"Cas'?"

"Yes?"

"Did you watch me sleep all night?"

"No...?"

Sunlight streamed through the blinds in the living area and caught the edge of the bed, the golden shard warming the sheets across our entangled legs. I curled safely and comfortably against his chest, my dark hair spilling over Castiel's shoulder and onto the pillow below. I couldn't tell if he'd moved during the night. While I'd slept like a baby, the angel didn't have any such need. That didn't mean I didn't appreciate the company, or the comfort of a warm, protective man beside me. He could've flitted off wherever he wanted when we were done. Back to the Winchesters without a second thought for me.

"You're a terrible liar."

I breathed him in. We couldn't stay in bed all day, as much as I wanted to. It felt normal beside Castiel. I mean, nothing about either of us was remotely normal, but moments of peace and quiet were so rare in our line of work. A few minutes in bed wouldn't have been precious or extraordinary to most, but to me, it was the most wonderful thing in the world.

"There was very little else for me to do," he said. "And nothing I'd have rather looked at. Does that upset you?"

"No. It's sweet."

"I observed that you make interesting faces while you sleep. I was sufficiently entertained."

Okay, that was less sweet. I didn't think that Castiel meant to cause offence. I'd observed once before that he watched me like I was a vaguely interesting television show and I supposed that wasn't about to change. We always found the things we didn't understand fascinating. It was cute that the novelty of mankind hadn't worn thin for Castiel. I almost wished that I could have half the wonder he did instead of just seeing the darkness and despair in the universe.

I nuzzled the angel's chest and placed a tender kiss against his skin. We had a long day ahead and should've been well rested. Instead, Castiel had lost all sense of time and control. If I hadn't enjoyed it, I'd have stopped him. I hadn't, of course. I wanted to indulge in the angel. To bask in him. I wanted us to worship one another until the early hours when I collapsed in exhaustion, sated and breathless.

Castiel was graceful in everything he did. The angel rolled me onto my back in one fluid motion and claimed my lips. The sound of our kiss filled the room, our hot, mingled breath drawn deep as his hands retraced the lines of my body that he'd familiarised himself with the night before. I didn't feel trapped beneath him. Rather, I felt protected. Safe. Like Castiel would never let anything bad happen to me.

But some things weren't in his control, and I'd learned over the years that I could only really count on myself.

Still, it was nice to enjoy the fantasy for a little while longer.

The fantasy could only last so long. The Winchesters would expect me to leave with them to meet Lee, and the longer I made them wait, the less time we had. It was safer to conduct our meeting in daylight. The demons were less likely to come for us in a city full of witnesses. There was still a risk. There was always a risk. But being a hunter was about minimising those risks and keeping the ignorant public as safe as possible while we took down the bad guy.

In this case, the person we needed to keep safe was Lee.

I told Castiel to return to Sam and Dean ahead of me. To spin them a lie about guarding the motel and keeping watch so they wouldn't know what'd done all night. I didn't know if they'd buy it, not when we shared a wall, but it was worth a shot. Otherwise, their belief that we had feelings for each other would overshadow the job. Besides, I didn't want to deal with Dean teasing me or making crude comments.

I tried to pick out something that a nervous younger sister would wear. As I rummaged through the bag I found that I'd accidentally thrown in some things from Bobby's wife's closet. Again, they weren't practical for hunting, and far too flowery for me. I brushed my thumb against an embroidered daisy on the sweet white dress and wondered what Bobby's life was like before the demon had come calling. The one who'd taken his wife and had sent him on this dark path. I'd never had the luxury of a normal life. Not when I was born to monsters and witches. For a time, Bobby had been spared all this evil and death. He must've mourned what he had every day.

I thought that he was fortunate to have had that for at least a little while.

Then again, his pain must have been immeasurable, and I couldn't miss what I'd never had.

Still, as I stared in the mirror at the woman in the white dress, I couldn't help but think what kind of life she'd have had as a human. The life that I'd imagined with Lee, maybe, except not as hunters. Just a brother and sister going to school like every other pair of siblings. Trying to get into college. Meeting someone special. Getting married. I might have even had kids one day. That was off the cards for me now, of course. I had no intention of creating more weapons for Crowley's plot. And I knew that there was no point in dwelling on things that I could never have, nor in envying the girl who stared back at me who looked innocent and ordinary.

