//How can I let her find me
when I am running from myself//

Would it hurt to be, for once, on the receiving end of love, after all these years being on giving end? I thought to myself, immediately pushing the thought aside. The thought even seems so foreign as I was so used to give. But, with her, I wanted to try even for a second at least.

she seeps to all these places I tucked under the blanket, of need, a blanket of desperation, from years. And makes me want all the things I shouldn't or I couldn't think of. She crawls through the walls of beliefs that I build. A home I made out of the walls of the beliefs. Beliefs like "love is all pain," "pleasure always comes only after pain" or "pleasure is nothing but pain." Nothing physical though, if you know what I mean. She makes herself home, but intends on destroying the home, foundation deep. She shattered all those walls, leaving me in disbelief. Trying to state a fact that to love is all about experience enjoy every way possible but with that person.

I almost believed until those walls grew again, caging her inside, or so I felt. The demons inside will either chase her away or trap her for a lifetime. I was afraid she will have to experience the darkness she was unaware of and had to have supper with guests, demons or should I say, hosts?! Here I am running from my demons and she is willing to dine with them and I love her too much to taint the light, her, with my darkness.

©spicysugartales

---------_-----------_------------_------------_---------

Hello people, how are you?
How do you like this?
Let me know maybe ❤