You forget your life after a while... the life you had before. Things you cherish and hold dear are like pearls on a string. Cut the knot, they scatter across the floor, rolling into dark corners, never to be found again. So, you move on. And eventually you forget what the pearls even looked like. Or at least you try.

I haven't put much thought into who I would marry. I always supposed I would find a man that I love, and it would fall into place. I never thought I'd find myself in 1743 marrying a man I have known for only a few months. It is all a little much for me.

I sit on the bed of the room Jamie, and I are to share at the nearby inn. The door opens and Jamie walks in.

"Sounds like the wedding party is still going strong," I state. "Don't suppose they're going to bed anytime soon."

"No. Not until they know we've made things official," Jamie explains.

"Should be grateful they didn't want to watch," I state.

"Only Rupert and Angus," Jamie tells me. "A wee joke."

"You're a regular Bob Hope," I remark.

"Was he a funny man?" Jamie asks.

I nod my head. "I always thought so." I take a breath. "Perhaps a drink?"

"Aye," Jamie agrees.

We clink our glasses.

"To a... a lady of grace, a woman of strength, and a bride of astonishing beauty," Jamie says. "My wife. Ava Fraser."

I finish my drink and pour us each another. After I finish that I pour myself one more.

Jamie puts his hand on my arm. "You needn't be afraid of me, Ava," Jamie assures me. "I wasna planning to suddenly force myself on you."

"Never thought you would," I tell him. "I have questions."

Jamie nods. "Ah, I suppose you do... under the circumstances." He sits on the bed. "What is it you want to know?"

"Well, I, um... What the hell. Might as well come straight out with it," I say. "Why did you agree to marry me? I mean, Dougal didn't give me much of a choice, but you..."

"Well, I... I didna see I had much choice either," Jamie explains. "I wasna going to let Randall get his hands on you. He already hurt you and I wasna going to let him hurt you worse."

"So you married me to keep me safe," I state.

"Aye. That's the gist of it," Jamie tells me. "You have my name, my clan, my family. And, if necessary, the protection of my body as well."

I sit down on the edge of the bed next to Jamie. I take a good look at him. This wasn't a marriage for love but at least he's my age and rather handsome. I feel myself leaning towards Jamie as he does the same. I stop him before our lips meet.

"Tell me about your family," I state.

Jamie laughs lightly. "How many generations back?"

"Your parents will do," I tell him.

Jamie nods. "Aye. My father was a Fraser. Of course. A younger half-brother to the present master... Colum and Dougal... my mother was Aileen Mackenzie, the elder sister of Colum and Dougal. Colum wished my mother to marry Malcolm Grant. My aunt Janet is dead, like my mother, but my aunt Jocasta... I had my father see me grow up. I was always grateful for that."

I smile as I listen to Jamie talk so freely about his family. It is a distraction, to be sure, but a welcome one for both of us. When he told me his family history, I reciprocated in kind... and we each spent the next several hours drinking and talking and... generally getting to know our new spouses for the first time. He is charming, a born storyteller, like most Scots. As the hours pass, I began to relax and eventually to enjoy myself.

"And your mother?" I ask.

"She and my father slipped out of the castle right under the noses of 300 clansmen," Jamie tells me. "And my father loved telling that story."

Suddenly the door swings open and Rupert and Angus stumble in.

"I told you to stand back, ye coof ye!" Rupert shouts.

Jamie stands up and walks towards the two men.

"I wasn't gonna ponce around outside the door, was I?" Angus questions. "Waiting for them to answer... like we were just coming by for a nice cup of tea."

"And just what are you doing?" Jamie questions.

"Dougal sent us up to see if ye'd, uh..." Rupert makes a crude gesture. "Y'ken?"

"Now, who's the coof?" Angus asks. "They've still got their clothes on."

"Get out," Jamie tells them.

"You can still do it with your clothes on," Rupert states.

"I know that, but not on your wedding night!" Angus shouts.

Jamie pushes them towards the door.

"I was just hoping to get a wee keek at her breasts," Angus says.

Jamie slams the door in their faces.

"They're related to you?" I question.

"Rupert only," Jamie tells me. "Distant cousin."

"It's getting rather late," I say. "Perhaps we should go to bed?"

"To bed... or to sleep?" Jamie asks as he steps closer.

"Well..." I say.

"Either way you're... not likely to sleep in your corset, so I 'll... I'll help you with the... the laces and such," Jamie offers.

He holds his hand out to me and I take it. I stand up and turn my back towards him.

"Skirts first," I tell him.

"Aye," Jamie says.

He unties the tie, and my skirts fall to the floor. I step out of them. Jamie continues onto the lace around my neck. I turn around so he can unlace my corset. I'm left in nothing but my shift. Jamie traces his hand over my heart before moving his hand down to my breast. He steps closer to me, but I stop him.

