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EIGHT LETTERS

CHAPTER FIFTEEN
[ N A T A L I A ]

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THE FIRST THING Natalia said after meeting Hercules was, "Well, he's a dick."

She'd grown up on stories about the guy, whether it be from her textbooks or that one Disney movie (she thought it would've been hilarious if those women popped up and started singing bless my soul, Herc was on a roll). And then she got to Camp Half-Blood, where even more stories of him were shared. Chiron and her even talked about him training Hercules, and she was completely and utterly fascinated.

He didn't live up to her expectations. Especially when she remembered what had happened between him and Zoë Nightshade.

Plus, his guide that he had did not help them at all with the snakes and bugs on the island. Thanks, Hercules.

"If this is a magic island," Piper grumbled, "why couldn't it be a nice magic island?"

"Nothing's nice when you're a Demigod," Natalia said, ducking under a tree branch. "Trust me."

They tromped up a hill and down into a heavily wooded valley, careful to avoid the black-and-red-striped snakes sunning themselves on the rocks. Mosquitoes swarmed over stagnant ponds in the lowest areas. The trees were mostly stunted olives, cypress, and pines. The chirring of the cicadas and the oppressive heat reminded Natalia of summer days in New Jersey.

So far they hadn't found any river.

"We could fly," Jason suggested again.

"We might miss something," Piper said. "Besides, I'm not sure I want to drop in on an unfriendly God. What was his name? Etch-a-Sketch?"

"Achelous." Jason was trying to read the guidebook while they walked, so he kept running into trees and stumbling over rocks. "Says here he's a Potamus."

"He's a hippopotamus?"

Natalia shook her head. "A Potamus is a river God. Achelous used to be a spirit of a river in Greece."

"Since we're not in Greece, let's assume he's moved," Piper said. "Doesn't bode well for how useful that book is going to be. Anything else?"

"Says Hercules fought him one time," Jason offered.

Natalia scoffed. "Well, that's a surprise."

"Yeah. Let's see. Pillars of Hercules . . ." Jason flipped a page. "Says here this island has no hotels, no restaurants, no transportation. Attractions: Hercules and two pillars. Huh, this is interesting. Supposedly the dollar sign — you know, the S with the two lines through it? — that came from the Spanish coat of arms, which showed the Pillars of Hercules with a banner curling between them."

Natalia blinked. It seemed like Annabeth's brainiac tendencies were rubbing off on him. Maybe now he had enough common sense to look out for things that could potentially hit him in the head.

"Is there anything that's actually helpful in that book?" Natalia asked.

"Wait. Here's a tiny reference to Achelous: This river God fought Hercules for the hand of the beautiful Deianira. During the struggle, Hercules broke off one of the river God's horns, which became the first cornucopia."

"Corn of what?" Piper asked.

"It's that Thanksgiving decoration," Jason said. "The horn with all the goodies spilling out? We have some in the mess hall at Camp Jupiter. I didn't know the original one was actually some guy's horn."

"And we're supposed to take his other one," Piper said. "I'm guessing that won't be so easy. Who was Deianira?"

"Hercules' wife," Natalia said. "I don't remember the full story, but I do know that something bad happened to her."

Natalia then thought of what Hercules had told them: his first family dead, his second wife dead after being tricked into poisoning him. She really wasn't liking this quest.

They trudged across a ridge between two hills, trying to stay in the shade; but Natalia was already sweating. The mosquitoes left welts on her ankles, arms, and neck, so she probably looked like a smallpox victim. Looked like her mother's survival instincts didn't count for mosquitoes.

She had finally gotten to spend time with Jason and Piper, and this is what they were doing.

Natalia was annoyed with Jason mentioning Hera, but he was just trying to reason with Hercules. Or maybe she was just annoyed with the world in general. Stupid Prophecies, stupid Gods, stupid quests. She just wanted it all to end.

She thought about what Hercules had wanted to tell her about the sons of Zeus. She also wondered what he had heard about her in general. I've heard stories about you, Natalia Flynn, he had said. How exactly did he know stories about her if he stayed here all the time? She didn't know.

She also wondered if Hercules had ever been as positive as Jason — more upbeat, confident, quick to comfort. It was hard to picture.

As they hiked down into the next valley, Natalia thought about what was happening back on the Argo II. She wanted to send an Iris-message, but Hercules said that they couldn't contact their friends. Part of her hoped Annabeth would send another group ashore, but she didn't know what would happen to them if Hercules was bothered further. Maybe Coach Hedge would get impatient and aiming a ballista at Hercules (she hoped so, she really didn't like him).

