tw//suicide/suicidal thoughts/self harm

There was once a point in my life,
Where I thought I was fearless.
But now I've learnt there is one thing.
Myself.
Because nothing or no-one has hurt me
more than myself.

I'm not scared to talk to people,
Or be in crowds.
Not because I'm extroverted
But because I know,
No one can say anything to me,
Think about me,
Do anything to me,
That will hurt me
More than I've hurt myself.

I'm not scared about heights,
Murderers,
The ocean,
Snakes,
Falling,
Nothing that could kill me
Scares me
Because I'm constantly surrounded
By someone who's ready to end me.

And I'm not scared just for myself
But also what could I do to others.
If I let myself win,
How the people around me be affected?
They'll be so hurt
And devestated
Because of what I did
To them
To me.

There's a bridge near me,
That went over the freeway.
I used to walk across it nearly everyday,
But now I'm too scared to walk across it.
Not because I might slip.
But because I might make me slip.