Pt. 4: Death

The death of Kim Taerae, a fellow resident made the whole apocalyptic situation more real than it ever was- at least to the people who took the efforts of saving the place for granted. The mosnter form of Taerae caused heavy damage to a side of the wall of the store, which is why they decided to shorten the night watch shifts in order to increase efficiency. That night, many struggled to sleep- so when it was Yujin's turn to keep watch, Ricky found Gyuvin sitting on one corner, wide awake, lost in deep thoughts.

He approached the anxious male, took a seat by his side. Seeing him, Gyuvin tried to smile.

"Can't sleep?" Ricky asked. Gyuvin nodded. "Seems like you can't either."

"Hm..." Ricky sighed, "Did it happen again today? The nosebleed?"

"Only once." The younger replied. He then looked down, the only thought that covered him all along- how long till he finally loses control and changes into a monster. Ricky understood, so he took the other's hand to assure him, "Hey, you're doing great, you know?"

Gyuvin could swear he looked pitiful. Ricky was holding his hand, he fantasized about this moment for a long time- that someday he'd confess to Ricky, tell him how wonderful he looked, how attractive he was and how he made Gyuvin feel like a school boy all along. He wanted to hold Ricky's hand the same way, in a beautiful café of a green park, and then maybe Ricky would blush, tell him that he felt the same way, and they'd probably exchange kisses. It's funny how the whole situation had turned a complete 180°. They were stuck in a store, fighting bloody monsters- or worse, the demon inside.

"I... Don't want to hurt anyone." Gyuvin felt his eyes getting wet, "Promise me, Ricky, if I turn, kill me before anything."

"You won't hurt anyone." Ricky insisted, "You didn't turn even after watching him, I'm sure you can resist it, Gyuvin. I'll make sure you can. Trust me, hm?"

Gyuvin tried to smile again, with his eyes glistening with accumulated tears. "Thanks, Ricky. I .. it means a lot."

The response he received was a small nod of head and a pretty smile on the handsome male's face. His scar was still as prominent as ever, yet he looked stunning- like he always did. Gyuvin felt a pinch in his chest, a happy kind of pain. The moment then and there was so precious- the guy he crushed on was worrying about him. Even amidst the unstableness, he kept the whole thing a secret. Did that mean Ricky also had a thing for him?

"Hey, um.." Gyuvin started, "I know it's like the worst time and.. it probably will sound ridiculous as hell, but.. I don't know how long I'm going to live, so, I wanted to tell you something."

Curious, Ricky stared at him.

"I always had a thing for you." The younger said, "When you first moved in and I found out that you were of the same age as me, not to lie I was kinda jealous. But then I thought about it, you had such a clear goal, a strong mindset and you looked intimidating but you were kind and fun to talk to .. I don't know when but... I think I fell for you."

There was a glaze in Ricky's eyes that scanned Gyuvin's entire face.

"It doesn't make any sense, does it?" He chuckled, "But, well... I like you, Ricky. A lot. I wish I could say it to you before all of these started."

Ricky's eyes trembled. It was hard to tell whether he was happy or annoyed, until he put his free hand on top of their locked hands, to strengthen the grip.

"I'm happy you chose to tell me at least." He said, "Cause I.. after everything that's been happening, there's only one person I want to keep living for." Gyuvin asked for the name, and he received it with a smile, "It's you, Kim Gyuvin. I don't think I can live on if anything happens to you."

Gyuvin responded with a hug. A bear hug to be exact. He felt so sad yet so contented- he really hated that he was infected. Now that he got the man to like him back, it all felt more burdensome.

No, no negative thoughts. Yujin told them all- they must stay hopeful at all costs.

So he parted, and stared at Ricky's beautiful face.

"Would you mind if I ask for a kiss?" He asked. In the dark night, he couldn't picture the shy smile on Ricky who nodded ever so slightly. Gyuvin approached him. The raw smell of Ricky's face, that still smelled somewhat innocent and sweet urged him to hold the chin and pull it down to create a gap between those lips, just a little. And then Gyuvin's lips met those strawberry plump ones. He closed his eyes, imagining a garden in bloom around them. For a second he tried to forget everything nightmarish- for his wildest dream was coming true.

He was kissing Ricky. And Ricky was kissing back.

Gyuvin held his neck, bringing themselves closer. Ricky moved clsoer as well. The cold night felt nothing compared to the warmth their bodies radiated. Their eyes were gently closed, hands slowly caressing each other's skin. Gyuvin was careful not to hurt the cut on the other's face. It felt so nice, almost illegal to feel that way in such a situation.