Natalia looked around. The sun was already setting, and that meant their deadline was approaching. Tomorrow was July first, the Kalends of July. That meant it was also Nico's last day, and the day that Rome would be destroyed. She felt sick to her stomach just thinking about it.

"Stop," Jason said.

Natalia stopped, and looked around for threats. Then she realized she could hear running water up ahead. They crept through the trees and found themselves on the bank of a river. It was maybe forty feet wide but only a few inches deep, a silver sheet of water racing over a smooth bed of stones. A few yards downstream, the rapids plunged into a dark blue swimming hole.

Something about the river bothered her. The cicadas in the trees had gone quiet. No birds were chirping. It was as if the water was giving a lecture and would only allow its own voice.

The more she listened, the more inviting the river seemed. It was tempting her to take a drink, dip her feet in, or even jump in altogether.

Natalia shook her head. These thoughts weren't hers. Something was wrong. It almost felt like the river was charmspeaking. However, if Natalia was immune to charmspeak, why was the river doing exactly that?

Jason sat on a rock and started taking off his shoes. He grinned at the swimming hole like he couldn't wait to get in.

"Cut it out!" Piper yelled at the river. Apparently she heard it too.

Jason looked startled. "Cut what out?"

"Not you, Jay," Natalia said, pointing to the river. "Him."

She felt weird pointing at the water, but she was certain someone was in there, playing with their feelings.

Just when she thought she had lost it and Jason would tell her so, the river spoke: Forgive me. Singing is one of the few pleasures I have left.

A figure emerged from the swimming hole as if rising on an elevator.

Natalia stiffened. It was the creature she'd seen in Piper's knife blade, the bull with the human face. His skin was as blue as the water. His hooves levitated on the river's surface. At the top of his bovine neck was the head of a man with short curly black hair, a beard done in ringlets Ancient Greek style, deep, mournful eyes behind bifocal glasses, and a mouth that seemed set in a permanent pout. Sprouting from the left side of his head was a single bull's horn — a curved black-and-white one like warriors might turn into drinking cups. The imbalance made his head tilt to the left, so that he looked like he was trying to get water out of his ear.

"Hello," he said sadly. "Come to kill me, I suppose."

Jason put his shoes back on and stood slowly. "Um, well—"

"No!" Piper intervened. "I'm sorry. This is embarrassing. We didn't want to bother you, but Hercules sent us."

"Hercules!" The bull-man sighed. His hooves pawed the water as if ready to charge. "To me, he'll always be Heracles. That's his Greek name, you know: the glory of Hera!"

Natalia rolled her eyes.

"Funny name," Jason said. "Since he hates her."

"Indeed," the bull-man said. "Perhaps that's why he didn't protest when the Romans renamed him Hercules. Of course, that's the name most people know him by . . . his brand, if you will. Hercules is nothing if not image-conscious."

The bull-man spoke with bitterness but familiarity, as if Hercules was an old friend who had lost his way.

"I'm guessing you're Achelous?" Natalia asked.

The bull-man bent his front legs and lowered his head in a bow, which Natalia found pretty bittersweet. "At your service. River God extraordinaire. Once the spirit of the mightiest river in Greece. Now sentenced to dwell here, on the opposite side of the island from my old enemy. Oh, the Gods are cruel! But whether they put us so close together to punish me or Hercules, I have never been sure."

Natalia was confused on what he meant, but the background noise of the river was invading her mind again — reminding her how hot and thirsty she felt, how pleasant a nice swim would be. She tried to focus.

"Uh, hi, I'm Natalia," she said. "This is Jason and Piper. We were sent here by Heracles, Hercules, doesn't really matter since he's still annoying, because he got mad. We don't want to fight you."

Her and Piper explained about their quest to the ancient lands to stop the Giants from waking Gaea. They described how their team of Greeks and Romans had come together, and how Hercules had thrown a temper tantrum when he found out Hera was behind it.

Achelous kept tipping his head to the left, so Natalia wasn't sure if he was dozing off or dealing with one-horn fatigue.

When she was done, Achelous regarded Piper as if she were developing a regrettable skin rash. "Ah, my dear . . . the legends are true, you know. The spirits, the water cannibals."

Piper looked sick. "H-How—?"

"River Gods know many things," he said. "Alas, you are focusing on the wrong story. If you had made it to Rome, the story of the flood would have served you better."

