chapter thirty-two ~ the mind break


The world slowly came into view one object at a time.

First it was the bed Sophie was lying in.

Then it was the stark white walls surrounding her on all sides.

Then it was the tray across from her, supporting way too many potions and elixirs.

Then it was the dark-haired, round-spectacled elf nearby, bustling through the room, carrying a jar of what looked suspiciously like alicorn feces.

And then Sophie's gaze went to the blonde-haired boy in the bed next to her, skin blotched by bruises and scrapes. He had an unhealthy grey pallor and a sweaty sheen to his skin, and his hair was stuck to his forehead. His breaths were rushed and sounded desperate, and Sophie could barely remember his name...and then it came to her.

She sat straight up and screamed.

"You're awake! Thank god."

The dark-haired elf rushed back into the room, shoved two bottles of slightly pink water into her hands, and snapped his fingers, causing a golden orb to flash over Sophie's head.

Her head snapped up and in all her paranoia, she inched away from the light, wincing as a migraine formed.

"You're, Sophie. You're okay."

Sophie.

That was her name.

And the dark-haired elf...his name was Elwin.

And next to her was Keefe.

And Keefe...Keefe had sacrificed his own safety for something...helped her to finish something...helped to fix a problem that involved an incredibly evil woman...

Sophie didn't even need to think twice to remember Lady Gisela's name...and her cruel intentions.

"Elwin..." she gasped, not caring about how sore her throat was, how much her head hurt, and how much she wished she could just fall asleep again, "What...happened? Did...are Wynn and Luna alive? Is Lady Gisela alive? Are my friends alive? Is Tam alive? Is Alvar alive? Is Keefe alive?"

"Yes, yes, yes..." Elwin hesitated. "Who told you about Alvar?"

"So he is dead!" Sophie yelled. "And Lady Gisela killed him!"

Elwin gave a shaky laugh. "No, she didn't do it. I've been at this house for weeks, without going anywhere else and getting Kesler to run errands for me...and no-one came to this house since then."

"But...but she said she paid this house a visit!" Sophie said, her voice squeakier than she'd meant it to sound. "She must have done it! Keefe didn't kill him! He only hurt him!"

"And...I'm afraid that resulted in Alvar's untimely demise." Elwin shook his head sadly. "I remember when he was only in Level Seven, and I used to attend to his injuries he got doing Elementism...he was such a nice person...well, apart for the fact that he had at least three girlfriends and none of them knew he was dating the others...but apart from that, he was such a nice boy...ruined by his own brother and sister."

Sophie took several deep breaths in and out. After Elwin's first sentence, she'd almost tuned out everything else he said.

Keefe really had killed Alvar.

But how?

Alvar wasn't in such a bad condition that one last blow could take him out...right?

She shook her head, as if telling herself Elwin was wrong would solve the problem.

"I'm really sorry, Sophie," Elwin said gently. "I know you didn't want this to happen. But I've been monitoring him for weeks...and no-one's come to visit him or snuck inside his room – he's just been in pain and there was nothing I could do to reverse it. What Keefe did to him...well, I know Keefe didn't mean to lose control of his ability, but...it got out of hand."

It was true.

But the truth was terrifying.

Keefe was a murderer.

And if he woke up and realized what had happened...he might die from the guilt.

He was an Empath. And Empaths took guilt even harder than other elves.

So who knew what could happen to him?

"Anyway..." Elwin sighed, "All your friends are okay."

"Even Wynn and Luna? But Lady Gisela...she...she just tossed them over that cliff! And then Keefe just held my hand and Lady Gisela shouted a bunch of commands at us, but I could feel the power between us...but how can they be alive?"

"Long story short, you and Keefe somehow saved the baby alicorns...your connection was so strong that you both managed to get them back safely without damaging your minds too much."

Elwin glanced at Keefe worriedly. "But...to be honest, I'm not so sure about him."

Sophie followed Elwin's gaze, almost afraid to see Keefe in his terrible condition.

He stirred.

Elwin rushed over to him.

But Keefe just turned the other way, groaning a little.

Sophie's heart ached for him. She knew what it felt like to be betrayed, but never by her own mother...well, even Oralie hadn't hurt her this much.

So really, she couldn't relate to what he was going through, because none of the people she loved had ever been so against her.

"He looks...like he's alive, at the very least," Elwin said, and he was probably meaning to be encouraging, but his tone made Sophie's heart sink even further.

"Is he...is he ever going to fully recover from this?" Sophie croaked out.

Sophie didn't miss Elwin's three-second hesitation. "Of course he will. He's Keefe Sencen. This isn't going to change him."

"But...what about Alvar?"

Elwin reached over and took Sophie's hand. "I know Keefe will be able to push through his emotions. No matter how strong and unforgiving they are."

Sophie let her eyelids flutter shut, and she leaned on the pillows behind her head. All she wanted to do was sleep, but sleep would never come unless she made sure that everyone was definitely okay. "Where is everyone else?"