Yet, after they pulled away for breathing, they reconnected those lips. Kissing softly, slowly. There was no rush, in fact, they wouldn't even stop if someone's sudden interruption didn't make them.

It was Yujin, who cleared his throat, intentionally turning another way. Gyuvin and Ricky separated in a flash.

"It's your turn now, hyung." Yujin bluntly said, addressing his cousin.

"Oh!" Gyuvin stood up abruptly, "Right, I'll go."

Ricky stood up too, saying, "Then I'll accompany him."

"Sure," Yujin smirked, "But don't get distracted like this on your watch."

Gyuvin only smacked him on the arm, the cheeky young male laughed in response. He felt relived though. He was aware of his hyung's unreturned feelings. Seeing it being reciprocated only earned good wishes from him. He sat down where Gyuvin was, watched the other two take the front side of the store, near the broken wall. They did not start kissing again, but they did hold hands, staying quiet for the time being. Yujin sighed in relief. He was worried about Gyuvin, that he'd get infected since he worries too much. But with Ricky, maybe his hyung would be alright. Maybe he wouldn't have to witness another incident like Kim Taerae.

'Now he doesn't need you anymore. Why don't you take my offer?' A deep voice in his head spoke to Yujin. He sighed, fighting the voice was growing more difficult every day.

"I won't." He shortly replied.

'Why? You think you can protect any of them? They don't even care if you're alive.'

"They do. My hyung does."

'The hyung of yours has found his priority now.'

"It doesn't mean he'll be leaving me out."

'If you let me in, you'll be able to do anything you want. Kill anyone, protect anyone. You won't have to live in fear of dying.'

"I'd rather die than killing anyone." Yujin frowned, "And if I die, I wanna die a human. So get lost." He waited for some more convincing, but the voice was gone. For the time being. With a sigh, Yujin looked around. Even in despair there was hope. He saw, in one corner there was Matthew and Jiwoong spooning each other to sleep. Across from them, Hanbin and Zhang Hao were probably talking before they fell asleep- Hao's head was on Hanbin's shoulder. Yujin smiled, he could tell something was budding inside them. And then there was Gunwook, recovering fast.

People live on hoping. That's what saves them from succumbing to their own demons. He shouldn't ever stop hoping, at least that can save him from the monster growing inside.

-

Days after the environment inside the store had changed a lot. The saved up snacks were all finished, they had to live on supplies which were limited. So Hanbin was in charge of distributing food. Every now and then, conflicts will arise because of this, which would trigger those prone to negativity. Zhang Hao, Gunwook and Yujin were set to do counseling every day. Jiwoong had managed to gather some firearms from the missions outside, he tried to teach a few of them, especially Matthew. They had slowly accepted the situation, even though many would hope to wake up from the nightmares and go back to as things were before.

Holding on to fragile hope however, especially if one's already infected was tough. Really tough. Even though Gyuvin was supposed to be happy after Ricky had returned his feelings, he fell prey to the thoughts that ate him up. It started when one night, he woke up alone. He clearly remembered that Ricky had slept next to him. So he went to search for the man and found him elsewhere, sleeping alone. This caused him to think that maybe Ricky was afraid of him after all.

Then there were constant analysis about monsters and how harshly they should be killed. Gyuvin couldn't help hearing these everywhere. People hated monsters- and they had every right to do so, but it only caused fear in him. This budding fear kept him on edge. Yujin had a hunch. But he didn't know that his brother was infected, so couldn't go to the pit bottom. But Ricky did. So one day, when Gyuvin purposefully avoided him, he cornered the younger to look for answers.

"Why are you doing this, Gyuvin?" He asked, concerned.

"Doing what?" Gyuvin asked. "I'm just trying to protect you."

"By avoiding me? Why?"

"That's cause I can turn anytime!" Gyuvin sounded desperate, "If I'm close to you, maybe I'll end up attacking you. Do you want that?"

"You're not.." Ricky sighed, "Look, how many days has it been? Almost 10. Remember what Yujin said? Resist it for 15 days and you can take control-"

"And become a monster at will, right?" Gyuvin laughed bitterly, "I don't believe I'm that lucky."

"Why not? You're doing so well, Gyu."

"Yet you're scared of me."

"No! What-"

"That's why you leave me after I fall asleep." Gyuvin said, "You're scared too, aren't you? That I'm going to change overnight and you'll be the first victim."

