25 weeks

"Will you promise me something?" I ask

His eyebrows furrow as he looks at me but nods.

"Promise you'll stay."

"You're scaring me Jessie." He says, using my whole name instead of opting for the shortened version he typically prefers. I frown, already hesitant to share.

"Please Cal...just say it." My voice is shaky and I feel nauseous.

"Whatever it is Jes, we'll figure it out. Just tell me."

I nod, fidgeting with my fingers as I try to find a way to make this sound better.

"Before you, I only had one real boyfriend. I mean I 'dated' boys in high school but nothing serious." I say, deciding the best way to tell this story is to tell the whole thing.

He nods encouraging me to continue. His body is turned towards me his elbows resting on his knees his head in his hands with his gaze fixed on me.

"His name was Mark. We met our sophomore year of college. I was majoring in fashion business and he simply in business so we had several classes that overlapped and that's how we got to know one another. At first he was great, amazing really. He took me on dates, he held doors for me, literally all of my friends were jealous that I'd found this modern day Prince Charming. By the time graduation came around I was convinced I'd found the man I was going to marry..."

Cal's face is hard to read, emotionless.

"So when he proposed soon after our senior year ended, I said yes." I close my eyes as I say it expecting some kind of heated reaction, something 'Mark-like' but Calum stays calm.

"And then?" He offers his voice flat.

"And then everything went to shit." I breathe feeling the burden of this secret start to lift from me. "It was like being engaged flipped a switch on him and he felt he had me so he could just treat me any way he chose to. So he chose to be horrible. It started with small differences, he didn't hold my door anymore he stopped taking me on dates, he became critical of my appearance and his words became consistently hurtful. Then it progressed to him becoming demanding of my time, controlling who I was allowed to hang out with and exiling me from my friends until I no longer had any, except Lenny of course bless her soul she never deserted me. As the wedding date approached we began to argue more and more something that was rare before our engagement and finally about two months before what was supposed to be our wedding date he hit me."

Calum tenses beside me but still says nothing. I bite my lip as I stare in his eyes searching them for some kind of answer to what he's thinking.

"I wanted to believe it wouldn't happen again, that he'd just got caught up in the moment and we were angry but it continued...and I let it."

Cal reaches across me and swipes a tear I hadn't known was there from my face, resting his hand on top of mine.

"We were living together and about the time the abuse started he also started talking to other girls. He'd tell me I was lucky to have him and I should appreciate him more. He wasn't happy with our sex life and he made that known. He told me he could have anyone he wanted and that if I wasn't going to give him what he deserved he would find someone who would. About a week later I came home to find him having sex with another girl in our bed."

Cal squeezes my hand and I try to avoid his eyes. I'm so embarrassed but I know I need to finish this, get everything off my chest.

"Did you leave him after that?" Cal asks, his voice sounds pained. I just nod.

"I don't know what took me so long. I guess I just loved the man I had gotten engaged to, and I wanted to believe that person was still inside of him. I wanted to be the one to bring that man back. It's stupid really."

"It's not stupid Jes."

I swallow the lump in my throat as I fight off more tears. This isn't my favorite topic.

"The saddest part, is that after I left and called off the wedding I mourned the relationship. Not the one it had become but the one we'd had before, and I blamed myself. It was a really dark time in my life, I felt just blindsided and completely alone. Lena did her best to help me but I needed to help myself."

"What changed? When did things start to get better?"

"When I met you." Our eyes connect as he soaks in my words.

He's quiet still in his typical Cal way. He's thinking and trying to make his words perfect. It's another thing I love about him, he always speaks carefully, rarely letting things just fly out with no thought. It's something I need after my past relationship that was full of hurled thoughtless insults.

"Why....why didn't you tell me before?"

"It's kind of a lot. Between the baby, my mom, my anxiety, and this. I— it's just a lot of baggage, I didn't want you to see me as this fucked up, damaged person. I don't want you to feel like you have to fix me."

"That's not how I think of you" He says quickly. "Even now" he adds.

He pulls me close letting me fall against him my face in the crook of his neck. His scent, sweet but masculine is intoxicating and so comforting. He rubs my back and kisses the top of my head before holding me at arms length and using his finger to lift my chin, forcing me too look at him.

"You are not broken. I can't fix you because you don't need fixing. You survived a storm you shouldn't have had to face, from someone who didn't deserve to be loved by you. Thank you for sharing this with me, I know it couldn't have been easy for you but I'm really glad you trust me enough to tell me."

"So this doesn't make you think less of me?"

"What? Jes—No!"

Relief floods my veins.

"Jes" he runs his hand over the top of his head and stares at the wall behind me before returning to meet my eyes.

"Jes, I love you. I'm in love with you. This doesn't change that. It maybe helps me understand you a little better, but it certainly doesn't make my feelings for you any different. I can give you the love you deserve, if you let me."

How does he always have the perfect words? How did I get so lucky? How can someone like me be loved by someone like him? He said he loved me.

"I love you, Calum. I'm in love with you." I say through tears of relief.

His hand slips around my neck gently pulling me towards him until our lips are pressed together. Our kiss is soft and sweet. When we finally pull away Cal rests his forehead to mine and I'm unable to hold back my words.

"I love you, Calum" I want him to know my confession of love wasn't just a response to his, it's just the truth.

"I love you too, Jes."

He smiles before leaning down and pressing his lips to my ever-growing belly. "I love you too, little one. Don't feel left out."

AN: I swear this book is making me soft.

They're so damn cute it's nauseating but I can't even help it.

Was the fiancée thing what you expected? Wonder what ever became of Mark? Hmmm.

Leave ya thoughts! Vote & comment!

Ily
-Sav 🖤