"In other rooms," Elwin said, letting go of her hand. "This may surprise you, but this house of mine has a lot more space in it than most people think it has. I'm pretty sure only Kesler and Juline have seen it all – but that's only because they've been helping me."

"So...what about Tam? And Maruca?"

"Tam is still recovering – all of your friends are – and Maruca's fast asleep. She's been out for about two days."

"Two days?" Sophie shrieked. "Why didn't you tell me that we were asleep for two days?"

A lot could happen in two days.

What fi Lady Gisela had attacked more people, or tried to hurt Sophie's parents...

"What about Grady and Edaline?"

"They're fine," Elwin said. "They've been visiting you quite a bit. But Edaline wanted to bring you some breakfast for when you woke up and I'm pretty sure she's cooking up a meal set for an army...and Grady had to leave to go on assignment for the Black Swan."

"Have my human family been attacked by Everblaze?" Sophie blurted. "Is Grady okay? Are my parents suffering? What even happened to Tam in the first place?"

"In answer to your first question..." Elwin started, rubbing his temples, "No. And Grady is fine, Edaline is fine, and Tam was most likely attacked by a powerful Shade or Flasher."

Sophie opened her eyes.

"Only a Shade or Flasher could have done what happened to Tam – his shadows were overcoming his body."

"Who would do that?" Sophie said, dragging her hands through her hair.

"Someone who had no choice but to obey Lady Gisela's orders," Elwin shivered.

The next few minutes passed at a sluggish pace. Elwin left Keefe's side to retrieve more potions and elixirs, leaving Sophie alone with her thoughts, but she didn't even notice the fact that Keefe's eyes were now wide open.

"So it's true then."

Sophie's body gave a jolt. "You're awake!"

"I killed Alvar."

"Keefe, I..." Even though Sophie was an Empath, she was terrible at reading people's true emotion – and was even worse at helping them to feel better.

"I know it's true. Don't try and convince me otherwise." Keefe's voice broke, and he angled his face away from her so Sophie couldn't see the tears glistening on his cheeks.

"Wait, Keefe –"

"I can't believe it!" Keefe cried. "I actually did it! And I didn't even mean to!"

"That's the point!" Sophie said. "You didn't mean –"

"I was right all along!" Keefe said. "I should have left ages ago! I'm a danger to you, Sophie!"

"No, you're not," Sophie said calmly, "You're one of the reasons I'm still alive, and sane."

"But I'm going to be the reason why the world will end."

"Stop saying this stuff, Keefe! You're a good person, with good intentions, on the good side. If you keep thinking like this, then you'll end up with a broken mind, and you'll be buried so deep in your own warped version of reality that it might take years for me to pull you out of it."

Keefe looked at her, his ice-blue eyes boring into her brown ones. "I deserve to suffer. I deserve to feel guilt. Because this is all. My. Fault."

Sophie reached out to take his hand, but Keefe jerked away.

"Don't try and help me," he said dejectedly.

Sophie's mind swirled with the beginnings of panic. How was she going to help Keefe back on track to confidence and happiness again? Would the old Keefe, the one she knew like the back of her hand, ever come back to her?

So without even realizing it, she plunged into Keefe's mind, diving through his consciousness, finding his thoughts.

It was as if a thunderstorm had taken over his mind.

Everything was tinted either black or grey, and the lonely thoughts at the back of his mind were clouded with angst – everything was blurred by his bitter, guilty, and heartbroken emotions.

As far as Sophie looked, she couldn't find a single positive emotion.

Stop.

Even Keefe's mental voice was slow and weak. I have to help you, Keefe.

Well, I don't need your help! So go away!

It was like a whole different person had spoken, and Sophie did a double take. Keefe, calm down.

Don't tell me to calm down! Keefe said. I deserve this.

You really don't.

I deserve this. I deserve this. I DESERVE THIS.

Keefe, stop –

Sophie, just, stop trying to help me, okay? It's not going to work. It never really has. I'm sorry.

What are you talking about?

Foster, I've always known I was an outcast, that I wasn't meant to be good – this is my legacy! The only reason I'm alive is because my mom is using me!

But you can't let her win!

Keefe's metal voice broke as he said, I don't have a choice.

Sophie was pretty sure her heart stopped. She had no idea what she could say now, to convince Keefe that he wasn't a failure, or a tool, or the lever that could change the direction the world went in. Because he wasn't. That was what his mom was doing.

His mom was the one who made everything worse.

And Sophie was more determined than ever to remind Keefe of it.

She sent as many whirling happy emotions as she could into Keefe's mind, feeling it flow through her own mind too. But Keefe just brushed it away – he didn't want to hear it.

I'm not worth it.

Yes you are!

Please, stop. I deserve this...I deserve to feel pain...you can't fix me, Foster.

You just have to let me help you! Sophie said, Otherwise you won't ever know anything else...

But Keefe didn't reply. And when Sophie dove even further into his complex mind...she realized he wasn't even conscious anymore – his thought and feelings had all shattered in millions of different directions and she couldn't piece them back together.