"Piper?" Jason asked. "What's he talking about?"

Natalia decided to intervene. "I apologize Achelous, but we don't understand—"

"No, you don't," the river God sympathized. "Poor thing. Another girl stuck with a son of Zeus."

"Wait a minute," Jason said. "It's Jupiter, actually. And how does that make her a poor thing?"

"Because you keep losing consciousness and I have to take care of you," Natalia said.

Jason glared at her, and she sent an innocent smile back.

Achelous ignored them. "My girl, do you know the cause of my fight with Hercules?"

Natalia nodded. "Deianira."

"Yes." Achelous heaved a sigh. "And do you know what happened to her?"

"I've heard the story before, but I don't remember." She turned to her boyfriend. "Jason?"

He took out his guidebook and began flipping through pages. "It doesn't really—"

Achelous snorted indignantly. "What is that?"

Jason blinked. "Just . . . The Hercules Guide to Mare Nostrum. He gave us the guidebook so—"

"That is not a book," Achelous insisted. "He gave you that just to get under my skin, didn't he? He knows I hate those things."

"You hate . . . books?" Piper asked.

"Bah!" Achelous' face flushed, turning his blue skin eggplant purple. "That's not a book."

He pawed the water. A scroll shot from the river like a miniature rocket and landed in front of him. He nudged it open with his hooves. The weathered yellow parchment unfurled, covered with faded Latin script and elaborate hand-drawn pictures.

"This is a book!" Achelous said. "Oh, the smell of sheepskin! The elegant feel of the scroll unrolling beneath my hooves. You simply can't duplicate it in something like that."

He nodded indignantly at the guidebook in Jason's hand. "You young folks today and your newfangled gadgets. Bound pages. Little compact squares of text that are not hoof-friendly. That's a bound book, a b-book, if you must. But it's not a traditional book. It'll never replace the good old-fashioned scroll!"

"Um, I'll just put this away now." Jason slipped the guidebook in his back pocket the way he might holster a dangerous weapon.

Achelous seemed to calm down a little, which then made Natalia calm down a little. She didn't need to get run over by a one-horned bull with a scroll obsession. That really wasn't her idea of a good time.

"Now," Achelous said, tapping a picture on his scroll. "This is Deianira."

Natalia and Piper knelt down to look. The hand-painted portrait was small, but she could tell the woman had been very beautiful, with long dark hair, dark eyes, and a playful smile that probably made everyone fall in love with her.

"Princess of Calydon," the river God said mournfully. "She was promised to me, until Hercules butted in. He insisted on combat."

"And he broke off your horn?" Jason guessed.

"Yes," Achelous said. "I could never forgive him for that. Horribly uncomfortable, having only one horn. But the situation was worse for poor Deianira. She could have had a long, happy life married to me."

"A man-headed bull," Piper said, "who lives in a river."

"Exactly," Achelous agreed. "It seems impossible she would refuse, eh? Instead, she went off with Hercules. She picked the handsome, flashy hero over the good, faithful husband who would have treated her well. What happened next? Well, she should have known. Hercules was much too wrapped up in his own problems to be a good husband. He had already murdered one wife, you know. Hera cursed him, so he flew into a rage and killed his entire family. Horrible business. That's why he had to do those twelve labors as penance."

Natalia suddenly remembered. Everything about Hercules came back into her mind.

Piper looked appalled. "Wait . . . Hera made him crazy, and Hercules had to do the penance?"

Achelous shrugged. "The Olympians never seem to pay for their crimes. And Hera has always hated the sons of Zeus . . . or Jupiter." He glanced distrustfully at Jason, and Natalia resisted the urge to stand in front of him. "At any rate, my poor Deianira had a tragic end. She became jealous of Hercules' many affairs. He gallivanted all over the world, you see, just like his father Zeus, flirting with every woman he met. Finally Deianira got so desperate she listened to bad advice. A crafty Centaur named Nessus told her that if she wanted Hercules to be faithful forever, she should spread some Centaur blood on the inside of Hercules' favorite shirt. Unfortunately Nessus was lying because he wanted revenge on Hercules. Deianira followed his instructions, but instead of making Hercules a faithful husband—"

"Centaur blood is like acid," Jason said.

Natalia shuddered. Her friend Phoebe, who was a Hunter of Artemis, had a bad experience with Centaur blood a few years back.

"Yes," Achelous said. "Hercules died a painful death. When Deianira realized what she'd done, she . . ." The river God drew a line across his neck.