"It's my turn," I tell him.

I reach out and undo his belt.

Jamie reaches towards me and pulls me into a kiss. After a moment I pull away out of breath.

"Where did you learn to kiss like that?" I ask.

"I'm a virgin... not a monk," Jamie tells me.

He drops his kilt to the floor. He turns me around, so my back is pressed to his front. His hand trails up my thigh. I turn to face him again. He pushes me backwards onto the bed.

It is all over rather fast. Jamie and I lie beside one another on the bed.

"So, was it like you thought it would be?" I ask.

"Almost," Jamie tells me. "I thought... no, never mind."

"What? Tell me," I say.

"You'll laugh at me," Jamie insists.

I turn to face him. "Promise, I won't laugh."

"I didna realize you did it face-to-face," Jamie confesses. "I thought you must do it the back way, you know, like... like horses, ye ken."

I laugh and Jamie makes a face. "I'm sorry. I know, I promised I wouldn't laugh."

"I'll ask you a question," Jamie says.

I nod. "Of course."

"Did you like it?" Jamie asks. I don't say anything. "Murtagh was right about that, then."

"Murtagh?" I question.

"He said women generally do not care for it," Jamie informs me. "Well, he and Rupert. And Ned. They offered a lot of advice on the subject last night."

"I did like it, Jamie," I assure him. I stand up. "I need to get some food."

"Ava, wait," Jamie says. "Wait!"

I ignore Jamie and rush out of the room. I can hear people below cheering.

"Hey, lass, if you're still able to walk, Jamie isna doing his duty by ye!" Rupert shouts.

"If she's worn out already, Jamie, I'll be more than happy to fill your place," Angus tells him.

"Bit of a curse and give us peace," Jamie tells them. He turns back to me. "Better go back inside, Sassenach. Until they've had their fun, they'll no leave us alone."

I listen to Jamie and head back into the room as he heads downstairs.

Jamie and I sit at the small table in the room. He brought back a plate with food. He also tells me about how Dougal was being a rotten crumb. He said Jamie shouldn't appear too keen to come back to me.

"Did he really say that?" I ask.

Jamie nods. "Aye, he said, 'you never want to let a woman see you're too eager to please her. Gives her too much power.'"

"Really? And what did you have to say to that?" I ask.

"I said I was completely under yer power and happy to be there," Jamie tells me.

"Is there any more whiskey?" I ask.

Jamie stands up to retrieve it. "Always."

"Thank you," I tell him after he pours me a glass.

I can feel his fingers at the base of my head playing with the hair.

"Mo nighean donn," Jamie whispers.

"What does that mean?" I question.

"My brown-haired lass," Jamie tells me.

"Rather a dull color, brown, I've always thought," I confess.

"No. No, not dull at all," Jamie insists. "It's like the... the water in a burn, the way it ruffles down the rocks. Dark in the wavy spots with... wee bits of auburn when the sun touches it."

I turn and see his kilt still on the floor. "I see, um... see a new kilt for the occasion."

"Aye. The Fraser colors," Jamie tells me.

"Where did you get it?" I ask.

"Murtagh," Jamie tells me. "The clothes belonged to the husband of a Fraser widow about five miles from here. Died about ten years ago. I plan to be wed but one time. So, I wanted to do so in a way that would make my mother proud. He said my mother had the sweetest smile. Would warm a man to the backbone just to see it. And that your smile is just as sweet."

"Murtagh said that?" I ask. Jamie nods. "I wouldn't have expected anything quite so romantic."

"Well, still waters run deep, ye ken?" Jamie says.

"Is he a Fraser or a Mackenzie?" I ask.

"Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser," Jamie tells me.

"I'm surprised Dougal waited for him to go get your kilt," I admit. "He was in such a hurry."

"He was, but I slowed him down," Jamie informs me. "I had three conditions. First, we must be wed properly. In a church. Before a priest. To get the priest to perform the ceremony Dougal had to promise him proper windows for his church. Dougal said that the wee man barely skipped a beat before asking what time we would like the ceremony to begin."

"Church and money, some things don't change," I state. "What was your next condition?"

"Rings. Made from a key," Jamie tells me.

"A key." I look down at my ring. "Key to what?" I question.

"Nothing," Jamie tells me. "It was just something I had in my sporran."

"What was your third condition?" I ask.

"I left that to Ned," Jamie tells me. "I knew you would be needin' a dress. Ned found it in a whorehouse."

I laugh. "Oh, come on. Now you're just making things up."

"No, I-I told it to you exactly as Ned told it to me," Jamie insists. "Grinning like a dog with twa tails and beaming red the whole time. Did ye not see the strumpet at the wedding?"

"Oh, so that's who that was," I state.

"Aye," Jamie says.

