*sighs* Hi there.
So.. it's been a really long time since I've been on here. You probably forgot about me but then again, I don't blame you. I'm so so sooooo sorry for just leaving again. I feel so bad, I really do! I just abandoned you all and...that's not good. I feel extremely guilty and... I'm sorry. However, I can't make a promise that I'll truly return. You see while I was gone, I've been through a lot.

1. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and it's taken a huge toll on my emotions and my will to be here on Wattpad (and Earth). Lack of motivation and lonliness is my biggest issue as of now but I'm trying. There are other things but I won't go into that.

2. As much as it hurts me to say this, I no longer have a passion for writing. Period. I've tried and tried to write. Something. Anything. But nothing felt right. I couldn't get back into it no matter how much I tried. I've looked at videos, read prompts, read other stories, just anything to get my motivation back and nothing. I never posted my works because I never found satisfaction in them. Now I know why. I'm just not into it anymore... It makes me really sad to be honest.

3. Even though I'm no longer into writing, I've become more interested in video editing. I actually have some meme edits on instagram and I'm quite proud of some of them. Even if they are really shitty lol. I highly suggest you follow my instagram since I'm WAY more active there. My account is @/softshuax

4. Recently, (as in a month ago) I realized that I'm a lesbian! I also identified as biromantic for a while but now I identify as lesbian and I feel so much better. I know it's crazy but it's true. I'm not gonna get into details right now but if you wanna know more about this, then let me know.

5. I've been so busy with school it's ridiculous. When I finally free time, I'm too tired to anything.

Logging back in today I realized something. When I logged in I felt so nostalgic but I didn't understand why. Well as dramatic and cheesy as it sounds, there's a piece of me here. An extremely cringey, loud, younger piece of me here. I mean look at my username! NamjinIsLyfe?? Wtf type of name is that lol. Don't get me wrong, I still ship Namjin but yIKES!!

Listen, I joined Wattpad in December 2015. I was 14 years old! Can you believe that? I'm 17 now and so much has changed. My closest friend here deactivated (we're still in touch though), I have no idea who is who due to username changes, and Wattpad is charging money now! Since when??? Anyways, I've matured a lot and honestly, being here just doesn't feel right anymore. I mean the only reason why I'm posting this is out of extreme guilt and because I saw FAB3Fanfics message on my board and I broke. Don't get me wrong, I've missed being here and I miss the people I've met here but... it feels almost as if I've grown out of this place you know. I don't know it's strange but that's how I feel.

I know it sounds like it but this is NOT a final goodbye. Not after I just got back. I couldn't dare to bring myself to say goodbye after being here for so long anyways. This is just purely an explanation for my absence. Again, I'm so so sorry. I should've said I was going on a hiatus or something but I didn't and I feel horrible. Hopefully, after reading you'll have an understanding as to why I've been gone.

I don't know what I'm going to do for this account in the future if anything. I thought about clearing out everything and starting over from scratch but I can't. Too many memories. Super cringey ones but they made me happy. So I'm going to leave everything here as is and untouched. My works, bio, profile and all. Well.. I may delete my meme book. That's just too much! However, I might make a whole new account. I don't know what I'm going to do or if I'm gonna be any more active but who knows? Only time will tell.

If you read this far ( or read it at all lol) thank you, thank you so much!! I really am sorry for abandoning this account! Everyone I've met here means so much to me and I wish I got the opportunity to express that sooner. I truly am sorry. Please forgive me! I miss and love you guys so much!!

Thanks again for reading!
Byeeeeee!! 💕💕