- Third-person point of view -
"I've warned you about sneaking around the place like that," Bobby mumbled frustrated, putting the door of the pantry ajar.
"It's not like I wanted to crawl through the window?" Lilly huffed, pulling the elastic out of her hair that held it tightly together. "I know they're here, I saw the Impala parked in front of the diner," she whispered, rubbing her temples while cursing her job for giving her daily headaches.
"Did they see you?" Bobby asked, keeping his voice down not to attract any attention.
"Don't think so, what are we gonna do?" she wondered, but the old man that Lilly had spend the last two months with didn't know anything more than she did. Causing him to simply shrug. "How long are they gonna be here for? I can book a motel downtown if it'll keep them out of my hair," she offered, briefly looking up at the bulb that had once again blown, letting a small sigh go knowing she would have to replace it.
When the only reply Bobby gave was a gentle shake of the head, she knew exactly what was going through his mind.
"No, please, don't tell them."
"Oh, I ain't gonna say a word." Lilly swallowed slowly at his fast response, looking him deep in the eyes in an attempt to understand him better because something in her said he wasn't fully on her side. That's when she saw it, his true intentions.
"You're going to make me tell them, aren't you?"
"Loud and clear. And every nitty-gritty detail." Lilly choked on her thoughts, already petrified of the thought of having to face them.
Sam, Castiel, and Dean had been worried sick, searching the entire planet for Lilly, and she had been hiding right there in Sioux Falls for two months. Right under their noses. The fact that Bobby knew and help her hide, however, did give her some reassurance. If Lilly was to get her ass kicked for her selfishness, she wouldn't be the only one. Bobby would be next in line for keeping it a secret.
"Bobby?" Dean's voice bounced through the halls, causing Lilly to flinch. If there was one thing the young woman had learned over the last months she had spent with a hunter, it was that if your instinct tells you to run, you run.
She wanted to leap back out the window, reaching for the old wood but Bobby stopped her, pulling her away from the glass.
"Not happening," he growled while grabbing her by the wrist. "I told you months ago when you stood on my porch, drenched in blood. Family isn't something you can just walk away from. Now suck it up and go tell them you're alive," he demanded, making Lilly bite her teeth as she yanked her arm loose. Her eyes menacing as she started Bobby down, inhaling slowly through her nostrils. She considered doing as she was told for one reason only. Because the man had been nothing but good to her.
"Bobby, you good?" Dean's voice sounded again, making her eye the crack in the door instead.
"Fine," she breathed the word while opening the door with her foot. Bobby walked out first, forgetting the coffee beans he originally was going to grab as his mind was filled with other things. Turning the corner Lilly left some space between them, giving Bobby the time to speak first.
The brothers eyed him for a second, wondering where the coffee was.
"You good? We heard some noise back there," Sam wondered, his hazel eyes soft in the morning light.
"Yeah, damned electricity-" Bobby began, building up the courage to admit his lies. "But um-I've to tell you boys something." His words made the angel's attention jump to him as well. He felt something in Bobby switch, an emotion he couldn't put his finger on. "Or more so show," he corrected, his eyes trailing off to the hall on his left, watching Lilly who was taking her apron off.
- Lilly-Mae's point of view -
I turned the corner, not only holding my breath but also my heart. A lot had changed in the last months, but at the end of the day, I was still nothing but a coward.
The room went ice-cold when four pairs of eyes were pointed at me. I expected a bomb to explode, but we had skipped that part completely. I was met with the aftermath.
My hands were tightly wrapped around my white apron as I lowered my eyes to the ground because that didn't look back at me like it was watching a ghost.
All I wanted was for us to just accept I was alive and well, but I understood that wasn't an option. Cas was the first to let my name roll over his tongue.
"Lilly-" he exhaled, the word sounding nothing but heartbroken. It caused a chill to roll over my spine, covering my body with goosebumps. The last time I had heard that word leave his mouth was when he was crying out for me as Lucifer was busy digging around in my guts like play-dough.
My eyes shot up, ready to meet those blue ones I had missed so much. They didn't look like how I remembered them, however. For the first time, there was barely any blue to detect. A somber gray, drained of life.
"Hi," I smiled softly, trying to hold back tears because crying wasn't an option. Cas clenched his jaw at my voice, and from one second to the other, he stood right in front of me.
