₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎◞₊ ! 𓈒∿ ∿

Na Jaemin.

The name of the love of his life, his world, his star, his future—Na Jaemin.

He loves everything about him, his smile, his laugh, the way he talks so lovingly to his friends, the way he's so eager to learn new things, the way he creates nicknames for his friends.

The way Jaemin would smile at the most simplest things, the way he would always be happy to help people, the way he always makes time for his friends and family.

He loves it all.

It was simple, they became friends when they were kids and as the time passed by, he quickly grew a liking to the boy.

He knows everything about Jaemin and Jaemin knows everything about him.

Except for his crush on him of course, but that wasn't his fault.

Jeno didn't want Jaemin to know, not when Jaemin doesn't even like him back like that, and he never will.

Because he's just his best friend, nothing more, nothing less.

But he doesn't mind, he doesn't care if he'll forever stay in that position,

he doesn't care if Jaemin's love isn't for him.

As long as Jaemin is happy, he is too.

ᝰ 🐶 ᝰ
[ 6 Years, 2 months ago ]

"Nono, am I pretty?" Jaemin fluttered his eyes as he smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, you always are." Jeno ruffled his hair and chuckled when Jaemin whined.

"Then why doesn't anyone else think so.." Jaemin crossed his arms as Jeno took a final bite out of his caramel crepe.

"Do you think someone else in the world likes me?" Jaemin had crouched down as he picked up a small amount of snow and created a snowball.

"I don't know." Jaemin elbowed his leg lightly making Jeno crouch down with him.

"Well, there must be somebody." Jaemin giggled as he stacked two more tiny snowballs on top of each other. "You never know, it could be someone close to me."

Close to Jaemin? Who could that be?

"You're really too into that romance stuff." Jeno chuckled softly as he recalled.

"Yeah, duh." Jaemin turned to face Jeno.

"Love is interesting, so of course I'd be into it." Jaemin smiled and Jeno felt a blush crept on his cheeks—though he was grateful it was quite cold outside, he could blame it on that.

"How about you, Jen? Do you like somebody?" He looked at Jeno with his big doe eyes—the eyes that Jeno loved the most.

Why are you so cute?

"I guess so." He glanced down at their feet and looked up again when Jaemin gasped.

"Who?" Jaemin tugged on his coat's sleeve as he asked, Jeno thought he was adorable—he always is.

"Can't tell you." He laughed when Jaemin pouted at his answer, trying to focus on his tiny snowman instead.

I think I like you, Jaemin.

𖦹៹ ࣪˖⁩ ◞
[ 5 Years ago ]

"Jenose," His sister had poked him in the cheek. "where's Jaemin? I wanna play with him!"

"Stop calling me that," He groaned as he placed his book down on the coffee table. "you're four years older than me and yet you act like a baby, Yeeun noona." He scoffed.

"Just tell me where he is, idiot." She plopped beside him as she crossed her arms.

"I don't think you should go to him yet," Jeno sighed. "he's not feeling well."  Yeeun gasped.

"Is he sick? Oh no, poor baby.." She pouted and Jeno chuckled.

"Don't worry I'll take care of him, his parents aren't here so." Jeno got up and stretched his arms.

"You better! If you hurt him I'll kill you in your sleep." Yeeun scowled whilst Jeno just stuck his tongue out at her.

"You little bitc—"

"What was that Yeeun?"

"Nothing mom!"

Jeno put on his shoes and stepped out of their house, he sighed when he felt the cold breeze on his skin as he closed the door.

It was one of those days again, where Jaemin had gotten rejected for the sixth time.

He felt bad but most importantly—he felt hurt.

Jaemin was sometimes awfully oblivious, meaning that he would not notice some signs—unlike Jeno did.

Jeno had always saw the signs when Jaemin didn't.

Like how Seungmin had often made disgusted expressions whenever Jaemin looked away from him,

how Sunghoon would tell him backstabbing compliments,

how Jaehyuk would openly flirt with Jaemin, knowing fully well that he was just leading him on.

He saw all of them, and yet, every time he would try telling the boy,

it was already too late.

And it ached his heart every time, he felt pain in his chest whenever he saw how heartbroken Jaemin would look when he tried comforting him after.

It was like he had been stabbed with a stake in his heart, it also didn't help that with all this,

he still had a longing crush on him.

Yeah, it's cruel, he's making himself suffer, but it's even more cruel when he sees how sad Jaemin is.

He doesn't want that, all he wants is for him to finally be happy with someone, for someone to love him back the way he does, for someone to cherish him forever and keep him safe.

He wants to be that someone but he knows he can't, only in his dreams.

𖦹៹ ࣪˖⁩ ◞
[ 4 Years ago ]

"Jen, Jen."

"Yeah?"

