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𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘

chapter fifteen:
'cause you said forever, now
I drive alone past your street !

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MAYBE ATHENA HAD made a mistake. Maybe she had done it all wrong, but in that moment, handing Ricky her necklace and letting him go seemed like the best option. The three charms that brought them together were weighing her down instead of lifting her up like they usually did the second she saw Ricky with Lily.

She remembered that moment — the way her head spun, the way her heart dropped, the way her limbs completely froze. Your girlfriend seems like she wants some space from you, Lily's voice rang through her mind. Anyway, let me know if you're looking for one who doesn't. It was no secret that Athena and Ricky still needed to work on some communication. But was it that obvious that even Lily had tried to take Ricky away?

Yet Ricky hadn't responded to Lily. He hadn't denied the claim, but he hadn't defended it either. It was just like that night at the El Rey all those months ago. Ricky hadn't even tried to justify his actions about almost kissing Nini. All he did was just blurt out that he loved her and Athena immediately forgave him. Maybe she shouldn't have. Like she said to Ricky earlier, she didn't have time to fully heal.

Not to mention the fight that they had in the school hallways. Ricky had told her that he didn't need her help and pushed her away again. And when he showed up on her front porch step to apologize, Athena forgave him, like she always did. Maybe she shouldn't have done that either. Pushing all of his problems onto her wasn't fair and wasn't healthy.

And that's what made Athena question everything. Seeing Ricky with Lily just hurt her again, and this time, she realized she needed to mend herself back together. That's what made her offer up her necklace to him. In giving it to him, it signaled that she had to go her own way for a little while. Just like Gabriella.

Because they might find their place in this world someday, but at least for now, Athena had to go her own way.

It hurt, though. Athena was the one who broke it off, but it was her first official breakup with the boy she loved the most. She had believed that nothing could tear them apart if their love went all the way through the solar system from the moon to Saturn, but it turns out, it was actually them who tore their own selves apart. And at the root of all of it who made that a reality was one person — Lily.

Athena knew she shouldn't let that blonde girl into her head. All Lily wanted was a reaction out of her. Lily painted herself out to be this girl who was over confident about North High and thought she was winning by trying to tear people apart. Athena saw right through her. In reality, Lily was insecure. If she had looked to see that it was okay other people had talent too, maybe then she wouldn't be so mean.

Anyways, Athena wasn't doing the best. Ever since last night she had been locked up in her room, pretty much staring at the ceiling and crying when she needed to. Crying it out definitely seemed like the most liable option. Her parents came to check on her periodically, but they would be met with Athena looking blankly ahead and responding with short sentences. Adam and Amanda knew something was up, but they decided not to press her.

And Ricky . . . he kept spamming her phone with texts and calls pleading her to let them talk this through. Maybe she would look at them later, but she ignored them for now. They had pinky promised that they would always be there for each other no matter what. Look how that turned out — with this. East High's so called best couple (coined by Violetta when they first started dating, but now shifted to Violetta and EJ) broken up with the sole fact that being there for each other caused arguments and rifts.

Ricky Bowen was the only person who had enough of Athena Blake to break her heart. But this time, Athena had broken her own directly through Ricky.

But the love she still had for him . . . God, it was astronomical. The heart wants what it wants, and hers wanted him. Yet Athena had loved him so much that she let him go. Trying to keep a relationship with him with all the intrusive thoughts in her head wasn't fair to either of them.

Soon enough, Athena realized that she had to get out of her room. The pictures of Ricky still up and all the memories of them together up there were getting too overwhelming. Her mind was spinning and she needed something to distract herself. So what did she do?

Go for a drive.

She took her parents' car (since Artemis was out . . . again) and let her mind take her where she wanted to go. There was no end destination, it was just a way to get her to focus on something else and see something other than the walls of her bedroom. What A Time played softly in the background as she turned down random streets.

Athena sat at a red light for a moment, her left elbow resting on the door so she could lay her head against her fist. She absentmindedly tapped on the steering wheel with her right thumb as she looked ahead at the white car in front of her. Finally, the light turned green, and once it was her turn, Athena turned right.

Everything suddenly became familiar. The street she just turned on? It was the one that led to Ricky's apartment complex. She had been there so many times that it must've been muscle memory. The building where the apartment was came into sight, and Athena stared at it for a second, knowing exactly where she would park, which sidewalk she would take, what door she would knock on . . .

Ricky and her always talked about Athena getting her drivers license. She was a little late to get hers and always relied on him or Artemis for a ride, so they always were excited for her to be able to drive to him whenever she wanted. Athena mentally scolded herself. Trying to not think of Ricky and attempting to distract herself by driving just led her back to him.

'Cause you said forever, Athena thought to herself, willing herself to focus back on the road as tears filled her eyes. Now I drive alone past your street. And this time, it's all my fault.