"That's awful," Piper said.

"And the moral, my dear?" Achelous said, looking straight at Natalia. "Beware the sons of Zeus."

Natalia didn't look at Jason. If she did, she probably would've shown her uneasiness. She knew that Jason would never be like Hercules, but they had similar stories. He had also been manipulated by Hera. Natalia wanted to believe that Jason wouldn't go off murdering people, but then again, he had almost killed Percy four days ago when he had been controlled by an Eidolon.

Snap out of it, Nat, she scolded herself. Jason is a good guy. You're just being paranoid.

"Hercules is a God now," Achelous said. "He married Hebe, the youth Goddess, but still he is rarely at home. He dwells here on this island, guarding those silly pillars. He says Zeus makes him do this, but I think he prefers being here to Mount Olympus, nursing his bitterness and mourning his mortal life. My presence reminds him of his failures — especially the woman who finally killed him. And his presence reminds me of poor Deianira, who could have been my wife."

The bull-man tapped the scroll, which rolled itself up and sank into the water.

"Hercules wants my other horn in order to humiliate me," Achelous said. "Perhaps it would make him feel better about himself, knowing that I'm miserable too. Besides, the horn would become a cornucopia. Good food and drink would flow from it, just as my power causes the river to flow. No doubt Hercules would keep the cornucopia for himself. It would be a tragedy and a waste."

Natalia suspected the river and Achelous' voice were charmspeaking her thoughts, but she had to agree with the God, even if he did make her nervous. She was starting to hate Hercules more than humanly possible.

Jason stirred. "I'm sorry, Achelous. Honestly, you've gotten a bum deal. But maybe . . . well, without the other horn, you might not be so lopsided. It might feel better."

Natalia looked at him incredulously. "Uh . . . Jason?"

Jason held up his hands. "Just a thought. Besides, I don't see that we have many choices. If Hercules doesn't get that horn, he'll kill us and our friends."

"He's right," Achelous said. "You have no choice. Which is why I hope you'll forgive me."

Piper frowned. "Forgive you for what?"

"I have no choice either," Achelous said. "I have to stop you."

The river exploded, and a wall of water crashed over Natalia and Piper.

»»---------------------►

THE WATER PULLED her in. She tried to get herself to the surface, but struggling was useless. Natalia clamped her mouth shut, which is what Percy taught her to do if she was drowning, but panic was rising in her. In her line of vision, there was only bubbles, and she could only hear the water and her thrashing.

She'd just about decided this was how she would die: drowning in a swimming hole on an island that didn't exist. Then, as suddenly as she'd been pulled under, she was thrust to the surface. She found herself at the center of a whirlpool, able to breathe but unable to break free. Natalia glanced over to her left to see Piper in the same situation.

A few yards away, Jason broke the surface and gasped, his sword in one hand. He swung wildly, but there was nothing to attack.

Twenty feet to her and Piper's right, Achelous rose from the water. "I'm really sorry about this," he said.

Jason lunged toward him, summoning the winds to lift him out of the river, but Achelous was quicker and more powerful. A curl of water slammed into Jason and sent him under once more.

"No!" Natalia screamed. This was reminding her too much of that vision in Katoptris. "Stop!"

She sounded scared, and she hated it, but it got Achelous's attention.

"I'm afraid I can't stop," said the river God. "I can't let Hercules have my other horn. It would be mortifying."

"There's another way!" Piper said. "You don't have to kill us!"

Jason clawed his way to the surface again. A miniature storm cloud formed over his head. Thunder boomed.

"None of that, son of Jupiter," Achelous chided. "If you call lightning, you'll just electrocute your girlfriend and her friend."

The water pulled Jason under again. Natalia's eyes widened, and she looked over at Piper with pleading eyes.

"Let him go!" Piper yelled, her voice full of charmspeak. "We promise we won't let Hercules get the horn!"

Achelous hesitated. He cantered over to her, his head tilting to the left. "I believe you mean that."

"We do!" Natalia yelled. "Just please, let him go."

The water churned where Jason had gone under. Natalia wanted to scream. How much longer could he hold his breath?

Achelous looked down at her through his bifocals. His expression softened. "I see. You would be my Deianira. You would be my bride to compensate for my loss."

Natalia blinked. "Uh, what?"

"No, not you," Achelous said, and she was kind of offended. "The other girl."

Piper looked mortified.

