I was sitting in the cafeteria where they usually had visitors come in and talk to the kids. It was too nice to be the cafeteria where we actually ate. It was weird being on this side of things. I was so used to coming here wearing orange and being escorted by a guard that it almost didn't feel right coming here without one. 

I was bobbing my leg up and down as I nervously waited. The guards here seemed to remember me because they all gave glares or just straight up ignored me when I told them that I was wanting to talk to Rex. But it's okay, I get it. 

But a hello would have been nice.

I side-eyed a kid who looked to be about twelve, talking to his family. They seemed to be genuinely concerned for him. He had a black eye, and the way he was hiding his left hand, seemed to me like it was gonna be pretty bloody.

He locked eyes with me for a second. His eyes got wide, and he shrunk, averting his gaze downwards. The family looked over at me and I smirked, nodding as if to say, Hi, how's it going, I'm top dog around here.

Not any more.

Shut up.

The doors opened and a guard pushed a guy into the room. I looked up and Rex was standing there. I couldn't help but smile as he gave the guard something, and the guard left.

I wasn't going to run up and hug him or anything, that goodbye was a one-time thing. Rex and public or private displays of affection usually didn't go together too well. He thought it made him seem too attached. 

I thought it made him less of a robot, but agree to disagree on that.

"Hey, Spy girl."

I smirked, "Hey T-Rex. What'd you pay him for?"

"Extra time, fifteen minutes never seemed to be enough."

I laughed, "You kidding, fifteen minutes never seemed to be short enough."

"That's just because your parents decided to make you feel bad about what you did and how their lives were shit because of you."

"Thanks for reminding me, asshole."

Rex was about to open his mouth to apologize, but then he saw my smile and thought otherwise. It was something about him, he never liked to apologize, but he would.

"So how've your three days of freedom been?"

I scoffed, "Shitty."

"Why?" 

"Well, I was originally with my PO, and it made me want to get back here as fast as I could, but then she asked a family if I could stay with them for a while, like a sleepover kind of thing, just until my probation was done, I'm guessing. It's like she knew I wouldn't try anything outrageously horrible with a family and a roof over my head."

"Yeah, Ms. I don't want to get anyone else in trouble." He said smiling.

"Oh, fuck you, you're the exact same way."

Rex shrugged, "Yeah, that's true."

"Anyway. The mom's a bitch, thinks that I'm some sort of gang leader or some shit. Probably believes that I'm gonna steal everything and take all their money or something."

"I'm guessing she thinks you're like a Gallagher?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"You know, I always pictured you as an Ian kind of person."

I nodded, sounded like me, "I can get behind that."

"So how's the dad and the kids?"

"Uh, actually, haven't seen a dad around. There's a 7 or 8-year-old named Sammy, adopted. A little too innocent for me, and she's a hugger. You would hate her."

"I would."

"And then there's the guy that I'm roommates with-"

"Wait, you're rooming with a guy?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You know that foster homes can't do that, right?"

I shrugged, "I'm not in foster care, my PO just asked a family to look after me. Nothing legal, no paperwork, none of that shit."

"Oh," Rex said, almost upset.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just, what's he like?"

"A self-righteous bitch pretty much. Thinks that the rules are the rules and you follow them straight up. Starting to get on my nerves, his whole shpeel about I need to follow the rules or I'll wind up back in this dump, which I kinda do, you know, because at least in here everything seems normal, not like my life's trying to unfuck itself."

"Do you want it to?"

I shrugged, "Hard to tell, my life's been fucked up for so long, I don't know what a normal life feels like. Don't think I would know what to do. Besides, if I keep this up, I'm not going to be thrown in Juvie again, and I won't be able to see you as much."

Rex smiled, a real smile, like full-on, like he was a kid telling everyone on the playground that he was going to Disney World.

I used to see that smile a lot, with the whole Disney World thing. Never quite got there myself, but it's cool. Not like I wanted to go to the most magical place on earth or anything as a kid.

Now I just wanted to go to a beach.

I don't care which, as long as it's a beach.

I'd told Rex that once a few months ago, and he said how much he'd like to go too.

"What? You wanna tell me something?"

"Yeah, see the thing about that whole you won't be seeing me as much..."

"What? Rex, fucking tell me."

