Song: start of something new
The next tutoring session is the same- minus the phone calls. Ace looks good, something I'm noticing more now that I actually interact with him. When he first sees me he laughs. I frown, looking down at myself to see if something's wrong. Purple leggings, black hoodie, purple jewelry, and purple tensile in my braids. "You really like purple, huh?" There's a smirk on his face. He's definitely in a better mood than yesterday, but after that we are pretty much silent, aside from school talk.
I check my phone and see Collin's text that he'll be at my house at 8. I smile and then wonder if maybe I should hold a grudge for once in my life. Collin is a good friend- but he can be careless. Especially this past week. Most of my friends point out to me how he should have noticed my feelings by now. Most of my friends tell me to move on. I know the only reason I can't is because I'm still convinced we will end up together. I wonder if movie night will be different tonight. He might have seem Olivia today, or maybe it's ending with her?
"If you're going to help me get my grades up, you have to give me at least some of your attention." Ace snaps.
"Sorry I was- sorry." Helping Ace with calc is possible, helping him with chemistry is maybe the most frustrating thing I've ever done. I explain the same equation to him for 20 minutes before we decide to go home. He pays for my latte again and doesn't have to ask for directions back this time. It's silent, but the silence has become less stifling and I use it as time to consider things with Collin more. I need to ask Ace what he meant.
"Ace, when you told me to watch out for Collin. Why?" I'm glad I've finally asked but terrified that his warming might have real merit. Ace sighs and doesn't respond for a while. I wonder if he heard me, though the music definitely isn't loud enough to drown out my voice.
"Just forget it. Is he like your only friend or something?" I look out the window. No, he's not my only friend. He's just the one who seems to understand me and my problems. I have friends, and we are close, but somehow I still get told i have no friends. Mainly by girls like Olivia. I don't bother to respond. Ace is no more than I ever expected him to be. Low expectations in people mean you won't be disappointed.
I get out of the car without a word- deciding it's his problem to schedule our next session. I just want this movie night with Collin and to forget about Ace. When I get inside I spray perfume, put on lipgloss, and start making our favorite smack plate: popcorn, M&Ms, berries, and two sprites. I remember that I haven't talked in person with Collin for two days, and that we are in a weird place. But I don't want to be mad at him, I don't want to ruin our friendship.
When Collin walks in, I'm hoping he will give me an apology. Instead he smiles at me and I'm stupid enough to take it as one. He puts his arm around my shoulder and asks, "High-school musical?" I nod. "Same old Ky." He smiles and clicks on the Tv.
"Are your parents home?" He asks it gently, knowing it bothers me how little they see me. I've never even had to tell him, he just sees it. That's what I love about Collin. I can tell he's angry for me, angry that they don't even know their own daughter.
"Nope. Working." I don't want to sound sad when I say it, but it's hard to be upbeat about it.
"Well then it's a good thing I'm here."
"What would I do without you?" I smile, knowing how much I mean it even though I say it lightly. Collin has been the one true constant in my life for years. He laughs and his curls shake back and forth against his forehead. "It's the start of something new" starts playing and Collin pops up off the couch, singing troys part. I laugh and join in for Gabriela. We dance around the living room like we are kids again and I can't imagine more right.
When we sit back down he looks at me and says, "I missed you. You've been too busy for me." The sentence sends a pang of annoyance through me, he's the one who stood me up. But I hold on to the fact that he missed me. The fact that he cares about my presence in the same way I do. It seems dumb but I don't have that with anyone else. My parents are working all the time, Karl's with his own friends, I miss out on my girl friends because I'm doing schoolwork or seeing Collin. Eve, used to be that person for me, even more than Collin is. When I lost my sister I lost my best friend, the person who looked out for me before anything else. Collin laughs at a scene in the movie, bringing me back to the moment. I realize I never responded.
"I miss you too. We could do something this weekend? Maybe the diner?"
"Yeah, that'd be good." Collin looks over at me and offers his sweet smile. I smile back, finally feeling rebalanced. I lay my head softly against his shoulder and let out a small breath. Collin doesn't say a word about Olivia all night and when he leaves me with a hug I go to bed with a smile on my face.