AN: Hey! Go check out btrgirlies's new story "Jaws: The Frenzy". It's a parody of Jaws, One Direction, and other people and what happens when Jaws strikes. It's realy good so far! :)

Chapter 9

I internally groaned as I heard the whimpers and whines that where coming from somewhere in the darkness of the room.

I opened my eyes and sat up slowly, pushing my hair out of the way.  I looked around the unfamiliar room. It was still pretty dark. I could just make out the shapes.

I stretched my arm out in the darkness, trying to find a lamp or something.

The whining turned into soft cries and my search became more frantic.

I gave up and slowly climbed off the mattress. I wandered blindly around the room feeling the walls until I found the light switch.

I blinked at the sudden brightness and looked to where Devon was squirming and crying on the bed.

Well, it wasn’t really a bed. It was just a full sized mattress that was shoved into the back corner of the small room.  

There was a closet located on the opposite wall, in the front of the room, and a small dresser-like piece of furniture against the left wall. Other than that there were only two curtain covered windows on the back wall.  It was pretty empty.

I walked over to the mattress to go pick Devon up. He rested his head on my shoulder as he continued to whine.

“Oh, what’s wrong?” I asked him in a baby voice and began to rock him. “Shhhh.”

I really didn’t want him to wake anyone else up. Especially since we were in James’s apartment. The last thing I wanted was to have my brother barge in the room and yell for Devon’s crying.

I walked over to where my duffle bag, along with Devon’s car seat, was sitting on the floor next to the dresser. I shifted my grip on Devon to be able to open it up. I managed to pull out the things I needed to change him.

I walked back over to the bed and spread out a baby blanket on top of it before setting him down. There wasn’t really anywhere else to change him.

After I had put a fresh diaper on him he seemed to quiet down.

I put the wipes and things back into my bag and returned to where he was. I picked him up again.

“Is that better?” I asked holding him on my hip.

He just whimpered a little. At least there weren’t any more tears.

I grabbed the dirty diaper in my free hand and walked out of the room, somehow managing to open the door with my hands full.

I peeked into the hall way. It was a little brighter out here. I wandered over to the bathroom to throw the diaper away.

After, I set Devon on his feet so I could wash my hands in the sink. He just held on to my leg as he rubbed his eyes and grumbled.

I dried my hands off and picked him back up, holding him with both arms. I then walked back into the hallway. Pausing for a second to listening and see if anyone had been woken up.

There were soft snores coming from the living room and I was relieved.

It had been interesting when we tried to figure out what our sleeping arrangements would be. The boys had ended up all sleeping in the living room on the couches and an air mattress that James had laying around. My mom and I ended up with the bedrooms. I got the weird guest room/storage room. Mom had gotten James’s room. He had insisted that he slept on the couch so we could get the beds.

I walked back into the guest room and shut the door quietly. I set Devon down on the bed so I could fold up the baby blanket that I had changed him on and put it away.

I sleepily walked over to the mattress and sat on the edge. I looked towards Devon. He didn’t look too happy. He was in a fussy mood. It was probably due to the traveling and him being used to sleeping in his own crib.

He crawled over to me as he grumbled and sat on my lap.

“What?” I asked him softly as I smiled. “You look tired Bud.”

He just replied with a few baby noises.

“You probably want your own bed, huh?” I ran my fingers through his sandy hair.

He leaned against me and rubbed his eyes.

“We would have brought your playpen if it fit in a suitcase,” I wrapped an arm around him and kissed the top of his head.

He seemed to be tired and sleepy but he didn’t want to go to bed.

I scooted backward a little and leaned forward to put both of my arms around his little body. I rested my chin on top of his head and started humming.

About twenty minutes later he had finally fallen asleep. I could hear his soft breathing.

I sighed in relief, happy that I could go back to bed. Being a single parent was hard. There wasn’t anyone else to tend to your baby when he cried in the middle of the night. You were the one that had to get up every time and check on him. It was a lot harder when he was a newborn. They always cried the most. Now that Devon was getting a little older, his sleeping patterns were improving. He didn’t wake up that often in the middle of the night anymore and he was sleeping until a decent time on most days.

I laid Devon back on the mattress on the side that was pushed against the wall. He couldn’t roll out that way. I made sure there weren’t any pillows or large blankets that had wandered over there in the middle of the night. We didn’t need him getting tangled up in those. Then I grabbed his baby blankets and covered his body with them.

I watched him for a second as he slept and smiled.  He had changed my life for the better and I was so thankful to have him. Plus, he was adorable.

I stood up and went to go shut the light off. I wandered through the dark room and found the bed again. I curled up and hoped to get a few more hours of sleep.

…

“Could you try to find flour or something?” My mother asked softly as she frantically searched the kitchen cupboards.

