hanahaki qinter au💪💪 its whump/angst time baby😜

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Winter dropped the letter from Qibli to the floor, his knees giving out from below him. He collapsed to the floor, a shaky breath caught in his throat as he choked on a wailing-cry. Tears welled in his eyes, running rapidly down his scaly cheeks, the world turning blurry in front of him as his eyes filled with salty tears. He felt a prick of pain in his chest, a pain he was so used to feeling now that he had lost hope that Qibli loved him.

The letter from Qibli had stated that he and Moon were together, and Qibli knows how much Winter loved her. He was sorry, but Moon had chosen to be with him, even when Qibli had asked her about Winter. He then asked if Winter wanted to meet up and visit them.

It was true, Winter loved Moon. But he had loved her. His heart had moved on when he knew how much Moon loved Qibli more. 

But his heart hadn't given up on Qibli, much to Winter's dismay.

Shaking, Winter lifted his talons to read the letter again. A lone tear fell onto the paper with a soft thud. He got up shakily, set the letter on a nearby table, and stopped dead in front of a mirror. He stared at his reflection, taking in his shitty appearance, worn out gaze, and the unkempt, dull appearance of his usually shiny scales. Winter swallowed thickly, heaving a sigh. He had to get himself together. It started now. No more bullshit. 

He stared himself in the eyes sternly. He knew Qibli would never love him. He had to get over it. Get. Over. It.

He growled softly to himself, then winced as a familiar sharp pain pierced his lungs. He tried to ignore it, but he knew it wouldn't go away.

Winter shook his head, heading outside to the river next to his new home in Sanctuary. He dived in the frigid water, cupping his talons to make a bowl of water in his palms. He rubbed the water over his face. He had to wake up. Winter hauled himself out of the river, shaking his whole body free of the cold water. He looked up to the sky, sighing yet again, then flared his wings, taking off to the open sky above.

He soared. The wind rushed through his ears, across his wings, past each of his scales. He felt free, ever since he had locked himself up in his home after the pain in his chest started. He dove for the hot deserts of the Kingdom of Sand, the basking heat scorching him and forming sweat along his body. He flew higher up, away from the heat, into the wind. A few SandWings below looked up at him, but didn't really seem to care. The sunlight turned his pale scales into beautiful cobalt chips of ice that held a thousand shades of colour. Winter held his head high, his antlers sticking out from the icicle-like ruff around his neck. Finally, he neared the SandWing palace, and he dove down to the burning sand dunes below. His talons met shifting sand, making it hard to walk casually, but he got the hang of it as he came closer to the doors of the palace. Two SandWings stood guard, watching him as he fought the relentless heat. 

He blinked up at the guards and then dipped his head slightly. "Winter of the IceWings. I am here to visit Queen Thorn's advisor Qibli, as he requested to it."

The guards nodded and one stood over to the side, letting Winter enter. The other guard stepped up beside him, visibly getting a chill as she stood next to Winter's cold scales. "I will be traveling with you, Sir," she said. Winter nodded, letting her lead the way to Qibli's room, up on the third floor. The guard knocked her claw on the door, stepping back to wait for Qibli to answer. Suddenly, Winter's heart began to pound, truly aware of what he was doing.

Seeing Qibli and Moon together. Qibli belonging to someone else. Qibli not loving him. Qibli seeing you in this condition, where you are in terrible pain because you've got some dumbass disease that grows flowers in your lungs when the dragon you're in love with doesn't love you back. Qibli. Qibli. Qibli. Qibli, was all he could think of. He nearly gave hinself away to panic, when the door swung open. Winter's breath caught in his throat. The golden figure of the dragon he would do so much for. His dark eyes, his golden-tan scales, his freckles, his smile, his everything. Winter knew he would die for this ridiculous dragon. And he would be glad to.

The guard walked away with a nod farewell, and Winter thanked her. He stood facing Qibli, unable to breathe. Their eyes locked. He couldn't breathe. He was gorgeous. He was perfect.

"Hey, Winter. You alright?"

No. I'm currently head-over-heels lovestruck for you and I would do anything just for you to love me back and I need you with me and I need you to hold me and love me the way you do with Moon and I need to hear your voice and see your smile and let you kiss me and laugh with me and tell me you love me and--

"Yeah," Winter managed to croak out. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just hot here."

Qibli smiled, then said, "It's me, I know. I'm unbearably attractive and hot."

Winter felt a pit open in his stomach. Does he know? Winter thought. But he tried his best to remain calm and act like he didn't just have a moment of pure terror, and kept his composure, giving the SandWing a snort of amusement. "Sure, you are," he said, giving his best sarcastic tone, stepping inside Qibli's room. 

Inside, it was sunny and SandWing tapestries lined the walls and floors. Several cacti sat in pots along the room and up on his desk was a lamp, a stack of paper, and a quill. A bed sat in the corner with plush blankets and pillows. Moon lay contentedly on the blankets, reading a scroll. She raised her head at Winter's entrance, giving him a smile. "Hi, Winter," she said. 

"Hey, Moon," Winter said, trying to keep his voice light and casual. It wasn't like he had anything against Moon. He never would. He just.. had no idea how to feel about this situation.