"You know Mark? He talked to me for a bit!" Jaemin giggled as he moved a step into the line. "Well, more like asking me for a pencil—but still!" He whispered quietly.

"Mark, as in that guy in your class you keep talking about?" Jaemin nodded and turned around quickly, eyeing the food the lunch lady was offering them.

Once they both had their food on their trays, they went to an empty table at the back of the cafeteria.

"Aw, they ran out of peach slices.." Jaemin sighed as he ate sadly. "I hope they have some tomorrow." He pouted.

"With my magical powers, I can summon your peach slices tomorrow then." Jeno chuckled while he did weird motions with his hands.

"I doubt it, but okay, Jeno the oh so magical wizard." Jaemin rolled his eyes teasingly.

"Hey! Don't test my powers.." Jeno huffed at the scene of Jaemin laughing at him.

"Can you make Mark like me then?" Jeno quirked an eyebrow at him. "He's really nice and stuff—or just make him talk to me more or something." Jaemin added but soon after shrugged it off as he laughed at his stupid request.

Jeno might not be able to make that happen with his nonexistent powers, but he just hopes he can.

I want you to be happy Jaemin.

𖦹៹ ࣪˖⁩ ◞
[ 9 Months ago ]

"I really think things are better this way when I don't confess." Jaemin stated suddenly during their study session.

"You think?" Renjun batted an eye at him as he slowly closed his book.

"Yeah!" Jeno glanced up at him. "Nothing bad is happening and even better, I don't have to face rejection for the.. whatever time!" Jaemin smiled brightly at his remark.

"Well, I guess if you put it that way.." Renjun sighed. "Early congrats on your fourth year in your unrequited love." The blond had teased to which Jaemin just crossed his arms at him.

"No need to rub it in my face river kisse—" Jeno just stared in confusion as Renjun covered Jaemin's mouth, he laughed nervously as he glared at him.

To be frank, even Jeno was surprised—but he was relieved.

It was a bit sad though, but he understands why Jaemin had felt this way, not wanting to confess anymore.

For his whole life he had been rejected so many times, and the ones he didn't—the guy ended up either cheating on him the day after or used him for money.

He had been observing Mark from a distance, although with how busy he was the whole school year, he could only do so ever so often.

But he trusts Mark, he knows how kind he is and he hopes that when the day finally comes, Mark will be the person who'll make Jaemin happy.

ᝰ ꗃ ᝰ

Jaemin had given him a book to read, it was quite endearing—judging from the cover of the book.

It was a nice story about a human who had wished for company as they were lonely their whole life, and to the human's delight—their company was a star.

A star that could let the human wish for anything they wanted.

Jeno had only read at about halfway through when Jaemin calls him.

"Jenoo," He hears Jaemin whine and he suppresses the need to giggle, finding him adorable once again. "did you send the Hwang twins a story?"

Oh right, I almost forgot I even sent them one..

"Uh, yeah.. Why?" He flips through another page, reading the dialogue on the book.

"I decided not to send anything, yours and the others' stories are so weird."

Was he planning on sending ours?

"Even me?" He laughs, though he does admit, he has done some weird things before that Jaemin witnessed.

"Oh right, Mark gave me something!"

Something? A gift? What for?

"What is it?" He decides to ask, wondering what that something might be.

Yeah, he's a lot more curious than he's supposed to be but he can't help it.

"A bouquet! Can you believe that?" He pauses his reading as he hears Jaemin giggle.

He's given Jaemin flowers before, but never a full on bouquet.

He feels a bit of his pride hurt but he holds it in.

"He texted me saying to go to my locker—and boom!"

So that's why he needed to leave?

"Oh.."

"He even put a tiny note, it was so cute! Mark hyung is so sweet.."

He doesn't have a right to feel sad, he shouldn't feel so dejected about this.

He should be happy for him, his best friend, for Jaemin.

"I really like him."

And with that, he breaks, he finally breaks.

He felt bad for himself, that he's forcing himself to be okay, that he's making himself do all this, hiding himself away.

But he has no right, he never has.

"I have to go.."

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Jaemin.

"Huh? Nono—"

He ends the call abruptly, feeling himself shake and tremble.

"I'm sorry Nana." He cries out quietly, his tears falling and he feels his heart ache even more.

He's a coward, a damn coward.

But he can't blame it on Jaemin, he's the one who brought this on himself.

And he needs to endure it, for Jaemin.

Though sometimes, he can't help but think that, what if Jaemin liked him instead?

Would he finally be able to be the one to hold him? To love him and for him to love him back? To spend his future with him?

But, what if he never liked Jaemin at all?

He wouldn't have to experience all this pain right? He doesn't have to suffer anymore right?

"I love you, Jaemin."

But he doesn't love me back.

He isn't the one Jaemin wants, he isn't the one Jaemin likes,

he isn't Mark.

He's Jeno.