So, driving was a fail. Athena drove back home and parked the car in the garage. She locked it and went inside, placing the keys on the counter. Her mother went to go say something, but Athena didn't want to relay what happened to her at the moment. She went up the stairs and entered her room. However, sitting on her bed was none other than Violetta, who looked up from the floor once Athena came in.

"Hey," Violetta began softly, frowning at Athena's tear-stained face and puffy eyes. "How are you doing?"

Athena sighed. "Besides the fact that this whole situation makes me think of Story Of Another Us by 5 Seconds of Summer?"

Violetta winced. "That bad, huh?"

She let out a deep breath and fell onto her bed on her back, making Violetta turn to look at her. "Worse than you can imagine. But, Vi, I'm the one who broke it off. So why does it hurt so much?"

Violetta gently grabbed her hands and pulled back her up so that she was sitting upright before taking a seat next to her. "Because it's a breakup, 'Thena. That boy who you broke it off with? He was your first love. And who knows, Ricky might be your only love. But you thought breaking it off was best for you. You listened to your heart and that's the most important thing."

"What if I hurt him more?" Athena asked worryingly.

Violetta shook her head. "Athena, you care about him. I know you do. But the reason you did this was to focus on yourself and heal. It's okay to be sad right now, but soon, I want you to start healing yourself, all right?"

Athena nodded. "All right."

"I'll check up on him, too," Violetta reassured her. "Don't worry. You two are gonna be okay. It might not seem like it right now, but you will be. Promise."

Athena leaned her head on Violetta's shoulder. Violetta wrapped her arm comfortingly around Athena and rested her head on top of Athena's. Athena let out a content sigh as Violetta's hand ran up and down her arm.

"You talk to Artemis at all?" Violetta questioned.

"She hasn't been home," Athena answered. "I texted her but she hasn't responded. Mom told me she's at her friend's house."

"For two days?"

"She's living her life. Meanwhile, I'm out here crying in my bedroom."

Violetta laughed slightly. "What else have you been doing besides crying?"

"Pretty much nothing," Athena admitted. "I tried to go for a drive, but I just ended up driving alone past his street."

"How about writing?" Violetta suggested. "I know songs always help you deal with things the best."

Athena shrugged and lifted her head up. "I don't even know where I would start."

Violetta shook her head. "Athena, it's just like what you always do when you write a song." She tapped Athena's heart with her hand. "You listen to your heart."

Athena offered her a small, sad smile. She reached forwards and tugged Violetta into a long hug. Seriously, where would she be without Violetta?

"I love you," Violetta told her.

Athena sniffled a little. "I love you more, Vi."

Violetta pulled away. "I'm gonna leave you to writing, okay? Call me if you need anything."

She nodded. Violetta grinned at her before leaving Athena's room, closing the door behind her. Athena let out a deep breath and glanced around her room. Maybe something in here could give her inspiration . . .

Suddenly, Athena looked over to the top drawer of her dresser. An image of a piece of paper buried underneath all of her socks flashed in her mind — the song she had started to write when she was absolutely heartbroken. She had forgotten about it, but right here, right now, she remembered. Athena was feeling the exact same way she had all those months ago.

She walked over to her dresser, moved some socks, and finally grasped the piece of paper. Scribbled on it we're only a few select lines that she had sung straight from the heart and had written down after Ricky left that night after confessing his love to her. Those heartbroken thoughts were discarded to the side due to the fact that she pushed them away, but now . . .

Still staring at the piece of paper, she absentmindedly walked over to the keyboard in her room. Athena reached over to the desk beside it and got a new piece of paper and a pencil to start over. She placed the old paper down next to her. Athena tapped the pencil eraser on the paper a couple of times before ultimately deciding on the title Drivers License.

And with a couple thoughts of lyrics and a melody in mind, she began to write, I got my drivers license last week, just like we always talked about . . .

--- ☆ • ♫ • ♪ • ♫ • ☆ ---

THE NEXT DAY, Athena stood on the stage of the auditorium at East High in the afternoon before play rehearsal (God, she could only imagine how awkward it would be with her and Ricky being the leads at the moment.) Violetta had told her she could call her about anything. Of course Athena already knew that, but for some reason, she felt nervous as her finger hovered over the call button on her phone.

Finally, she decided to just do it. She pressed on the button to call Violetta and lifted it up to her ear. It rang for a couple moments, but after a while, the call ultimately went to voicemail. Athena sighed a little before the beep sounded to signal her she could start a voice message.

"Um, hey, Vi," Athena began. "Remember yesterday when I told you I needed to write it out? Well . . . I did. I dug up an old song that I started a couple months ago and finished it. I was hoping I could play it for you, but you're obviously busy right now — which is fine, don't worry about it. Um, I kind of wanted you to be the first one to hear it, so I'll just leave it as a voicemail. So, here it is. It's called Drivers License."

She sat down at the piano. Athena put her phone on speaker and placed it on top of the piano. She placed her fingers on the keys and began to play the chords she had come up with all those months ago before starting to sing the song she had written.