“Mom, I really doubt there’s flour,” I opened the nearest cupboard and started looking through its contents. “James doesn’t seem like he’d be much of a baker.”

It was around 9:00 am. Devon had woken me up about an hour ago because he was awake and talking to himself. Mom had woken up a little later and decided that we should start making breakfast. There had been some movement in the living room but that was about it. From the looks of it, the boys were most likely still asleep.

“Oh!” Mom pulled a box out of the new cabinet she was searching through. “I found pancake mix!”

She took the box over to the counter to start mixing things into a bowl.

I walked over to the fridge and pulled the door open. I grabbed a bottle of juice.

“There’s so many eggs in here!” I laughed at the sight. There were three egg cartons sitting on the middle shelf.

“Well he does work out a lot, right? Isn’t that what active people eat?” She asked as she mixed the pancake mix in the bowl.

I pulled one carton out and closed the fridge. I set the items on the counter and went off to search for a frying pan.

I opened then nearest cupboard and peered inside.

That’s when I realized it was a little too quiet.

I quickly spun around. Devon wasn’t in the kitchen anymore. Where had he gone in the past minute? He was just here!

I left the kitchen to begin wandering the apartment. Before I got to the start of the hallway, I glanced quickly at the living room only to find Devon standing in front of the narrow couch that James was sleeping on.

My eyes instantly widened as fear crept into my body.

James’s arm was dangling off the side of the couch. Devon gripped his large hand tightly and started smacking it against the couch as he giggled. This had caused a muffled noise to come from beneath the mass of blankets on top of it and it began to move.

James was moving. He was waking up.

I practically started running toward the scene in order to stop what was happening.

His face appeared out of the blankets and he slowly opened his eyes.

“Wha…”James’s voice was raspy with sleep as he squinted to try and make out what was going on.

I froze. I had only taken about three steps into the living room. My heart began racing. I was unsure of what to do. James wouldn’t hurt him, right? He wasn’t that terrible of a person.

He seemed confused at first, like he couldn’t make out exactly what he was seeing. Then his eyes widened giving off an unfriendly vibe.

“What the hell!” He sat up in a flash, causing his hand to be ripped from Devon’s grasp. He stared down at him with shock, surprise, and irritation.

Devon unexpectedly stumbled at the sudden action and fell over, landing on his butt. He sat there for a second before he began crying.

James looked around before his gaze landed on me.

“What the hell, Maddie!” He was yelling a little louder than before. His eyebrows were pulled together in frustration as he stared at me with an are-you-kidding-me expression.

“Excuse me?” I scoffed, mirroring his expression. He was going to blame this on me? I hadn’t even made it all the way into the room!

“Can’t you control him?!” He yanked the blankets off of himself and quickly got up.

“He’s a baby!” I said in disbelief, cautiously watching James approach me with wide eyes. “Babies wander wherever they want! They’re constantly getting into trouble!” 

James stood in front of me wearing boxers and a white t shirt.  His gaze was hard. His lips were pressed into a line.

“Keep him away from me.”

I was a little taken back. I was not expecting that.

 “Are you serious?!” I looked up at him in pure disgust and annoyance. I was vaguely aware of Devon’s cries.

He just continued to glare down at me.

I laughed unable to believe this was happening. “I'm so sick of how your acting towards me!” I attempted to push him away from me, placing my hands against his chest and using all my might. It had only caused him to take a step or two backwards.

I heard my mom drop something in the kitchen.

“Madelynn!” Mom sounded appalled at my choice of words.

I just ignored her. All the anger that had been building up the past few days, the tantrum I had suppressed, every emotion I had kept bottled up, was now escaping.

“Don't you dare blame Devon for this!” I felt the emotions flooding out of me. I shot daggers at my brother as he stood with his jaw clamped shut, listening to my words. His hard gaze had no effect on me. “You can blame Ashton all you want. You can yeall and punch things and be all upset for not protecting me.” I paused to take a much needed breathe. “But the truth is,” I continued in a less harsh tone. “This is as much my fault as it is Ashton’s!”

I broke the intense stare down, suddenly remembering that there were other people in the room. I looked around. My mom looked sick at the sight of the argument. Drew and Alex were now wide awake due to all of the yelling and Devon’s cries. They sat in separate piles of blankets looking a little scared.

I didn’t blame any of them for reacting like that. I didn’t think that anyone of them had ever seen me in such a rage before.

James had yet to respond to my rant.

I looked back at him in front of me and smirked. He didn’t seem to know how to reply to that. Had I finally won an argument?

Devon whimpered again and my eyes were instantly on him, my expression becoming concerned. I watched as Drew climbed off of his couch and picked him up. He began to head towards the hallway. He was going to go try to calm him down by getting him away from the noise.