Pressing his angel blade to my neck he forced me into the kitchen to push me against a wall. I gasped for air as those gray eyes were now just inches removed from mine. The sharp end of his blade gently cutting into my throat as blood started to flow. His action caused everyone to jump up, rushing towards us. Bobby was the first to reach us, pulling at the angel's coat only to get throw across his own house, flying into Sam.
"Cas!" Dean roared who knew to keep his distance, but it didn't matter what they tried doing. In that very moment, it was just the angel and me, the world around us put on pause.
Biting my bottom lip as tears started to form in my eyes, I laid my hand on his chest. On the fabric covering his heart that was beating loudly. Inhaling sharply through his nose Cas tried his hardest to ignore everything, putting his mind on just one thing.
"Get out of her," he hissed, pushing the blade deeper.
Lucifer-he thought I was possessed by the devil.
"Cas-" I breathed, "It's me-just me."
"Stop lying," he threatened. "I know it's you, Lucifer. There is no way I stood in the same building as her and was unable to feel her presence. The way her soul feels is engraved into my very essence." His words left me speechless, the only thing I was capable of doing was blink; causing a single tear to make its way down my cheek.
With the help of Sam, Bobby was back on his feet. Trying his best to breathe normally as nothing but rage was pumping through his body.
"Cas-you ass," he began. "It's her! It's really, her! You think I'm that big of an idijt to spend two months with Satan himself under my roof?"
Cas's eyes left mine to look at Bobby, but not before he placed his hand roughly on my chest; pinning me down to make sure I wouldn't escape. The angel blade against my neck still digging deeper.
"I'm sorry-but have you met Lucifer? If he knew he could get to us undetected via you, he'd be happy to pretend to be Lilly for years!" Castiel's eyes jumped back to mine, his fingers digging into my skin. "Now get the hell out of her," he hissed.
"Cas," I exhaled his name while taking my hand off his chest. "I am so sorry," I began. "I should've come running to you from day one, but I was terrified of leading Lucifer straight to you." His eyes rapidly jumped around my face as he tried to place the information being shared. "It's really me and I am so incredibly sorry." His fear was completely normal, Lucifer is one wicked bitch. Capable of grave things, so I had to prove to him that it was really me. That's when an idea crossed my mind.
"Touch my soul," I said determined, knowing that would be the only way Castiel would be certain it was just me in there. My offer caused his grip to loosen, knowing Lucifer would never put himself out there like that.
About a minute later I was seated in the living room, tied to a chair as my eyes mindlessly stared in front of them. Ever since I had left hell, my soul felt heavy. Having one being more so a curse than a blessing. Part of me had gone completely numb, but that other part had become overly sensitive. A constant battle was going on in my mind, fighting the guilt I felt, making me go numb to everything else at that very moment.
The rope that was cutting into my skin was the only thing I could put my focus on while my mind was tearing itself apart for having put the boys through all this stuff. Some part of me was aware of Sam who was taking care of the wound on my neck, but it went over my head for the most part as I was too busy drowning in my own understanding.
"How are you?" Sam's soft words shook me awake, causing a wave of tingles to flow through my nerves as I reconnected with reality.
"I'm good," I smiled, unsure of what exactly he meant.
"You sure? I mean-you were in hell, Lilly. For a long ass time."
"Apart from having lost my mind, I'm doing just fine," I explained while meeting his worried hazel eyes. They left me rather quickly when the angel came into my field of sight, rolling up his sleeve ready to enter my soul. Cas let a long heavy sigh go as Sam distanced himself from me, to join his bother and Bobby who stood at the opposite side of the room.
- Third-person point of view -
Even though Sam was no longer kneeled in front of the broken girl, her eyes were still focused on the spot he stood seconds ago. Lilly-Mae inhaled slowly as she could see the man in the trench coat near her in the corner of her eye.
"I know you've doubts," Lilly started, trying her hardest to break loose from the emptiness pumping through her veins. "But please, be gentle." Her words came over pitifuller than she had hoped for, but it was too late. They had made their way into everyone's ears, informing everyone about how weak she truly was.
Castiel tilted his head slightly, her words hitting right in that empty spot in his chest that had been aching for months, but with a brief switch in his head, he focused back on what was important.
"This might kill you," he explained, making her eyes shoot up to his.