"Well, um, I might be getting out early, good behavior, and shit."

Oh my god, "Holy shit. You're getting out. When?"

He shrugged, his smile never wavering. It was a really nice smile, I'd only seen it a few times, but whenever I did see it, I loved it.

"Sometime this week."

"Holy shit, HOLY SHIT, you're getting out this fucking week? Wow, we're gonna be out at the same time oh my god this is great, Rex, this is- I'm rambling aren't I?"

Rex had started chuckling under his breath a little while I was talking, and now, all he could do was nod.

"Yeah, but I like when you ramble, it's uh, it's cute."

Wait, did he just-

The guard cleared his throat, "You guys got about five minutes left."

I nodded and turned back to Rex, who was looking straight at me.

"So I was thinking, what if we went to that restaurant in the city that you always talk about, Carmine's?"

I raised an eyebrow, Carmine's was the place I would talk about when the food in juvie just tasted like shit. I used to sneak in the back all the time and steal some of the food that they had just sitting out. Some of the best food ever. I never went inside though, they were pricy. 

Definitely not the place I thought Rex would even think about going. 

"Is that a way of asking me out?" My defense mechanism kicked in, trying to push him away.

Rex leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head, he looked pretty chill with the whole idea.

"Only if you want it to be."

I smirked, "Nice defense," I called him on his attempt at deflecting my deflection.

"You too," He called me on my weak attempt at deflecting.

"Thanks."

"So do you want it to be?"

"Don't have to put labels on hanging out."

"Nice."

"Why thank you."

It got silent for a second, while Rex just looked at me.

"What?"

"You look nice out of all the orange shit."

I smirked, "Yeah, orange isn't really my color."

The guard walked up to the table, "Okay guys, time's up."

We both stood up, and I offered him a fistbump.

He laughed a little, "Yeah, I ain't fist-bumping you like we're ten."

I got it, he didn't like physical contact. I know, I know, I'm leaving, I'm leaving.

I put my hands in my pockets again, "Welp, then I'll see y-"

He laughed, "Come here, Spy girl."

And his arms came around me like they had when we were saying goodbye two days ago. They held me tight, right up against him. I didn't know what to do for a second. 

"So this is what we're doing now?"

"Just shut up and hug me back, Carmen."

I did, wrapping my arms around his neck and stood on my toes so that I could rest my head on his shoulder. His head came down to rest right next to mine, his breath fanning my neck. 

After a second, he pulled away, and patted my shoulder like a guy would another guy after he just said something about his date the night before, "Welp, see ya, Spy girl."

"Uh, yeah, see ya, T-rex?" I said, more of a question than a statement. 

What the hell is happening?

He started to walk back and winked at me, "You better come back tomorrow."

"No promises."

We both knew I would. He turned his back and started walking towards the door, before turning right back around one last time, smiling at me. I returned the gesture before the door closed in his face, and I was left once again away from the one person that actually gave a shit about me. 

At least I thought he did.

The difference from last time was that there was this thing making me actually happy.

He was getting let out. 

Holy shit. 

We had almost never been out at the same time. And when we were, we never actually saw each other. He had a probation officer, I didn't. I was trying to figure out a way back into juvie as soon as possible, and without them figuring out that my parents were no longer taking care of me, he was trying to find a way to violate his probation.

I left the building in a daze, and I couldn't stop smiling. We were going into the city, and it wasn't for community service. 

And then I saw the grey Honda Odyssey waiting in the parking lot. 

Shit.

Ms. Sunshine was waiting outside the car, on her phone. She looked up and when she saw that I was standing there, with my school backpack, and all, she smiled.

"Carmen!"

I ignored her, kept walking in the direction that the woman who I hitchhiked with took me. 

"Carmen?"

I kept walking.

Then I heard high heels hitting the pavement, and felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Carmen, hello? Oh, are you deaf? You have a hearing aid I don't know about? I think I read your file in-depth enough, but I could have missed something. I know a little sign language, I-"

I couldn't help but smirk a little, "Chill, Ms. Sunshine, I ain't deaf, but I will be if you keep talking my ear off."

"Oh." And then her expression changed, "Why were you skipping school? I get a call from Jay telling me you were skipping, and that something seemed important, and then I have to go out and look for you. Was it Jonah?"

