——

Chills ran up her spine when her feet moved closer to the home of the Chateau. A month had passed since she entered here, but to her, it felt like years.

Emelina stepped onto the porch, aiming to twist the doorknob when a lockbox hung on it, leaving it locked until opened. She sighed, a thought coming to her head to find her mother's login information to release the code for the key. She decided against it.

She ran her fingers through her hair, the wind rushing in between each strand. Clambering down the steps, the window on the side of the house was wide open, and underneath it was a rock as a substitute for a stepping-stool.

"Might as well break another law," Emelina whispered to herself as she stepped into the abandoned home. She jumped right in with a soft thud, and straightened her body up, and viewed the living room.

It looked the same as it did before, and it seemed like nobody bothered to take out the furniture. She preferred it that way, almost feeling like John B never vanished at all.

The sunlight glinted on a picture frame and Emelina immediately picked it up to observe. John B and Big John stand there with big smiles as if they were the happiest beings on earth. Her lips curved upwards at the sight and wished they both could come back. She never personally met Big John, but she saw him a few times as the years went by. At the time, she had no idea how much his son would have impacted her.

Her head perked up when hushed voices were heard coming from the bedroom. Slowly placing the picture frame back on the side table, she crept closer to the door and swung it right open.

A girl laid on the bed, with a shirtless JJ on top, giving her sweet kisses on her face and possible whispered words to ease the tension. Emelina felt her body freeze up, her finger barely clinging onto the doorknob that let her see this.

She hadn't recognized the girl but concluded she was picked up at a local party that seemed to be thrown daily. JJ whipped his head around to witness the intruder, and his eyes go wide, feeling as if he was caught doing something he shouldn't.

Emelina didn't say anything and instead, she spun back around, closing the door after her, and sprinted out of the house as fast as she could. This time, however, she unlocked the front door to avoid jumping out the window.

"Emelina—wait!" JJ called after her, but she ignored and ran straight out down the stairs and back on the patchy ground. "Hey, c'mon, stop." His hand touched her shoulder, and she wished she got out faster to loosen the action of him catching up to her.

"No. You shouldn't keep that girl waiting, right?" Emelina turned around to find him slipping his shirt on.

JJ furrowed his eyebrows, "You're mad?" He seemed to be angry as if she had no right to feel those emotions.

He saw how bothered she felt, how it hurt her to see him with another girl, and that felt almost achievable to him.

An eye for an eye.

She could finally feel how he felt.

"No!" Emelina said quickly and let out a sigh, "You can sleep with many girls as you want. I didn't mean to walk in on you," she said and opened her car door, but it was soon close shut by his hand. His arm remained there, just over her shoulder when she turned to face him. "I'm trying to leave, JJ."

"Not until you tell me what you're doing here."

It was him who made her come here, but she didn't know he would be accompanied by another girl. Hating to admit it, but jealousy did surge through her. She knew very well she shouldn't feel this way, not after hearing what JJ confessed to her, and moments later she locked lips with her boyfriend.

"I miss it here," she replied.

He didn't believe her. "Tell me the truth."

Her gaze met with his and she swallowed thickly, unable to answer his question. "I..." Emelina's words fade into nothing as she thought of a response but the truth was the only explanation, "I came for you. Is that what you want to hear?"

He let his grip on the car door go, "What? Is Topper boring to you now? You're gonna move onto the next guy who gave you attention?"

"What are you talking about?" Emelina asked, shock hidden in her voice. He proceeded to let out an airy chuckle, "You know exactly what I'm talking about,"

"I came to bring the Pogues back together," she started but wasn't able to finish her sentence when JJ interrupted her. "I told you I'm not doin' that anymore."

"Why not, JJ? The Pogue life—it shouldn't end. You need your family." Emelina said, almost having to turn the route to beg.

"My family?" JJ repeated her words, letting a scoff escape his lips, "I don't have a family. Not without John B, at least."

Those words of his rendered her speechless. Even if she hadn't been there long, she would expect Kiara and Pope to be his family. Had John B's loss overturned the meaning behind that word?

"Do I have to remind you? That night you bought the hot tub, you said you got it for your family. You don't have to be alone anymore, JJ. There are people who care about you."

"What? And that includes you?" JJ scoffed again, completely ignoring her first statement.

Emelina nodded, "Yes. Of course that includes me."

He turned his head to the side to consider his next words. "Did you care about me when you got back with Topper? Did you care about any of us? It's in your Kook blood, Emelina. You betray."

She wanted to cry out in frustration. They were back to their roots; Kook and Pogue slander. "Oh, my God, JJ! I just want the Pogues together! We're all miserable without each other. Even I can admit that."

"I already told you it ended. I don't want any part of it."

"Yes, you do," she claimed, remembering their last encounter. "You told me a week ago that you have feelings for me. Tell me that's still true."

"It's not." JJ shook his head, "See, I've managed to move on. You should too."

"Feelings don't just go away."

"Oh, is that directed at you and Topper? Is that why you got back together with him?" he repeated once more, wanting to get an answer out of her.

"Me getting back with Topper is none of your business," Emelina answered. She knew this topic would come up eventually, but to discuss it with him felt like torture.

JJ raised an eyebrow, "It's not? You want the Pogues back—but can't you remember the rules? We don't keep anythin' from each other."

"Yeah, well, it seems to be my specialty, right?" Emelina replied, rolling her own eyes. He didn't respond. "JJ, I'm tired of playing this game with you—"

"This game?"