"Then let's get on with it," she answered and before the oldest Winchester who strongly disagreed could interfere, Castiel's hand dug into her chest.
The bright white light of Lilly's soul bleeding out her body filled the room, blinding the people standing in it. The angel's eyes glowed blue as the girl shrieking made glass shatter around the house. Beer bottles exploded, picture frames cracked, and windows burst. Castiel had seen Lilly-Mae's power once before, but it came as a shock to the others. She didn't destroy Bobby's house on purpose, however, it was because high emotions are like strings attached to compressed power. Pull hard enough and something grave will follow.
The angel tried his hardest to focus on what was going on inside of her, but it was harder than expected. He knew that after what she had gone through in hell, Lilly's soul would be damaged, but it was almost as if there was nothing left. He dug deeper once more, ripping her matter apart even further. Lilly's nails dug into the wooden chair, splinters creeping under her nails as she fought the pain. Castiel heard Dean's furious words in the back of his head, and right when the brother had enough of it, Bobby pulled him into the kitchen to keep him from interfering.
That's when the angel found it, her soul. Lilly hadn't lied, however. It was just her in her body, and just like that, he pulled back. His hand twitched as he took a step back, his eyes glued to Mooney's face as he placed what he had just seen.
The youngest brother came rushing towards the two of them, ready to get to know whatever it was the angel had seen.
"And?" he asked impatiently, but Cas stood frozen on the spot as he clenched his jaw shut.
"Cas?" Sam asked again, worried this time as he placed his hand on the angel's shoulder. "Hey-Cas? What did you see? Is she possessed?" Castiel shook his head slightly, reassuring everyone Satan wasn't with them. That's when Sam's attention fully switched to the girl who sat on the chair, her head hanging forward, no longer making a single sound.
"Did you kill her?" Dean exploded who broke free from Bobby's grip. Sam pulled her head back, placing his fingers on her neck to look for a pulse. An eerie silence hung in the house for a couple of seconds, but Sam felt life. That's when Castiel finally broke down.
"Her soul-" he began, leaving Lilly to look at Dean who was prepared to put his hands around the angel's neck.
"It's broken?" Dean snapped.
"Not just brokenโ" Cas swallowed. "Pulverized."
Lilly was no longer sad or hurt. She had gone numb to everything. Lucifer had crushed her soul to dust, put it all in a ziplock bag, and put it back where it belonged. That, however, wasn't the thing Castiel was so concerned about.
"How is she still functioning as a normal being?" he asked, his eyes meeting those of Bobby.
"She's stronger than any of you know," he sighed as he looked around his house, at the glass that layed scattered all over.
- Lilly-Mae's point of view -
I let a big groan go while waking up from an awful nightmare. The boys had shown up, the angel under them digging into my soul to make sure I wasn't possessed by Satan himself. It felt so real, and at some point, I was certain Cas was going to kill me.
After debating it for a while, I opened my eyes ready to face the day when a pair of blue eyes greeted me. A single yelp escaped my mouth waking me from my sleep fully. Quickly breaking eye contact as whispers left my mouth.
"Not a nightmareโ"
"Good morning, Lilly," Castiel greeted, his eyes shimmering.
"Morningโ" I sounded uncomfortable, puzzled about why he was seated on the bed next to me, trying not to think about how long he might've had been staring at me for.
"My apologies for yesterday. I had to be sure you weren't possessed."
"No worries, I understand," I briefly rubbed over my chest where Cas had entered my soul yesterday as it still felt tender. "So, no Satan?" I wondered.
"No Satan," he replied with a brief smile that caught me off guard. It was weird seeing him without metal bars being in my field of view, but I wanted nothing but to get used to that again.
A short silence filled the room as I tried to figure out my thoughts. Some might've considered the next five minutes as awkward, but after everything the two of us had gone through, very little was left to be considered uncomfortable. The train of words filling my head derailed when Castiel decided to address the elephant in the room.
"How are you feeling? Hell was not kind to you."
"Neither it was to you, no need to worry about me, tell me how you have been," I replied rather fast, trying to keep my mind off the flames that crept their way up the inside of my skull. "Is Heaven still after you?" I wondered as I watched his blue eyes scan my face rapidly.