Ricky indeed had that fear, but he didn't want to say it out loud. So he lied, "It's not like that, why would I be scared?"

"It's cause I'm about to become a monster." Gyuvin's throat became dry. He expected Ricky to say something, but he just stood there, looking anxious. Touching his face, Gyuvin knew why. He had started bleeding through his nose again, and his eyes- they were turning black.

"See? You're scared." Gyuvin laughed, blood spilled on the floor, Ricky couldn't step forward. A crippling fear petrified him. He wanted to say no, wanted to run and hug the boy he liked, but Gyuvin looked different. Frightening. Not vulnerable or weak- rather enraged. The younger turned around and crouched down, quickly taking out the pile of tissue papers he kept in his pocket. He pressed them over his nose, closed his eyes to let the moment pass. He forced good thoughts in him, although there weren't many. Even those shared with Ricky, he felt like everything had been a lie.

Gyuvin recovered within minutes. He hid those blood stained tissues and also wiped the floor. He glanced at Ricky once, standing there with a guilt ridden face. "Please don't lie to me again. I totally understand if you don't want to be near me." He said, then left. Ricky once again failed to go after him and say in words that he still wanted to be next to the younger male.

Gyuvin was hurt. He was barely holding on, despair amd frustration got the best of him. He hid in a corner, sitting against the wall, hiding his face in the knees as he cried his heart away. He felt so lost, so unfortunate. He wanted to run away, but he wasn't brave enough to do that. Like a selfish man, he wanted to spend few more days with people he loved. Even after turning, he wanted to remember the feeling of love and gratitude.

He heard footsteps. Thinking that Ricky had arrived to visit him, he looked up. But it was Yujin.

"Hyung? Is everything alright?" The younger leaned before him, eyes covered in worry.

"Oh I'm... Just a little tired and.. sad."

"Don't be! Please! I- I know it's impossible but you need to have high hopes. Or else-"

"It's okay, I'm just.. I'll get over it."

"Where's Ricky hyung? Why are you all alone here?" Yujin asked again.

"He's uh... coming."

"Are you sure? Will you be alright? Cause I can stay if you-"

"Where are you going?" Gyuvin interrupted.

"Oh, to bring supplies. It's my turn today." Yujin answered.

"Why you?" Gyuvin frowned, "It's not safe out there."

"Everyone else had already gone out once, only a few of us are left. We should join too, right?" Yujin tried to persuade his brother, "Don't worry, Hao hyung is gonna be there with me, I'll be alright."

"But.. what if-"

"Don't worry, I'm gonna be fine." Yujin smiled, "But, hyung, you should not be staying alone here. Shall I call Ricky hyung or Hanbin hyung?"

Gyuvin smiled back, "I'll go instead." He stood up. Accompanying the younger all the way to the van along with Zhang Hao and a cheerful guy named Jay. But as soon as they were gone, the cloud of darkness fell on Gyuvin.

What's the point of living like this? Is anything going to change? How long will they last? What is there to look forward to? Gyuvin walked back to the store, looked at the faces of people. They all looked terrified. Did they really think they'd last?

Less careful people missed the fact that Gyuvin had started bleeding again. And as he walked small droplets of blood fell on the floor. But in the store were people keen on surviving, and they noticed. Hanbin, Jiwoong and Matthew were discussing something, when the first male noticed the blood drops.

"What is it?" He sat down, touching the stain, "It's fresh."

"Holy .. did anyone-?" Jiwoong asked, worried.

"Maybe.." Hanbin carefully thought- had anyone been infected lately?

"Get the gasoline, we need to follow the trails." Jiwoong said. With a nod, Hanbin went to get that. Matthew looked at his boyfriend in worry, "We won't do anything unless we make sure that they had turned, okay?"

Jiwoong pressed his lips and agreed. Matthew really hated the idea of killing innocent people; he didn't know, if the infected lot aren't killed, they'd be the ones to kill innocent people afterwards.

Once Hanbin returned, they started following the steady line made by the blood droplets. With every step, they became more and more worried. The trail stopped before the narrow shared bathroom. It was occupied. Most likely the infected person was in there.

Jiwoong kocked first, "Who's in there?" He got no reply, so he knocked again, "Say something or we're going to break the door."

"Hyung, let me talk to them." Matthew suggested, then in a calmer tone, said, "We won't hurt you, just come out, and tell us everything. We'll figure something out."

They waited for a few intense seconds. Then slowly, the bathroom door opened. Hanbin's eyes widened, it was Gyuvin.