I huffed, this woman seemed to want to figure out what actually happened that got me locked up this last time, and I was determined not to relive the memory.

"Uh, first of all, Jay has you on speed dial?"

"His mother and I are really close."

"Like how close we talking?" I asked, considering that Allison didn't have a husband last time I checked her finger.

Hey, it's the 21st century, at this point, you don't just assume everyone's straight.

Eliza looked at the ground for a second before shifting her eyes back up at me, attempting a glare, but it didn't work out, instead, she opted for a strained smile, "Close enough."

"Yeah, but like how clo-"

"It doesn't matter, Carmen." She interrupted quickly, before calming down and trying again, "It's just, I come here, and I see you talking with that guy, Rex."

"Wait, you were watching me?"

"Only for a second."

I scoffed, "Yeah, that's like me saying I was only stealing for a second."

Wonder if that excuse actually would have held up in court...

Probably not.

"That's not the point, the point is why?"

I shrugged, "Visiting hours are during the day, I'd have to skip school if I ever wanted to see him, so I did."

"You don't strike me as the kind of girl who would put her life in jeopardy over a guy."

I backed up a little, "Ms. Sunshine, please do not psychoanalyze me."

She huffed, "I'm not psychoanalyzing you."

I raised an eyebrow.

She groaned, "Okay, maybe a little, but you gotta understand that I'm-"

"A therapist, a phycologist, not a PO?"

"For the last time, Carmen, I am not a therapist and not a phycologist." She said through gritted teeth, though that smile seemed to stay the same.

"Whatever Ms. Sunshine." I paced around myself before looking back at her, "So what now? Yay, you caught me, you just gonna drive me back to school?"

"No, we're getting lunch."

"Uh, no offense, but I think that's crossing the PO to probationee line, Ms. Sunshine."

She rolled her eyes, "Actually it isn't, besides when you go back to school they'll be finished with lunch, and well, wouldn't want you to go back to school on an empty stomach."

I laughed a little at how ridiculous she sounded.

"Ms. Sunshine, I ain't going-"

"I'll pay."

"Yup, okay, I'm getting in the car."

I jogged over to the other side of the car and sat in the passenger seat. Once we both got in, I looked at her, remembering to smile.

"Oh, Eliza?" I asked. She perked up smiling as well like she had made a breakthrough because I stopped calling her Ms. Sunshine. 

"Yes, Carmen?"

My smile dropped to a smirk, "Stop trying so hard, you're a PO, not in a heated custody battle trying to win the kid over to your side."

______________________________________

Carmen: Hey, Author?

Author: Yeah?

Carmen: What the hell is going on with me and Rex. Where's this going?

Rex: Yeah, I would like to know that too.

Jay: (Clears throat) Yup, so would I.

(Everyone looks at him)

Jay: What? I'm just curious like the rest of you.

Author: Right...Uh, yeah, sorry can't tell you that. But um, I will say, his character arch's gonna come a lot sooner than everyone else's.

Rex: Do I die?

Author: (Sighs) We've been over this Rex, you are not going to die in a blaze of glory, literally. I am not setting you on fire and letting you burn with Blaze of Glory going on in the background. Okay? It doesn't even make sense.

Rex: But what about you consider my other options, I-

Author: (Under breath) I'm literally about to strangle this bitch (Out loud) Rex you are not dying.

Carmen: Why do you want to die in the book anyway?

Rex: Because usually the death scenes are super epic and sad and I want people to cry during one of my scenes. Also, most characters who die become fan favorites.

Carmen: Name one fucking example.

Rex: Simon and Piggie from Lord of the Flies.

Carmen: Name a different example.

Rex: Leslie Burke, Bridge to Terabithia. (Author: Moment of silence for a children's book ending that my whole class was not prepared for.)

Carmen: Wait, she DIES!!!!

Rex: Shit I forgot you never finished that book.

Carmen: Yeah, and I would have appreciated that to stay unknown to me, asshole.

Author: Okay, we're gonna be done for the day. Hey, you two take it outside. (Carmen's trying to land a blow on Rex. Looks up and both of them nod before slowly walking to the door)

Okaaaaaaaaay...

Glad you're reading.