stick green telephone.

"Mere liye koi phone aaya hai..?" He asked looking at the warden with hopeful eyes .
(Did anyone call me..)

"Abhi tak nahi.. naam likhwa lo." The house warden replied, opening his register for marking the name.

"Sartaj N. Singh, age 6 years, Nursery finished. Western wing hostel." He gave his information.. further saying, "meri mumma ka phone aaye toh bulana .. please."
(If my mother calls, please inform)

"Theekh hai.." the warden nodded
(Ok)

"Mumma...aap kab aaoge.." Little Sartaj looked at the single drawing of his and his mother together.
(Mumma when will you come)

"Mujhe aapka intezar hai..abse hum sath rahenge..aapne kaha tha ." He said holding his black slate.
(I am waiting for you. Now we will live together forever)

Fate had played it's mean game... Only time will tell, what was kept for each one of them.

••••••••••••••••••

Hello my dear Readers,

First of all thank you for loving the story and keeping patience with my slow writing. I know i update late comparatively. But i write when i feel the rush..I hope you all keep up with me... please lovelies.

Regarding 'hot romance ' as had been quoted by many on dms.. the story is slowly unfolding. Let the whole past get revealed. Give time to that, after that i promise you romance.

And what are you watching these days..? On Netflix, prime.. hotstar, YouTube.. anywhere. Gimne suggestions.

Lastly if you like the story, share with your friends.

Your feedback is most important.

Lot's of love.

~Autor Payal