"Kim Gyuvin??" He gasped. The other kept his head low.

"When did it happen?" Matthew looked sympathetic, he even went to touch the younger's arm. Gyuvin only flinched.

"Let's talk elsewhere." Jiwoong suggested, sensing curiosity in the people around them. They all agreed. Hanbin took Gyuvin's hand and took him along with them, to an empty space of the ground floor, away from the store.

"When did it start? How many days had it been?" Hanbin asked. The three men kept their distance yet took such a stance that made it look like they were holding their defense. Gyuvin eyed the tools in their hands. A jerrican full of fuel, a lighter, knives and Jiwoong probably had a gun too. For the first time, Gyuvin knew, those were all directed towards him. Not to protect him anymore.

"You're going to kill me, right?" He asked, voice so broken that if you've heard it, your heart would ache.

"Not if you don't hurt any of us." Matthew carefully answered.

"What are you going to do then?" Gyuvin asked again, "I know you don't trust infected people to stay with you."

"We'll quarantine you." Hanbin said. They hadn't done it yet, since the only other infectee, Taerae had been killed.

"And?"

"If you behave, you live, otherwise, you die." Jiwoong said, he was blunt, clear with his intention. However, it didn't work well. Gyuvin glared at him, and his eyes started to turn black. The three men put their guards up, Gyuvin's face turned red, veins in his forehead popped up and he started bleeding again.

"Stay back." Jiwoong calmly commanded.

"Or what?" Gyuvin asked, "You think I'm going to hurt you?"

"No, you won't. And we won't do anything either." Matthew tried saying, "You have to resist it, think about us, your cousin, you wanna be with them, right?"

"What good are they going to do anyway?" Gyuvin said, "Everyone's scared of me. You guys are, even Ricky... You don't see me as one of you anymore. One mistake and you'll pour that over me and light me up on fire." He started crying, "Like you did with him."

"Taerae killed our friends!" Jiwoong said, "What would you do if it were Yujin in their place?"

"He was grieving." Gyuvin said, "I could tell, he was hurting so bad!"

"Monsters don't grieve! They don't have any emotion."

"How would you know!?" Gyuvin almost growled, and a sudden projection shot out of his back, immediately lashed out at Jiwoong, punctured through his chest and hit the wall behind, lifting Jiwoong up in the process. A heart wrenching groan was heard as Jiwoong started bleeding through his chest. Matthew made a scream and ran to save his boyfriend who was still stuck in the tail like projection. Another projection grew out of the same segment on Gyuvin's back that went to Matthew's direction. Seeing that, even with his chest pierced, Jiwoong managed to take out the knife attached to his belt and cut the blackish red thing off, that made him fall face down, Matthew caught him before he could hit the ground.

"Hyung!" He cried. Gyuvin's second tail stopped right before Matthew, maybe he remembered that the latter was the only one on Taerae, a potential monster's side.

Hanbin didn't stand there idly. He uncapped the can in order to throw gasoline at Gyuvin, but some hurried footsteps and a strong "Don't do it please!" Stopped him. He looked back, Ricky came running, Gunwook closely behind.

"Please don't!" Ricky grabbed the can on Hanbin's hand.

"What??" Hanbin protested, "He attacked Jiwoong hyung!"

"I'll talk to him, please!" Ricky begged with two hands. He looked at Gyuvin, there were eight such tails out of his back, all moving like snakes, even the one Jiwoong had cut off healed completely. He was still glaring at Jiwoong, but didn't attack since Matthew was right before him. In fact, the latter was weeping, touching the fallen man's chest with trembling hands. Jiwoong was persistent, that's why, he sat up, more blood escaped him as he did that. Matthew grabbed his hands to stop him, but Jiwoong didn't listen. Gyuvin hissed at him, yet he stood up, keeping Matthew behind him, safe.

"Gyuvin, stop!" Ricky asked, seeing as Gyuvin prepared the sharp end of one of the tails to attack again. "You're not a monster, come back to your senses, babe, please!"

Gyuvin's brain seemed to freeze for a moment hearing Ricky's 'babe'. He turned his head, saw the fearful face of his crush. The black eyeballs glistened as he remembered that face, but he also remembered how Ricky felt about him.

"You're scared of me too." He said, in a harsh voice. And with that, he let out a wail. It sounded like a dog's cry, but worse. Had Matthew not been worried shit about his boyfriend's wound, he would probably ask to save Gyuvin.