"I got my drivers license last week, just like we always talked about. 'Cause you were so excited for me to finally drive up to your house, but today I drove through the suburbs, crying 'cause you weren't around. And you're probably with that blonde girl, who always made me doubt, she's so much older than me, she's everything I'm insecure about. Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs, 'cause how could I ever love someone else?"

On Valentine's Day, Athena had confessed that it was strange that Ricky and her weren't neighbors anymore. He had responded that she could come over whenever she wanted when she got her drivers license. And now that she had it, she wasn't even using it to go to his house — well, besides that her mind subconsciously took her there. She had driven through the suburbs around Salt Lake City with tears in her eyes after she had passed where he lived. And Lily, that infuriating blonde girl, was the one who made Athena realize all of the hurt that was still inside of her when she was talking to Ricky back in North High's auditorium. Yet the last line was true — Athena may have been the one to break off her and Ricky's relationship, but she couldn't imagine her life loving someone else other than him.

"And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one. And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone. Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me, 'cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."

The verse that had started it all. Their relationship wasn't perfect, not even close. Also, at first, Ricky had only written her one song — Perfect Harmony. Athena remembered singing that line, not knowing how Ricky thought they were heaven on Earth, melody and words, when he had almost kissed Nini. And now there were two more — The Perfect Gift and Anyone Else. Did he also really mean what he said in those songs, too? Athena didn't know. All she did know was that Ricky and her promised to be together forever, but Athena broke it, and now she drove by herself past the street where he lived.

"And all my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them, 'cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah. Today I drove through the suburbs, and pictured I was driving home to you. And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one, oh. And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone. I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me, 'cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."

She had told Violetta everything. Of course she did, they were best friends. But yet . . . Athena couldn't help but wonder if Violetta was getting tired of having to comfort Athena. One of the reasons Athena had decided to break up with Ricky was that he often dumped all of his problems on her and left. Athena didn't want to do the same thing with Violetta. Violetta was in her own healthy relationship. She didn't need Athena's baggage weighing it down.

"Red lights, stop signs, I still see your face in the white cars, front yards. Can't drive past the places we used to go to, 'cause you know I still love you, babe. Sidewalks we crossed, I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing, over all the noise. God, I'm so blue, know we're through, but you know I still love you, babe."

Ricky and Athena's car rides were nothing less then a good time. Let's paint the scene — Ricky's left hand on the steering wheel, his right interlocked with Athena's hand, music blasting from the radio, screaming lyrics . . . now it was all a memory, nothing but something that used to happen. All Athena could do now was reminisce and hope that Ricky realized that she loved him enough to let him go, even if it made her extremely sad.

Athena's voice turned quiet for the very last part, tears dripping down her cheeks from the heartbreak that she caused herself. "I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one. And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone. Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me, 'cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street. Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."

She opened her eyes and looked down at the piano. Athena quickly sniffled and wiped her cheeks with her hands before picking up her phone.

"So, yeah, that's it," Athena said. "Um, call me back as soon as you can. You don't have to drop everything just to come see me, but I'd like to talk to you about it. Okay, uh, bye. Love you."

Athena hung up and locked her phone. Suddenly, she felt a presence behind her. She turned, only to see none other than Artemis standing there. Her sister's face was pained, almost as if she was realizing how much hurt Athena was feeling at the moment. Athena slowly stood up from the piano bench as Artemis approached her.

"Artemis," Athena let out, her voice barely a whisper.

"You wrote that?" Artemis asked.

Athena nodded in response, another tear falling down her cheek. "Yeah."

"I wasn't there, was I?" Artemis continued, tears of her own shining in her eyes. "I wasn't there as your big sister to be by your side through a heartbreak."

Athena shook her head. "No, but it's fine—"

"No, it's not. You've been there for all of mine. It was my turn to be there for you." Artemis finally stopped in front of her. "God, Athena, I'm so sorry."

Athena instantly collapsed in her sister's arms. Sobs wracked her body, making Artemis tighten her grip around her. Athena let all of the pain and heartbreak expel from her while Artemis rubbed her back. She felt some tears of Artemis' fall on her shoulder, but she didn't care.

"I got you," Artemis told her softly, her own voice choked up. "It's okay."

The two sisters stood there in each other's embrace on the stage on the auditorium. And somehow, both of them knew that at least their relationship had been mended.

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RED LIGHTS 🚨 STOP SIGNS 🛑

I told y'all drivers license was going to make a reappearance <3

I like to imagine athena singing the jimmy fallon version bc why the fuck not plus it also shows the belted version of the bridge

ALSO YEAH I USED THE CLEAN VERSION SUE ME I JUST PERSONALLY CAN'T SEE ATHENA SAYING "FUCKING" MY BAD

also picture drivers license in the perspective of athena blaming herself for how much she's hurting over this breakup instead of blaming ricky bc it makes more sense that way