Terrified thoughts echoed in her mind, and they were probably spreading into Keefe's own – but it didn't matter. Because he was in too deep of an Exile-like hole to ever wake up the same as he was before.

Sophie couldn't change him now.

Now matter how many times she squeezed his cold, clammy hand, he wouldn't wake up...and he wouldn't feel, either.

He was gone.

***

"Why the heck did I ever leave them?"

"Do you think they're alive?"

"Jensi, if they're not alive, then I guess we'll just have to have our wedding with Tam and Biana instead of them..."

"But I wanted to –"

"Didn't you say you could revive them, Jensi?"

As Sophie's eyes slowly flickered open, three elves came into view. One was tall, tanned, and muscular with dark curls and a handsome face. One had freckles, strawberry-blonde hair, a slim figure, and was slightly shorter, and the last elf looked older than the other two, wore colorful round spectacles, and looked like he was about to tear his hair out.

Jensi. Dex. And Elwin.

The three people who Sophie was most glad to see at that moment – until she remembered what had just happened.

"Elwin!" Dex said to the distressed elf, "Sophie's awake!"

Jensi and Elwin both spun around, neither of them having noticed the fact that she'd awoken until now.

Elwin immediately rushed to her side, handing her ten elixirs at once, snapping his fingers to give her the most hasty examination Sophie had ever experienced.

"Slow down, Elwin," Jensi said with a laugh. "You're going to give her another headache."

"How did you know I had a headache?" Sophie's question came out as a long, drawn-out breath.

"Oh...Fitz woke up before and checked on you," Elwin said, bustling into another room and returning with more potions.

With every sip of the single bottle in Sophie's hand, her throat grew tighter and more constricted. "I don't understand...what happened...how long have I been out for?"

Her breaths grew steadily shakier as she turned to glance at the boy she'd expected to see sleeping beside her – but the empty space where Keefe should have been was like a knife to her heart, ripping any hope of seeing Keefe alive and well ever again.

"You've, um...well, to be frank, Keefe's mind broke."

And the world skid to a sudden halt.

"What are you talking about?" Sophie laughed. "Keefe's mind wouldn't have broken."

Dex's knees gave way and he sank to the floor, burying his head in his hands. "We'd both just woken up and then we heard you screaming from the other room. So we got up to see where we were and what was going on...Elwin was already there...and then you'd both sorta...passed out."

"But not in a sleepy kind of way," Jensi added, sitting down next to Dex.

Sophie's dismissive laugh slowly turned into hysterical giggles. "So...is Keefe alive? Or is he, like, dead?"

"Somewhere in the middle," Elwin answered. "And I don't think you should try and fix his mind."

"But I'm the only one who can do it!" Sophie argued. "Seriously, if anyone else tries to fix his mind...they might make it even worse!"

"Sophie," Dex interrupted. "You've already been affected by Lady Gisela's old commands. They wore off after a while, but the strength of them left some kind of lasting effect on you. We should wait a little longer. Keefe's not going to wake up anyway."

"What do you mean, he's not going to wake up?"

Elwin sighed and rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. "He's in a coma."

Sophie blinked.

Then she rubbed her own eyes.

But nothing changed.

This was reality.

And reality needed to be fixed.

So Sophie stood up, against Elwin's wishes, and ran into the next room, followed by loud protests.

But she ignored them.

And until she found the room where the injured blonde boy was lying lifeless in, she didn't stop. She rushed to Keefe's side – he was barely breathing – she grabbed his icy cold hand, and plunged into his mind again.

The storm had worsened.

In some places, it was like standing under a shower filled with icicles, and in other places it was just warm, empty and unpleasant, like the feeling you'd get if you stood in a muggy sewer tunnel.

It made Sophie feel sick.

But she still continued, because this was the most important thing – bringing Keefe back and making sure he was okay.

Scattered memories flew past, breaking as they went, but Sophie grasped them with the hands of her mental figure, sticking them back with the glue of her concentration.

Her desperation drove her forward, even when all she wanted to do was give up on Keefe's unconscious, insane mind.

She let all her emotions escape, letting their color and feeling fill up all the empty spaces in Keefe's mind, still bringing the broken pieces back in and transmitting as many encouraging thoughts into his head as she could.

His mind had only just broken – maybe she still had some hope.

She felt Jensi's hand in hers, enhancing all her abilities, and that just made her power stronger – she transferred as much as she could into Keefe's own body until his whole mind was filled with joy and power and strength and love and warmth and gratefulness and sanity.

He was okay.

Sophie had fixed him.

She pulled her eyelids open, still holding onto Keefe hand as she channeled her power into his body and mind, cheering as Keefe's own eyes snapped open and he looked straight at her.

Sophie let go of his and Jensi's hand, and wrapped her arms around him, sobbing as he returned the hug.

"Oh, Keefe," she cried into his tunic, "I'm so, so sorry."

WC: 2766 words

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