"I had no idea that all that was going on," I confess. "That's right."

"Ye've not told me what you were doing all day," Jamie says.

I hold up the bottle of whiskey.

Jamie laughs. "Ah."

"At least I had Claire to help me," I tell him. "After she finally came around to the idea of her younger sister marrying a man she barely knows."

"So, do ye no remember anything of your own wedding?" Jamie asks.

"As a matter of fact, I do," I tell him. "I did have a monstrous hangover, though."

"I remember every moment, every second," Jamie tells me. "I'll never forget when I came out of the church and saw you for the first time. It was as if I stepped outside on a cloudy day and suddenly the sun came out."

"I didn't even know your name," I remind him. I smile. "James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser."

"Ava Grace Beauchamp. Now Ava Grace Fraser." Jamie smiles. "So you don't remember any of this?"

"Not all of it," I confess. "But some things are very clear. I remember you putting the ring on my finger. Us taking a blood oath I suppose. What exactly did the words mean?"

"You are blood of my blood and bone of my bone. I give you my body that we two may be one. I give you my spirit... till our life shall be done," Jamie tells me.

"For a second I thought you werna going to kiss me," Jamie tells me. "But when you did when you kissed me like that, well, maybe you weren't so sorry to be marrying me after all."

"Take off your shirt," I tell him. "I want to look at you."

Jamie stands up and does as I say. I put my hand on his chest. I drag my hand along his chest around to his backside.

"Well, then... fair is fair," Jamie tells me. "Take off yours as well."

I slip my shift off my shoulders, and it falls to the ground. Jamie steps back to look at me.

"Have you never seen a naked woman before?" I question.

"Aye, but not one so close," Jamie tells me. He brings his hand up to my breast. "And not one that's mine."

He leans in to kiss me, and I wrap my arms around his neck. He grabs me by the legs and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist. He moves to sit down on the edge of the bed with me on his lap.

Jamie hovers above me with a smile on his face.

*****

"I dinna know women could... Does it happen every time?" Jamie asks.

I roll us over, so I am on top of Jamie.

"Only if the man is a very good lover," I tell him.

I lean forward and kiss him. After a moment Jamie pulls away.

"But you're so small. I didna want to hurt you," Jamie tells me.

I push Jamie's hands back over his head.

"What are you doing?" Jamie asks.

"Stay still," I tell him. I kiss my way down his neck stopping at his chest. I bite softly. "Does that hurt?"

"Little bit," Jamie tells me.

"Do you want me to stop?" I ask.

"No." Jamie smiles. "No."

I trail kisses and bite marks down Jamie's chest. I can't help but wonder if I'm the only girl who's ever gone down on him.

"Shaoil ​​​​mi gu robh mo chridhe gu bhith briste," Jamie says.

I lean in close to him. "What did you say?"

"I thought my heart was gonna burst," Jamie tells me.

After Jamie falls asleep, I head downstairs.

"Mrs. Fraser."

I turn and see Dougal walk into the inn.

"You're out late," I tell him.

"Aye. I'm just back from seeing Captain Randall. I shared with him the happy news that you're no longer at his beck and call," Dougal informs me.

"What did he say?" I question.

"That there are likely limits even to your tolerance for foul language," Dougal informs me.

"I don't suppose he means to take any further steps about it?" I ask.

"I shouldn't think so. He's got more important things to worry about than chasing after one stray Sassenach, no matter how pretty," Dougal tells me. "And he's got better sense than to rile Colum by kidnapping his nephew's wife."

"That's comforting to know," I assure him.

Dougal puts his hand on my shoulder. "I commend you for doing your duty. But it needn't stop you from sampling other pleasures. I find you to be the most singular woman, Ava."

"I'm Jamie's wife," I tell him.

I hear the door open again and someone walks in.

"Evening, mistress, Dougal," Rupert greets.

"Good evening, Rupert," I greet. "I would like to thank you for your kindness towards me. The... the ring is magnificent."

"Oh, well, you're welcome," Rupert tells me. "And a most hearty congratulations to you on your wedding day."

"Thank you," I tell him as I start up the stairs.

"Ah, young Jamie may no have much experience, but that one looks like well ridden," Rupert remarks. Dougal punches Rupert in the face. "What was that fer?"

"Check the horses," Dougal tells him.

"I've already done it," Rupert informs him.

"Do it again," Dougal instructs.

I cannot seem to sleep. Not after what Dougal just did. I sit by the fireplace in Jamie and I's room. I hear Jamie get out of bed and walk towards me. Suddenly a pearl necklace is being placed around my neck.

"They're Scotch pearls," Jamie tells me. "They belonged to my mother. And now they belong to my wife. They're one of the few things I have left of her. And very precious to me. As are you, Ava."

I reach my hand out and put it on Jamie's check before learning forward and kissing him.