Qibli grabbed a pillow from the floor and set it onto the bed, jumping up and laying down next to Moon. He invited Winter to join them and the IceWing sat next to Qibli, slightly tense. "So," Qibli began, taking a glimpse of what Moon was reading, then glanced back up at Winter. "How've you been?" 

Winter thought for a moment before answering. He needed to think of the good things he had been doing, which was not very much. Mostly moping and rotting in his house. "I've been alright. Just setting up my place with Riptide." Was that enough conversation? He didn't know. "Other than that, there's been nothing new," he said. "How have you and Moon been?" 

Doing great without me? Uncomfortably wondering what you two should do with me because you most likely hate me? 

He dismissed the negative thoughts almost immediately. There's no time to think about that, he scolded himself internally.

"Oh, we've been alright. Nothing new, either. Just visiting my kingdom and hers, going back and forth," Qibli said. Moon glanced up from her scroll. "We've been dragonetsitting Peacemaker back in the rainforest. Hope has her talons full," she laughed, smiling. Winter laughed softly, momentarily thinking of Hope, the NightWing previously known as Foeslayer. He wondered how she was doing. 

Beside him, Qibli had rested his head down on the blankets, laying terribly close to Winter. He felt his heart quicken its pace and he tensed slightly. Too close. Too close. 

"Oh!" Qibli exclaimed, jumping up. He jumped down from the bed to walk over to his desk, pulling out the drawer and grabbing something in his talons. He clasped it in his palm, excitement buzzing off of him like sparks in a flame. Qibli jumped up to the bed and sat next to Winter, holding out his talon to him, a cheerful expression lighting his face. "I bought this for you, Winter," he grinned. Winter blinked down at it, taken by surprise. It was a silver snowflake earring, intricately lined with golden accents and details that would be made by the finest jewelery makers. His cheeks slightly turned blue. "Oh," he breathed, without even realizing. "That's so pretty," he said. Qibli placed it in Winter's talons, their claws brushing for a moment that Winter internally screamed over. He held the wonderfully crafted earring in his palm, looking up to Qibli with a near-shy smile. "Thank you," he said, genuinely appreciative. Qibli grinned at him. "You're welcome."

They sat in content silence for a minute or so, Winter unconsciously fidgeting with the earring. Qibli reached his talon out to grab the jewelery, then reached up to Winter's ear, his claws brushing his scales as he clipped the earring on his the IceWing's ear. "There you go," Qibli murmured in Winter's ear. The whole moment made Winter feel comfortable and made his heart race, yet again. He wanted so badly to feel Qibli's soft, warm touch. 

As the night went on, the three joked around, and for the first time in a while, he felt happy. 

Until the nighttime. Asleep in the same bed, Qibli, Moon, and Winter lay close to each other, wrapped in blankets. Winter slept without a blanket, already finding the heat of Qibli's scales too warm. The IceWing suddenly awoke in the middle of the night, his chest hurting and his lungs fighting for air. He gulped in air, desperately trying not to panic and wake them. 

I need out, Winter thought dizzily, climbing off the bed and running to the door, closing it behind him. In the dimly-lit hallways of the SandWing palace, he fought for breath. He flexed his wings, gliding down to the first floor, unable to care about proper etiquitte. He rushed theough the back doors and into a pavillion, where he stopped, heavily breathing. The roots around his lungs were pressing harder, choking him. He coughed and spluttered, fighting for air, his limbs shaking. He felt his legs give out and fell to the ground. Winter coughed and coughed, choking on something that was starting to make its way up his throat. Eventually, he choked it out, and what fell from his mouth was simply a mound of flower petals. Trembling, he let out an agonized whine, sobbing, as he curled up into a ball, trying to ignore the rapidly growing pain, which he was unsuccessful at doing so. He attempted to get back up when the pain seemed to never go away, deciding to just go back to bed before either Moon or Qibli woke up and realized he wasn't there. He stumbled on his shaking limbs, heading carefully up the stairs. Up and up to Qibli's room, where he crossed the hallway and pushed open the door, climbing back into bed. To Winter's relief, they were both asleep. He curled up, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to get some sleep in spite of the pain.

Winter didn't sleep again that night. At least four hours he had slept before he had woken up, and after, he slept for a minute. Moon and Qibli were well rested and were eating breakfast when Winter got up from bed after his unsuccessful attempt to get more sleep. Not to mention, he was using Qibli's blanket and Qibli's pillow. Winter yawned, rubbing his eyes groggily. At least he wasn't in pain this morning. "Good morning," Moon chirped, handing Qibli a freshly-roasted lizard. "Morning," Winter replied. Qibli was halfway chewing his food when he called out, "Winter! I caught you some little foxes, since I'm not sure what you'd eat that's in the desert."

Winter blinked, heaving another yawn. "Oh. Thanks," he mumbled, sitting down with them to eat. He took the desert fox and tore a chunk of flesh off the body, chewing. He swallowed, took another bite, finished that piece and awkwardly cleared his throat. "Um. I think I should head home today," he said. "I've got some stuff to do at home." He ate another piece of his food. Qibli and Moon looked a little dissapointed, but understood anyway. "That's fine," Moon said. "You can leave whenever you want. We have nothing planned."

