Despite agreeing to resume their normal routine as best friends, neither Harry nor Hermione felt relieved at it. Both teenagers felt heartbroken at the prospect of them permanently being best friends with no chance of something more. Hermione had taken Harry's admission that he didn't know it was Valentine's Day and his willingness to let her go to the States as his admission that he didn't love her the way she wanted him to.
He was never good at directly expressing how he felt but he was a master, at least to her, at indirectly doing so whether through his actions or his choice of words. It was two days to Easter break and, while they had written to each other everyday like normal, Hermione was miserable at school and cried herself to sleep almost every night. Unbeknownst to her, Harry was in the exact same boat.
Ginny, Lavender, and Parvati tried to cheer her up as best they could but they didn't think Harry didn't love her. Rather, they thought that she and him got their wires crossed and were sending each other mixed messages. Hermione couldn't see how that was possible and she quickly shot them down, warning them not to talk about it anymore. She didn't need to hope that Harry loved her anymore, especially when it was dashed repeatedly.
Her parents had offered to fly with her to New York for a week-long holiday while she completed her interview and Hermione agreed easily. Spending time with her parents was sure to get her mind off Harry. She would only be gone a week and then be back in England for the rest of the spring and summer until fall when the program began. She wondered if Harry should be made aware of her plans for the week but quickly beat it back.
The bushy haired girl admitted to herself that she wouldn't be able to see Harry before taking off without wanting to stay with him forever. She knew that seeing him would render her powerless to follow through on her decision to sit for the interview. But, this was her best friend, she couldn't just leave without telling him about where she was going.
It wasn't often that Hermione was faced with a quandary she had no good solutions to and this was shaping up to be one of those times. The only solution that wouldn't hurt Harry any further was to tell him the truth about where she'd be going during her break. She would have to face her fears, tell him, and hopefully find the strength to leave him behind. A tiny part of her being wondered how much harder it would be when she eventually would have to leave for four years.
"Hermi, are you sure about this?" That was Ginny and she was asking the same question she had been for the past week leading up to the holiday.
"Yes, I'm sure, Ginevra," a testy Hermione replied.
The redhead put her hands up in surrender and hesitantly joined Hermione on her bed. The older girl acquiesced and moved aside. "Hermione, I really think you should just tell him," Ginny tried again.
"Ginevra, we've gone over this. I know how he feels about me," Hermione hurriedly batted away a few traitorous tears that dared to leave her eyes, "me telling him how I feel isn't going to change that."
"But you don't know for certain, all you know is that he's trying to be your best friend," Ginny shot back, annoyed.
"Have you ever thought that he's doing that because that's all he wants to be to me?"
"Have you looked from his perspective and realized that he's not bloody good at saying how he feels and that maybe, just maybe, he doesn't want to risk losing you?"
Hermione glared at the girl and said, "don't you swear at me, Ginevra Molly Weasley."
Regardless of the use of her full name and the cold glare Hermione was leveling towards her, Ginny remained defiant. "Why can't you just tell him once and for all that you love him?"
"Because there's nothing to gain," Hermione bit out through gritted teeth.
"You can't know that, all you have are your assumptions on how he feels," Ginny took Hermione's shoulders, "look, I know you know Harry better than anyone else but I sincerely think you've misread the whole thing."
Hermione looked affronted at the statement and Ginny hurried on. "Listen, all you've done is assume his feelings based on things he's done but you haven't actually said anything to him," she reasoned with the girl.
The witch hated to admit it, but Ginny raised a good point. However, she didn't want to admit it because doing so would make her hope again. Her hopes were dashed time and time again and she didn't think she'd be able to bear another instance of it.
"Don't you think there's a small room for error in that judgment?" Ginny continued to inquire.
There was, Hermione admitted to herself. But she couldn't try to correct that error, not when she knew her heart couldn't take being broken for a third successive time. The room for error was negligible and, thus, not worthy of correcting.
"Do you know why Harry and I didn't make it past a week?" Ginny rhetorically asked in continuance.
Hermione's eyebrows raised at that. She never heard Ginny or Harry talk about their relationship in detail as they only said it ended amicably and that they were too different as individuals. She always wondered why they never got back together but was secretly glad that it happened the way it did.
"In our sixth year, I could tell Harry was using me," Ginny smiled softly at Hermione when the girl looked affronted, "I was a pleasant distraction to him, a chance for him to be normal for once. Now, mind you, he didn't know he was doing it."
At that, the bushy haired girl calmed. She didn't believe Harry could be so callous and cold towards another enough to use them for his own sake. That wasn't who he was. Hermione tried to speak but Ginny kept going.
"If I hadn't called him on it, he never would have figured it out. You see? Harry was hurting inside because he wanted another while he was with me," the redhead confessed in a voice so faint it was almost inaudible.
Hermione knew where the girl was going with her story but tried to put an end to it only to be met with a finger planted on her lips. Defiantly, she attempted to speak again but the look on Ginny's face stopped her.
"Love, his heart has always belonged to you. In second year, he never left your bedside even after he rescued me," the younger girl took Hermione's hands in her own, "in third year, he beat himself up everyday for letting Ron lead him away from you. In fourth year, he spent nearly every waking moment with you and even privately admitted to me that he should have asked you to the ball."
The last revelation drew a faint exhale of breath from Hermione. While she never thought that Harry regretted not asking her to the ball, his awestruck look at her when she descended the stairs in her gown was proof enough. It was a memory she cherished more than anything. On that fateful night, she, Hermione Granger, was the most beautiful woman in the world to Harry Potter.
Ginny wasn't done, however. "Hermione, in fifth year, he followed your lead and started the D.A because you're the only one he trusted and could listen to. In sixth year, even when he was falling apart because you were pining for Ronald, he still spent time with you and comforted you as best he could." The normally feisty and determined girl shed a few tears as the memory of Harry confessing his feelings for Hermione and then telling her why he could never be with her started to play through her mind.
"All this time, he's shown you how much he loves you. He hasn't done it with words, no, he's done it through his actions," Ginny pulled her surrogate older sister into a hug, "you think you know everything about him and I'm not saying you shouldn't, but this one is the one you're wrong about. He's always loved you. Always."
Hermione, for once in her life, didn't know what to say to that. It was a lot for her to take in but the thought of trying to confess her feelings to Harry again was promptly shot down. She knew she shouldn't have, but the girl felt more than a sense of resentment towards him for feeling that way about her and never once saying it. It was irrational and not fair given what she knew of him but she couldn't help it.
"You can't just let him go," Ginny reasoned yet again.
"Ginny...I'll think about it."
That wasn't enough for the youngest Weasley. At the beginning of the whole debacle, she vowed not to interfere whatsoever and let things play their course. Now, she was seriously considering breaking that vow. She couldn't tell Harry how Hermione felt because that was something they needed to get past on their own. No, she just had to find a way to get them to see each other again. A letter to her mother was in order.