Aries: Fuckdingle

Taurus: Satan's Asscrack

Gemini: Shitdicks McTittysprinkles

Cancer: Democrap

Leo: Cockjuggling thundercunt

Virgo: Republicunt

Libra: Limp Dick McNorrington

Scorpio: A metric fuckton of douchebaggery

Sagittarius: Fuckity fuck fuck fuckington

Capricorn: Bitchnugget

Aquarius: Fuckaroni fuckaroni give me the formuoli

Pisces: Cuntball