"Yes, this game. One day you tell me one thing and the next you act like you never said it. It's like—like I'm trying to guess what you really mean."

"Then stop coming back!" JJ raised his voice, causing her to shrink. "You're always in my head and how am I supposed to convince myself that I..." He couldn't finish his sentence.

Emelina wanted him to hear those words one more time; that he still feels for her. "I did leave you alone. For a month. Did it ever occur to you that I'm trying to get you out of my head too?"

JJ had to remind himself that he was trying his best to move on, now that she was no longer for the taking. He took a breath, "Then why see me at all?"

There was a silence among them as their eyes bore into one another. She finally answered, "I'm doing this for John B."

"What?"

"The day he left on the boat, he wanted me to keep the group together and I can't do that if you walk away. You can hate me all you want but please, do this for John B. I can't let him down."

He didn't say anything at first, so she spoke again, "I don't want to lose you, JJ. There's not a single day I woke up not thinking about you."

It was quiet for a good minute as he took in her words and she noticed his eyes softening a bit. "Fine," he said at last, "but only for John B."

"Good," Her voice came out shaky, "That's all I've wanted since we separated."

Emelina gave one last final nod before turning around to open her car door until he stopped her. "I'm so used to everyone leaving me that I thought this would be easier."

Hearing that made her froze for a bit and when she spun back to face him, her voice sounded small, "But did you have to leave me?"

JJ opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Emelina shook her head softly, "It doesn't matter anymore. I just want to fix this mistake I made."

"Mistake? You didn't make any mistake."

"I did when I gave up on all of you. That was my mistake and this time I'm not giving up. Whether you like it or not."

Emelina noticed a smile trying to break through his lips. This time she turned to leave with the feeling of satisfactory.

§

"My mom will kill me if she finds out I ditched my shift for this." Kiara said beside Emelina as the pair walk down an unfamiliar dock.

Emelina turned to look at her, "I promise you it will be worth it."

When the two finally reach their destination, Emelina opened her arms wide to showcase the HMS Pogue sitting peacefully at its spot. "Ta-da!"

"Wow," Kiara nodded her head, very unamused, "John B's boat! I've never seen it before in my life. I'm so touched."

On cue, Pope walked down the hill with a fishing pole and a tackle box whereas JJ appeared on the opposite side with hands in his pocket.

Kiara grinned, "Oh. This was your surprise. You told me we were having a girl's day."

"We are! Just with two boys..." Emelina pointed to them. JJ stood near the girls, shifting awkwardly at his feet. Pope set down his items, "I was informed we were having a fishing day."

"We can still fish!" Emelina confirmed and placed his pole and box in the boat for safety measures.

JJ looked up at her to join in on the group's conversation, "You said a party was here."

It was good to see him at all of his glory. It had been a day since she spoken to him and she wanted to waste no time bringing everyone back.

She pulled out two cases of beer from her bag. "It is here. I stole this from my basement. Apparently, we have a lot of leftovers from parties my mom throws."

"C'mon," She was the first to enter the boat and soon the rest followed.

JJ took control of the captain's seat, stirring the boat around like he drove it yesterday. Pope and Kiara make small talk and Emelina occasionally chimed in, but JJ remained silent and looked out to the water. She noticed his quiet mannerism and moved closer to him.

"P4L?" she asked, looking at the stick-n-poke tattoo on his leg. JJ nodded and forced a tight smile on his lips, "Pogues for life."

Kiara overheard this and raised her beer bottle in the air, "Pogues for life!" she cheered, a smile embedded on her face. Emelina and Pope also cheered and clicked their bottles together except for JJ.

The group fell silent as one person registered in all their minds. The only sound was the boat engine roaring and the small waves crashing together but it didn't hide the familiar ache in their heart.

"John B would've kicked our asses for being apart for so long." Kiara laughed, a few tears slipping from her eyes. 

The other laughed as well, trying to soak up the positive energy even if it was just a little bit. While tears formed in the corner of JJ's eyes, he turned the boat around and spoke, "I got an idea."

The four of them reach John B's old property in silence. None of them communicated what they planned on doing because deep inside, they knew.

Pope took an axe and began to carve out a heart at the base of the big main tree. JJ torched a metal tool and imprinted John B's name and birth date on the heart along with the three special characters; P4L.

"To John B," JJ raised his flask in the air. Kiara weakly spoke as she looked from up her small box of items that belonged to their friends, "And to Sarah."

JJ took a sip of his flask and Pope took a sip of his beer that Emelina brought over. Without saying anything, JJ handed the flask to the girl next to him. Emelina accepted it and took a sip, feeling the tears coat her eyes.

Kiara placed the wooden box beneath the tree after digging out some dirt. The following three kneel down near her and place a flower on top before covering it with the remaining dirt.

Later in the evening, Pope and Kiara occupy the hammock whereas Emelina and JJ sit on the big long branch of the special tree.

"You know what this calls for?" Emelina asked, taking another sip from the flask she stole from the blonde. Kiara turned her head to look at her friend, "What?"

"Rager."

"Rager?" Pope asked while raising an eyebrow.

Emelina nodded and jumped off the branch, "Yes! To celebrate the Pogues coming back together."

JJ took a second to ponder before shrugging. "A rager does sound nice."

Kiara leaned her head back into the hammock and smiled peacefully, "A rager it is."

——

a/n: it hasn't even been 24 hours since i posted the last chapter sorry im too impatient !! also prepare for a lot more angst