Winter nodded. "I'll leave after breakfast," he said. Qibli finished his couple of lizards, giving Winter sad pouty eyes. "We'll miss you!!" He said. Moon hummed in agreement. Winter just smiled and gave a small laugh. Winter tried not to think about how much he'd miss them too. Especially Qibli. "Yeah," said Winter, forcing himself to speak. "I'll miss you guys too."

"Woah!" Qibli exclaimed, making a comically shocked face, his jaw agape. "Winter likes us?" He gasped. Winter tried to ignore the pit in his stomach, opening wider and wider. Yeah I like you, he thought.  A little too much.

They continued on eating their breakfast and Winter said his goodbyes, heading off towards his home in Sanctuary. Soaring through the air, he banked towards the entrance of his home, opening the door to the inside. He promptly flopped down on the fur carpet below him, squeezing his eyes shut, tears escaping from his eyes before he realized he was crying. He didn't even know the full reason as to why he was crying. The main reason was Qibli, but in what context? He wasn't sure.

Two miserable weeks dragged on. Each day, he simply woke up, sometimes ate something, coughed up flowers, then went back to sleep. Whenever he got up to do anything, he felt dizzy and weak, like he was standing in the sun all day. But he wasn't, he was just struggling to live over some flower growing in his lungs. A new day, a new root spread across his insides. He knew he was too far gone now. He decided to sleep, since that was what he would be doing pretty soon.

Winter awoke to violent, searing pain in his lungs. They felt like they were being crushed Nothing new there. He stared glumly into the mirror that sat on the floor. Winter stared into his own eyes, wondering what he was doing with his life. He was starting so intently that he couldn't recognize his reflection. He closed his eyes with no motivation to do anything. Then a knock sounded at his door. The only sound he had heard in days, other than his own coughing. Winter froze at the sudden sound. His hollow gaze rested on the wooden door, his mind horribly blank on what to do. Then something kicked in, and he felt panic. Who was it? Why were they here? Should he pretend he wasn't home? What if it was important?

"Winter?" A muffled voice called out. "Winter, are you okay in there? It's been days and you never left your house."

He tried to place a face to the voice, but couldn't. He didn't answer for a moment, then meekly called out, "I'm fine." His voice was cracked and broken as he hadn't spoken in so long.

Silence answered him. Then, "I don't think you are okay."

"I'm fine," he repeated.

"Can I come in?"

Winter hesitated. "N..o?"

Quiet. Then the door opened slowly. Winter normally would have fled, but now, his mind was too foggy to follow his instincts. He simply lay on his bed, unmoving, scared and worried.

It was Riptide. The SeaWing closed the door behind him and turned to Winter with a very worried expression that only increased when he fully realized how terrible Winter looked.

"Oh my gosh," breathed Riptide. His eyes flickered to something on the floor. Winter didn't know what it was. He had been in his bed for so long that he didn't know what was in his home.

Riptide looked faintly sick, horrified, and worried. "You need a doctor," he said abruptly. "This- this isn't normal." He poked a claw towards the thing on the floor, and Winter leaned over to see what it was. It was a mound of blood and thorny stems, with little bits of his insides attached. Huh. I guess I coughed that up violently. He thought distantly.

Winter's sullen, hollow gaze met Riptide's horrified gaze. "I'll be okay," he said, then was immediately corrected by a coughing fit. Riptide backed up cautiously. The IceWing choked, his breath coming out in rapid, shallow gasps. His eyes widened as they watered. He clutched his neck with a talon, spluttering violently. Warmth flooded his throat. The taste of bile, blood, and the earthy tang of plants overwhelmed him. Blue bubbled at his lips. Dark clouds pressed st his vision. Riptide turned and ran out of the house, yelling something that sounded like he was calling for a doctor, but the world was too faraway for Winter to tell what the SeaWing had said.

His ears began to ring, so much that it was all he could hear, and his vision was completely foggy and dark. Winter blinked harshly, trying to clear the clouds, but they stubbornly remained. He got up from his bed, stumbling, too dizzy to walk properly. He felt himself swaying and reached for a wall to prop himself up. But instead, he fell, and his chin landed in a puddle of something sticky and warm. Something that smelled metallic. It coated his lower jaw, and more of it flooded from his mouth, along with bastardous petals. He pressed his talons to his ears, trying desperately to get rid of the ringing, which was horribly loud. A small amount of light from the world around him was visible through his clouded vision. Winter got up again, heart pounding, breath ragged, ears screaming. 

Tears painted lines down his cheeks as they rolled down his jaw, softly landing on the floor beneath him. He sat down shakily on the floor and leaned on the side of his bed. The ringing hadn't subsided, although he could see better. Heat flashes made him feel sweaty and overwhelmingly hot. He squeezed his eyes shut, begging for it to end already. And as though the world had answered his prayers, Winter felt the consicousness leave his body.

Later on that day, the doctor had arrived too late. The IceWing was gone.