"Hanbin, do it!" Jiwoong said, it was getting hard for him to keep standing. Matthew gripped his shirt and begged him to leave the place, to take aids. But Jiwoong needed to put an end to everything. However, hearing him speak, Gyuvin got triggered again, he threw another blow to Jiwoong who stopped it with his arms and the knife, and it scratched both, Jiwoong held his arm in pain.

"We gotta leave, please!" Matthew begged.

"Sung Hanbin!" Jiwoong said again, by that time, he had fallen down on his knees.

"Don't!" Ricky held the container again, Hanbin threw him away with all his strength. Gyuvin saw that, and threw a projection sidewise, directed at Hanbin. Good thing Gunwook was there with his favourite knife to cut it off, giving Hanbin the opportunity to pour gasoline on Gyuvin.

"I beg you, don't kill him!" Ricky came running again, begging Hanbin, but he had already finished the whole can on the monster. Gyuvin sensed danger, so he tried moving away, but he was surrounded by armed men, Jiwoong had managed to take out his gun, so he fired at Gyuvin's chest, which blocked him from moving. In pain and fear and who knows, maybe sorrow, Gyuvin started throwing his eight wings-come-tails everywhere, the others had to duck below to avoid getting hit. Even Ricky, who was still begging and crying, in fear of his life, hid his face in between his arms. Jiwoong turned around and hugged Matthew, so that the latter stayed unharmed. Even injured, Jiwoong was strong, strong enough to hold Matthew tight. He was unlucky, since Gyuvin's initial target was him. So he got hit. Again and again on his back. The sharp, pointed edge slashed his clothes, his skin, his flesh. He tolerated it with gritted teeth. He knew he was done for, so his last and only goal was to protect the boy in his arms. Matthew was screaming in his hold, begging for him to let go and take some aids. Another male was screaming, Shen Ricky when Hanbin finally threw the ignited lighter at Gyuvin, who immediately caught himself on fire.

"No! Why!?" Ricky wanted to run at him, but Gunwook held him, there was no saving the wild monster. They all watched, how Gyuvin threw his tails everywhere- breaking the walls, crashing against it then falling down, groaning, screaming, crying. It took him a few moments to stop moving and burn away to death. Ricky cried so hard, never did he ever imagine what had happened. That he'd have to witness someone so precious to him die such an agonizing death.

When the attacks on his back stopped, Jiwoong dared to look back, he saw Gyuvin's or better, the monster's dying body on the ground, all his tails getting crisp from burning. His face, body, limbs unrecognizable. He let go of Matthew at last, falling down. He didn't have any single bit of strength left, since he ached all over. The blood loss made him dizzy, the exposure of nerves in open air made him wanted to die as fast as possible cause it hurt so bad.

"No, no no!" Matthew sat up. His entire body, including his face was covered in Jiwoong's blood, since his head was pressed in that chest. He held his man, shaking him. Jiwoong was breathing hard.

"Hanbin hyung! Help me take him inside! You need to treat him, fast!"

Hanbin came running towards them. Jiwoong was barely in one piece. A large hole in his chest, several long, deep cuts on his back, on his arms, and so much blood around him. Hanbin could tell, it was over. But he couldn't say it in words, seeing how badly Matthew wanted to save him. So he did one thing, he moved his head from left to right.

"No! Stop lying!" He looked at Jiwoong again, "I'm gonna save you, hyung! Don't lose your breath. Close your eyes, I'll carry you. Here-"

"Matthew," Jiwoong touched his face, "I'm sorry..."

"What?" Matthew was in disbelief, "What for? You're not going anywhere! Stop talking nonsense!"

"I wanted to keep my promise, but... I don't think.." He breathed hard. Hanbin kneeled down beside him. By that time, Gunwook had also joined them, since Ricky ran to check what was left of Gyuvin; he was weeping like a kid, but no one wanted to cry over a monster.

"Hanbin hyung, please! Tell me you can do it! You saved Gunwookie, you can save him too!"

"Honey... I love you." Jiwoong said, "You have to keep living... okay?" He looked at Hanbin and Gunwook, "Take care of him... please.."

Matthew could only cry, seeing his boyfriend looking at him with a smile, despite being in indescribable agony. He felt so guilty, that should have been him, not his brave, loving boyfriend. Before everyone, thus, Jiwoong left his last breath, dying in his lover's arms, the ghost of that smile still lingering on his dead face.

-

The next one will be the last one I promise. But I loved writing this one! Hope you like it too! ❣️

damieuwu said I'm cruel, but what are you who enjoy reading this? 🥲