Ordinary except for her eyes.

Those eyes told of years of hurt and heartache. Loss, death, shadows, and destruction. They were tired. Tired of everything. Yet, deep inside, there was determination. They belonged to someone who knew that no matter how bad it got, it was worth waking up and fighting through another day. Because it wasn't just about her.

It was about how she spent the time she had left on this Earth.

It was about all the people she saved.

I curled my hair and applied my makeup. I needed to look as young and non-threatening as possible. The only thing that let me down was my shoes. Heavy biker boots weren't exactly demure, but it was all I had. With any luck, someone would think that it was a fashion choice. Maybe some weird hippie, boho-chic choice.

The oversight played on my mind when I left the room and knocked on the door to rouse the Winchesters. I shouldn't have been nervous. I'd pretended to be human before. I'd pretended to be innocent before, too. One advantage of being a female hunter was that we were constantly underestimated, and so many monsters thought that we were easy prey. If anyone else had tried to use me as bait I'd have kicked up a stink, but when I threw myself to the vampires and werewolves of the world, I didn't have any space to complain.

Dean opened the door with his gun raised. He didn't lower it as he peered around me into the parking lot, scanning the area for anyone with a suspiciously high interest in us. Satisfied that the area was secure, he grasped my arm and pulled me into the room.

"Oh yeah, that didn't look suspicious at all," I said once he'd closed the door behind me. "Someone's going to think I was soliciting or something."

"Not in that dress." Dean gave me an appreciative look. "You scrub up good."

Castiel turned and his eyes widened. "You look like an angel."

"Yeah, well... Don't get used to it." I swished the long skirt. "No pockets. Nowhere for weapons. It's totally impractical."

"But it'll sell the story," Dean agreed.

I wasn't the only one who was trying to look the part. Sam smiled when I walked towards him, and I noticed there wasn't a weapon or scrap of flannel in sight. Just a plain t-shirt and a pair of jeans. It wasn't exactly a three-piece suit but he gave off boyfriend vibes and that was more than good enough for the plan to work.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I can see why I asked you out," he joked.

"Oh, you asked me?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I probably asked you."

"Alright, enough flirting," Dean interjected. "Everyone know their lines? Anyone gotta pee before we get out of here and ruin some poor guy's life?"

"No I think I'm ready to totally upset my brother's entire worldview," I said.

"Great." Dean clapped his hands together. "Cas', you're in the front with me."

Castiel didn't hear him. He was too busy glaring at Sam. I tried to catch his gaze to wordlessly communicate that he needed to calm down, but he didn't notice. Dean didn't have the patience for whatever crisis the angel was going through either. The hunter put himself between Castiel and Sam to steal the former's attention.

"Cas', you focused? Or are we gonna have a problem, here?"

"There won't be a problem."

Castiel fixed us with one last glare before he stalked out of the motel room. It looked like whatever I thought we might have had that morning was already a distant memory. That being the case, I was glad that I'd succumbed to the angel's charms, especially given I wasn't going to enjoy a repeat performance.

The car ride was as painful as the one that'd brought us to the sprawling city of Portland. The only saving grace was that it was of short duration. We arrived at a sleek office building and parked the Impala nearby. Out of sight enough that no one could steal it or cause it harm, but near enough that we could make a hasty getaway if things went sideways.

Things almost always went sideways.

The towering office building was a gleaming monument in the heart of the city. The midday sun gleaned from the polished windows and stung my eyes when I looked up to take stock of the place. It was hard to believe that Lee worked here when I spent my life in and out of crappy motels. I didn't want to be envious. I was, of course, but even if my life sucked it was better to know what was really out there than to be ignorant and wind up picked off by a monster someday.

At least, that's what I told myself to help me sleep at night.

Sam offered me his hand. "Ready to do this?"

"Sure. Who wouldn't want to do this?"

"It'll be fine." He laced his fingers through mine. "I promise."

Famous last words.