"No, not that I'm aware of, I haven't been in contact with Heaven nor any angel since the day you left," Castiel explained, causing me to ponder why. I understood that he didn't want anything to do with it any longer, but I was confused at why they hadn't tried stopping him, or myself for that matter.
"Bobby kept me in the house for more than a month, terrified the angels would come for me to bless me with their skill in torture, and you're telling me you haven't seen a single one for a year?" The only response he gave was a single nod of the head, and that's when anger started to fill my body. How was that possible? I had freed Lucifer himself, Castiel had rebelled as gravely as Satan himself did so many years ago, and Heaven didn't care?
"Do you mind?" I asked while pulling the bedsheets open, ready to start another hellish day. Opening one of my drawers, I revealed the outfit I would be wearing that day and headed to the bathroom; in the hopes a shower would get rid of all the things going through me. With the door ajar, I continued our conversation while getting undressed. "I don't understand, heaven has to care, right? Michael, Gabrielโthey're trying to shove Lucifer backโright?" Castiel's silence caused me to worry even more. There was no way they were letting him walk the earth without consequences. My hand reached towards the shower handle to turn it on but stopped right before touching the cold metal. "God? He has to care, the last thing He wants is Satan messing with His creation, right?" I swallowed slowly while impatiently waiting for a response. When the angel took more than three seconds, my mind already snapped. "Casโplease tell me God cares."
"I'm not quite sure He cares about anything anymore."
Coldwater gushed down the gutter not much after, no longer any hot steam filling the bathroom as years passed. After hell, warmth wasn't the same. Before it caused me to feel alive, but now, a cold that turned my lips blue was the only thing letting me know my heart was still beating. The knob turned all the way to the right, the water hitting my skin caused me to gasp for air, and in that very second, I remembered what it was like to be human.
Cas's words were echoing in the back of my head as my eyes stared at the tiled walls surrounding me. God himself no longer cared, and that's when I realized the world wouldn't end with a bang, but rather one scream at the time.
Sadly enough, the shower didn't end up doing any goodโif anything, it made things worse. My head pounding and my heart beating in an unsteady rhythm as I exited the bathroom fully dressed, still rubbing my hair dry. My eyes searched the room briefly as I no longer saw the angel sitting where I had left him. Instead, he stood next to my closet, curiously going through my clothes while being as gentle as possible with the different fabrics.
"Finding what you're looking for?" I smiled, catching him off guard.
"My apologies," he started, "I just wondered what your life had been like since you've lived here, with Bobby."
"Confusing, for the most part." He closed the closet as his attention switched back to me, ready to hear my story. "Let's just say I'm not that good at the art of staring over," I tried my hardest to explain so he'd understand that the last two months hadn't been easy; while still trying to be respectful, knowing what hell he must've had been going through.
"I don't know if it's bold of me to assume, but knowing Bobby, I'm sure he did everything he could to make you as comfortable as possible." He was right, the old grumpy drunk had put me back on my feet. Bobby had protected me like I was his own daughter, and showed me what it was like to have a father figure in your life. He was the main reason I was even willing to give life a third chance, which is pretty ironic considering I couldn't die.
When I somehow managed to jump off my own train of thoughts, I caught Castiel staring at me. He had a certain sparkle in his eyes I hadn't seen before; as if he was admiring me. Right when I wanted to ask him about it, the door of my room opened as Dean barged in.
"Casโ" he started, his eyes briefly making contact with me, but jumping right back to what was important. "We need you downstairs," he continued. It had been a year since I had last seen the oldest Winchester, but I could still pick his concerned voice out of a million different ones. The angel nodded as he passed me to join Dean.
"I'll be down in a sec," I smiled, planning on quickly grabbing a brush so I could go through my hair downstairs.
"No need, sweetheartโtake your time." And just like that, he closed the door behind them and it got my attention fully. Throwing the towel I was still holding on the bed, I forgot my hairbrush as I chased after them. Walking in on all of them sitting in the library, Dean's phone laid on the desk as it stood on speaker, making me stop in the kitchen to follow the conversation without interrupting. Sam who leaned against the left wall spoke up.
"Could you repeat that, Jody?" I remembered that nameโJody Mills, sheriff in Sioux Falls. I had met her once before, she's quite nice but little did I know she was a hunter.