"Oh, I understand," Achelous said. "You were too modest to suggest this in front of your friends. You are right, of course. I would treat you much better than a son of Zeus would. I could make things right after all these centuries. I could not save Deianira, but I could save you."

Well, this guy is insane, Natalia thought to herself. She also thought about how Jason didn't have much longer. Piper could do this.

Piper looked at her curiously, and Natalia just subtly nodded her head. Piper sent one back, them silently communicating the plan to one another.

"You would have to let your friends die," Achelous continued. "Hercules would be angry, but I can protect you from him. We could be quite happy together. Let's start by letting that Jason fellow drown, eh?"

Piper smiled as sweetly as she could and raised her arms. "Lift me up, please."

Achelous' face brightened. He grabbed Piper's hands and pulled her out of the whirlpool.

She used her momentum, swinging one leg over Achelous' back. Then she locked her ankles around his neck, wrapped one arm around his throat, and drew her knife with the other. She pressed the blade under the river God's chin. Woah, badass, Natalia thought.

"Let — Jason — and — Natalia — go." She put all her force into the command. "Now!"

Natalia realized there were many flaws in their plan. The river God might simply dissolve into water. Or he could pull her under and wait for her to drown. But apparently her charmspeak worked. Or maybe Achelous was just too surprised to think straight. He probably wasn't used to pretty girls threatening to cut his throat.

Jason shot out of the water like a human cannonball as the whirlpool Natalia was stuck in stopped. He broke through the branches of an olive tree and tumbled onto the grass. That couldn't have felt good, but he struggled to his feet, gasping and coughing. He raised his sword, and the dark clouds thickened over the river.

Natalia looked over at him with a pleading glance: Not yet. Her and Piper still had to get out of this river without drowning or getting electrocuted.

Achelous arched his back as if contemplating a trick. Piper pressed the knife harder against his throat. Natalia subtly tapped her bracelet and held onto her bow tightly, notching an arrow. Piper shot her a gracious look.

"Be a good bull," she warned.

"You promised," Achelous said through gritted teeth. "You promised Hercules wouldn't get my horn."

"And he won't," Piper said. "But we will."

Natalia shot her arrow, and it notched itself into the horn like butter. Piper then raised her knife and slashed off the God's horn. The Celestial Bronze cut through the base like it was wet clay. Achelous bellowed in rage. Before he could recover, Piper stood up on his back, pulled the arrow out of the horn, and threw it in the water. With the horn in one hand and her dagger in the other, she leaped for the shore. Natalia swam closer to shore, and tried to go as fast as she could.

"Jason!" they both yelled.

Thank the Gods, he understood. A gust of wind caught her and Piper and carried them safely over the bank. Piper and Natalia hit the ground rolling as the hairs on her neck stood up. A metallic smell filled the air. She turned toward the river in time to be blinded.

BOOM! Lightning stirred the water into a boiling cauldron, steaming and hissing with electricity. Natalia blinked the yellow spots out of her eyes as the god Achelous wailed and dissolved beneath the surface. His horrified expression seemed to be asking Piper: How could you?

"Run!" Natalia yelled while slinging her bow over her shoulder, and the three of them crashed into the woods.

They climbed the hill, and Piper began to sob. Natalia wanted to stop and comfort her, but they had to keep going.

They didn't slow down until they reached the crest of the hill.

Piper kept breaking down and crying as her and Natalia told Jason what had happened while he was struggling underwater.

"Piper, you had no choice." He put his hand on her shoulder. "You saved my life."

Natalia laughed a bit, taking her hand and squeezing it. "That was all you this time, Pipes. I'm proud of you."

Piper wiped her eyes. Natalia glanced behind her worryingly. The sun was nearing the horizon. They had to get back to Hercules quickly, or their friends would die.

"Achelous forced your hand," Jason continued. "Besides, I doubt that lightning bolt killed him. He's an ancient God. You'd have to destroy his river to destroy him. And he can live without a horn. If you had to lie about not giving it to Hercules, well—"

"I wasn't lying."

Jason stared at her. "Pipes . . . we don't have a choice. Hercules will kill—"

Natalia shook her head. "Piper's right about this one, Jay. Hercules doesn't deserve this horn."

Hercules was a bitter, selfish jerk. He'd hurt too many people, and he wanted to keep on hurting them. Maybe he'd had some bad breaks. Maybe the Gods had kicked him around. But that didn't excuse it. A hero couldn't control the Gods, but he should be able to control himself.

Natalia now knew Jason would never be like that. He would never blame others for his problems or make a grudge more important than doing the right thing. It was one of the reasons why she loved him so much.