“Drew,” My younger brother froze in his tracks as James called his name. “Did you do anything about this?!”  

Drew slowly turned around. He looked nervous, obviously not wanting to get involved in the conversation. “Uh…about what?” He stole a quick glance at the baby he was holding.

“When I was cluelessly living out here and everyone was dealing with baby drama at home?”

“James stop it!” I was not going to allow him to put any blame on Drew. “Don’t drag him into this!”

 “Did you think that what Ashton did was okay?!” James sassed Drew, ignoring me.

“No!” Drew answered without any hesitation, eyeing James like he was insane. “Of course not!”

“Well,” James paused. “Did you… do anything about it?”

“He’s sixteen!” Mom cried in disbelief, finally finding her voice. “He was only fourteen when it happened!”

I looked in her direction. Her eyes were wide and she was still gripping the spoon she had been using to cook.

“I don’t really care! He could’ve done something!” James clenched his fists as he stared at Drew.

If he attacked Drew, I was going to freak out. How could anyone expect a 14 year old to start a fight? Also, Drew was holding Devon. I did not need them sandwiching my baby.

“Ashton is two years older than him!” I was still fuming. “No one was going to attack him!”

“Someone should’ve!” He was now watching me. “I don-”

“My God!” For some reason I thought it was a good reason to smack his arm as I spoke. That only caused him to glare even more intensely. I ignored it. “It's not like he raped me! It was voluntary! Stop blaming everyone else! It's my fault!”

James’s eyes seemed to sadden a little, like he didn’t want to believe that I was guilty of the act. He didn’t want to see me take the blame. He had probably expected me to fight Ashton off. That wasn’t the case. I had agreed.

“He took me to a party,” I sighed, gazing into my brother’s hazel eyes. “There was alcohol. There was peer pressure. I didn’t want everyone to think I was lame so… I just…went with it. I was hanging with the cool kids. I wanted to fit in with his friends. It was the first time I had drank so much! Then…things happened. I let them happen, I agreed to them.”

He didn’t seem to be able to react to the truth I had told him. It was kind of sad to see his reaction. It was evident he was disappointed.  I was disappointed in myself because of it!

“No, Maddie…” He finally spoke in a softer tone, drawing out my name. His eyes were pleading. “Please tell me you’re kidding!”

I bit my lip as I felt the tears coming back. I thought I was done crying. I thought I was going to stick up to him and give him a piece of my mind. It turns out I was wrong.

“No,” I shook my head and tried to blink the tears away before they could fall. “No, it’s true.”

He turned away from me. His hands were resting on the top of his head as he paced a little.

He was disappointed in me. I could tell. Who wasn’t? I had let everyone down with my terrible decisions that night.

He finally turned to face me again, looking almost crushed. “How could you be so stupid? So irresponsible?”

“I’m still upset at myself! I still regret my decisions!” I bit my lip and met his discouraged eyes.

He broke the gaze and turned around again, walking towards the window to the side of the TV.

“But having Devon,” I smiled a little. Maybe I could make him see the good. “That made me realize that it was okay for me to accept my choices that night. No matter how much I hate what I did, he is the reason I can move on from them. He made me hope again. He helped me find ambitions and kept me going every day. After all that darkness in my life, he brought in some light.”

James didn’t move. He just stood there in front of the window. Maybe he was soaking in what I had just said. Maybe he was trying to understand…

All my anger had been used up. All that was left was the sadness. I was surprised that there was any left.

I stood there for another minute watching him. James hadn’t moved a muscle. He just continued to stare out the window.

I felt that I couldn’t do anything else, like I had said everything that needed to be said. Hopefully he had listened.

Unsure of what else to do, I turned and left. I walked through the kitchen, passed my clearly upset mother, and out the apartment door. It closed behind me.

I looked in either direction down the hallway. It was empty. I took a few steps to the right and sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. I tucked my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I set my chin on my knees and stared at the wall on the opposite side of the hallway.

I let a few tears fall silently. I just wanted this to be done with. It was like he was never going to be happy with anything I said. I had explained everything to him, hadn’t I? I already apologized. What more did he want from me? What more could I do?

A while later, I heard the door open. I looked up hopefully, lifting my head off of my knees.

James walked through the doorway. Had he come to forgive me? Had he thought about what I said and decided how to respond?

He was no longer in his pajamas. He was dressed in gym shorts and a t shirt. His gym bag was slung over his shoulder.

Our eyes locked for a split second before he turned left down the hall and eventually disappeared.

He was just leaving to go work out. He didn’t have anything to say to me.

I went back to sulking. Whatever hope had been stirred up inside me when he had come through the doorway was gone. He still wanted nothing to do with me.

I buried my face in the space between my chest and my knees and let the tears come. I sat in the empty hallway, feeling abandoned, and cried. When would I be done being miserable?