"Sureโ" she started over the static of the phone speaker, "I've been following up on a case that has been going on in Casper, Wyoming. So far, three vics have been found, now this is where it gets interesting. Hearts ripped out their chest only to be stuffed in their mouths, and all of them had this symbol carved in their forehead. I don't know but I'm pretty sure this is you guys' kind of thing."
It was a caseโa real one. Bobby had been on very small ones in town, a single vampire here, a wolf there. Nothing major, but thisโit sounded pretty serious, and I wasn't the only one thinking it.
"Could you send us the case files? I'd like to have a look at those symbols you're talking about," Sam asked kindly, but I could hear his brain already working from a distance.
"Sure thing," Jody answered, shortly after that hanging up the phone. Still keeping my distance, the hunters evidently tried to figure things out, and I was impressed at how their way of thinking worked.
Sam cleared his thought before talking, "Casper Wyoming, sounds familiar?" His brother nodded.
"Devil's gate,"
"Yupโ"
And just like that my little brain couldn't follow. "You're saying this has something to do with Lucifer?" I asked as I walked closer, officially announcing my presence. Castiel, however, shook his head.
"It might be him, or just a regular case. Either way, we've to stop whatever is causing this."
"I'll go with," I said determined, only for Dean's sarcastic laugher to fill my ears a second later.
"Not happening."
"Why not? So far we know, I'm unkillable? If I'm doomed to live forever, might as well become a hunter and help the world a little."
"It's not because you can't be killed that you can't get hurt," he snarled, "and you need to have a little more on your resume besides, unkillable, to make the cut," Dean continued, causing my eyes to jump to Bobby who perfectly knew where this was heading. He shook his head gently, but I had put my mind on it already.
"I'm pretty sure I could be of good use when it comes to hunting," I smiled.
"And why's that?" Dean asked rather rude, testing my temper while at it.
"You really think I spend the last months working in a diner, and that's it?" My eyes jumped to the beer bottle he was holding right after that, and with a second of focus, it shattered into a million pieces. A suppressed gasped escaped Dean as he pulled his hand back, but his attitude didn't shift, contrary; it became even worse.
"Wowโwith that power we'll be able to take over the world," he mocked, and that was the little push I needed to flick that switch in my head.
"Samโ" I started as my eyes jumped to him, "think of a place." He confusedly looked at me as he made up his mind. "You got a place?"
"Yeahโ"
I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes, focussing on those needles pumping through my veins. At first, I was scared of the pain that using my powers caused, but after a while, I was able to embrace it. Just like that, crackling filled the room and when I reopened my eyes I was greeted by a portal I had created that stood tall and strong in the kitchen.
"Cas, be my guest and go check what's on the other side, please," I smiled while gesturing towards the portal. The expression on Dean's face was now more how wanted it from the start. I knew he was pissed at me for lying about my wellbeing, but he had to understand it was not my intention to hurt anyone. His miss judgment about my power, however, was not to be messed around with.
The angel was gone for about a minute or two before reappearing on the exact spot he stood yesterday when we first made eye contact, a confused expression on his face.
"And? Where did it lead?" Sam asked impatiently.
"I stood on some sort of castle, surrounded by various small lands." Dean's eyes jumped to his younger brother after having heard the angel's explanation.
"Disney-World?" he questioned, wondering why on earth Sam would think of that place as the first thing to pop up in his head. The only reaction he got, however, was an amused shrug.
"So, is my resume good enough for you?" I asked rather annoyed.
"Lilly," Dean started, and the hair in the back of my neck stood on end at my name leaving his mouth. It had been ages, and I welcomed it with wide-open arms. "Please understand that I'm worried about youโwe're worried about you. We just got you back not even twenty-four hours ago, Iโwe, just want you to be safe and happy."
"If that's the case, teach me how to protect myself and the people I love." That caused him to shut or give up. Either way, I had the feeling I had won that argument. My checks slightly burning from defending myself against the most stubborn person I had ever know, and when my eyes trailed off to the left I caught a hint of a smile on Bobby's face.
"Soโ" I cleared my throat before continuing, "I'll go over to my job right now and quit so we can start figuring out what's killing people," Dean's green eyes hadn't left me for a second, and once more he had to speak his mind.
"You really sure about this? There's only one way out of this life, and it's bloody."
"I rolled into this life bloody, guess I'll go out the same."