Piper was not going to repeat Deianira's story. She wasn't going to go along with what Hercules wanted just because he was handsome and strong and scary. He couldn't get his way this time — not after threatening their lives and sending them to make Achelous miserable for the sake of spiting Hera. Hercules didn't deserve a horn of plenty. Piper was going to put him in his place, and Natalia totally respected that.

"I have a plan," she said.

Piper told Jason and Natalia what to do. Natalia didn't even realize she was using charmspeak until his eyes glazed over. She looked from him to Piper, and shrugged her shoulders. Well, it got him to listen.

"Whatever you say," he promised. Then he blinked a few times. "We're going to die, but I'm in."

Hercules was waiting right where they'd left him. He was staring at the Argo II, docked between the pillars as the sun set behind it. The ship looked okay, but Piper's plan had started to feel insane to her.

It was too late to reconsider. Her and Piper had already sent an Iris-message to Leo. Jason was prepared. And, seeing Hercules again, she felt more certain than ever she couldn't give him what he wanted. He didn't deserve it.

Hercules didn't exactly brighten when he saw Piper carrying the bull's horn, but his scowl lines lessened.

"Good," he said. "You got it. In that case, you are free to go."

Piper glanced at Jason. "You heard him. He gave us permission." She turned back to the God. "That means our ship will be able to pass into the Mediterranean?"

"Yes, yes." Hercules snapped his fingers. "Now, the horn."

"No," Piper said.

The God frowned. "Excuse me?"

Piper raised the cornucopia. Since she'd cut it from Achelous' head, the horn had hollowed out, becoming smooth and dark on the inside. It didn't appear magical, but Natalia and Piper were counting on its power.

"Achelous was right," she said. "You're his curse as much as he is yours. You're a sorry excuse for a hero."

Hercules stared at her as if she were speaking in Japanese. "You realize I could kill you with a flick of my finger," he said. "I could throw my club at your ship and cut straight through its hull. I could—"

"You could shut up," Jason said. He drew his sword. "Maybe Zeus is different from Jupiter. Because I wouldn't put up with any brother who acts like you."

The veins on Hercules' neck turned as purple as his robes. "You would not be the first Demigod I've killed."

"Jason will always be better than you," Natalia said, her eyes turning silver as she glared at him. "But we're not going to fight you. We're going to take the horn when we leave this island because you don't deserve it. Piper's going to keep it to remind us all of what not to act like as a Demigod, and to remind us of Achelous and Deianira."

The God's nostrils flared. "Do not mention that name! You can't seriously think I'm worried about your puny boyfriend. No one is stronger than me."

"She didn't say stronger," Piper corrected. "She said he's better."

Piper pointed the mouth of the horn at Hercules. The horn blasted forth a flood of food as powerful as Achelous' river. A torrent of fresh fruit, baked goods, and smoked hams completely buried Hercules. Natalia really didn't understand how all that stuff could fit through the entrance of the horn, but she thought the hams were especially appropriate.

When it had spewed out enough goodies to fill a house, the horn shut itself off. Natalia heard Hercules shrieking and struggling somewhere underneath. Apparently even the strongest God in the world could be caught off guard when buried under fresh produce.

"Jason!" Natalia screamed, who apparently had forgotten his part of the plan and was staring at the fruit pile in amazement. "Let's go, Sparky!"

He grabbed Natalia's and Piper's waists and summoned the wind. They shot away from the island so quickly, Natalia almost got whiplash; but it wasn't a second too soon.

As the island retreated from view, Hercules' head broke above the mound of goodies. Half a coconut was stuck on his noggin like a war helmet. "Kill!" he bellowed, like he'd had a lot of practice saying it.

"Fuck you, Hercules!" Natalia shouted. "Artemis will always be Zeus' favorite child! And Zoë Nightshade deserved better!"

Jason touched down on the deck of the Argo II. Thankfully, Leo had done his part. The ship's oars were already in aerial mode. The anchor was up. Jason summoned a gale so strong, it pushed them into the sky, while Percy sent a ten-foot-tall wave against the shore, knocking Hercules down a second time, in a cascade of seawater and pineapples.

By the time the God regained his feet and started lobbing coconuts at them from far below, the Argo II was already sailing through the clouds above the Mediterranean.

★彡

lol I know I say I'm working on stories all the time but I'm actually serious about it this time
I'm working on a barry allen story bc he's the love of my life and yeah that's pretty much it